Nigella and Jamie Talk Dirty.
September 19, 2011 5:55 AM   Subscribe

Nigella talks dirty. Jamie talks dirty. DLYT, NSFW
posted by Ahab (30 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite

 
unzip; strip; touch; finger; grep; mount; fsck; more; yes; fsck; fsck; fsck; umount; sleep
posted by kmz at 6:00 AM on September 19, 2011 [3 favorites]


Oh dear.
How unsubtle Nigella and Jamie have become. "I've got a bit of a boner" - seriously Jamie!
In their early days, the sexual innuendo of these two TV chefs worked because it wasn't (too) forced. Jamie was the cheeky chappie with a twinkle in his eye, Nigella was the voluptuous domestic goddess. Now, as these clips show, they are hamming it up, acting their former selves.
posted by OrlaS at 6:04 AM on September 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


OrlaS: "Oh dear.
How unsubtle Nigella and Jamie have become. "I've got a bit of a boner" - seriously Jamie!
"

Just in case you're not actually being sarcastic... have you heard of video editing?
posted by Deathalicious at 6:16 AM on September 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


A perfect excuse to spread the word of Vic & Bob.
posted by Harry at 6:17 AM on September 19, 2011 [2 favorites]


Here's the Masterchef Buttery Biscuit Base song for anyone who hasn't already heard it on its travels around the internet.
posted by emilyw at 6:21 AM on September 19, 2011 [5 favorites]


I'll add that editing a video to make a Nigella show sexually suggestive is fairly redundant. I've never seen more heaving bosoms or fluttering eyelashes during a cooking show.
posted by Deathalicious at 6:22 AM on September 19, 2011 [2 favorites]


Is "boner" still used in its non-erectile, comic-book sense somewhere in the world?
posted by swift at 6:24 AM on September 19, 2011


Waaaay back when I was in elementary school, we read a short story in class and then had to identify the word the author made up. I said, of course, "boner" because I hadn't heard it yet, not being old enough to have encountered the more common meaning nor having read any old Batman comics...
posted by Foosnark at 6:30 AM on September 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hey! I know how to use iMovie, too!
posted by Thorzdad at 6:39 AM on September 19, 2011


Cassetteboy vs. The Hairy Bikers
posted by howfar at 6:42 AM on September 19, 2011


Sorry, forgot Cassetteboy vs. Jamie Oliver. I'll stop now.
posted by howfar at 6:44 AM on September 19, 2011


Is "boner" still used in its non-erectile, comic-book sense somewhere in the world?

Well, it's also used to refer to abattoir workers who remove bones from the carcasses of slaughtered animals. For example. Not sure how many comic books there have been set in abattoirs, though.

In this case, I'm pretty sure Jamie is saying "bonus" but the "s" has been cut off.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 6:47 AM on September 19, 2011


Gastroporn.

Also I have such a huge crush on Nigela that I found this disgraceful and was most displeased until they got to "hold it away from me and set fire to it", at which point I spat coffee all over my keyboard and had to admit it was worth all the clam jokes.
posted by The Bellman at 7:03 AM on September 19, 2011 [4 favorites]


Loves me some Nigella.
posted by word_virus at 7:08 AM on September 19, 2011


This is ugly. Nigella Lawson dares to be attractive and play up the sensuality of food? Lets do some cheeky editing and show everyone the slut she really is!
posted by villanelles at dawn at 7:33 AM on September 19, 2011


This is ugly. Nigella Lawson dares to be attractive and play up the sensuality of food? Lets do some cheeky editing and show everyone the slut she really is!

I think it's just meant to be funny. Nigella Lawson's on-screen persona is already played for laughs, as well as making your dad go very quiet during family viewing.

I think that dirty whore Oliver is asking for all he gets, though.
posted by howfar at 7:39 AM on September 19, 2011 [3 favorites]


STANDING OVATION
posted by nathancaswell at 7:55 AM on September 19, 2011


I'm crying with laughter at the Nigella one.
posted by dowcrag at 8:45 AM on September 19, 2011


"My clam flesh is absolutely addictive"

That was when I sprayed my screen with coffee.

With COFFEE, I said.
posted by LMGM at 9:25 AM on September 19, 2011


I love it. Waiting for an Ina Garten mashup- if only Jeffrey would show a little more interest in her juicy French dip sandwich her softspoken desperation would be just as sexy as Nigella's sultry sauciness. I really feel for Ina!
posted by Lisitasan at 9:37 AM on September 19, 2011


Ina Garten

Please, please.... Don't.
posted by humboldt32 at 10:07 AM on September 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


Paula Dean. Butter. Greased up chicken cavities begging to be stuffed.

The horror.
posted by munchingzombie at 10:23 AM on September 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


Paula Dean.

It's Deen.

Just add voiceover to this. Or this.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:34 AM on September 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ronni Ancona as Nigella Lawson
posted by Anything at 10:40 AM on September 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


This still has nothing on Simon Hopkinson's own, unedited narration in Episode 1 of The Good Cook. Describing the final steps of his dessert, he teases, 'Here it comes! Sticky, sticky.'
posted by yellowcandy at 11:15 AM on September 19, 2011


Waiting for an Ina Garten mashup- if only Jeffrey would show a little more interest in her juicy French dip sandwich her softspoken desperation would be just as sexy as Nigella's sultry sauciness. I really feel for Ina!

I loves me some Ina. I imagine her quiet demeanor as she steps us through Minced Jeffrey Potpie.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:07 PM on September 19, 2011


clam flesh
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:06 PM on September 19, 2011


I hope this isn't too much off-topic, but I have the HUGEST crush on Nigella Lawson, have for years, and I am a very gay man :-D

Also, thanks for posting. This is totally my dirty, silly sense of humour and it's a great little laugh at the end of a long, rainy day!
posted by 1000monkeys at 4:38 PM on September 19, 2011


My inner 13 year old is rofl'ing. *snerk*
posted by deborah at 5:43 PM on September 19, 2011


Cassetteboy's Nigella's XXXMas!
posted by jonp72 at 6:17 PM on September 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


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