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September 6, 2011 10:48 AM   Subscribe

Does Juanita Bynum type in tounges on her facebook page?
posted by Xurando (32 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: I kind of feel like this is not a post where the notional question is one anybody here is actually holding out for an answer on. Feels a bit like gawking for gawking's sake. -- cortex



 
No.
posted by Windigo at 10:50 AM on September 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I would pay good money to see the Cocteau Twins set that series of Facebook statuses to music.
posted by jbickers at 10:52 AM on September 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Evangelicals gonna evangelize.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:53 AM on September 6, 2011


"God did not tell her to type in tongues...I think every sane/spiritual person knows this to be true. I'm really not understanding why this is not Gospel news...an explanation/interpretation should really be made in order for the confusion and ruckus to cease. I'm appalled that people are really backing this )))blasphemy((( up with scriptures and praise. Dr. Bynum...I think you should defend yourself. If the spirit fell so hard that you lost control of your typing, just say so. Too many people are being led astray and fed false teaching/doctrine in a time when a pure and sincere relationship with our heavenly Father is necessary...and I am saddened by these posts. That's why you have to know GOD for yourself and study HIS WORD. Again, Dr. Bynum RETORT!!"
posted by Xurando at 10:53 AM on September 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


This will shahsdshsdfjhskdjfhsdjkfhskj well.
posted by munchingzombie at 10:53 AM on September 6, 2011


Shouldn't that be "type in fingers"?
posted by DU at 10:54 AM on September 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


Oh dear.
posted by bz at 11:03 AM on September 6, 2011


"Tounge" is one of my favorite typos. I keep thinking it's some kind of furniture concept from the seventies. "Living room too small for a full-sized sofa? Try the new tounge!" But on topic - could this be a hoax? Remember Snow Crash? Hiro's love interest (who's carrying out a study of the origin of glossolalia) was named Juanita. COINCIDENCE?
posted by zomg at 11:07 AM on September 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
posted by Xoebe at 11:07 AM on September 6, 2011


Acts 2:1-6
And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.


Guys, this means suddenly like, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO START RANDOMLY TALKING IN SAY, FRENCH, FOR EXAMPLE, not in non-speak. You're doing it wrong.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 11:08 AM on September 6, 2011 [5 favorites]


I'm all for religious tolerance and open-mindedness, but that shit is just fucking stupid.
posted by facetious at 11:08 AM on September 6, 2011


I wish I had enough hands to facepalm adequately.
posted by cmoj at 11:08 AM on September 6, 2011


So... if you were quadriplegic and reduced to communicating by typing in characters one by one, say with your tongue, you would be unable to communicate the presence of the holy spirit within you by typing?
posted by ennui.bz at 11:08 AM on September 6, 2011


Maybe she just has a cat?
posted by Crane Shot at 11:10 AM on September 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


No. This is not a thing.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:12 AM on September 6, 2011


"Seriously, try it."

"No fucking way. They'll never buy it."

"Then you can backpedal and say your secretary was typing your words verbatim."

"Really?"

"And the ones that do buy it are yours. You could come to their houses and shoot their dogs and they would give you a love offering for it. Either way, your name recognition goes through the roof."

"Okay, you got it. How do you spell NDHDIUBGUGTRUCGNRTUGTIGRTIGRGBNRDRGNGGJNRIC?"
posted by Mooski at 11:15 AM on September 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Guys, this means suddenly like, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO START RANDOMLY TALKING IN SAY, FRENCH, FOR EXAMPLE, not in non-speak. You're doing it wrong.

I grew up in one of these churches for the first twenty years of my life. None of them ever randomly start talking in another language. It's all gibberish.

That and the faked convulsions (which they refer to as 'falling out in the Spirit') are two of the big reasons I was an atheist from a very early age.
posted by winna at 11:17 AM on September 6, 2011


I wish I had enough hands to facepalm adequately.

This is why the seraphim hide their faces with two of their six wings. There is a lot to avoid looking at on earth. Fortunately, they have really good GPS in their cellphones, so there are not too many collisions.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:17 AM on September 6, 2011


Threeway Handshake is right. I would consider joining her church if she started talking in Kx'a or another click language. That would be seriously impressive.
posted by melissam at 11:17 AM on September 6, 2011


"Sorry, cat got on the keyboard. Uh, I mean, REPENT!"
posted by griphus at 11:18 AM on September 6, 2011


Thbbft!
posted by clvrmnky at 11:18 AM on September 6, 2011


Keyboard cat haz religun
posted by filthy light thief at 11:19 AM on September 6, 2011


Or Juanita Bignum for the amount of money she's probably scamming from these people.
posted by DU at 11:19 AM on September 6, 2011


To expand on what Threeway Handshake said, Acts is specific as to some of the languages spoken by the Apostles when the Holy Spirit insta-rosetta stoned them: "Aren’t all these who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? 9 Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!" (Acts 2:7).

