World's Funniest Dinner Trick

August 14, 2011 7:45 PM

World's Funniest Dinner Trick. But wait! There's more!
posted by odinsdream (59 comments total)

Best. Grandpa. EVAR.
posted by Dr. Zira at 7:48 PM on August 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

5 million views.
posted by dibblda at 7:48 PM on August 14, 2011

Have Fun with Billy Bob Teeth!
posted by The Devil Tesla at 7:49 PM on August 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Poor Beaker.
posted by maudlin at 7:50 PM on August 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

For those who like actual humor instead of "ironic appreciation," here is

The Absent-Minded Waiter
posted by charlie don't surf at 7:51 PM on August 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

For those who like actual humor instead of "ironic appreciation,"

It's too bad you have no soul and can only conceive of enjoying these videos ironically.
posted by kenko at 7:54 PM on August 14, 2011 [16 favorites]

Personally, I'm a fan of the stab-yourself-in-the-eyeball trick. This is especially good to pull when going out for breakfast when 1) coffee creamer is available and 2) your dining companions are too tired/hungover to follow what you're doing.

Step 1: Palm a coffee creamer while no one's looking.
Step 2: Hold hand up to eye.
Step 3: Make subtle, gee-my-eye-hurts noises and gestures. Don't oversell it. Wait until someone notices and says, "hey man, is your eye ok?"
Step 4: Say, "I don't know, it just started throbbing. Owwwww!"
Step 5: Continue until the rest of the table grows concerned.
Step 6: Grab fork.
Step 7: While cupping the coffee creamer over your eye, stick fork up there in a way that looks like you're massaging your eyeball.
Step 8: Puncture coffee creamer and start screaming while flailing creamer/eyeball ooze far and wide.
Step 9: Reveal trick and laugh at your friends for caring about your well being.
posted by phunniemee at 7:54 PM on August 14, 2011 [40 favorites]

My wife cannot understand why I can't stop laughing.
posted by bpm140 at 7:55 PM on August 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

It's too bad you have no soul and can only conceive of enjoying these videos ironically.

Alas, I am no longer three years old.
posted by charlie don't surf at 7:57 PM on August 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

This guy makes me wonder what Jeff Goldblum doing an impression of Jim Carrey would look like.
posted by BrotherCaine at 8:03 PM on August 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Orange peel teeth is an old favorite because we had this great book when I was a kid.
posted by hydrophonic at 8:04 PM on August 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

It's all in the lack of delivery.
posted by device55 at 8:04 PM on August 14, 2011 [8 favorites]

Eerily I was about to comment that the internet was now regurgitating stuff I learned from the Kid's Kitchen Takeover when I was 7 and had even dug up exactly the same link as hydrophonic. Fuck you internet, I used to feel slightly unique from time to time.
posted by nanojath at 8:08 PM on August 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Damnit. The last video, entitled "The Whole Enchilada" made me want enchiladas.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:08 PM on August 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is clearly the best dinner trick.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 8:10 PM on August 14, 2011 [21 favorites]

there's also the magic disappearing cracker trick:

step 1 (optional): learn to successfully "palm" a cracker, as is done with cards
step 2: show the table a cracker
step 3: pretend to place the cracker into the fist of one hand, but instead palm the cracker with the other hand
step 4: announce that you will now sprinkle magic dust over the cracker to make it disappear
step 5: crumble cracker over your empty fist
step 6: "the reveal"-- the cracker is completely gone
step 7: (optional but recommended) clean the table so the waiter does not have to do it for you
posted by cubby at 8:10 PM on August 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Personally, I'm a fan of the stab-yourself-in-the-eyeball trick

As seen in this scene from Hot Fuzz: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Bs70hpOO0s
posted by ringu0 at 8:13 PM on August 14, 2011

I'm, like, 100% sure this is exactly the way my two nieces see me.
posted by elmer benson at 8:14 PM on August 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Also, because I'm a parent, I said, "Don't put those by your eyes" out loud during Lemon Eyes.
posted by elmer benson at 8:15 PM on August 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Personally, I'm a fan of the stab-yourself-in-the-eyeball trick.

