GOD SPEED ALEJENDRO!!! MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON THIS!
August 17, 2011 1:46 PM Subscribe
This post was deleted for the following reason: I hope the good folks at the Domino Pizza corporation will not be hurt if I suggest that this is kind of weak sauce for a post. -- cortex
It's a very cool story.
Part of me feels it's fake, though.
posted by royalsong at 1:51 PM on August 17, 2011 [10 favorites]
Part of me feels it's fake, though.
posted by royalsong at 1:51 PM on August 17, 2011 [10 favorites]
Well, if it's true it's a fine tale. But he should have added how much he tipped the guy.
posted by Glinn at 1:52 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Glinn at 1:52 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
He "accessed the situation?"
I don't think so! < crow >
posted by wittgenstein at 1:53 PM on August 17, 2011
I don't think so! < crow >
posted by wittgenstein at 1:53 PM on August 17, 2011
I truly can't believe that people actually pay to eat Domino's. I understand that there are vast regions without decent pizza, but not eating pizza is seriously the preferable option in that case.
posted by threeants at 1:53 PM on August 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by threeants at 1:53 PM on August 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea
Thanks, asshole.
posted by NoraReed at 1:54 PM on August 17, 2011 [22 favorites]
Thanks, asshole.
posted by NoraReed at 1:54 PM on August 17, 2011 [22 favorites]
It's not about the pizza. You throw that away. You order the pizza because they're deliverypeople double as cheap private security.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 1:55 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 1:55 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
By the end, I felt the impulse to stab him too, so maybe we should hear Dr. Six Pack's EX-girlfriend's side of the story.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 1:56 PM on August 17, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by Salvor Hardin at 1:56 PM on August 17, 2011 [6 favorites]
Domino's Pizza Tracker is such a good idea that I actually sent Domino's a message praising it. I am not the kind of person to leave feedback. It's a game changer and in 5 years every delivery website will have it or will die.
I just can't say enough positive about it.
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:56 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
I just can't say enough positive about it.
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:56 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Domino's: "Look! We have SoMe staff to do viral shit now! With cuss words and misspellings for extra edginess!" Yawns...
posted by airgirl at 1:57 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by airgirl at 1:57 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm kind of slow today, so I don't understand what the pizza tracker had to do with saving his life. If he hadn't known that the pizza was on its way, would he have done something stupid?
I have to admit that I do enjoy how Pizza Hut tells me an approximate time that the delivery guy will be there, instead of telling me "45 minutes" and having me do the math.
posted by muddgirl at 1:57 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I have to admit that I do enjoy how Pizza Hut tells me an approximate time that the delivery guy will be there, instead of telling me "45 minutes" and having me do the math.
posted by muddgirl at 1:57 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
That's an awesome story and rekindles my love for the Pizza Tracker. I love coal-fired handmade artisanal pizza as much as the next snob, but goddamn if I don't order from Dominos about once a month just to gaze at the beauty of the Pizza Tracker.
posted by mathowie at 1:58 PM on August 17, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by mathowie at 1:58 PM on August 17, 2011 [7 favorites]
This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea...
...or maybe it's a story of how being a dick can get you almost stabbed.
posted by griphus at 1:58 PM on August 17, 2011 [8 favorites]
...or maybe it's a story of how being a dick can get you almost stabbed.
posted by griphus at 1:58 PM on August 17, 2011 [8 favorites]
...or maybe it's a story of how being a dick can get you almost stabbed.
I know right? Anytime a woman wants to stab a guy let's just assume he had it coming
posted by the mad poster! at 1:59 PM on August 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
I know right? Anytime a woman wants to stab a guy let's just assume he had it coming
posted by the mad poster! at 1:59 PM on August 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
wittgenstein: “‘accessed the situation?’ I don't think so! < crow >”
That's great, but if I were going to make that joke, I think I would have used the part about her "violet outburst."
posted by koeselitz at 2:00 PM on August 17, 2011
That's great, but if I were going to make that joke, I think I would have used the part about her "violet outburst."
posted by koeselitz at 2:00 PM on August 17, 2011
Domino's pizza is so gross, and I live in the upper east side, but I love the fucking pizza tracker so much that I order domino's semi-regularly. It's also ridiculously cheap.
Also, it's true, I've never seen a non-Spanish sounding name on the pizza tracker.
posted by gagglezoomer at 2:01 PM on August 17, 2011
Also, it's true, I've never seen a non-Spanish sounding name on the pizza tracker.
posted by gagglezoomer at 2:01 PM on August 17, 2011
"violet outburst."
oh that's just a typo? I was wondering what on earth..
posted by the mad poster! at 2:01 PM on August 17, 2011
oh that's just a typo? I was wondering what on earth..
posted by the mad poster! at 2:01 PM on August 17, 2011
Dating mentally ill people IS a good idea?
Stigmatizing mental illness is kind of a dick move. Like the article does. Or like you're doing.
posted by neuromodulator at 2:02 PM on August 17, 2011 [11 favorites]
Stigmatizing mental illness is kind of a dick move. Like the article does. Or like you're doing.
posted by neuromodulator at 2:02 PM on August 17, 2011 [11 favorites]
TheKM: “Dating mentally ill people IS a good idea?”
