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How do I make my document look like it was written by an Cthulhu worshipping madman?
September 28, 2011 9:06 AM   Subscribe

How do I make my document look like it was written by an Cthulhu worshipping madman? Some LaTeX solutions.
posted by OmieWise (60 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite

 
Do I want to know which vowel "Cthulhu" starts with?
posted by Nomyte at 9:09 AM on September 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I know. I struggled with whether or not to change that from the text on the linked page, but then figured that maybe he has some dread knowledge that I don't.
posted by OmieWise at 9:12 AM on September 28, 2011


the "Cth" is silent.
posted by empath at 9:13 AM on September 28, 2011


For my next paper, I will use one of those only for some references and see if referees notice.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 9:14 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hm, I got it to typeset, although I don't have the emerald fonts and for some reason the color commands weren't working. I think I'll actually learn a bit from this!
posted by Wolfdog at 9:17 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Of related interest: The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society Fonts and Props CD (much of which is available as free downloads.)
posted by Zed at 9:17 AM on September 28, 2011 [4 favorites]


From now on, whenever I see "Cthulhu" in print, I'll mentally substitute it with the Zoidberg whooping call. That seems to call for "an" as the indefinite article.
posted by Nomyte at 9:22 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


SLSE
posted by jeffamaphone at 9:23 AM on September 28, 2011


This is actually quite informative for someone like me who has only the slightest grasp on how to tinker with LaTeX's default styles - thank you!
posted by usonian at 9:26 AM on September 28, 2011


As a Cthulhu worshiping madman, I actually eschew print entirely and prefer to work in stone, because only there can I document the full anguish and terror It hath wrought in the convoluted and tortured carvings of our Dead but Dreaming Master, the mere sight of which is enough to drive lesser minds over the brink of mindlessness and into the waiting black abyss.


Though for interdepartmental communications, I actually find Post-Its still work best.
posted by quin at 9:28 AM on September 28, 2011 [15 favorites]


I actually eschew print entirely and prefer to work in stone

Oh for that you just do, e.g.,

\usepackage[granite,embossed=false,depth=12mm]{chiselx}
posted by Wolfdog at 9:32 AM on September 28, 2011 [15 favorites]


I want to see the Metafont code for chisel and stone. Can I specify the number of strikes per line? The width and durability of the chisel? The type of edge and the rate at which I rehone it?
posted by zippy at 9:36 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yeah, but can you use math mode with it? Maybe then I can make my intro stat lectures better reflect the horror my students feel.

"And today I introduce to you the p-value, that ancient, horrible value that has driven scientists mad since the dawn of history. Do not try to understand it, or you will surely follow them into madness."

This could be part of me preparing them to be Bayesians.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 9:36 AM on September 28, 2011 [7 favorites]


the "Cth" is silent.

Crap. So I guess I can't see it in Canada.
posted by Hoopo at 9:37 AM on September 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


This is actually quite informative for someone like me who has only the slightest grasp on how to tinker with LaTeX's default styles

Ah, the first steps down the slippery slope to gibbering madness. (Am I talking about Cthulhu or TeX? You decide.)
posted by Zed at 9:37 AM on September 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


How do I make my document look like it was written by an Cthulhu worshipping madman?

Ah, I see faith-based initiatives on mental health and sex ed has finally come up with more grant money again. Anything has got to be better than the abstinence and teenage pregnancy plans we've gotten over the last decade.
posted by yeloson at 9:38 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I don't see why he doesn't just use \documentstyle{necronomicon}.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:39 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I want to see the Metafont code

Oh, you're really into eldritch horrors.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:39 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


the "Cth" is silent.

This is a misunderstanding that arises from a mistranslation of a passage in Unaussprechlichen Kulten. Only the first "Cth" is silent. All further "Cth"s must be pronounced in full, with the glottal trill. If someone followed your suggestion all attempts at summoning the Greater Dreams would fail.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:45 AM on September 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


And no-one suggested using cmr10?
posted by scruss at 9:47 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


So LaTex is good for something other than odd-looking documents by people who claim they care about typesetting, not word processing? Who knew?
posted by tommasz at 9:53 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


So LaTex is good for something other than odd-looking documents by people who claim they care about typesetting, not word processing? Who knew?

