"My alphabetizing skills might be lacking, but I ain’t stupid.”
August 12, 2011 10:53 AM   Subscribe

"I was just trying to give the people around here some damn culture." Local country fan Reginald Spears was arrested over the weekend for merchandise tampering at the new Super Walmart out on the bypass. The details of his infractions are unique, to say the least.
posted by emjaybee (9 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: News of the Weird isn't really great for us. -- restless_nomad



 
Filed Under: Fake News
posted by rusty at 10:55 AM on August 12, 2011


OK, do I point first, or do I laugh, and then point. I never get that right.
posted by tomswift at 10:56 AM on August 12, 2011


Reported by “Trailer” Parkman of Farce the Music. Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.
posted by dortmunder at 10:56 AM on August 12, 2011


So this is what we can expect now that the Onion has a paywall?
posted by the dief at 10:56 AM on August 12, 2011


Or, "Area Man Writes Lame-Ass Satire"
posted by the dief at 10:57 AM on August 12, 2011


It's true, the world needs more Flatt & Scruggs and Jerry Reed.
posted by entropicamericana at 10:57 AM on August 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is poetically beautiful:

“Can you believe they didn’t have a Jerry Reed CD in the whole god***n store?” he continued. “Well, for 15 shining minutes last Friday night, they did.”
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 10:58 AM on August 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


It would have been awesome if true.
posted by empath at 10:59 AM on August 12, 2011


Was "Flatt and Smugs" a typo, or did he really say that?

Thin post.
posted by Melismata at 11:00 AM on August 12, 2011


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