Everybody has some shit to deal with. Mental health is hard to pin down, so judging people based on it is foolish and unjust. Meanwhile, "mentally ill" != "violent," so the assumption that bipolar people will pull a knife on you and threaten to stab themselves or stab you is more than a little unfair.
posted by koeselitz at 2:03 PM on August 17, 2011 [9 favorites]
Everybody has some shit to deal with. Mental health is hard to pin down, so judging people based on it is foolish and unjust. Meanwhile, "mentally ill" != "violent," so the assumption that bipolar people will pull a knife on you and threaten to stab themselves or stab you is more than a little unfair.
posted by koeselitz at 2:03 PM on August 17, 2011 [9 favorites]
Wait... we* can not only track our Domino's pizzas, but tweet our Domino's pizzas. Can you guys not do that? Because as much as I love tracking my pizza, I'm sure it's twice as exciting for my friends.
*Ireland
posted by DarlingBri at 2:03 PM on August 17, 2011
*Ireland
posted by DarlingBri at 2:03 PM on August 17, 2011
Dating mentally ill people IS a good idea?
Of course not, silly, you institutionalize them. Mentally ill people don't deserve love.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 2:04 PM on August 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
Of course not, silly, you institutionalize them. Mentally ill people don't deserve love.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 2:04 PM on August 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
(Although I guess maybe being "mentally ill" might mean that you're "violet." In my least healthy moments, I have often turned shades of purple. Still, I had thought the days of judging someone based on the color of their skin were behind us.)
posted by koeselitz at 2:04 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by koeselitz at 2:04 PM on August 17, 2011
Little did he know that his ex had been possessed by The Noid.
So things kind of cancelled each other out.
posted by Flashman at 2:05 PM on August 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
So things kind of cancelled each other out.
posted by Flashman at 2:05 PM on August 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
Awful domestic violence issues aside, fuck yeah, Alejendro.
posted by Space Kitty at 2:05 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by Space Kitty at 2:05 PM on August 17, 2011
I haven't needed to buy cheap pizza in a while but even at their worst I always found Dominoes to be a better product than the vaguely cardboard crap that Pizza Hut passes off as pizza. A Papa Johns was always completely mediocre swill.
If they've upgraded quality then good for them.
posted by vuron at 2:06 PM on August 17, 2011
If they've upgraded quality then good for them.
posted by vuron at 2:06 PM on August 17, 2011
Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didn’t panic, and saved my ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza too.
At first I was going to call bullshit, but then I realized: the chemicals in his brain have all gone to "WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT" mode and even a swift kick in the ass would have probably felt like a high five. So then, I get this idea:
The delivery guy shows up to your door and suddenly whips out a gun. Points it at you, tells you to get down, calls you a motherfucker a few times, the whole shpiel. You piss yourself because, for all you know, you're about die. Then he suddenly puts it away and hands you your pizza with a "oh just kidding", and a friendly slap on the shoulder. You don't know what's going on, and you're just frozen there. You pay him because he's expecting it and you'll do anything to get him away from you. Dude walks to his car and drives away.
...and you eat the best fucking pizza you've ever had while he counts his huge tip.
posted by griphus at 2:06 PM on August 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
At first I was going to call bullshit, but then I realized: the chemicals in his brain have all gone to "WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT" mode and even a swift kick in the ass would have probably felt like a high five. So then, I get this idea:
The delivery guy shows up to your door and suddenly whips out a gun. Points it at you, tells you to get down, calls you a motherfucker a few times, the whole shpiel. You piss yourself because, for all you know, you're about die. Then he suddenly puts it away and hands you your pizza with a "oh just kidding", and a friendly slap on the shoulder. You don't know what's going on, and you're just frozen there. You pay him because he's expecting it and you'll do anything to get him away from you. Dude walks to his car and drives away.
...and you eat the best fucking pizza you've ever had while he counts his huge tip.
posted by griphus at 2:06 PM on August 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Everybody has some shit to deal with.
True, but there are degrees.
posted by Jahaza at 2:07 PM on August 17, 2011
True, but there are degrees.
posted by Jahaza at 2:07 PM on August 17, 2011
Metafilter never ceases to surprise me. I think a thread is going to go one way and then *boom* it zags in an unexpected direction.
posted by Alison at 2:07 PM on August 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Alison at 2:07 PM on August 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Dating mentally ill people IS a good idea?
One of four people suffer mental illness. Most are manageable, many are short-lived. We'll probably all experience something along the lines of a mental disorder in our life.
Dating somebody who has violent psychotic episodes and won't get treated for them is probably a bad idea. But if you refuse to date people on the basis of health, sooner or later your dating pool dwindles to zero.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:07 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
One of four people suffer mental illness. Most are manageable, many are short-lived. We'll probably all experience something along the lines of a mental disorder in our life.
Dating somebody who has violent psychotic episodes and won't get treated for them is probably a bad idea. But if you refuse to date people on the basis of health, sooner or later your dating pool dwindles to zero.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:07 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Of course not, silly, you institutionalize them. Mentally ill people don't deserve love.
what part of stabbing somebody makes them love you? fuck this bullshit. would you be saying maybe the victim deserved stabbing if it was a woman and the ex with a knife was a guy?
posted by the mad poster! at 2:08 PM on August 17, 2011
what part of stabbing somebody makes them love you? fuck this bullshit. would you be saying maybe the victim deserved stabbing if it was a woman and the ex with a knife was a guy?
posted by the mad poster! at 2:08 PM on August 17, 2011
Also, it's true, I've never seen a non-Spanish sounding name on the pizza tracker.
The Domino's by me is owned by a Japanese family and operates on a higher than average standard of excellence. Draw from this whatever conclusions you will. It's great fun seeing Hiroto make the pizza, and then Hayate make the delivery. Hayate, the scion of the pizza family, makes his deliveries in a Scion.