Another thing it does is power the entire mathematical publishing industry.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:56 AM on September 28, 2011 [8 favorites]


I wish that I'd had this for my grad level discrete math class. As far as I'm concerned, there aren't many things in the world more evil than predicate calculus.
posted by octothorpe at 9:58 AM on September 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


Pr͜èvi͘o҉u҉s̵ĺy

Z̀͝ąl̸g̴̀̕o͟͠͡ ̷͢r̨͠is̛͟e͞͡s!̷
posted by adamrice at 10:13 AM on September 28, 2011


One way to use LaTeX to make a document looks like it was written by a gibbering madman is:
  1. Write the document in LaTeX.
  2. Print out the source without running it through the typesetter.
posted by The Tensor at 10:17 AM on September 28, 2011 [6 favorites]


H̥̰̲̗ͮͧ̇ͤ̾̏E͈͍͙̟̱ͭ ̦̟̗̉͐͒ͥͅE͇̍̽̄̾D̙͓͕̺͉̦͖̻̙̅ͧ̒̑ͥͭĨ̬̫̌̾ͬ̍̀T̯̲́͛̅̃S͕̯̼̼̈́͋̈̓ͦ
posted by DU at 10:19 AM on September 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Then people would know it was \label{stupid_example_for_reviewer}
posted by a robot made out of meat at 10:19 AM on September 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


And now that I've RTFA, I'm amazed there was a LaTeX way to made unaligned lines like that. LaTeX is so awesome.
posted by DU at 10:22 AM on September 28, 2011


Anything has got to be better than the abstinence and teenage pregnancy plans we've gotten over the last decade.

The Wilbur Whateley Memorial Women's Health Clinic in Innsmouth is considered a resounding success in some circles.
posted by benzenedream at 10:24 AM on September 28, 2011


The Wilbur Whateley Memorial Women's Health Clinic in Innsmouth is considered a resounding success in some circles.
posted by benzenedream at 10:24 AM on September 28 [+] [!]


It's where I do all my grocery shopping, that's for sure.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:27 AM on September 28, 2011


Like this?
̶͢͠H̴̶̡ơ̷̕ẁ͞ ͏̵̧̢̕d̴̵͘ó̵͜͞ ͟Į̕͞͡ ̴̢m̷͡a̶̡͡k̷̴e͘҉d̛̀͜͞͞óć̢͜͞úm̶̨͟e͠͡n̵͞t̸̴̷͘̕ ̢̀́͡ļ̷́҉ơ̧̛͜͡o̴̧̨̢k̶̷̡͟͞ ̵̶͢͠l̢͟į͡͡ḱ̸͡͞e͟͏ ͠i̵͡t̵̡̛͜ ͢ẃ̡҉͟a̷҉̷̨ş̧͢ ̷̡̨̛ẁ̵̡r͞͏̶͜͏i͏̢̕͢t̡̨͝͡t҉̕͟͝e̛͜͏n̶̡͟͠ ̴̸b̧̧͠y̵̢͘͡͠ ́̕͜͟á̴̢͜ņ̧̀ ҉́́͘͢C̨̨͠͝t̷̡͘͜͞h̶̶̛҉ù͟͝l̴̴̡̀͘h͏̛ų̛͜͡͝ ͡͏ẃ͢҉o̷͟͝r̷̶̡s̸̷̵̛͝h̶͝į̶p̶̨̢͢p̸̨͠͏i̷̵̷͝͠ń͢͡g͘͢͏̨ ͏͘ḿ̕͠a͏̷̡d͘͢͡m̵̡͟͜a̶̧͏ń̷̨́͡?̶̡̧
posted by chevyvan at 10:32 AM on September 28, 2011


I want to see the Metafont code for chisel and stone. Can I specify the number of strikes per line? The width and durability of the chisel? The type of edge and the rate at which I rehone it?

