Monsters of Grok
August 31, 2011 10:33 AM   Subscribe

Monsters of Grok. Fake band t-shirts for history's greatest minds.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (127 comments total) 57 users marked this as a favorite

 
(via projects)
posted by cashman at 10:36 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


The IFC has (real) t-shirts for directors in this vein.
posted by griphus at 10:36 AM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


Make one for Christiaan Huygens and you got yourself a sale.
posted by nathancaswell at 10:37 AM on August 31, 2011


I love you, Amorphia. I own this shirt in brown and this one in blue. They're some of my favorite shirts. Great design, high quality fabric, most durable screenprint I've ever owned. I think it's time to get another one.

/shill
posted by Plutor at 10:38 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


Pretty sure it's gonna be the Van Allen one. Perfect.
posted by Plutor at 10:39 AM on August 31, 2011


I loled at "Van Allen".
posted by DU at 10:39 AM on August 31, 2011


Wow, front page! Thanks much guys.
posted by Jezztek at 10:41 AM on August 31, 2011 [5 favorites]


Surely Hawking would be better served with Hawkwind than Wu-Tang?
posted by Sys Rq at 10:42 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


The IFC has (real) t-shirts for directors in this vein.

These t-shirts are real too, right? There's a missing hyphen is all. It ought to be fake-band t-shirts, yes?
posted by Bookhouse at 10:43 AM on August 31, 2011


HAIL SAGAN!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 10:46 AM on August 31, 2011 [15 favorites]


Who's the Feynman one riffing on?
posted by echo target at 10:46 AM on August 31, 2011


Ok, the Tesla / Edison one is pretty hilarious. Even has the names on the correct sides of the bolt. Definitely want.
posted by mysterpigg at 10:47 AM on August 31, 2011 [17 favorites]


No Schopenhauer?
posted by the dief at 10:47 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


These are lots of fun! I also like the IFC versions. More! And maybe with Britpop, which had some good logos! Yeah!
posted by Admiral Haddock at 10:50 AM on August 31, 2011


Who's the Feynman one riffing on?

Foreigner.
posted by penduluum at 10:50 AM on August 31, 2011


Bookhouse - Yeah, exactly. I'm not the goodest at grammar.
Echo target - Feynman is is the style of foreigner. /beat on preview

I'll keep track the requests and add them to my "big list o' requests" tomorrow.
posted by Jezztek at 10:56 AM on August 31, 2011


When I was much younger, I got a Theory of Relativity Universal Tour t-shirt, which is still extant and also falling apart just like a real band shirt. These would be perfect (sob) replacement shirts.
posted by cobaltnine at 10:56 AM on August 31, 2011


These are great, but I really only know about half of the original band logos. Could someone provide a guide? The Ben Franklin one is really bothering me, as I've seen that logo before, but can't remember where.
posted by Hactar at 10:57 AM on August 31, 2011


I want the Sagan tshirt in billyuns and billyuns of ways.

On preview: Hactar -- it's Black Flag.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:58 AM on August 31, 2011


If you click on the links, they say what band each shirt is 'in the style of.'
posted by cobaltnine at 10:59 AM on August 31, 2011


If you click on them you can see the individual bands but this might be faster:

Misfits, Boston, Daft Punk, Slayer, Poison, Wu-Tang Clan, Iron Maiden, Husker Du, Judas Priest, The Cramps, AC DC, Metallica, Van Halen, The Beatles, The Doors, Black Flag, The Cure, Megadeth, Foreigner, Ratt, Rammstein.
posted by griphus at 11:00 AM on August 31, 2011


Tesla and Edison together? Neither one of them would be happy about that.
posted by doctor_negative at 11:00 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


(I had to look up Boston, Daft Punk, Husker Du, Megadeth, Foreigner, Ratt and Rammstein. Hi, my name is griphus and I used to run a band t-shirt store.)
posted by griphus at 11:01 AM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


I just wasted waay too much time clicking on all the sites. The tea party ones made me chuckle, and I'm trying to figure out which hirsute shirt to get.

Jezztek, are they all your designs? Seriously great!

I don't suppose you'd do a Suzanne Collins hirsute one, would you? Or (don't hate me) J.K. Rowling? No? OK then...
posted by widdershins at 11:03 AM on August 31, 2011


(Also, yeah, great fucking job Jezztek.)
posted by griphus at 11:05 AM on August 31, 2011


Tesla and Edison together? Neither one of them would be happy about that.