So I'm always amused when Pentacostals insist on text. I'm like, ha.
posted by zomg at 11:22 AM on September 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


Gesundheit.
posted by griphus at 11:25 AM on September 6, 2011


Juanita: If you want to credibly simulate typing possessed by the spirit, you might want to mash more than just adjoining keys in the middle of the keyboard.
posted by brain_drain at 11:27 AM on September 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


OK, this is ridiculous for anyone not in the Charismatic/Evangelical community, and it is very easy to point and laugh, but is making fun of the woman's name the best way to comment on this? Really?
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:27 AM on September 6, 2011


The wiki isn't clear (started preaching out of high school), but where'd she get Dr from ?
posted by k5.user at 11:30 AM on September 6, 2011


Acts is specific as to some of the languages spoken by the Apostles when the Holy Spirit insta-rosetta stoned them.

I'm not down with the Pentacostals, but to be fair I think they're looking a lot more towards 1 Corinthians 14, where Paul says that 'anyone who speaks in a tongue does not speak to people but to God. Indeed, no one understands them; they utter mysteries by the Spirit.'
posted by shakespeherian at 11:31 AM on September 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Ah, the mefictionary files have been launched
posted by infini at 11:31 AM on September 6, 2011


I only hope that Jesus will protect her and guide her in her journey amo͢n̴g͜ ͘t̕h͠e ̷ṕu͟lp͜i͠ńǵ fungi th̸at͠ ̛f͝r̛uit҉ a͘lòng ͜t̕he̶ c̡orp̛śe̢s of th̨e b͜a͘bi͜es s̷̡̳̺̭̙͈ǫ͚͖̰̫̳̀͠ͅ ̸̡͙͚̦͕͜m̵̳ͅá̹͍͔̩͙͕̰͔͔͡͠n̵̼̱̱͔͘y̝̠̪̱̼͞ ͔̕b̵̴̩͍̘a̢͏̰̣̣̠̗̞̹͔b̠̳̭̱̫̦͝i̵̝͙͍̗̮̺̦͜e͚ş̖̫̖̤͙͖̤̪ͅ ̴̧͓̩̮̬̘̺̱͢e̴̺̝̺̭͖̰̤̲̝v̧̲̲̭͖e̩̙̘̝̞ŕ͓̯͎̯̘̣͉̪y͙̯̤̼͍̳͢w͓h̨̗͓̣͕͙̖͜e҉̹̥r̵̬̙͓̦̰̣̼̳ę̷̧̣͔̹̠̰̟͈ ̖͖͍̥̣͙̲̘͖b͇̭̻̤a̛͕̻͖̯̗͙̝̥b̢̢̙̺i̷̖̖͚̗̙͕̤̰e̥͕͠ş̷̧͍̲͖̼̣͚̦ ̷̨̠͎͉̫̲͖͍͠f̛̟̟͘͞e̸̩̭t̨͇͍̺͙͠ͅu̥̲͍͇̫͉͢s̰̰̺̀ ̶̣̹͇d͚̰̭̕͠e͕̟͔̗̜̬͉̜a̘̩̥̪͍̼̝d̙̩̙͟ ͏̞͉̤̼͍͔͘͞a̤̼̩͔͈͉̺͈͘͞ļ̵͍ļ̻̮̥͟ ̵̶̝͇͙d̰͘̕ȩ̪̜͍̰a̴̧̼̖͈̥͉̥̲d͓̀͢ ̯̥̲̪̤̳̱̕͞ͅs͏̸̞̭̰o̡̦̲̪̟̻͉͕̳̘ ͖͍̥̣̥̕b̼̙̻͔͙͇e̘̘̞͢ͅa̦̖͙͔̮̤͕̦u̵͉̜̝͙̗̮̮͝t̺̺͍͍̝̬͟͞͝i̸̱̩̘̥̪͕̬͉͘f̢͎̭͎͢ṳ̪͚̬̯̀͘l̛͉̦ ̺͔̤͢o̩̳̘̝̺̼̙ͅh҉̪̰͕͉ ̵̰͈͕ͅg̡̡̺̫̺̯̪o̷̶̮͉̤͖̻͘d͖̘͕͕̙̦̥͢͢ ̷͔͖̝͔ơ̡̼̻̺̖̳̭͡ḩ͜҉͇̬̮͕̮̯ ̱͞g̛̥o̢̳͚̖̠d̮̞̕