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:08 PM on August 17, 2011 [8 favorites]
The Domino's by me is owned by a Japanese family and operates on a higher than average standard of excellence. Draw from this whatever conclusions you will. It's great fun seeing Hiroto make the pizza, and then Hayate make the delivery. Hayate, the scion of the pizza family, makes his deliveries in a Scion.
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:08 PM on August 17, 2011 [8 favorites]
This is kind of a tangent.
"psycho ex-boyfriend" About 324,000 results
"psycho ex-girlfriend" About 1,140,000 results
I wonder when mental illness became so gendered? Results are similar (although slighly less unbalanced) substituting with "crazy."
what part of stabbing somebody makes them love you?
Are all mentally-ill people violent? Not in my experience.
posted by muddgirl at 2:09 PM on August 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
"psycho ex-boyfriend" About 324,000 results
"psycho ex-girlfriend" About 1,140,000 results
I wonder when mental illness became so gendered? Results are similar (although slighly less unbalanced) substituting with "crazy."
what part of stabbing somebody makes them love you?
Are all mentally-ill people violent? Not in my experience.
posted by muddgirl at 2:09 PM on August 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Alejendro, please deliver a pizza to Brandon's room!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:09 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:09 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Seems fakey, but Alejendro is such a great name I'll suspend disbelief.
posted by found missing at 2:09 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by found missing at 2:09 PM on August 17, 2011
Are all mentally-ill people violent? Not in my experience.
obviously not. i'm just general resentful at the cultural construct that hurting men physically is okay if you're hurt or mad emotionally
posted by the mad poster! at 2:10 PM on August 17, 2011
obviously not. i'm just general resentful at the cultural construct that hurting men physically is okay if you're hurt or mad emotionally
posted by the mad poster! at 2:10 PM on August 17, 2011
How about:
Dating violent, unstable assholes (male or female variety) is a bad idea.
People who have mental illnesses are not necessarily violent, unstable assholes.
People who are violent, unstable assholes frequently have issues (which may include mental illnesses) that are not being managed well.
However, dating people who are actively managing their issues/mental illnesses is not necessarily a terrible idea.
I am pleased that the dude didn't get stabbed, though, even if he can't spell and has terrible taste in pizza.
posted by Kpele at 2:10 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Dating violent, unstable assholes (male or female variety) is a bad idea.
People who have mental illnesses are not necessarily violent, unstable assholes.
People who are violent, unstable assholes frequently have issues (which may include mental illnesses) that are not being managed well.
However, dating people who are actively managing their issues/mental illnesses is not necessarily a terrible idea.
I am pleased that the dude didn't get stabbed, though, even if he can't spell and has terrible taste in pizza.
posted by Kpele at 2:10 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Also, it's true, I've never seen a non-Spanish sounding name on the pizza tracker.
We know we're in for a treat when we see that Curtis is making our pizza. The dude is a master.
posted by Uncle Ira at 2:11 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
We know we're in for a treat when we see that Curtis is making our pizza. The dude is a master.
posted by Uncle Ira at 2:11 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
'm just general resentful at the cultural construct that hurting men physically is okay if you're hurt or mad emotionally
I don't think that viewpoint has been expressed in this thread. Perhaps we should not address it until somebody actually brings it up, and perhaps there are better ways to do so than one that seems to mock the mentally ill.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:11 PM on August 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
I don't think that viewpoint has been expressed in this thread. Perhaps we should not address it until somebody actually brings it up, and perhaps there are better ways to do so than one that seems to mock the mentally ill.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:11 PM on August 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
Oh, and another thing it would be cool if people stopped? Throwing around "bipolar" as a casual synonym for "crazy". Not that I've seen it happen here, but I hear it a lot out in meatspace (and, incidentally, have no evidence that the writer isn't doing it).
Bipolar is a real, tragic thing and those suffering from it don't need a harder time than they've already got.
posted by neuromodulator at 2:11 PM on August 17, 2011 [7 favorites]
Bipolar is a real, tragic thing and those suffering from it don't need a harder time than they've already got.
posted by neuromodulator at 2:11 PM on August 17, 2011 [7 favorites]
"The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed subcategory..."
posted by villanelles at dawn at 2:11 PM on August 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by villanelles at dawn at 2:11 PM on August 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
I don't think that viewpoint has been expressed in this thread.
I don't know man. what about the parts about maybe he's a dick and I feel like stabbing him too?
posted by the mad poster! at 2:12 PM on August 17, 2011
I don't know man. what about the parts about maybe he's a dick and I feel like stabbing him too?
posted by the mad poster! at 2:12 PM on August 17, 2011
Also, as Snopes reminds me, buying Dominos no longer means your money eventually goes to pro-life causes, except for the pro-life cause of not being stabbed to death by an ex.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:12 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:12 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
So, to paraphrase:
1. Mentally ill people are all horrible, violent bitches.
2. Dominoes totally has a pizza tracker.
3. OMG domestic violence!
4. Alejandro is a ninja turtle because he called the cops.
5. Somehow, this means that the pizza tracker saved my life.
Cool story, bro.
posted by asnider at 2:12 PM on August 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
1. Mentally ill people are all horrible, violent bitches.
2. Dominoes totally has a pizza tracker.
3. OMG domestic violence!
4. Alejandro is a ninja turtle because he called the cops.
5. Somehow, this means that the pizza tracker saved my life.
Cool story, bro.
posted by asnider at 2:12 PM on August 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
what about the parts about maybe he's a dick and I feel like stabbing him too?