I guess that's why it's not based on the Turtles' logo.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:05 AM on August 31, 2011 [5 favorites]


♫ For those about to GROK, we salute you! ♫
posted by blue_beetle at 11:06 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


There goes THIS week's paycheck.
posted by nevercalm at 11:09 AM on August 31, 2011


Widdershins - J.K. Rowling is tempting, because the JK will work as a good solid hint and I'm looking to expand the number of women represented. The downside is I've decided to stop doing still living people unless I can get their express permission. But I'll see what I can do, I've gotten other people to give me the go ahead, so all hope is not lost.

griphus - Thanks much!
posted by Jezztek at 11:11 AM on August 31, 2011


I'm looking to expand the number of women represented.

Anais NIN.
posted by griphus at 11:12 AM on August 31, 2011 [13 favorites]


Wittgenstein one, definitely going to be purchased soon.

Gah, I wish there was Franz Kafka. Maybe based on this Linkin Park t-shirt? this is an endorsement of Kafka, not Linkin Park
posted by Chipmazing at 11:13 AM on August 31, 2011


These are fun; requesting Galileo and Newton.
posted by Brocktoon at 11:14 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Franz Ferdinand's logo might work better for Kafka. It already has the Franz in it! 50% less work!
posted by griphus at 11:15 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


I will pre-order an Anais NIN shirt. Yes please.
posted by Babblesort at 11:15 AM on August 31, 2011 [6 favorites]


Adorno (with a backwards D, natch)
posted by cashman at 11:15 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


Or a backwards R...since I'm too dumb to be all that observant
posted by cashman at 11:17 AM on August 31, 2011


Franz Ferdinand is a way better idea, griphus!
posted by Chipmazing at 11:20 AM on August 31, 2011


On preview: Hactar -- it's Black Flag.

Damn!
posted by Beardman at 11:27 AM on August 31, 2011


I was going to suggest Lysenko, but I'm so sick of people telling me my scientist sucks.
posted by Kabanos at 11:27 AM on August 31, 2011 [6 favorites]


Kant would also work nicely in the Korn font.
posted by Beardman at 11:30 AM on August 31, 2011 [9 favorites]


Lise Meinter and Margaret Sanger might be a couple of good additions.
posted by never used baby shoes at 11:31 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Nietzsche would look fetching with the Nirvana happy face.
posted by Beardman at 11:33 AM on August 31, 2011 [9 favorites]


griphus - Oh, Anais Nin! Are you thinking that as a Hirsute History design, or one of these (riffing off Nine Inch Nails)? because I think she'd make a great addition to Hirsute History.

Like I mentioned above I'd like to have more women represented but it can be especially tough for that lineup because women have a few things going against them for that series. Most obviously they have been unfairly underrepresented in history, giving me a smaller pool of recognizable figures to work from. But beyond that to make a design work it needs to be recognizable (at least to my target audience) and the only to clues are the person's first name and their arrangement of hair.

Unfortunately women have significantly less variance in their hair compared to men. The men can have long hair, short hair, partially bald, totally bald and anything in between, then comes the facial hair they might have a mustache, a beard, mutton chops and so forth. Between those options it isn't too hard to find a semi-recognizable combination. For women (especially in the past) they mostly had just longer hair (with the only two options being do they keep it up, or down), and zero facial hair options, which means it is much harder to create a recognizable woman using just that style.

Because of that first name is a much more important factor to making a design representing a woman recognizable, since the image can't do as much heavy lifting. So anyone named "Mary" needs a really recognizable hair style to work, but JK (Rowlings) or Anais (Nin) can work much better even if their hair alone might not be famous.
posted by Jezztek at 11:35 AM on August 31, 2011


How about Thoreau in the style of The Who's Maximum R&B logo:
'Tho' on the first line, 'reau' on the second, with the 'h' extending down to the 'r', and an arrow rising from the 'u'.
If I has skills I'd draw it out.
posted by rocket88 at 11:38 AM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


This needs to have an Ada Lovelace shirt so that I can give you all my monies.
posted by specialagentwebb at 11:41 AM on August 31, 2011 [5 favorites]


Are you thinking that as a Hirsute History design, or one of these (riffing off Nine Inch Nails)?

I was totally thinking of the latter actually: the NIИ logo with her first name in some appropriate font thrown on top of it.
posted by griphus at 11:45 AM on August 31, 2011


Marie Curie. I'm not sure what band to pick (dayglo/glow-in-the-dark preferred!), but she's a highly recognizable woman scientist.
posted by Xoder at 11:45 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh hey. I hadn't been to Amorphia in a while. The Tea Party shirts are great!
posted by eyeballkid at 11:46 AM on August 31, 2011


I am spending some cash. Right the eff now.
Thank you for this link.
posted by DigDoug at 11:46 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Kant would also work nicely in the Korn font.

