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Markov Bible
September 1, 2011 9:23 PM   Subscribe


 


and unto Philadelphia, and unto Laodicea.
And in the midst of the seven candlesticks, write the things which thou hast seen when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead.

(hmm, thiers are better)
posted by clavdivs at 9:40 PM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Limit the input to just Revelation, and you'd have ... wait for it ... Markov the Beast
posted by smcameron at 9:43 PM on September 1, 2011 [64 favorites]


infected with the ezekiel-212 strain.
reconfigure.
posted by clavdivs at 9:53 PM on September 1, 2011


MetaFilter: Yea, ye yourselves have seen the chastisement of a man, according to the half tribe of Issachar.
posted by not_on_display at 9:54 PM on September 1, 2011


And the five loaves of bread; which thou hadst consumed it: whereas now thou do six days. And these shall pitch their tents.

So... aroused by bread?
posted by eyeballkid at 9:59 PM on September 1, 2011


My favorite: "LORD yet again."

Anyway, someone should make a Markov Finnegans Wake.
posted by Flunkie at 10:13 PM on September 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


I mean, someone other than James Joyce.
posted by Flunkie at 10:13 PM on September 1, 2011 [22 favorites]


I'm pretty sure Chronicles comes pre-Markov'd.
posted by Rhaomi at 10:38 PM on September 1, 2011


Cor-tex! Have you been Markov-chaining again?
posted by zippy at 10:55 PM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]




What a great link. I love how you don't explain what a markov chain is so all of us uneducated louts have to go check wikipedia ourselves!
posted by GoingToShopping at 11:23 PM on September 1, 2011


...all of us uneducated louts have to go check wikipedia ourselves!

It's all fun and games until someone has to check wikipedia...
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 11:29 PM on September 1, 2011 [8 favorites]


He's not the Messiah, he's a Markovian generator!
posted by arcticseal at 1:37 AM on September 2, 2011


According to the Messiah, he's all of a man, according to the half tribe of Finnegans Wake... It's all of us uneducated louts have seen the check wikipedia ourselves until someone other than James so all fun and games Joyce.

What

The What ended the chain, I inserted the line breaks for appropriate Metafilterness
posted by PapaLobo at 3:55 AM on September 2, 2011


markov_bible: LORD yet again
posted by Jpfed at 4:12 AM on September 2, 2011


This would be more impressive if it sorted a bit more: you end up with phrases dumped together from old and new testaments this way, which makes things a lot more nonsensical. If you sorted into subgroups, too, like narratives, rules, psalms, prophets, epistles, etc., you could get it doing something maybe more than just random silliness.
posted by rikschell at 4:48 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]




And St. Attila raised his hand grenade up on high saying "O Lord bless
this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to
tiny bits, in thy mercy" and the Lord did grin and people did feast
upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and
breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...
posted by kcds at 5:34 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


And nobody's posted Andrew Plotkin's Fun with Markov Chains yet? For shame!

The Revelation of Saint Alice has been my go-to source for inexplicable sig quotes for years.

" `Well, "OUTGRIBING" is something between bellowing and
whistling, with a
rod of iron: and her sister, who was sitting sulkily among the
sheep, and gave her not to Jacob either good or bad."

posted by McCoy Pauley at 5:39 AM on September 2, 2011


If you sorted into subgroups, too, like narratives, rules, psalms, prophets, epistles, etc., you could get it doing something maybe more than just random silliness.

Alas, if you did that it would no longer be a Markov chain, because it wouldn't be stateless.
posted by localroger at 5:42 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


My understanding of the Bible is that the transition probabilities to the Heaven state and the Hell state are equal, modulo a belief in Jesus. Markov himself, by his own request, was excommunicated from the Church, so maybe he had a better understanding of these transition probabilities.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:59 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


Knowest thou not poured upon the face of a mediator. Now therefore.

This is sort of an accurate depiction of 2/3 of all MeTa posts.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:01 AM on September 2, 2011


Alice was beginning to write
out a history of all flesh, as God hath judged me, and I will tell you my adventures--beginning from this my oath, when thou
fleddest from the engine, and everybody jumped
up in alarm,
For the Baker had met with again!'


This reads a lot like John Ashbery.
posted by escabeche at 6:16 AM on September 2, 2011


This is a complete self-link, but cobe is there for you if you want a fast Markov text generator with on-disk storage.

It follows a similar strategy to the venerable old MegaHAL, generating as many random replies as it can in a time slice (0.5s) and scoring them for maximum surprise. I'm doing some work now to explore other scoring methods, and it's looking pretty awesome.

