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Now I understand why Manchester has such a passion.
October 8, 2011 10:48 PM   Subscribe

The shape of England suggests a woman conscious of the size of her breasts.

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posted by Yakuman (67 comments total) 22 users marked this as a favorite

 
I always visualized Britain like an old lady tossing a fat baby (Ireland) on her lap.

I also see a roly-poly guy in a chef's hat when I look at the states bordering the western side of the Mississippi River.
posted by not_on_display at 10:55 PM on October 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Britain telling off Ireland.
posted by plep at 10:57 PM on October 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Manchester!!!!!!!

posted by rollick at 11:02 PM on October 8, 2011


Nobody tell these guys about Florida. Or Italy. Or Scandinavia. Or Korea. Or Thailand. Or Lake Titicaca.
posted by Rhaomi at 11:08 PM on October 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


Good thing Manchester is so far from Florida.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:09 PM on October 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


I enjoyed how it evolved from crude sketches to a detailed drawing by the end. Now I'll no longer be able to un-see it.
posted by bleep at 11:10 PM on October 8, 2011


Yeah, bleep, me too. I was all prepared to hate this, then did at first, but by the end I was thinking, wow. That's talent.
posted by ctmf at 11:30 PM on October 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Stand back, squint, and think of England.
posted by hermitosis at 11:31 PM on October 8, 2011 [15 favorites]


You should have seen her during the Pangaea orgy.
posted by troll at 11:36 PM on October 8, 2011 [6 favorites]


What they've marked as her Manchester is in fact her rhubarb triangle. A common geo-anatomical faux-pas.
posted by Abiezer at 11:45 PM on October 8, 2011 [5 favorites]


You'd need a weed whacker to get through that shit.
posted by hermitosis at 11:47 PM on October 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


To be accurate, the shape of the United Kingdom suggests a woman conscious of the size of her breasts. The shape of England suggests a nondescript dress flopped on the floor around her legs.
posted by bicyclefish at 11:47 PM on October 8, 2011 [15 favorites]


not_on_display: That's Mimal!
posted by hippugeek at 11:48 PM on October 8, 2011 [6 favorites]


can't see it - though I can see the old witch on her broom

but yeah - not England. The island of England, Scotland and Wales is Great Britain; the state is the UK. Calling it England is like calling the US "California" or the Netherlands "Holland".
posted by jb at 11:52 PM on October 8, 2011 [6 favorites]


No, the shape of England suggests a man farting on France.

More caricature maps here.
posted by verstegan at 11:56 PM on October 8, 2011 [12 favorites]


oh! I was looking for George farting on France. But it turns out that googling "England George farting" really does not pull up the right images.
posted by jb at 12:03 AM on October 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


No.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:09 AM on October 9, 2011


Harper's, I think, published a cartoon map aeons ago of the nose of the US, namely Florida, sneezing at the thing under it called Cuba.
posted by dhartung at 12:12 AM on October 9, 2011


Calling it England is like calling the US "California" or the Netherlands "Holland".

That is what's done in Japan though, particularly with Holland.
posted by Winnemac at 12:13 AM on October 9, 2011


This entire blog is great stuff. It's like what Sankaku Complex would be, if it posted interesting news and didn't splatter it with nudes. I especially enjoyed "European Philosophers Become Magical Anime Girls".
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:14 AM on October 9, 2011 [9 favorites]


Only to the lonely.
posted by Cranberry at 12:40 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


The [content] of [a MeFi post] suggests a woman conscious of the [large volume of time he is wasting on the internet, and sometimes] the size of [his] breasts.
posted by obscurator at 12:43 AM on October 9, 2011


Ha! I spent most of the day stumbling around Vancouver with a Mancunian friend, both of us hungover as shit and him calling me a cunt at every available opportunity. So thanks for this. I'm off to email him.
posted by mannequito at 12:51 AM on October 9, 2011


When did Manchester move to Leeds?
posted by devon at 1:12 AM on October 9, 2011


They mean the shape of England, Scotland and Wales.
posted by Decani at 1:35 AM on October 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


This entire blog is great stuff. It's like what Sankaku Complex would be, if it posted interesting news and didn't splatter it with nudes.