Or this.
posted by cashman at 11:47 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Marie Curie. I'm not sure what band to pick

Marie Curie is already in there.
posted by cashman at 11:48 AM on August 31, 2011


If only I could think of a band for Grace Hopper...
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 11:53 AM on August 31, 2011


Yeah, Grace Hopper and Ada Lovelace were both on my shortlist (and I have them both on my other site) but couldn't work out a good band for either of them.
posted by Jezztek at 11:56 AM on August 31, 2011


I think this new site is great. I am actually wearing this shirt today here at work (being a professor rules). My favorite of all of his shirts is this one (since he designed it based on my submitted idea). Great job Jezztek. It should also be mentioned that he got the title via AskMe.
posted by bove at 11:58 AM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


These are great. Also, Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space.
posted by exogenous at 11:59 AM on August 31, 2011


OMG OMG OMG I want this one and this one and that one and...

Oh. Only up to 2XL. Another blown sale.

FAT GUYS HAVE MONEY TOO YOU KNOW.
posted by davelog at 12:01 PM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


bove - Good call, just a shout out to Monsieur Caution for thinking up the title via an AskMe thread.
posted by Jezztek at 12:02 PM on August 31, 2011


Lovelace could work in this Kraftwerk font although that's not terribly recognizable. Or better yet this Ladytron logo.

Also: the CBGB and Sex Pistols logos are just dying to be parodied.
posted by griphus at 12:05 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


davelog - We in fact do sell some large sized shirts (for ample gentlemen such as myself). All you need to do is fire up our customizer and you can pick from 3XL, 3XLT and 4XL styles. Just hit the "Customize A Shirt" button from the product page you were looking to buy, that will load up the flash designer which will give you access to more stuff.

In this case it can be a bit confusing as the customizer will have the larger shirts as their own separate products, and I'm afraid you'll have to dig through the apparel options to find them.
posted by Jezztek at 12:05 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


These are fantastic, and it's only my temporary indebtedness (and huge jealousy at how cool these are) that's keeping me from buying. But soon.

(I was trying to come up with a band which you could use the super-plain Oasis logo for, but better yet, you need two shirts: One that says "arial" which is typeset in helvetica, and one that says "helvetica" which is typeset in arial.)
posted by maxwelton at 12:14 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


What about Alan Turing?
posted by Mudah at 12:14 PM on August 31, 2011


Grace Hopper should be done in the style of Bolt Thrower, of course.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:20 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


I actually spent more time on an Alan Turing / Anthrax shirt than any of the others, but then decided I didn't really like it. But I know I can sometimes be capricious about my work, so I guess I'll just ask what you think: Alan Turing / Anthrax Picture
posted by Jezztek at 12:22 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


Jezztek - a few more suggestions if you're looking for women to add to the hirsute page:
- Betty Page? Very recognizable hairstyle + first name and an iconic character
- Ayn Rand? No idea what her hair looks like but you certainly have the first name recognition
- Rosie the riveter?

Really like the shirts and the site - have bookmarked it so I can keep an eye on upcoming designs.
posted by widdershins at 12:22 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


All these shirt -- not just the Monsters of Grok -- are fucking brilliant. Plus the site (and customizer!) is very well done.
posted by slogger at 12:22 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


If only I could think of a band for Grace Hopper...

Bob Seger
posted by zamboni at 12:23 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Great work, Jezztek! I'll be ordering one (or three).
posted by defenestration at 12:30 PM on August 31, 2011


The angling on the Turing one is too severe. If you take a look at this version, the letters all line up, and just extend out in straight lines. If you make the angles on ALAN a little less extreme, especially on the N, and get the A to hits the T and R bars, it should look better/closer to the original.
posted by griphus at 12:30 PM on August 31, 2011


There's a line of evangelical Christian T-Shirts that does the same thing with band logos (I know the kid in the documentary Country Boys wore one that parodied Marilyn Manson), but for the life of me, I can't find a link to any examples.

Anyhow, at least both sides of the Culture War can riff on band logos now. Thanks!
posted by Rykey at 12:31 PM on August 31, 2011


FAT GUYS HAVE MONEY TOO YOU KNOW.

