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Reject has Some Rocky Advice
September 9, 2011 11:35 PM   Subscribe

On his way out, this reject gives some inspirational, but Rocky advice to the other contestants. While such profound advice is not usually associated with reality television, the viral spread of such an intriguing motivational speech reveals how HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG
posted by Knigel (75 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
The number of HNNNNGGG is incorrect. There are actually twenty-three HNNNNGGG in the linked video.
posted by Nomyte at 11:45 PM on September 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


I am ashamed at my mistake and will now perform seppuku..."HNNNNGGG!!!"
posted by Knigel at 11:48 PM on September 9, 2011


/facepalm
posted by gideonswann at 11:50 PM on September 9, 2011


And all the while, these transmissions are beamed away from earth and out into space, possibly to be one day detected, decoded, translated and puzzled over until it is realized that we were only doing it because we could, and that we had decided there'd been nothing better to do at the time.
posted by Silverdragonanon at 11:52 PM on September 9, 2011 [9 favorites]


SPOILER: The movie clip has a distinct lack of HNNNNGGG.
posted by rhizome at 11:52 PM on September 9, 2011


Well done, Reddit. Well done.
posted by maryr at 12:01 AM on September 10, 2011


This is fucking stupid.
posted by dersins at 12:02 AM on September 10, 2011 [4 favorites]




That's pretty much how I end all of my relationships. It's a nice clean break.
posted by empyrean at 12:05 AM on September 10, 2011 [22 favorites]


Why didn't he pour gasoline all over himself and then light himself on fire before doing that?
posted by Horselover Phattie at 12:07 AM on September 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


We don't live in a perfect world.
posted by maryr at 12:08 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


That's basically what happens every time I wake up.
posted by loquacious at 12:31 AM on September 10, 2011


No, maryr, we didn't. But we do now.
posted by oneironaut at 12:32 AM on September 10, 2011


I am from NZ, is that your peoples' version of a Haka?
posted by priorpark17 at 12:35 AM on September 10, 2011 [8 favorites]


That guy is my hero.
posted by troll at 12:43 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


If he had laid an enormous egg at the end of that, I wouldn't have been in the least surprised.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:51 AM on September 10, 2011 [27 favorites]


I learned everything I know about Haka(s) from watching the Lord of the Rings bonus materials, but it's a damn cool ritual.
posted by ShutterBun at 12:54 AM on September 10, 2011


I... I, well...

For a reality show contestant, I thought he showed great humility and poise with his speech. And while I don't understand the world he comes from, I don't want to give him to much HNNNNNGGGG HNNNNNGGGG HNNNNNGGGGG!
DAMMIT! I can't help myself!

/falls backwards onto stage in shame.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:55 AM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Well to be fair to reddit, this is an example of a post that is not:

This is how I feel when my little brother messes up my room

This is how I feel when mom kisses me goodbye in front of school

Does anyone else get extremely sore balls after making out?

TAE President Bush's father was also a president as well as being head of the CIA
posted by the noob at 1:25 AM on September 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


I found myself watching this and going "wow, he really did that until he fell to the floor."

Please don't tell my next of kin that I watched a reality show, even if it was merely a byte.
posted by chemoboy at 1:41 AM on September 10, 2011


He won a seizure?
posted by dabitch at 2:16 AM on September 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


This is just like Tim Pawlenty's speech when he dropped out of the presidential race.
posted by Knappster at 2:17 AM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I have to say, I am truly sorry that I posted this on Metafilter. After watching the video, my neurons were ablaze with misfires and I confused "Best of the web" with "Worst of everything".
posted by Knigel at 2:25 AM on September 10, 2011 [16 favorites]


i agree with the op
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 2:54 AM on September 10, 2011


i mean i agree with the original post
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 2:54 AM on September 10, 2011


It's ok, have another drink.
posted by mediareport at 2:56 AM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


ok
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 2:58 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I haven't had a TV for the last 10 years. This post has just reminded me why.
posted by chillmost at 3:00 AM on September 10, 2011 [6 favorites]


I'm not here to make HNNNNGGGS.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:00 AM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


No need to apologize, this actually brightened my day a bit. On the other hand, I think the tags need some work. Not nearly enouHNNNNGGG
posted by Ghidorah at 3:03 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Time to slash anthropology department budgets everywhere - we've found the Missing Link.
posted by Ryvar at 3:25 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


In my flu-addled mind, I thought all the HNNNGGG stuff had something to do with Nigel Thornberry mashups. I was waiting for the familiar gargle, when all of a sudden the guy started gasping for air and passed out. Amazing.
posted by Kaleidolia at 3:48 AM on September 10, 2011


you are viewing a single comment's thread.

