Wotan Represents The Bundesbank

September 7, 2011 1:42 PM

JP Morgan explains the euro crisis with Lego [Full PDF version]
posted by chavenet (22 comments total)

This is the best thing ever.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:44 PM on September 7, 2011

The Swiss intervention to weaken their currency has received hardly any press in Canada and the US media. It seems like just one more thing that will cause the euro to collapse.
posted by KokuRyu at 1:57 PM on September 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

I tried to consider this a financial story, but when I saw the image all I could think was "Got, Got, Need, Have double, Need, Need, Got, Got (etc, etc)". So sad for a grown man :)
posted by samworm at 1:58 PM on September 7, 2011 [4 favorites]

Come on Reuters, shouldn't that be with LEGO bricks (following the company's use "as an adjective, not as a noun" guideline)? ;-)
posted by hyperizer at 2:00 PM on September 7, 2011

Iceland on page 3 is the best.
posted by cjorgensen at 2:00 PM on September 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

I like the IMF pig! Waitaminnit ... They're just using the same actor over and over. What kind of cut-rate production is this?
posted by Kabanos at 2:05 PM on September 7, 2011

The Swiss intervention to weaken their currency has received hardly any press in Canada and the US media. It seems like just one more thing that will cause the euro to collapse.
posted by KokuRyu

It looks to me like they are trying to join the ERM by the back door, the UK tried that one already.
posted by Lanark at 2:08 PM on September 7, 2011

Lego Legos
posted by OverlappingElvis at 2:46 PM on September 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

They didn't explain the part where they took liars loans in the US, "securitized" them, carefully mixing in just enough bad loans with good ones to get the default timed juuuuust right. They sold them to investors all over the world because the Ratings Agencies were in bed with them and gave them AAA ratings, while their own people called them "shit", meanwhile they used derivatives to bet against the bonds they just sold and made commissions on.

Billions in profits with no real collateral or risk.... a great job if you can get it, and keep the mob at bay.

Then the same set of players use the 650 trillion dollars worth of "derivatives" that dwarfs the real physical economy as a tactical weapon to destroy the currency and credit of any target in the world, such as the recent attack on Greece, and their subsequent surrender to IMF.

The terms of the IMF loan to Greece include a clause that prevents them from borrowing from anyone else, which makes the entire nation a debt slave to the IMF.

And lastly, I'd like to point out that all this "money" and "profit" is created out of thin air, and it's rapidly being converted to ownership of real assets as fast as possible.


One wonders if it's possible for the mess to be unwound in any sane manner once the proles wake up and see what has been done to them.
posted by MikeWarot at 2:49 PM on September 7, 2011 [10 favorites]

Oh... I forgot to say...


But I'm not bitter.... ;-)
posted by MikeWarot at 2:49 PM on September 7, 2011

There doesn't seem to be an arrow where bondholders and shareholders push the burden onto citizens. Why not?

Also, Wotan should only have one eye.
posted by Jehan at 2:50 PM on September 7, 2011

Nor does there seem to be a place where more money is paid to the Executives than is paid in Taxes.

In fact, none of the socialization of the costs of everything the bankers do is shown.
posted by MikeWarot at 2:53 PM on September 7, 2011

So this little Eighties-looking customs officer fellow here, that's Strasbourg. And Brussels is the urinal. No, not the waffle, the waffle represents the lack of political resolve.

The Greeks!? No! The feta stands for the pensions crisis. My God you people, it's an aged cheese!

There. And the hammer and sickle — well, I was thinking labour migration, but fine, let it be socialist parties' opposition to the bailout. I don't care.

What's that? The True Finns and their ambush of the bailout by demanding collateral? Ha, that's clever. No, the Trojan Horse is just the Greeks.

posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:53 PM on September 7, 2011

hyperizer: I think Reuters are just doing their part to keep the lawyers in check. Otherwise we'd all probably end up calling them "Lego™-brand interlocking creative construction play experience polymer resin brick products." And we would pronounce the "tee-em." Real people say "with Lego" (if they speak European English) or "with Legos" (if they speak American) (why the difference, I don't know). If the law hasn't figured out yet that the trademark "Lego" refers to a particular toy, and not just to whatever happens to be owned by a particular company, I am all in favor of making the law come to meet the humans and not the other way round.

/descriptivist derail
posted by eritain at 2:54 PM on September 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

The Swiss intervention to weaken their currency has received hardly any press in Canada and the US media. It seems like just one more thing that will cause the euro to collapse.

No it won't. Total Swiss imports are about $160 billion and exports about $180 bn, so even if the franc declined 10% relative to the Euro you'd be looking at a net loss to the euro of what, $45bn? That's not much in comparison to the overall size of the EU economy; Switzerland is wealthy but fairly small.

It'll be Eurobonds in the end. Euro collapse would lead to tariffs at best and war at worst, and the capital destruction would far outweigh the opportunity costs of Eurobonds.

There doesn't seem to be an arrow where bondholders and shareholders push the burden onto citizens. Why not?

That's (indirectly) #2 & #9 - the incumbents represent the interests of bond/shareholders, and are trying to use the ECB to insulate themselves from the problems of the weaker eurozone members.
posted by anigbrowl at 2:59 PM on September 7, 2011

French local authorities with Swiss franc loans risk toxic timebomb
posted by KokuRyu at 3:57 PM on September 7, 2011

The 9-year-old must have a massive headache all the time if the document represents how he sees anything.
posted by carbide at 4:15 PM on September 7, 2011

They didn't explain the part ....

Doing so might prove embarrassing, at the very least. Remember, this is being put out by J.P.Morgan. (But if you are interested in their first story, sit back and read this.)
posted by IndigoJones at 5:02 PM on September 7, 2011

French local authorities with Swiss franc loans risk toxic timebomb

The move by the swiss to devalue the franc actually helps not hurts with respect to this. And the really scariness wrt this issue is in central and eastern europe.
posted by JPD at 6:19 PM on September 7, 2011

Why did I think using Lego(s) would make it any more comprehensible?
posted by Redhush at 7:45 PM on September 7, 2011

Until now, I've never sided with nitty "they're Lego Bricks!" crowd. But I just panicked because I just parsed "the euro crisis with LEGO" as some kind of trouble for LEGO. Like: "Oh no, there a crisis with LEGO? Please explain it to me JP Morgan!!!"
posted by BurnChao at 8:11 PM on September 7, 2011

Yeah I was really nervous there for a minute that LEGO might be in trouble, but thankfully it's just the world economy imploding. Carry on.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:02 PM on September 7, 2011