"I didn't use one on Roseanne 20 years ago, and I'm not doing it now. I have a live audience that comes in to watch the show. If they don't laugh, in the silence you can hear your career going by. We rewrite the material on the spot or cut it. If it's not funny in front of 200 human beings, it's probably not funny at home."
"The muffled thunder of dialogue comes through the walls, then a chorus of laughter. Then more thunder. Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead."Laugh tracks are one of those things that date a sitcom... or make it seem dated. I suspect the same will be true of the contemporary sitcom convention (The Office, Modern Family) that it's being filmed for some kind of mysterious research.
- Chuck Pahlaniuk, Lullaby
>"Hey Sheldon, wanna see the new Harry Potter movie?"
>The audience chuckles nervously
>"No, Harry Potter is for children. I prefer realistic and dramatic films, such as Star Wars."
>The audience laughs heartily
>"Luke, I am your father!"
>The audience begins laughing so hard they burst into flame and their lungs explode. They start pissing themselves from laughter, which fails to put out the flames but makes everything smell like burnt hair and urine. An older gentleman has a heart attack and dies on the floor, burning and covered in piss. The earth trembles below the studio, opening a gaping crack into the underbelly of the earth. Several members of the audience are dragged into the blackness, laughing so hard blood spills from their mouths as they descend into the molten core of the earth, smashing into the rock as they fall. The continued laughter echoes off the rock, causing the largest known earthquake in history, crippling the powergrids of several of the world's major cities, plunging humankind into darkness for weeks. Martial law is called into effect as the riots increase in size and aggressiveness. As food begins to run out, half of the world's populace is dead, with the survivors now resorting to cannibalism and subsistence farming.
...
"Hey Leonard..."
>The audience giggles.
"Hey Sheldon."
>Small laughs rise in anticipation.
"I've got a hangover bigger than the original X-Box..."
>There is silence. The set goes black. One lone face appears, illuminated by candlelight. It looks upwards, towards an unknowable heaven, and an even more mysterious Lord. The fifth Horseman, Comedy, rides rough over the plains, and trumpets the true end. Somewhere, a child is born, and does not cry, but instead laughs. A man on trial for murder laughs as the prosecution delivers expert testimony; the judge, while in the middle of chastising him, laughs as well. As does the family of the victim, and then the entire court. The victim, long dead and stiff with cold, laughs, muffled by the confines of the morgue shelf they are in. They are joined by many more muffled laughs. If they are alive, if only for one second, it is to laugh, and nothing more. A new constellation forms in the sky, and it forms the letters L, O, and L. Brighter than the moon, they shine down upon all providence, and all who see it know what makes the world. Not pain, or cold reason, but laughter. Pure laughter.
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posted by The Whelk at 10:42 AM on September 28, 2011 [7 favorites]