I believe those were meant in jest, because he was being a dick. But if anybody who was responsible wants to correct me, in that they literally meant the girlfriend should have stabbed him, I am open to corrections.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:16 PM on August 17, 2011
I believe those were meant in jest, because he was being a dick. But if anybody who was responsible wants to correct me, in that they literally meant the girlfriend should have stabbed him, I am open to corrections.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:16 PM on August 17, 2011
what about the parts about maybe he's a dick and I feel like stabbing him too?
Maybe? No, he holds prejudices against the mentally ill and espouses them publicly. He's a dick. The "maybe" was regarding whether being a dick got him stabbed.
posted by griphus at 2:17 PM on August 17, 2011
Maybe? No, he holds prejudices against the mentally ill and espouses them publicly. He's a dick. The "maybe" was regarding whether being a dick got him stabbed.
posted by griphus at 2:17 PM on August 17, 2011
I don't really get how the pizza tracker saved the situation, Alejandro would have shown up, saw a someone with a knife, and called the cops with or without the pizza tracker.
I'd go so far as to say that the pizza tracker caused him additional emotional distress; false hope and all that jazz.
posted by porpoise at 2:17 PM on August 17, 2011
I'd go so far as to say that the pizza tracker caused him additional emotional distress; false hope and all that jazz.
posted by porpoise at 2:17 PM on August 17, 2011
This is kind of a tangent.
"psycho ex-boyfriend" About 324,000 results
"psycho ex-girlfriend" About 1,140,000 results
I wonder when mental illness became so gendered?
I noticed that in this account, the biggest moment of tension is when she (allegedly) "puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away" - even if the account is true, and the Domino's guy actually stopped a violent encounter, was the writer ever in any real danger?
I think that when women are dealing with a psycho ex, they know better than to publicly call them out as such, for their own safety's sake. Whereas when it comes to men, I suspect that a lot of it is just rote vilification. Not that women can't be psycho or abusive, just that if you were actually afraid of them as such, would you really be so cavalier about poking them?
posted by Mchelly at 2:18 PM on August 17, 2011
"psycho ex-boyfriend" About 324,000 results
"psycho ex-girlfriend" About 1,140,000 results
I wonder when mental illness became so gendered?
I noticed that in this account, the biggest moment of tension is when she (allegedly) "puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away" - even if the account is true, and the Domino's guy actually stopped a violent encounter, was the writer ever in any real danger?
I think that when women are dealing with a psycho ex, they know better than to publicly call them out as such, for their own safety's sake. Whereas when it comes to men, I suspect that a lot of it is just rote vilification. Not that women can't be psycho or abusive, just that if you were actually afraid of them as such, would you really be so cavalier about poking them?
posted by Mchelly at 2:18 PM on August 17, 2011
People need to learn proper disarming techniques and not rely on automated pizza trackers in the event of knife wielding assailants.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:20 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:20 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
The "maybe" was regarding whether being a dick got him stabbed.
that's cute. yes, I'm sure his gf wasn't concerned about her 'love' for him but about his soon to be post online. for which he had a stabbing coming. (if this story is true at all.) thanks for pointing out exactly what you think.
posted by the mad poster! at 2:20 PM on August 17, 2011
that's cute. yes, I'm sure his gf wasn't concerned about her 'love' for him but about his soon to be post online. for which he had a stabbing coming. (if this story is true at all.) thanks for pointing out exactly what you think.
posted by the mad poster! at 2:20 PM on August 17, 2011
I love the pizza tracker, but really it had nothing to do with Alejendro calling the cops.
And did he share the pizza with the cops?
posted by The Deej at 2:20 PM on August 17, 2011
And did he share the pizza with the cops?
posted by The Deej at 2:20 PM on August 17, 2011
And did he share the pizza with the cops?
It's pizza, not doughnuts.
posted by Jahaza at 2:21 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
It's pizza, not doughnuts.
posted by Jahaza at 2:21 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Home made Pizza Price: practically $1 per full pizza, complete total quality control, free postage, doesn't increase illegal immigration, tracking doesn't suffer from internet outages, frees broadband for downloading, perfectly fits your taste, extra cheese $0,1 per serving. Extra super bonus: impress your ex-psyco gf with your manly pizza dough kneading skills (real man knead by hand).
posted by elpapacito at 2:21 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by elpapacito at 2:21 PM on August 17, 2011
I don't really get how the pizza tracker saved the situation, Alejandro would have shown up, saw a someone with a knife, and called the cops with or without the pizza tracker.
I think the point was that the pizza tracker enabled him to see exactly how long he had to stall his ex for. If he did not have that kind of granular, real-time countdown clock to watch, he would have had to act more rashly, and maybe been in more danger than he was by just trying to stall her.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:22 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I think the point was that the pizza tracker enabled him to see exactly how long he had to stall his ex for. If he did not have that kind of granular, real-time countdown clock to watch, he would have had to act more rashly, and maybe been in more danger than he was by just trying to stall her.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:22 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I live close enough to a Domino's that I bike over and pick up my pizza instead of getting it delivered. That makes the pizza tracker utterly fantastic. I can always leave the house at exactly the right time, never have to wait, and never get a pizza that's been sitting around for 15 minutes.
posted by straight at 2:22 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by straight at 2:22 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Not that women can't be psycho or abusive, just that if you were actually afraid of them as such, would you really be so cavalier about poking them?
