"Is My Son Gay?"

September 26, 2011 2:55 PM

"'Is My Son Gay?,' a new app available in the Android Market, has a rather simple premise: It claims to determine, through a series of 20 questions, whether or not the survey-taker's offspring is, in fact, a homosexual. And yet despite this simplicity of purpose, the app is -- surprise! -- incredibly controversial"

The survey's 20 questions:

1. Does he like to dress up nicely? Does he pay close attention to his outfits and brand names?

2. Does he like football?

3. Before he was born did you wish he would be a girl?

4. Has he ever gotten into or participated in a fight?

5. Does he read sports magazines?

6. Does he have a best friend?

7. Does he like team sports?

8. Is he prudish/modest?

9. Does he like diva singers?

10. Does he spend a long time in the bathroom?

11. Does he have a tongue, nose or ear piercing?

12. Does he spend time getting ready before being seen in public?

13. Have you asked yourself questions about your son's sexual orientation?

14. Are you divorced?

15. Does he like musical comedies?

16. Has he introduced you to a girlfriend ever?

17. Is his father very strict or authoritarian with his son?

18. In your family is the father absent?

19. Was he shy as a child?

20. Is he close to his father?

posted by ericb (24 comments total)

Wow, I knew that quiz memes are stupid, but I didn't know they were homophobic!
posted by LogicalDash at 2:57 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Pepsi Rainbow
posted by Trurl at 2:57 PM on September 26, 2011

haha! so many football questions.. to me, THAT is gay.
posted by ReeMonster at 2:58 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

"The Android app was made by French developers 'Emmene Moi' (Eng.: 'Bring Me'), whose only previous work was on 'Mon Fils Est-Il Gay?' (Eng.: 'Is My Son Gay?'). The English version of 'Mon Fils Est-Il Gay?' looks to be a straight translation from the French, as the app's description in the Android Market appears to have been ripped from a computerized service like Babelfish." *

posted by ericb at 2:58 PM on September 26, 2011

I was hoping for more of a tricorder like device,like you wave it over him and you get a bunch of metrics.
posted by The Whelk at 2:59 PM on September 26, 2011 [5 favorites]

And by the way.. I'm straight as an arrow, but based on how my parents would've answered these questions when I was growing up (musical comedies, ahem), and the obvious track by which they would determine my gayness, I would be the gayest homo in the known Universe!!
posted by ReeMonster at 2:59 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is horrible.
posted by sweetkid at 3:00 PM on September 26, 2011

Wait, people make web quizes into apps? And they charge money for them? I knew that archiving AOL pages was valuable for a reason!
posted by filthy light thief at 3:01 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Is your Android parent homophobic? Check their programming.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:01 PM on September 26, 2011

Yeah, I think this would get a lot of false positives with the straight-but-effete crew.

More pertinent would be:

* Does my son enjoy sexual activities with other boys, or men?

That would tell you a lot.
posted by everichon at 3:01 PM on September 26, 2011 [5 favorites]

I'm still waiting for adequacy's "Is My Son a Computer Hacker" app.
posted by rajbot at 3:02 PM on September 26, 2011

Know how I know you're gay?
posted by villanelles at dawn at 3:02 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

I was hoping for an app that would just play this on repeat.
posted by piratebowling at 3:02 PM on September 26, 2011

Here's a better test, do they have an Android? Probably straight.
posted by The Whelk at 3:03 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Tangentially related, Patti Stenger's Stupid Gay Dating Advice.
posted by phaedon at 3:03 PM on September 26, 2011

If I programmed this I would make the app always answer "yes", no matter what the answers were.
posted by Legomancer at 3:03 PM on September 26, 2011 [3 favorites]

So you're either gay, or a slob?
posted by goethean at 3:04 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Does the app spit out code suitable for pasting into LJ, Blogger, or Myspace? Can't be a real quiz meme otherwise.
posted by kmz at 3:04 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Also generating false positives: anyone one of many scenes where appearance is important, and sports are not (greasers and hipsters come to mind).
posted by filthy light thief at 3:04 PM on September 26, 2011

http://gawker.com/5843738/patti-stangers-stupid-gay-dating-advice

Hiw did they get the shopping bag full of coat hangers to talk like that?
posted by The Whelk at 3:05 PM on September 26, 2011

This is a better gay test. (nsfw)
posted by michaelh at 3:05 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

I really struggled for years with the question of whether or not I'm gay, not because I'm attracted to men but because I hate football, have a lisp, and listen to Barbra Streisand. Now it's one of my big pet peevs whenever anyone says, "You know he's gay. Just listen to him." Pisses me off. And of the two gay men I know, one is moderately effeminate and the other is way more masculine than I am. Ugh. I hate this shit.
posted by jwhite1979 at 3:06 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

if installed(grindr): return 1 else return 0

Lower sensitivity, but probably a little more specific...
posted by en forme de poire at 3:07 PM on September 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

Since it's actually a French app the football question is ambiguous. Pretty sure the kinds of people who would use this app consider being a soccer fan on a par with dressing up like Lady Gaga.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 3:07 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]