õ̹̫̥͓͎̪̰͓̹̹̤̗̘͂ͧͩͅḫ͖̖̜͙̱̖̠̣̬̌ͣ̀̈́̃͑̍ͯ͌̓͋ͅg͙͉̯͎̲͙̬͔̩̬̦̼͗̂ͥ́ͭ͋̇ͅò̲͚̥͈̻̼̥̣̗̺͇͇̯̺̫̤ͤ̐͌̔ͥ̋ͣͅd͍̣̝̻͈̘̙̮̖ͪ͂͗͊͛̊̀̅ͥͣ̃ͦo̱̼̻͈͍͆͛ͧ̃h̫̻̲̱͖̭̬̯̹̯͚̖͕̯̯ͥ̄̀͌ͯǧ̰̰̬̺͓̣͇̬̜͍̬͈̰̠̜̱͓̽̈̂̄͆̇̾o̮̭̦̺͈̙̯͕͓̣̣̓̋ͤ͌d̙̞̮ͣ̾̓͑ͭ́̀ǒ͖̤͍͓̟͕͈͍̪̌ͬ̍̈̀ͯ̾ͭ̍͂̓ͫȟ̙͉͈̳̦͕͕͕̜̼̟̞̳ͪ͊ͫ̾̋͒͒̒͋̊ͫ̂ͅg̣̺̺͇̖̰͓ͣͫ͛̆͂ͥ͗ͪ̆͂̐͛̐͊͆̿ô̫͈͕̬̞̦ͪͩ̚d͕̠̰̖̙͔̞̝͇̦̝͍͕̠̞̦͔̅̀̾̆͌̍̒ͦ̓̇͊͒o̤̘͇͊ͯͧ̉̈́̔ͬ͌̈́ͧ̀̽ͥͣ́̄̚h̬̺͕̹̥̫͖͖̤̟̬̹̯̪͍̯̭͖͙ͯ̓ͫ̊̿ͪͫ̉̽ͥͬ̎̇̉̈̆ͦ̃g̦̯̭͉̻̬͎̞̹͉͖̺͖͉̯̭̤̥̾ͧ͑̽̔͆̂̔ͯͦ͂ͦͥ̋̈ȏ̥͖̳̠̠͕̳̪͎͖͍̗̍̆̅̈́̅̐̌̉̍̽̒d̦̞̭̮̭̔̒̔̃̅̃̃̏̾ͭ̈́̈́o̭̯̳̔͑ͮͪ̈́̆̅̅͛̍ͫ̈́̎͗̓ͬh͕̭̪̓͐ͧ̈́̎̂̒̾̓͋g̺͉̰̣̭̳̮̟̥̺̜͎̺͍̼̮̠̪̭̃̌̆̓̔̄͂̒͌̊̈̌̏ͨ̓ͬ͗ͬo̜̜̤̣̮̟̘̩̻̗̣͓ͪ̊̀ͫ̇͗ͯ̊ͅd̳̣̳͙̳̲̼͚̦͎̱̩͔ͦͥ̌̅̑̔͋ͮͯ̈́o̲͍̥̰͓̦̯̹̽̑̈͋͌̀̏̿̔̐̓̌ͩ̏̏̾ͅh̗̪̗̻͚͖͖͎͈͚̺̎̒͗ͥ̀ͬg͇̰͕̥̩̝̰̭̼̘͈̞̬̭̬ͮ̋ͣ͋ͅo̤̤͎̝͕͊̈́̎̽̿ͧ͌͗̀d͍̘̱̼̥̳̖͍̃͗̆ͪͩͯ̋͆̏͒ͬ̾͂ͫͮ͂͗ͫͦo͈̤͎̖̜̳͚̣̙͚̪͐̔͑̓̎̋̏̐̒̾ͭͨ̓ͯ̈̚ĥ̰͇̙̺̻̼̖̼̤ͥ̓̋͊͋̆͌͛ͯ̆ͤ̔̒͆g͖͚͚̜̜̣̮̏͌̐͛ͥ̚ͅó͚͍͚͔̯̲͎̯͓̼̟͓̘̖̬̗̽͋̾̆ͯ͊͂̉͛̒ḏ͍͈͖̺̻̗̞̘̙̝̪͙͚̫ͫͦ͋̍͋͛̈ͥ̄͒̏̆̎̋ͣ̆͐k̬͚̪͔̾̀̄ͮn͚̜͕̮̫͔͔̻͙͇͇̼̮̤͓̟̼͖̾̅̾̾̽̄͆̑͌̾̄͐̐́o̳̬̰͈̪͓̠̤̤͈̥̯̫̳̬̣̗̯̻ͥͣͮͥ̍ͤ̃̐̓ͧͫͧ͑ͭ͒ͣc͙̠̫̳̮̦̜̯̜̦̹̪̘͙̟̅ͮͭ̀ͮ̆̿ͮ̓ͭ͋͌̈ͭ̂̔͛ḳ͈͚̦̝̼͓̝̰̺͖̽̂̿̄i͔̦̰͎̙̲̗͈̫̪͎̭͛̂͂ͤ̒ͭ̍̂̏ͮ̐ͥͦͤ͆n̳̘̭̲͔̺ͫ̌̓̿ͨ̈́̊ͥͣͤ̂ͥͥ̆̚g̞̟̹̰̟̬̟̲̙̟̺̹ͮͩ̇ ͚̻͕̪̫͈̮̺͕̣̓̅̌̐̓͌̔͗͌ͣ̌̈ͤ̚d̙͔̝̘̲̪̻̗̙̊̀̏ͨͩ̃͐̓̄ͤ͐o͔͔͓͉̘̘͓̞̞̐̃̔̈́ͣͮ̔͆ͯ̅ ̙̘̲͖̱̘͙̈́̿̊̾͑ͣ͗̚ͅͅy̝͇̜͈̳͉͇̝̼͙͓̟̹̬̺̮̍̈́͌ͭ̋ͭ͌ͫ͗ͬ͌ͩ͌ͫ̿ͣ̍͑o͍̰͉͖̳͔̫̔͛̓̇͊̒ͭͫ̊̔͆̓͒ͬͥ̎́̀u̦͕̟̖̜̟̭̲̺͕̰̗̯̰͒ͧ̾͐ͪ͑̃͛̃̚ͅ ̦̰͉̩̺̘͕͍̦͕̰͇̠͙̲͎̿͆ͥ̿̑͊̍͛͋ͮ͑̈́͛̋͌̚h̤̩̰͍̯̫ͨͥͭ̎ͦ̏ͯ̅̈́͑̈́ͮ̾e͉͕͇̮̎ͥ͋̑ͯͩ̓̎͌̇͛ͭ̑̀͂ͪ̇ͫͅa͍̱̯͓̬̳̦̦̜͕̙̗̺͓͍͇̬̿͆͂̉̍ͯ̾̓͒͊ͤͤ̂͋̈́ͪ̄ͅr͕̮͚͕̱̟̗͕̜͈͈̘̰̻̭̖̞͔͂̀͑̐́ͩ̈͗ ͕̖̖͎̯̖̃͐ͤͧt̹̱̺̩͙̰̠̻̖̼̠̗̭͇̞̻̗ͧ̊̈̐ͦ̊̿͛͊̒ͅh̭͚̖͖̬́͌͗̇͒͗ͬ͒͋̍̂̌̉͑͛̿e̬̼̰̗̠̫̩̗͉͈̗̍̔̓̍̿̑̉̆̂ͮͭ̋ͮͅ ͖̟̝̯̬̮̺̲̟̰̺̗̼̭̪̺̼ͧ̎̽͐͛ͦ̚k̝͇͙̻ͣ͑̾͆͂ͮͭ̎̒̄ͯ̈́n̮̺͇̰̗̙̤̞͙̪̻̖͚͙͕̮̺ͪͤ̓̈́̀̊̍ͤͦ͆͊̒́͂͋o̲͍̞̭͉͍͇͕͍̳̳͋ͤ̂͆̄ͩc̞͕͕̹̰̑ͯ̐ͨ̌ͭ̓ͬͧ̾̔̐͛̉̌̚ḳ̝̭̼̂ͫ̀ͫ͐͛ͧ́̑̐ͩͣͯ͐̆̏́̚i̹̳̘̦̳̮̭̖̗̥̯̣̇ͪͫ͊ͬ̍͆̃̈́̏ͦ͒̏̎̈́̿̃̈̊ṇ͈̣̘̯̠͍͚̥̜͕̎ͧ̃͊̋͌̔͂́̀́ͧͯg̫̫̱͓̠͖͔̋̍ͯ̿ͨ
̲̻̳̩͎̪̯̟̠̘͎̙̞̳̜̤̰̳͆ͧ̊̎̒ͫ̍̓͐ͣH̼̖͈̥ͥ̿ͪ́ͭ̚e̝̼̳͎̱͇̯͍̗̲̤͚̩̘͓͂̓̂ͣͮ̾̏̈́͗ ̬̘̤̞͇̣̟̝̙͓͎͇̘͓̭̦͙̽̔ͬ̃͒̒ͦͅw͓̣̲̪͈̝͎̦̼͎̟͍͎̗̠͔̝ͧ̃̾̔ͧͤ̏ͯh̥͔͙̣͕͉̳̜̞̟̹̋ͨͯͧͫ̿͂̈́̃̎̉͂̇̓ͬ̓̃̒̈́ȍ̥̺͎̖̮͇͙̖̥͚̮̱̹͎̜̮̰̗͋͋̓ͮͩ͐̽̐̔̅̒̀͌ͬ͆ ̲̞̳̳̞͖̩̻͈̦̟͊̈͌̇̄ͦ̀͆̾̆̈́ͤͅẈ̗̟̟͈͖͎̥̦͚̰̗̰̐̈͊̾̀a͍͙͙͍̼͉̩͓̣̫̱̐̽̒̅ͧͭ̎̾͗̆́̍͐̇̿͐͂̔ͅi̗͉͉͈̥͕̎ͨ͒̉̄̎ͧ̑͗̈ͯ̂͛ͤ͑ͭ͌̾̚t̞͎̲͇͉̩̟̥͙̙̺ͬ̋̋͐̆̅̃́̔̽s̖̘̳͔͉̭̳͋̅ͦ̌ͯ̃̀͂̂ͣ̾ͬͮ̈́̄͒ ̲̗̣̮̑͛ͬ̍ͯ̉͌Ḅ͙̰̜͙̰̖̘͚̙̺͈̀ͦ̆͋̓ͤ̈͗̊̊̑͐e̤̲̳̮̫̤̰̬̦̱̭̊ͭ̃ͣ͐̑̈́͛̚ͅh͇̞̳͎͎̟̳̩ͤ̏̅ͩỉ̺̖͇̦̲̺͗̂ͥ̌ͦ̿͋̑ͯ̎n̦͇͍̹̝͉͉̯̲̺̐̃̎̐d͇̣͖̳̬͎̰̬ͥ̄̈ͣ̀̾̊ ͕̖̬̣̳̠̲̞̗̲̼͓͂͆ͧͫ͌̾̚T̩̥̞͐̓ͩ̇͊ͩ̎̾͑h̺̪̹͔͎͌ͧ̈́̎̃̑̔̓̾͂̌̐̂̏̀ȇ̺̮̪͔̺̳͍̼̳̼ͤ͆̊̏́ ̹͇̼͍̭̲̠̣̳̫̤̞͑ͬ̓͛̑̇ͭ̇̐W̱͎̱̩̖͓̲̥̦̣͈͙̦̤̬̗̬̌ͩ̒̿ͥͯ̒ͤͩ̍ͥͪͪ̒̇ͩͥ̚ä͕̣̩͉̳̭̹́͗̅̓͌͛͗̿͊̇͌l̞͓͕̤̝̹̲̥̙͔̯̦̪̱̟̰̱ͯ̄ͮ͌l̠̤̰̘͇̘̜̪̖̬̏ͬ͋̃̀̂ͨͨ͒̌.̠̼͈͇̗͔̙̹͈̖̣̣̣̠ͩ̉͐̇͐͊̐ͦ͗̚