Yeah, if anyone is making light of domestic violence against men, it's Mark H. It's an understandable reaction to a stressful situation, but it also encourages other jokes about lighthearted violence.
posted by muddgirl at 2:23 PM on August 17, 2011
Yeah, if anyone is making light of domestic violence against men, it's Mark H. It's an understandable reaction to a stressful situation, but it also encourages other jokes about lighthearted violence.
posted by muddgirl at 2:23 PM on August 17, 2011
Horselover Phattie: “People need to learn proper disarming techniques and not rely on automated pizza trackers in the event of knife wielding assailants.”
I watched that whole video, but I didn't see the part where they explained how to deal with someone who is holding a knife up to their own wrist and threatening to cut themselves.
posted by koeselitz at 2:23 PM on August 17, 2011
I watched that whole video, but I didn't see the part where they explained how to deal with someone who is holding a knife up to their own wrist and threatening to cut themselves.
posted by koeselitz at 2:23 PM on August 17, 2011
I was resisiting having pizza for dinner tonight... now...
posted by Jahaza at 2:23 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by Jahaza at 2:23 PM on August 17, 2011
Home made Pizza Price: practically $1 per full pizza, complete total quality control, free postage, doesn't increase illegal immigration
First of all: Huh?
Second of all: Who do you think picks the produce you put on there?
posted by Sys Rq at 2:23 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
First of all: Huh?
Second of all: Who do you think picks the produce you put on there?
posted by Sys Rq at 2:23 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Perhaps having a girlfriend who was bipolar wield a knife at him instilled unfounded, prejudiced opinions in him against the mentally ill.
Note: not an excuse, but a possible explanation.
posted by knapah at 2:24 PM on August 17, 2011
Note: not an excuse, but a possible explanation.
posted by knapah at 2:24 PM on August 17, 2011
Alejendro will probably be fired for getting involved in a domestic dispute. That, and for being late to the next delivery because he was waiting for the cops.
Yeah, I'm a fucking cynic. Otherwise...Way to go Alejendro!!! And I do love the pizza tracker. Domino's, not so much.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:24 PM on August 17, 2011
Yeah, I'm a fucking cynic. Otherwise...Way to go Alejendro!!! And I do love the pizza tracker. Domino's, not so much.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:24 PM on August 17, 2011
> I watched that whole video, but I didn't see the part where they explained how to deal with someone who is holding a knife up to their own wrist and threatening to cut themselves.
Oh, well in Krav Maga they really don't teach you techniques to prevent someone from hurting themselves, only you. It was a joke, though, so don't get too logical about it.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:24 PM on August 17, 2011
Oh, well in Krav Maga they really don't teach you techniques to prevent someone from hurting themselves, only you. It was a joke, though, so don't get too logical about it.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:24 PM on August 17, 2011
I bet his name is spelled "Alejandro" anyway.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:25 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:25 PM on August 17, 2011
According to some, the Pizza Tracker is a fraud:
“Is this really patent-pending technology? I didn’t know you could patent bullshit,” he said. “Did you actually place my bottles of Diet Coke in the oven?” *
it would be even more amazing if it werent fake. It automatically updates based on a timer, not on what happens. I ordered--my pizza was "delivered" over 15 minutes before it got to me. And then I called the store--the Ernest, who "made" my pizza wasn't working that day. Its complete bull. *
And this story is amusing, but has all the earmarks of an urban legend.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:27 PM on August 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
“Is this really patent-pending technology? I didn’t know you could patent bullshit,” he said. “Did you actually place my bottles of Diet Coke in the oven?” *
it would be even more amazing if it werent fake. It automatically updates based on a timer, not on what happens. I ordered--my pizza was "delivered" over 15 minutes before it got to me. And then I called the store--the Ernest, who "made" my pizza wasn't working that day. Its complete bull. *
And this story is amusing, but has all the earmarks of an urban legend.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:27 PM on August 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Well, fortunately this is (knock on cardboard) not the stuff pizza delivery advertisements are made of, except for the watching TV and being impatient part.
Also, hooray for positive reinforcement regarding bad dietary habits! I am a patron of tracking software when awaiting packages, books, etc...Sadly for Domino's (NYSE:DPZ) said technology does not improve the quality of the product, as our near-death narrator purports.
posted by obscurator at 2:27 PM on August 17, 2011
Also, hooray for positive reinforcement regarding bad dietary habits! I am a patron of tracking software when awaiting packages, books, etc...Sadly for Domino's (NYSE:DPZ) said technology does not improve the quality of the product, as our near-death narrator purports.
posted by obscurator at 2:27 PM on August 17, 2011
I can safely say I've never ordered pizza from Domino's. How does the pizza tracker work? For example, I remember when my dad had a second job working for Domino's to help make ends meet. Would the pizza tracker have allowed me to follow him on deliveries throughout the evening until bedtime, almost as if he were home with his family?
I miss you, Dad.
posted by Eideteker at 2:28 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I miss you, Dad.
posted by Eideteker at 2:28 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Perhaps having a girlfriend who was bipolar wield a knife at him instilled unfounded, prejudiced opinions in him against the mentally ill.
Note: not an excuse, but a possible explanation.
Yes, this.
I was personally in a situation where an ex-girlfriend tried to run me over with her car in a parking lot. She had some serious, undiagnosed mental problems. It doesn't make me think all mentally ill people are bad, but it does make me less likely to stick around the next time I date someone with similar issues.
posted by reenum at 2:30 PM on August 17, 2011
Note: not an excuse, but a possible explanation.
Yes, this.
I was personally in a situation where an ex-girlfriend tried to run me over with her car in a parking lot. She had some serious, undiagnosed mental problems. It doesn't make me think all mentally ill people are bad, but it does make me less likely to stick around the next time I date someone with similar issues.
posted by reenum at 2:30 PM on August 17, 2011
Thanks, asshole.