After reading a LaTeX book, I completely re-did my resume in it (and added LaTeX as a skill, natch). Then I wanted to read about METAfont. It's super, super, super awesome...except you can't produce vector fonts.

To quote my dent on the topic: MetaFont is great, but makes raster fonts. MetaPost makes vectors, but not fonts. METATYPE1 makes vector fonts, but not as flex as MF. WTF.
posted by DU at 10:34 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Latex is good for when grad students have writer's block and want to "work" on their thesis without actually writing anything.
posted by smackfu at 11:04 AM on September 28, 2011 [8 favorites]


Knuth made a punk font? Awesome!

Knuth side notes: has Knuth reached Himself Status yet, (that is, do people commonly say "Knuth himself has said..."

Also, would an open source Knuth be a Gnuth?

seeing myself out, thanks...

posted by shothotbot at 11:06 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Knuth has in fact reached recursive Himselfness, which is when Knuth himself has said that people commonly say, "Knuth himself has commonly said that people commonly say, "Knuth himself has said...

...".
posted by Wolfdog at 11:27 AM on September 28, 2011 [4 favorites]


This pastebin snippet is from some of my experiments with SVG. It uses the displacement map effect to move pixels to make the letters look like they were scrawled. Combined with the regular line spacing and straight rows of writing it looks like our madman had a really nice ruler.

However, combining this as a post-processing step with random placement of words and letters of different sizes, it should look really quite convincing. There are apparently some differences between SVG renderers, because this is much more scrawly when opened in Firefox as opposed to ImageMagick. On the other hand, I may be misusing some SVG property, because I'm new to this SVG effects stuff.

To view it, you can save the text as a text file and open in Firefox or other modern browsers that supports SVG. Keep the caveat of the effect not looking similar (or being used wrongly by me) in mind please. You can possibly modify the baseFrequency property to see if it improves in quality.

Now I'd probably ought to register at the Stack Exchange site and post this post-processing tip there, but I'm feeling lazy and it's late in my timezone. You'd have to get the texts from LaTeX as images and feed them through an SVG renderer with these filters in place, I think. I'd better write a proper explanation and try it with LaTeX too...
posted by tykky at 11:37 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Is there a MathJax based LaTeX to MathML converter that's more convenient than typing the equation on mathoverflow.net, selecting MathML, and selecting display source?

Imagine how much fun we could have writing equations on metafilter! Err, I suppose we should get MathML supported here first.
posted by jeffburdges at 11:51 AM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Btw, that Zalgo "He Comes" fpp crashes Safari, adamrice. lol
posted by jeffburdges at 11:55 AM on September 28, 2011


jeffburdges: there might be something like this somewhere in Sage, perhaps in the Notebook / single cell Notebook code? Doesn't WeBWorK do some such conversion (though no probably not using MathJax), as well?
posted by eviemath at 12:21 PM on September 28, 2011


Why does it look like my handwriting?
posted by fuq at 12:41 PM on September 28, 2011


Wolfdog: "Knuth has in fact reached recursive Himselfness, which is when Knuth himself has said that people commonly say, "Knuth himself has commonly said that people commonly say, "Knuth himself has said...

...".
"

No no no that's Hofstadter.
posted by mkb at 12:44 PM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yes, mathoverflow.net's MathJax offers a 'display source' option, which you may set to MathML, but mefi doesn't support MathML.
posted by jeffburdges at 1:05 PM on September 28, 2011


jeffburdges: "Btw, that Zalgo "He Comes" fpp crashes Safari, adamrice. lol"

I'm using Safari too—didn't crash on me. FWIW.
posted by adamrice at 1:05 PM on September 28, 2011


j: Is there a MathJax based LaTeX to MathML converter that's more convenient than typing the equation on mathoverflow.net, selecting MathML, and selecting display source?

e: there might be something like this somewhere in Sage, perhaps in the Notebook / single cell Notebook code? Doesn't WeBWorK do some such conversion (though no probably not using MathJax), as well?

j: Yes, mathoverflow.net's MathJax offers a 'display source' option, which you may set to MathML, but mefi doesn't support MathML.


mrrfl?
posted by eviemath at 1:12 PM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hofstadter? No. Hofstadter can't even consistently assert this sentence.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:18 PM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm with Wolfdog. It's definitely Knuth.
posted by King Bee at 1:20 PM on September 28, 2011


From the answers:
Googling "crazy latex" did not return what I expected.