Yep. And I did what he said and have 3 on the way! Thanks Jezz (and Dave for making it so I could find that stuff!)
posted by DigDoug at 12:34 PM on August 31, 2011


Anais Nin as Nine Inch Nails please.

fucking pullllllleeeeeeeeeeeze
posted by victors at 12:40 PM on August 31, 2011


I actually spent more time on an Alan Turing / Anthrax shirt than any of the others, but then decided I didn't really like it. But I know I can sometimes be capricious about my work, so I guess I'll just ask what you think: Alan Turing / Anthrax Picture

Eh. You could just reuse Iron Maiden. Alternatively, is Thin Lizzy sufficiently iconic? Or maybe Allman Brothers.
posted by zamboni at 12:41 PM on August 31, 2011


Other good female candidates for inclusion who I think have marquee value:
Hannah Arendt, Emma Goldman, and Mary Wollstonecraft.
posted by safetyfork at 12:41 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also, this is awesome.
posted by safetyfork at 12:42 PM on August 31, 2011


> In this case it can be a bit confusing as the customizer will have the larger shirts as their own separate products, and I'm afraid you'll have to dig through the apparel options to find them.

You da man, Jezztek. Look for my order tonight when I get home. Thanks!
posted by davelog at 12:47 PM on August 31, 2011


"Nikolaus Otto" would look great in a Motorhead font...
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:50 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


That's it. I'm re-naming the band "Fucking Pterodactyls".
 
posted by Herodios at 12:54 PM on August 31, 2011


@NathanCaswell:

I doodled Huygens on a stenopad in the manner of the Anthrax logo. I'd scan it in but I want to remain employed. \m/
posted by Renoroc at 1:01 PM on August 31, 2011


What about Buckminster Fuller?
posted by annsunny at 1:08 PM on August 31, 2011


Given the originator of the word "Grok", I am surprised there is no Robert Anson Heinlein.

I submit this R.E.M logo as potential source material.
posted by rocketpup at 1:10 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


Jezztek: ...I've gotten other people to give me the go ahead...

Would that be Neil Gaiman? I bet he loved it!
posted by widdershins at 1:12 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hello birthday gifts for the next few months. The Curie and Tesla/Edison shirts are particularly inspired, and I'd pay any amount of money to sit Ben Franklin and Henry Rollins down for dinner and conversation.

(I also really appreciate the fact that you can get the Hirsute History shirts without the names underneath.)
posted by Spatch at 1:16 PM on August 31, 2011


I liked Rock of Sages better.
posted by euphorb at 1:32 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Tesla and Edison together? Neither one of them would be happy about that.

There are some visual puns that supersede the objections of dead people.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:33 PM on August 31, 2011


Don Knuth / Dead Kennedys.

Pink Floyd / Sigmund Freud?

Lao Tzu / The Who?

Kuhn O)))) ?

posted by nebulawindphone at 1:36 PM on August 31, 2011 [4 favorites]


Would Audrey work for Hirsute History? I'm thinking of the Holly Golightly hairstyle...
posted by nickmark at 1:37 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


The Black Flag / Ben Franklin one really got me. Good stuff!
posted by EasilyOdd at 2:00 PM on August 31, 2011


Don Knuth / Dead Kennedys.

Quadruple nerd points if the DK is in Computer Modern.
posted by zamboni at 3:06 PM on August 31, 2011 [3 favorites]


relevant to your interests
posted by jeffburdges at 4:23 PM on August 31, 2011


Neil DeGrasse Tyson / Napalm Death?
posted by Spatch at 4:51 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


deGrasse. deGrasse. I was not confusing him with Degrassi Junior High. Of course not.
posted by Spatch at 4:53 PM on August 31, 2011


I made this (warning: crummy cellphone pic). Kind of surprised they didn't have that one.
posted by mhum at 9:12 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Don Knuth / Dead Kennedys

Jezztek, I will give you a bajillion dollars (well, €20 + S&H) if you do this. Please do this.
posted by cmonkey at 9:13 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Another suggestion via Ms. baby shoes - Diane Fossey.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:34 PM on August 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


er, Dian, that is.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:35 PM on August 31, 2011


I'm having a hard time not buying that Duchamp shirt.
posted by smartypantz at 9:54 PM on August 31, 2011


Hmmm. Margaret Mead / Marilyn Manson?
posted by Sys Rq at 10:03 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


Ayn Rand/Rush

Schopenhauer/Slipknot

Willard Van Orman Quine/Queen

Maimonides/Mastodon

Socrates/Sepultura

Plato/Prong

Bertrand Russell...... Hmmm.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:49 PM on August 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


The Watt one is cracking me up. I can't decide which one I want, I keep going round and round...

I'm sorry.
posted by xedrik at 11:06 PM on August 31, 2011


Surely Hawking would be better served with Hawkwind than Wu-Tang?