Cobe is language independent by default, but it also has support for using a Snowball stemmer when deciding which input word to reply to. This has been an awesome feature in a chatbot.
posted by (parenthetic me) at 6:30 AM on September 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


Come in unto.
posted by Joe Chip at 7:29 AM on September 2, 2011


Years back I wrote a Supercard program that took a large text block and then did the Markov stuff and then generated text. It was fun to mix King James and anything else to get a Markov mash-up, "Fanny Hill" and anything else is quite interesting.
posted by njohnson23 at 7:47 AM on September 2, 2011


Alas, if you did that it would no longer be a Markov chain, because it wouldn't be stateless.

I think the suggestion is to do standard Markov chains, but with more restricted input. Rather than feeding in all of KJV, feed in only the epistles, and Markov up some epistly goodness. Separately, feed in only the prophets, and Markov up some prophetic goodness. Etc. No state required, just several different instances.
posted by stebulus at 8:18 AM on September 2, 2011


MegaHAL was my favorite chatbot of all time. If the classic conversations don't make you laugh, you should already be dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead.
posted by Wolfdog at 8:40 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


I think the suggestion is to do standard Markov chains, but with more restricted input. Rather than feeding in all of KJV, feed in only the epistles, and Markov up some epistly goodness. Separately, feed in only the prophets, and Markov up some prophetic goodness. Etc. No state required, just several different instances.

That's my interpretation too. I mean, we call it "the Bible", which means "the book", but it's not a "book" in the sense that one person sat down and wrote a thousand pages within a decade or so. It's more like a small library. To expect reasonable-sounding output under Markov would be like expecting that you could just take all the comments on Metafilter and run them through a Markov chain and get a simulated ur-Mefite.
posted by madcaptenor at 9:01 AM on September 2, 2011


Yeah, doing style-oriented partitioning of input to create more consistently-flavored output would make sense. Just Psalms in = better Psalmkov output.

You could also keep the individual generation steps to a traditional stateless markov process but use context-specific formatting on the output form various requests to dress it up a bit after the fact to really sell the look of the output while sticking to traditional incoherence. Throwing chapter and verse superscripts into the output and red-lettering quotes would be a great way to dress up some nonsense gospels a bit, say.
posted by cortex at 9:07 AM on September 2, 2011


So if you run this thread through Mark V. Shaney and score for maximum surprise, you get:

Markov himself, by his own request, was excommunicated from the engine, and everybody jumped up in alarm, For the Baker had met with again!' This reads a lot like John Ashbery.

It follows a similar strategy to the half tribe of Finnegans Wake...

Rather than feeding in all of us uneducated louts have seen the chastisement of a mediator.

I mean, we call it "the Bible", which means "the book", but it's not a "book" in the midst of the seven candlesticks, write the things which thou hadst consumed it: whereas now thou do six days.

This has been an awesome feature in a time slice (0.5s) and scoring them for maximum surprise.

According to the Messiah, he's all of KJV, feed in only the epistles, and Markov up some prophetic goodness.
posted by madcaptenor at 9:10 AM on September 2, 2011


Chapter and verse superscripts are easy enough, just learn them along with the rest of the text. Then you can feed them in as input to get specific nonsense verses. Here are the first few verses of Genekov:

1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth were finished, and all my father's house, unto a land that is not their's, and shall hang thee on a tree; and pilled white strakes in them, and took the knife to slay his son.

1:2 And the earth was filled with violence through them; and, behold, Joseph was not in the pit; and he counted it to him for righteousness.

1:3 And God said unto Jacob, Return unto the land from whence thou camest?

1:4 And God saw that it was pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden?

1:5 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the Spirit of God moved upon the earth an hundred and seven and twenty years, and begat Salah:

1:6 And God said, Let us not kill him.

1:7 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which he had got in the land of Seir.

1:8 And God called the dry land appear: and it was so.

1:9 And God said unto them the third day, This do ye;

1:10 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the sons of Bashemath Esau's wife.
posted by (parenthetic me) at 10:31 AM on September 2, 2011 [3 favorites]


Trained on this file, for those playing along at home: http://pastebin.com/uv1Pj6N7
posted by (parenthetic me) at 10:37 AM on September 2, 2011


Ha! Excellent thinking.
posted by cortex at 10:40 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wolfdog: "MegaHAL was my favorite chatbot of all time. If the classic conversations don't make you laugh, you should already be dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead."

I'll say! And one is highly relevant:

TRENT REZNOR, MILLA JOVOVICH, BRYAN FERRY, DR.KIERSEY, GAVIN FRIDAY, DANIEL KEYS MORAN, ELFQUEST, THE KING JAMES BIBLE... THESE ARE SOME THINGS THAT ARE LONG AND METALLIC
posted by vanar sena at 11:14 AM on September 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


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