I can confirm you should not google that. (Or maybe you should, I don't know you.)
posted by vogon_poet at 1:22 PM on September 28, 2011


We should create a fetish.sty package for CTAN, preferably something really useful.
posted by jeffburdges at 1:38 PM on September 28, 2011


Googling "crazy latex" did not return what I expected.

I can confirm you should not google that.


I was already laughing before I thought of the secondary1 meaning of "latex".

1Yes, secondary.
posted by DU at 2:15 PM on September 28, 2011


So LaTex is good for something other than odd-looking documents by people who claim they care about typesetting, not word processing? Who knew?


Take. It. Back.
posted by 200burritos at 2:31 PM on September 28, 2011


To be honest, it's just an odd-looking default font.
posted by smackfu at 2:58 PM on September 28, 2011


𝔐𝔦𝔫𝔡, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔡𝔬 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔶 𝔞𝔴𝔢𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔘𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔬𝔡𝔢. 𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔟𝔩𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔡𝔲𝔫𝔨𝔞𝔡𝔲𝔫𝔠 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰.
posted by JHarris at 3:53 PM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


(The above will be substantially less awesome if you're using Chrome of Safari, unfortunately.)
posted by JHarris at 4:01 PM on September 28, 2011


I remember Chrome of Safari Volume #1, where Chrome finds the source of the Nile. On Safari.
posted by DU at 4:51 PM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


It seems there has been a lot of Lovecraft posts lately. It's like the great Cthulhu is taking over our dreams and filling our nights in dread.

R'lyeh is about to rise.
posted by Deflagro at 5:29 PM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


LaTeX is nice but I'll stick to using a quill, parchment and the blood of the innocent.
posted by double block and bleed at 6:23 PM on September 28, 2011


There have been major improvements in the-blood-of-the-innocent based LaserJet technology sold by HP, double block and bleed.

It all improved almost immediately after HP stop that dumb policy of making cartridges hard to refill just so that cultists needed their 'sacrificial printing genius' for the onsite fill-up.

I swear that was the dumbest prelacy ever!

First, so many rituals occur on solstices or other special days, they needed like every HP employee just to satisfy demand. I think like half their clients had an unclean hands clause, meaning all the employees needed to swear fealty to a different old one every year.

Second, they owed all those employees hazard pay for both the ritual as well as those occasions when the sacrifice got away and the cultists looked towards the new guy. There were even cults who simply used the service to provide the sacrifice, but only when their god doesn't take innocent too seriously.

Third, they had DIY cultists who screwed up their rituals blaming the printer itself, which resulted in a few uncomfortable situations in Palo Alto. I suppose you've heard about the turnover rate among CEOs, no?.
posted by jeffburdges at 6:50 PM on September 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Any opinions how HP's new blood-of-the-innocent tablet display technology will pan out?

It appears that more than a few HP employees are interested. I'd imagine they've simply suck with whatever Great Old One they last served.

We haven't seen so much reaction from the wider more traditional cultist community yet though. Or maybe they're all hoping that Apple or Google will violate HP's blood-of-the-innocent display patent.
posted by jeffburdges at 6:54 AM on September 29, 2011


This reminds me of how Facebook, years ago, encouraged users to share their favorite topics with friends, and I put down LaTeX.

Later, Facebook made likes public ... and all lowercase.
posted by zippy at 8:20 AM on September 29, 2011 [6 favorites]


HOLY CRUD. Something I did made the front page AND I MISSED IT. *headdesk*
posted by Canageek at 4:11 PM on October 25, 2011 [5 favorites]


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