Maybe so, maybe not.
posted by eric1halfb at 12:39 AM on September 1, 2011


Man, so many great suggestions! Thanks much, everyone.
posted by Jezztek at 12:50 AM on September 1, 2011


Trying to make Clerk Maxwell fit the Harley Davidson logo here... with Motor Cycles replaced with Photon Cycles.

Failing.
posted by Devonian at 2:05 AM on September 1, 2011


Could Ada [Lovelace] be done like the ABBA logo in gold lightbulbs, or with her face under a white panama hat?
posted by wenestvedt at 7:03 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Or Thomas Paine done as T-Paine?
posted by wenestvedt at 7:07 AM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


Do up ADA (Lovelace) in the style of NWA.
Straight Outta Computation.
posted by rocket88 at 7:38 AM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hey Jezztek, you got boingboing'd.
posted by griphus at 8:02 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Soundgarden/Schopenhauer?

Schoperunknown??

Badschoperfinger???
posted by Turkey Glue at 8:14 AM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


griphus you had to look up Foreigner? (wonders if my teenage years were just to far back in prehistory?)
posted by infini at 8:31 AM on September 1, 2011


I did! I never really listened to them and we didn't carry their t-shirts or order from anyoen who carried their t-shirts. It was the only design I had never actually seen before, the other ones I just couldn't recall.
posted by griphus at 8:37 AM on September 1, 2011


Jane Goodall/Grateful Dead? (just replace the human skull with a chimp skull!)
posted by ChuraChura at 8:39 AM on September 1, 2011 [3 favorites]


You're forgiven.

(I just looked you up and I was *cough* remember this trip to Japan that year )
posted by infini at 8:42 AM on September 1, 2011


If I may nitpick, I think the Van Allen one should use the later Van Halen logo, from the "For Unlawful..." era - the "wings" look more like they're encircling a planet, much like...the Van Allen belt.

Awesome all around, though.
posted by notsnot at 10:19 AM on September 1, 2011


Hey Jezztek, you got boingboing'd.

And kottke'd, too.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:32 AM on September 1, 2011


He noticed.
posted by Plutor at 12:24 PM on September 1, 2011


Anais NIN.

Oh. Oh please. Yes.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:36 PM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


These are brilliant.
posted by homunculus at 4:04 PM on September 1, 2011


I love that for the hirsute thing you include Rosalind, not Crick. Kudos.
posted by ifjuly at 7:45 AM on September 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


Anais NIN would presumably involve using the Nine Inch Nails logo in its whole, original form. That seems pretty iffy, legally speaking.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:49 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


These are awesome. On one hand I wish I'd seen these before today since I think they'd have made excellent birthday gifts for my boyfriend. On the other hand, I may be biased into thinking it would be a great present idea because we are basically the same t-shirt size.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:27 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


I adore these. My requests - Ada Lovelace, Rosalind Franklin, Barbara McClintock. In the meantime, I have to decide which of the current batch is my favorite... oh, what a quandary.
posted by polymath at 10:38 AM on September 2, 2011


I've been making suggestions in the wrong thread, apparently.

Requests:
Fibonacci / Fleetwood Mac
Ramanujan / Aerosmith

Suggestions:
Cantor / Chicago
Leonhard Euler / Lynyrd Skynyrd
Zeno / ZZ Top
Euclid / The Clash
Godel / Godsmack
Pythagoras / Pink Floyd (or maybe Poincare / Pink Floyd)
Leibniz / Led Zeppelin (not sure that can be made to work)
posted by BurnChao at 12:43 AM on September 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is so great.

But ... no Styx? Such a recognizable logo.

Spinoza? (kinda long ...) Swift? (Adam) Smith?

Wonderful stuff. Personally, I like these even better than the Teach the Controversy shirts - these are celebratory.

Thanks!
posted by kristi at 8:34 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


I got my Sagan t-shirt today! Yay! It rawks.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:25 PM on September 7, 2011


got my boatload o' tees for both me and my husband today! yayayay. his are an anniversary present...now he can wear his ac/dc underwear with the tesla/edison shirt and be the nerdiest boyish most over the top dude. we're gonna be the coolest kids on the block, thanks!
posted by ifjuly at 10:28 AM on September 9, 2011


Poster series explaining complex philosophical theories through basic shapes
posted by homunculus at 1:44 PM on September 12, 2011


Poster series explaining complex philosophical theories through basic shapes

Hedonism: A pink triangle. Lovely.
Atheism: An upside-down cross. Nice.

Go fuck yourself, person who made those.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:48 PM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Got my Duchamp shirt today - I'm giddy with geekiness!
posted by smartypantz at 12:14 PM on September 30, 2011


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