Best trick ever. I made a girl nearly faint with that one, once.
posted by rifflesby at 8:26 PM on August 14, 2011

Get David Byrne's uncle the hell away from me!
posted by gcbv at 8:30 PM on August 14, 2011 [5 favorites]

You know that version of poker where the player's stick a card to their foreheads?

Same thing totally works with a credit card.

Say you're out at dinner with some friends and the bill has come. Credit cards are placed in the little tray for the waiter to collect.

Snatch a card and slap it on your forehead when the owner of the card isn't looking.

Soon they'll notice that their card is missing. Act concerned. "I saw you put it right there" you'll say. Look around. Check under the table.

The fun part is finding out how long it takes for someone to notice that the card is stuck to your silly head.
posted by device55 at 8:32 PM on August 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

I think you guys are missing the point of the 2nd trick. The trick part is how the end of the first lemon flies off before he's finished cutting.
posted by crunchland at 8:33 PM on August 14, 2011

Personally, I'm a fan of the stab-yourself-in-the-eyeball trick.

Yup, I popped in to give love to Penn & Teller's How To Play With Your Food too. I've induced a few late night diner freakouts with the creamer gag.
posted by mintcake! at 8:34 PM on August 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Why am I overcome with certainty that this man killed Laura Palmer?
posted by middleclasstool at 8:37 PM on August 14, 2011 [13 favorites]

phunniemee: "Step 7: While cupping the coffee creamer over your eye, stick fork up there in a way that looks like you're massaging your eyeball."

This part of the "trick" (am I being had?) confuses me. How are you supposed to convince anyone you're massaging your eye with a fork? Are you supposed to try to conceal the fork behind your forearm?
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 8:43 PM on August 14, 2011

Why do I want to give Molly Ringwald my earring?
posted by swift at 8:44 PM on August 14, 2011

I like how the last one is pretty much a clip show. Do they make those anymore?
posted by sugarfish at 8:48 PM on August 14, 2011

How are you supposed to convince anyone you're massaging your eye with a fork?

The point is that no one in their right mind would massage their eye with a fork. It's incredibly dangerous. You need to do it fast so that no one has the chance to say, "why are you massaging your eye with a fork?" You need them to go straight from their horrified reaction when you grab the fork and bring it toward your eye and their horrified reaction when you spritz them with eye goo. Don't give them time to transition between the actions or think logically.
posted by phunniemee at 8:51 PM on August 14, 2011

Oh god, stop cutting things with that horrible knife.
posted by humboldt32 at 8:55 PM on August 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Fruity.
posted by bicyclefish at 9:10 PM on August 14, 2011

"The whole enchilada" should be called "The Owen Wilson."
posted by etc. at 9:24 PM on August 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

"I showed this to my wife... now I'm divorced."
posted by Ahab at 9:30 PM on August 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Why am I overcome with certainty that this man killed Laura Palmer?

I just came to say that the only way these videos would be better is if David Lynch had done them. Starring David Lynch.
posted by zardoz at 9:35 PM on August 14, 2011

John Locke approves.
posted by Rhaomi at 9:35 PM on August 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

The water glass thing is totally BS, but I'm still impressed with the visual effects. Assuming he's an amateur, very impressive.
posted by kavasa at 9:39 PM on August 14, 2011

Every time I see the orange teeth trick - it just reminds me of Marlon Brandon staggering to his death....
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 9:52 PM on August 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: World's Funniest Dinner Trick.
posted by Wizzle at 9:56 PM on August 14, 2011

Is this vid like a promo for the new hi-resolution packs for Gerry's Mod? I guess the G-Man needed slightly weirder teeth.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:19 PM on August 14, 2011

Agh! Not that weird!
posted by FatherDagon at 10:56 PM on August 14, 2011

The expression, the eyes, the knife.