*backs away, slowly, avoiding eye contact*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:15 AM on September 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Happy birthday to me. I'm stunned, so I'm just going to pretend that I unwrapped a gag joke.
posted by bilabial at 4:29 AM on September 10, 2011


Video caption:
"Jonny Sarhanis bids farewell to his VH1 castmates with a final animal."

whaaaaaat? What animal? You mean there were other animals?
posted by memebake at 4:44 AM on September 10, 2011


OK, I get it. He does it all the time, and he calls it 'The Full Animal'
He also did in when he was auditioning for the show. (skip to 4:20)
posted by memebake at 4:52 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


This post came up at a good time for me. I have to do a three hour seminar on thermal printer repair this morning, and I'm a little short of material to round out the presentation. I now have the perfect ending. Thanks, MetaFilter!

HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGGGGGGHHH... *thud*
posted by spoobnooble at 4:54 AM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I haven't had a TV for the last 10 years. This post has just reminded me why.

I just ordered a new 50" widescreen tv to compensate for your failure to conform . . .




HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGGGGGGHHH...
posted by jeremias at 4:59 AM on September 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


this version of the video shows what happened next.
Summary: not much. Polite applause from other contestants, pep speech from host.
posted by memebake at 5:01 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Truly an addictive personality is one that, without access to drugs, resorts to going HNNNGGG HNNGGG HNNGGG until it passes out.
posted by jefeweiss at 5:02 AM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I am from NZ, is that your peoples' version of a Haka?

No, that's what happens when ancestral DNA suddenly activates. That was obviously someone's great^n silverback gorilla uncle making a territorial stand in front of a cage full of money.
posted by hippybear at 5:14 AM on September 10, 2011


I was really surprised it wasn't followed by a HNNNNNNG.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:41 AM on September 10, 2011


The literal translation of the Ka Mate haka is "this is the hairy man!"
posted by tumid dahlia at 6:17 AM on September 10, 2011


Have no regrets, Knigel! I happily look forward to all the clips of politicians and other celebrities that this will get appended to. The memeosphere has a potent new element.
posted by benito.strauss at 6:22 AM on September 10, 2011


Was this guy ever on some other reality tv show?
posted by Stoatfarm at 6:23 AM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


By Holy Fire shall they be purged. All must burn. The time is upon us. Let us commence the Great Work.
posted by aramaic at 6:47 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


without access to drugs

Are you sure? In England, they're kinda infamous for giving contestants access to drugs so they bug out for our viewing pleasure.
posted by Not Supplied at 6:57 AM on September 10, 2011


I am not an elephant! I am not an animal! I am a human being! I—HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG.

In any case, the straight up lift from Balboa is arguably the more embarrassing part of the clip; grunting and falling over I can see a person really making their own as dumb schticks go, but when your thought process on material comes down to "I can out-emote Sly Stallone" you've kind of already conceded a few hard hits to life for no good reason.
posted by cortex at 6:59 AM on September 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Hamlet:
What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGG! HNNNNGGGGGGGHHH...
posted by PlusDistance at 7:18 AM on September 10, 2011 [14 favorites]


Maybe the guy just has a perfect memory for movie lines, but otherwise it seems vaguely weird that he memorized that speech word for word, thinking, "I'm going to use this someday."
posted by Deathalicious at 7:21 AM on September 10, 2011


Who are these people?
posted by clvrmnky at 7:24 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Bystanders who've been accidentally guaranteed immortality by the memetic actions of HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG
posted by Peztopiary at 8:07 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I foresee a meme storm.
posted by Xoebe at 8:22 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Maybe the guy just has a perfect memory for movie lines, but otherwise it seems vaguely weird that he memorized that speech word for word, thinking, "I'm going to use this someday."