Let's say you just started dating someone, and found out they were bipolar/schizophrenic. Assume this is someone you still barely know. Whether or not you would want to get seriously involved with someone with those problems is a perfectly valid question.
People don't date each other for lots of reasons. Most of us are going to be incompatible with someone who will probably one day have medical-grade mood swings.
I speak from experience
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 2:30 PM on August 17, 2011
Let's say you just started dating someone, and found out they were bipolar/schizophrenic. Assume this is someone you still barely know. Whether or not you would want to get seriously involved with someone with those problems is a perfectly valid question.
People don't date each other for lots of reasons. Most of us are going to be incompatible with someone who will probably one day have medical-grade mood swings.
I speak from experience
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 2:30 PM on August 17, 2011
Alejandro is the real hero, the tracker did nothing but maybe keep the man calm/distracted. I don't order the regular crust from Domino's, get thin crust and white sauce and then put bacon and spinach on it. Enjoy.
posted by soelo at 2:30 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by soelo at 2:30 PM on August 17, 2011
it would be even more amazing if it werent fake. It automatically updates based on a timer, not on what happens
Yes. And if the pizza delivery game is still the same as it was back when I was delivering, the guys cooking will get way behind. When the irate customer calls, they'll lie and say "it's on the way." Then when the driver gets there, the people will blame you for "taking forever" to deliver it and give you a small tip.
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:31 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Yes. And if the pizza delivery game is still the same as it was back when I was delivering, the guys cooking will get way behind. When the irate customer calls, they'll lie and say "it's on the way." Then when the driver gets there, the people will blame you for "taking forever" to deliver it and give you a small tip.
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:31 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
That is to say, they'll lie and say the driver already left when they haven't even started cooking the pizza yet.
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:32 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:32 PM on August 17, 2011
Home made Pizza Price: practically $1 per full pizza, complete total quality control, free postage, doesn't increase illegal immigration
At $1 you're making your own dough. Add 4 hours or more for the dough to proof.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 2:33 PM on August 17, 2011
At $1 you're making your own dough. Add 4 hours or more for the dough to proof.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 2:33 PM on August 17, 2011
Domino's Pizza Tracker is such a good idea that I actually sent Domino's a message praising it. I am not the kind of person to leave feedback. It's a game changer and in 5 years every delivery website will have it or will die.
Hmm...for the tracker to be accurate, people would need to be inputting status updates into a computer while also making/"quality controlling"/boxing/delivering pizzas. Is it a sure thing that this isn't just a status bar that scrolls across the page?
posted by Hoopo at 2:34 PM on August 17, 2011
Hmm...for the tracker to be accurate, people would need to be inputting status updates into a computer while also making/"quality controlling"/boxing/delivering pizzas. Is it a sure thing that this isn't just a status bar that scrolls across the page?
posted by Hoopo at 2:34 PM on August 17, 2011
hmm. interesting story but my cynic alarm is ring a dingin'.
i'm sorry about the guy's ex being mentally ill to that extent for both of them.
posted by sio42 at 2:34 PM on August 17, 2011
i'm sorry about the guy's ex being mentally ill to that extent for both of them.
posted by sio42 at 2:34 PM on August 17, 2011
Mentally ill people are all horrible, violent bitches.
That seems to me to be an inversion of the story. He called the one female human who showed up at his door with a knife and threatened to kill him and/or herself a psycho bitch. He did not call all females psycho bitches or all mentally ill people violent. I think if someone shows up at your door with a knife and threatens you, calling them crazy and violent is pretty excusable, if not merely apt.
Of course, the flippancy of his tone does leave me with some doubt over whether any of it actually happenned. Grain of salt and all that. But presuming it did....while I think there are important discussions to be had about the of bipolar an psycho as an epithet, and in particular the tendered use of such expressions, I don't think someone who threatened their ex at knifepoint is the best posterchild for that particular campaign....
posted by Diablevert at 2:35 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
That seems to me to be an inversion of the story. He called the one female human who showed up at his door with a knife and threatened to kill him and/or herself a psycho bitch. He did not call all females psycho bitches or all mentally ill people violent. I think if someone shows up at your door with a knife and threatens you, calling them crazy and violent is pretty excusable, if not merely apt.
Of course, the flippancy of his tone does leave me with some doubt over whether any of it actually happenned. Grain of salt and all that. But presuming it did....while I think there are important discussions to be had about the of bipolar an psycho as an epithet, and in particular the tendered use of such expressions, I don't think someone who threatened their ex at knifepoint is the best posterchild for that particular campaign....
posted by Diablevert at 2:35 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
As for Domino's, go for the Memphis BBQ pizza on thin crust. It's fantastic.
According to some, the Pizza Tracker is a fraud:
Even if this is true, it's still a brilliant idea. Domino's has developed a solution that addresses people's inherent impatience when ordering a food delivery.
Instead of sitting and anxiously wondering when my pizza will get there, I am soothed by the tracker telling me "Melanie just put your pizza in the oven" or "Joe just did a quality check". I'm sure this reduces the number of "Where's my pizza, dogg?" calls that Domino's stores receive. Thus, the staff is free to make more pizzas and spend less time on the phone with irate customers asking why the pizza they ordered 2 minutes ago hasn't arrived yet.
posted by reenum at 2:36 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
According to some, the Pizza Tracker is a fraud:
Even if this is true, it's still a brilliant idea. Domino's has developed a solution that addresses people's inherent impatience when ordering a food delivery.