Can't sleep now. Can't sleep ever.
posted by zippy at 11:57 PM on August 14, 2011

My personal favorite, the broken neck:

1. Steal away and break up a couple sticks of uncooked linguini into 1" pieces and hold them in between your teeth.
2. Wander back into room moving your head around like your neck is stiff or you have a kink in it.
3. Place hands on chin and top of head and do an exaggerated ' I'm cracking my neck vertebrae' maneuver. Bite down hard on linguini at this point.




4. Once everyone stops being ill announce how good that just felt.
posted by mcrandello at 12:09 AM on August 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

Julian Assange does dinner tricks? Who knew?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:46 AM on August 15, 2011

BrotherCaine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Bs70hpOO0s

Nah, I was thinking more David Byrne by way of Christopher Walken, with an overall effect kind of like Ray Wise from "Twin Peaks"...
 

gcbv: Get David Byrne's uncle the hell away from me

Dammit.

middleclasstool: Why am I overcome with certainty that this man killed Laura Palmer

Goddamnit!!!
posted by hincandenza at 1:14 AM on August 15, 2011

If this is gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.
posted by brappi at 2:30 AM on August 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

Chicken from a cloth napkin.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:39 AM on August 15, 2011

Sliced banana in skin.
posted by Splunge at 4:22 AM on August 15, 2011

My personal favorite, the broken neck:

If there's a fly bothering your table:
Quietly place a potato chip or crunchy bar snack in your mouth.
Grab at fly in mid flight and act like you caught it between thumb and index finger.
Bring to your mouth
Crunch on the potato chip like your're "eating the fly".

You will get laid tonight. Guaranteed.
posted by hal9k at 6:22 AM on August 15, 2011

A variant of hal9k's trick: we always used something crunchy hidden in the mouth, followed by a pantomime to suggest bugs in the hair. Hand goes up, rummages through hair, grabs something, pops it into mouth. Crunching. Hilarity ensues.

Another good one is the nose snapper... hide thumbs behind hands and, using fingers, appear to move nose from side to side while using thumbnail to make snapping noise with teeth. Good for plenty laughs.
posted by kinnakeet at 7:00 AM on August 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Bite down hard on linguini at this point.

Is something wrong with me if I can get the sound effects without the linguini?
posted by porpoise at 8:27 AM on August 15, 2011

Holy shit is this post ever timely. I got a 2 year old who won't stay at the fucking table. Thank you thank you thank you...

I'll let you guys know how it goes tonight
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:44 AM on August 15, 2011

Is something wrong with me if I can get the sound effects without the linguini?

Don't eat the therapist ER and DTMFA.

Wait, what color is this background?
posted by cmoj at 8:46 AM on August 15, 2011

He's just playing the long game. After three or four years of posting videos of himself holding up a knife and a piece of fruit and then using the fruit to make vaguely silly faces, he'll post one where he holds up a knife and a severed human hand and then does a puppet show. With finger puppets.

It's going to be hilarious.
posted by ook at 8:53 AM on August 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

Grab at fly in mid flight and act like you caught it between thumb and index finger.
Bring to your mouth
Crunch on the potato chip like your're "eating the fly".

Well hell, I've just been grabbing and eating bugs. This seems so much easier!
posted by FatherDagon at 1:48 PM on August 15, 2011

This guy is fantastic.
posted by kenko at 7:54 PM on August 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is how I remember TV from the 80's.
posted by jonathanzoomer at 8:28 AM on August 17, 2011

kenko: "This guy is fantastic "

...why does the poor man have a bowtie on his head?
posted by Gordafarin at 3:41 PM on August 17, 2011

...why does the poor man have a bowtie on his head?

That's a woman and she's wearing a bow, not a bowtie.
posted by kenko at 8:50 AM on August 18, 2011

I have this book, Singing For Your Supper, and although it isn't superfantastic it has proven handy.
posted by bz at 9:46 PM on September 7, 2011