Having spent a not insignificant amount of time in the world of "reality" TV production, I'd be willing to wager good money that he was fed the speech by one of the producers (or, more likely, associate producers, who are usually younger and a little more "relatable," and are thus often better able to worm their way into the participants' confidence in order to guide them to unwittingly follow the scripted storyline). It probably went something like this:

PRODUCER: "Dude, Johnny, if you're ever eliminated, you'll totally have the chance for some final words. Just in case, you should think about what you might want to say. Maybe something inspirational."

JOHNNY: Inspir-what-now?

PRODUCER: Inspirational. You know, like Rocky's speech.
*shows youtube clip*

JOHNNY: Oh yeah!

PRODUCER: Also, that thing you do with the HNNNGGGs? Also totally inspirational. A great way to fire up your castmates if you're ever eliminated.

JOHNNY: Oh hell yeah!
*watches youtube clip repeatedly until he has it memorized, practices that thing he does with the HNNNGGGs*

PRODUCER: (under breath while exiting) Oh man, what a fucking moron. This is gonna be reality TV gold. Millions of people who've never even heard of our show before are gonna watch this shit online and talk about it.
posted by dersins at 8:28 AM on September 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


I'll gladly take HNNNNNGGGG HNNNNNGGGG HNNNNNGGGGG! over yet another David Foster Wallace or Sarah Palin thread.
posted by cropshy at 8:32 AM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I was listening to Nurse With Wound's She And Me Fall Together Like Free Death quietly in the background, and unthinkingly played the post's video right over it.

It totally worked.
posted by everichon at 9:08 AM on September 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Not the way we Brits handle failure at all. Fellow needs a decent shirt and trousers, and a little self-control. Very poor show, that chap.
posted by Decani at 9:20 AM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I liked it better when Hulk was green.
posted by Skygazer at 9:22 AM on September 10, 2011


Decani: "Not the way we Brits handle failure at all"

I see you have not been paying attention to the latest antics in the footing-ball, good sir.
posted by subbes at 9:45 AM on September 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


I'll gladly take HNNNNNGGGG HNNNNNGGGG HNNNNNGGGGG! over yet another David Foster Wallace or Sarah Palin thread.

If you want a picture of the future, imagine Sarah Palin HNNNNGG HNNNGGG HNNNGGGing on David Foster Wallace's grave... forever.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:52 AM on September 10, 2011 [6 favorites]


I refuse to let this asshole ruin Rocky for me.
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:38 AM on September 10, 2011


That's ok, Rocky comes pre-ruined!
posted by Horselover Phattie at 10:47 AM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Lies and slander, sir.
posted by EatTheWeak at 11:06 AM on September 10, 2011


I refuse to let this asshole ruin Rocky for me.

Are you kidding? This guy ruined incoherent grunting for me.
posted by PlusDistance at 11:50 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


U-S-A U-S-A!!
posted by humboldt32 at 11:57 AM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I see you have not been paying attention to the latest antics in the footing-ball, good sir.
posted by subbes at 5:45 PM on September 10


The round ball is for the common folk, sir. The British gentleman likes his balls elongated or seamed.
posted by Decani at 12:01 PM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Twenty bucks, same as in town.
posted by darkstar at 12:20 PM on September 10, 2011


Otherwise, this is your brain...this is your brain on steroids.

Any questions?
posted by darkstar at 12:21 PM on September 10, 2011


I wonder if he's available for children's birthday parties?
posted by Skygazer at 12:35 PM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ok.
Now, can you touch tour toes?
posted by From Bklyn at 2:03 PM on September 10, 2011


Bloomberg should invite this guy to speak at the 9/11 memorial ceremony.

They hate us for our HNNNNGGG!!!
posted by homunculus at 2:06 PM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I was sliding slowly down, moving forward with each movement I made! And with time, I felt a tug on my neck! To my horror, the part corresponding to my neck only got longer and longer and longer, stretching until it should have torn off! No, not just my neck! My arms, legs, and torso! The hold stretched out into several directions at once! Someone! Anyone! Help me! DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR DRR
posted by aparrish at 2:27 PM on September 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: You could over think a HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG HNNNNGGG!
posted by lumpenprole at 5:51 PM on September 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hey he might've lost whatever prize money the show was offering, but Roger Ailes is probably buying him a law degree and a DA position in a swing state.
posted by condour75 at 6:39 PM on September 10, 2011


Paul Thorn vs. Roberto Duran
posted by Reverend John at 9:24 PM on September 10, 2011


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