Ḩ̶̼̥̹̞̥͉̫͊̃̀̊ͩ͊͆̒ͪ͆̋̈ͫ̔̓̒̿ͣ̀̕͝E̴̒̊̽͒ͬ̾̈́̔̇̍ͩͧ̓́͏̶̨̫̯͍̖̝̰̺͖̱͚͍̞̟ ̋̈͂̐̆̅͏̝̮͖̬̣̗̦̤̻̳̯͎̰̮͚̲̥̥͞C̸̸̸̫͙̤͚͔̗̞̰͚͇̣̮̲̦̬̙̲̦̽̾̎́͛̉̔͗͠Ǫ̢̢̥͉̺̞͔̤̏ͪ͑ͭ̑ͬ̐̊͠M̸̵̖̙͙͉̻̝͎̘̬̠̜̲̹̫̠̤̩͙ͣ͌̀̐ͣͣͫ̔́͟͠ͅE̸̳̥̭̺̙͕̤͍̋̐̽͞S̵͕͕̖͇͓̼̞͐̏̒̇ͭ̇ͥ͑̽ͪͫ̋ͭ͘ͅ
posted by Pastabagel at 11:31 AM on September 6, 2011 [6 favorites]


I am a charismatic and there is no such thing as typing in tongues. For her sake I hope she just has a cat.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 11:31 AM on September 6, 2011


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