Instead of sitting and anxiously wondering when my pizza will get there, I am soothed by the tracker telling me "Melanie just put your pizza in the oven" or "Joe just did a quality check". I'm sure this reduces the number of "Where's my pizza, dogg?" calls that Domino's stores receive. Thus, the staff is free to make more pizzas and spend less time on the phone with irate customers asking why the pizza they ordered 2 minutes ago hasn't arrived yet.
posted by reenum at 2:36 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
...oops, a bit late to the party on the pizza tracker is fake thing.
posted by Hoopo at 2:37 PM on August 17, 2011
Dating somebody who has violent psychotic episodes and won't get treated for them is probably a bad idea mind-blowing sex.
Just playing devil's advocate here.
posted by CynicalKnight at 2:39 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Just playing devil's advocate here.
posted by CynicalKnight at 2:39 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I wonder when mental illness became so gendered? Results are similar (although slighly less unbalanced) substituting with "crazy."
"asshole ex-boyfriend": 119,000
"asshole ex-girlfriend": 98,800
For what it's worth.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 2:40 PM on August 17, 2011
"asshole ex-boyfriend": 119,000
"asshole ex-girlfriend": 98,800
For what it's worth.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 2:40 PM on August 17, 2011
As for Domino's, go for the Memphis BBQ pizza on thin crust. It's fantastic.
NO.
I do order from Domino's, though. Default dining: they're the only place that will deliver to my house.
The chocolate lava cakes are delicious, even if they are probably mostly made of plastic.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:41 PM on August 17, 2011
NO.
I do order from Domino's, though. Default dining: they're the only place that will deliver to my house.
The chocolate lava cakes are delicious, even if they are probably mostly made of plastic.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:41 PM on August 17, 2011
I'll say the same thing to people who accuse Pizza Tracker of being fake as I do to people who bring up the concept of women "faking it" in bed; they may be faking it, but they're faking it for me.
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:42 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:42 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I find it touching, I really do, that Domino's would care so much about my happiness.
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:42 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:42 PM on August 17, 2011
Let's say you just started dating someone, and found out they were bipolar/schizophrenic. Assume this is someone you still barely know. Whether or not you would want to get seriously involved with someone with those problems is a perfectly valid question.
I dated (and invited her to live with me before I knew about it) somebody who had untreated BPD, and she put me in the hospital three times, and called the police alleging all sorts of bad things against me more times than I could count. I would never date, be friends with, or even be around somebody with untreated BPD ever again. Sorry.
I know that not all mentally ill people are like her, but the ones that are like her are dangerous and will harm you and I can show you scars to prove it.
I'm not quite sure what it is though, for Woman-attacking-Man domestic violence... people seem to think that it is either funny or not possible, or something. It gets dismissed a lot. I don't get it. Is it because of stories like this, or other exaggerations of "my psycho exgirlfriend" who actually wasn't "psycho?"
posted by Threeway Handshake at 2:43 PM on August 17, 2011
I dated (and invited her to live with me before I knew about it) somebody who had untreated BPD, and she put me in the hospital three times, and called the police alleging all sorts of bad things against me more times than I could count. I would never date, be friends with, or even be around somebody with untreated BPD ever again. Sorry.
I know that not all mentally ill people are like her, but the ones that are like her are dangerous and will harm you and I can show you scars to prove it.
I'm not quite sure what it is though, for Woman-attacking-Man domestic violence... people seem to think that it is either funny or not possible, or something. It gets dismissed a lot. I don't get it. Is it because of stories like this, or other exaggerations of "my psycho exgirlfriend" who actually wasn't "psycho?"
posted by Threeway Handshake at 2:43 PM on August 17, 2011
Would fake pizza tracker be any worse than the loading bars we already have? I think most people expect "50% complete" to mean that they're halfway done time-wise, not "done half the files" or whatever this particular loading bar has decided to use as a metric. Most of the time that lines up OK, but then there are the times when the bar jumps from 10-20 then sits there for an hour, bleh. At least a fake pizza tracker could give a usually-reasonable time estimate.
Sadly I think I just moved out of the delivery range of any Dominos. Do they even have pizza tracker in Canada? (Their pizza is actually pretty good. We ordered a few times at our old place and you get to play this neat little pizza-building game. You get exactly what you want, and the ingredients are pretty good for a delivery place. A couple times I got weird pizza but just 'cause I put weird ingredients together.)
posted by purplecrackers at 2:43 PM on August 17, 2011
Sadly I think I just moved out of the delivery range of any Dominos. Do they even have pizza tracker in Canada? (Their pizza is actually pretty good. We ordered a few times at our old place and you get to play this neat little pizza-building game. You get exactly what you want, and the ingredients are pretty good for a delivery place. A couple times I got weird pizza but just 'cause I put weird ingredients together.)
posted by purplecrackers at 2:43 PM on August 17, 2011
I noticed that in this account, the biggest moment of tension is when she (allegedly) "puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away" ... was the writer ever in any real danger?
Murder/suicide is usually the domain of men, but if an ex shows up at your house and bursts in with a knife yelling, then yes you're in "real danger" even if she makes threats of self-harm.
I would have thought this was self-evident, but apparently not.
posted by ODiV at 2:44 PM on August 17, 2011
Murder/suicide is usually the domain of men, but if an ex shows up at your house and bursts in with a knife yelling, then yes you're in "real danger" even if she makes threats of self-harm.
I would have thought this was self-evident, but apparently not.
posted by ODiV at 2:44 PM on August 17, 2011
I know that not all mentally ill people are like her, but the ones that are like her are dangerous and will harm you and I can show you scars to prove it.
I am sure this is true, but it is worth noting that people with mental illness are far more often the victims of violent crime than the causes of it. They are victimized by violent crime 11 times more often than the remaining population, in fact.
That being said, if your partner is violent, mentally ill or no, end the relationship.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:47 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I am sure this is true, but it is worth noting that people with mental illness are far more often the victims of violent crime than the causes of it. They are victimized by violent crime 11 times more often than the remaining population, in fact.
That being said, if your partner is violent, mentally ill or no, end the relationship.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:47 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
That seems to me to be an inversion of the story. He called the one female human who showed up at his door with a knife and threatened to kill him and/or herself a psycho bitch. He did not call all females psycho bitches or all mentally ill people violent.
I'd agree with you were it not for the fact that the first words in the story are: "This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea..."
This implication from that seems to be that if you date a woman with bipolar disorder, she will eventually try to harm either you or herself. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I've had a lot of people give me the unsolicited advice to never date someone with a mental illness. It pisses me of for reasons that I won't get into other than to say that I am not entirely a detatched observer when it comes to this issue.
posted by asnider at 2:47 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'd agree with you were it not for the fact that the first words in the story are: "This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea..."
This implication from that seems to be that if you date a woman with bipolar disorder, she will eventually try to harm either you or herself. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I've had a lot of people give me the unsolicited advice to never date someone with a mental illness. It pisses me of for reasons that I won't get into other than to say that I am not entirely a detatched observer when it comes to this issue.
posted by asnider at 2:47 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Are we really arguing that dating people with bipolar disorder is a good idea? Because it's not. It's a horrible idea. Why pretend the contrary?
posted by xmutex at 2:49 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by xmutex at 2:49 PM on August 17, 2011
violet outburst
oh that's just a typo? I was wondering what on earth..
Synesthesia.
posted by nzero at 2:50 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
oh that's just a typo? I was wondering what on earth..
Synesthesia.
posted by nzero at 2:50 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
This is a story of why trying to be funny when relaying an anecdote on the internet is a bad idea...
posted by Hoopo at 2:51 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Hoopo at 2:51 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Are we really arguing that dating people with bipolar disorder is a good idea? Because it's not. It's a horrible idea. Why pretend the contrary?
Because making an absolutist statement like that is inaccurate. It can be a bed idea in a range of circumstances but it isn't universally one. Plenty of people being treated for bipolar disorders make perfectly fine partners.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:51 PM on August 17, 2011
Because making an absolutist statement like that is inaccurate. It can be a bed idea in a range of circumstances but it isn't universally one. Plenty of people being treated for bipolar disorders make perfectly fine partners.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:51 PM on August 17, 2011
Why pretend the contrary?
Because what you just stated as though it is a universally agreed upon statement of fact is, in fact, an opinion that many do not share. Bipolar disorder is generally treatable, and people with mental illness need love too. They're not all going to whip out knives. Most won't, in fact.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:52 PM on August 17, 2011
Because what you just stated as though it is a universally agreed upon statement of fact is, in fact, an opinion that many do not share. Bipolar disorder is generally treatable, and people with mental illness need love too. They're not all going to whip out knives. Most won't, in fact.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:52 PM on August 17, 2011
Are we really arguing that dating people with bipolar disorder is a good idea? Because it's not. It's a horrible idea. Why pretend the contrary?
As long as they are actually taking care of their health and treating their condition, I fail to see how it is any different from dating someone with, say, diabetes.
posted by asnider at 2:52 PM on August 17, 2011
As long as they are actually taking care of their health and treating their condition, I fail to see how it is any different from dating someone with, say, diabetes.
posted by asnider at 2:52 PM on August 17, 2011
I am sure this is true, but it is worth noting that people with mental illness are far more often the victims of violent crime than the causes of it.
"According to the findings of the majority of studies in this area, compared to rates expected in the community, BPD is over-represented in prison populations."
posted by Threeway Handshake at 2:53 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
"According to the findings of the majority of studies in this area, compared to rates expected in the community, BPD is over-represented in prison populations."
posted by Threeway Handshake at 2:53 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
2bucksplus:The Domino's by me is owned by a Japanese family and operates on a higher than average standard of excellence. Draw from this whatever conclusions you will. It's great fun seeing Hiroto make the pizza, and then Hayate make the delivery. Hayate, the scion of the pizza family, makes his deliveries in a Scion.
It would be a display of gargantuan restraint to keep from calling him Hiro Protagonist.
posted by dr_dank at 2:53 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
It would be a display of gargantuan restraint to keep from calling him Hiro Protagonist.
posted by dr_dank at 2:53 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
and found out they were bipolar/schizophrenic
Conflating these two distinct mental illnesses is like saying that being run over by a toddler on their Big Wheel is just like being run over by the Tour de France.
posted by elizardbits at 2:54 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Conflating these two distinct mental illnesses is like saying that being run over by a toddler on their Big Wheel is just like being run over by the Tour de France.
posted by elizardbits at 2:54 PM on August 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
BPD is over-represented in prison populations.
I think that says more about the American mental health system than it does about people with BPD.
posted by muddgirl at 2:54 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
I think that says more about the American mental health system than it does about people with BPD.
posted by muddgirl at 2:54 PM on August 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Or that prison makes you crazy.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:55 PM on August 17, 2011
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:55 PM on August 17, 2011
« Older Miami knows how to party. | Why David Starkey is a racist Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
I'm trying a Domino's pizza this weekend. There's one by my house, and I've been shunning it. No more.
posted by spinifex23 at 1:51 PM on August 17, 2011