Thanks. There's a high language barrier between the English world and Japan, and I think the Web deserves to have something better than Sankaku as a bridge between Internet cultures. It's currently just me translating, so the news coverage might seem a little selective, but I'm open to any work-safe oddball stories/happy news from China, Japan, or Korea.
posted by shii at 2:18 AM on October 9, 2011 [6 favorites]


Shakespeare has a scene in The Comedy of Errors, where Dromio's complaining about having to marry a woman with a dirty arse, calloused skin, a permanent frown, a receding hairline, yellow teeth, a persistent drool, foul breath and a drunkard's nose. No wonder he's reluctant to investigate below her waist.

ANTIPHOLUS: In what part of her body stands Ireland?
DROMIO: Marry, in her buttocks: I found it out by the bogs.
ANTIPHOLUS: Where Scotland?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: I found it by the barrenness; hard in the palm of the hand.
ANTIPHOLUS: Where France?
DROMIO: In her forehead; armed and reverted, making war
against her heir.
ANTIPHOLUS: Where England?
DROMIO: I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no
whiteness in them; but I guess it stood in her chin,
by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.
ANTIPHOLUS: Where Spain?
DROMIO: Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it hot in her breath.
ANTIPHOLUS: Where America, the Indies?
DROMIO: Oh, sir, upon her nose all o'er embellished with
rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich
aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole
armadoes of caracks to be ballast at her nose.
ANTIPHOLUS: Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?
DROMIO: Oh, sir, I did not look so low.

Sounds like quite a catch, doesn't she?
posted by Paul Slade at 2:19 AM on October 9, 2011 [6 favorites]


Michigan looks like two hands. Also, Santa Cruz looks like one hand. the whole world looks like a couple hands.

On the other hand, everybody knows that Italy looks like a foot.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:58 AM on October 9, 2011


The Japanese one only works if you have Manchester in completely the wrong place, as they do.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 3:24 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Marisa: The image of Nizetche as a schoolgirl, fists clenched, teeth grinding at a spilled ice cream cone made me laugh. It should replace that photo of him staring meaningfully out into whatever tertiary syphilis makes you see in the distance or vaguely fascist art deco graphics as the default cover to his books.
posted by Grimgrin at 3:25 AM on October 9, 2011 [4 favorites]


Metafilter: fucking otaku
posted by quoquo at 3:33 AM on October 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


But aren't all women conscious of the size of their breasts? I mean, you'd have to be to buy a bra (assuming you wear one).
posted by maxwelton at 4:06 AM on October 9, 2011


It's a man riding a pig chasing after a Yorkshire Terrier that's running on its hind legs. Isn't it obvious?
posted by vbfg at 4:08 AM on October 9, 2011


1) That's not England, it's Great Britain, and I think you've angered all the Scots and Welsh people on Metafilter.

2) This is stupid; the island immediately looks like a crone riding a pig without one having to squint or draw lines on it.
posted by nowonmai at 4:09 AM on October 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


Manchester is nowhere near where they've placed it.
posted by gene_machine at 4:12 AM on October 9, 2011


I've always thought New Jersey looked like Frankenstein's head
posted by Renoroc at 4:31 AM on October 9, 2011


America is Canada's tramp stamp.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:35 AM on October 9, 2011


James Gillray: John Bull Bombarding the Bum-Boats.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 4:36 AM on October 9, 2011


But aren't all women conscious of the size of their breasts? I mean, you'd have to be to buy a bra (assuming you wear one).

Japanese trope: young woman realizes man finds her attractive, reacts with Total Surprise, a Comely Blush, and the Modest Breast-Covering Pose seen here.
posted by sonic meat machine at 4:50 AM on October 9, 2011


Wisconsin: It's the state in the middle, shaped like a mitten.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:06 AM on October 9, 2011


But I'd always heard she had a nice pair of Bristols.
posted by benito.strauss at 5:17 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


1) That's not England, it's Great Britain, and I think you've angered all the Scots and Welsh people on Metafilter.

...and the English, who always have their country confused with the UK too.
posted by Jehan at 5:37 AM on October 9, 2011


But where's her map of Tasmania? fnarrr fnarrr
posted by the noob at 6:01 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


@quoquo

Yes! I like it too! *bares teeth*
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 6:15 AM on October 9, 2011


She's clearly, like, 12 — which is weird on a whole bunch of levels. Also, of all cities to misplace on a map of Great Britain in the shape of a little girl staring at her smallish breasts, the crotch of the dress is NOT where I'd place Manchester.

I live in York, which according to this map, IS apparently located somewhere in the crotch region of an tweenage girl.

Can I also add that I just don't get this at all?

posted by iamkimiam at 7:06 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've eaten gruel with more substance than this post. Gruel in the shape of barely pubescent girls attempting without conspicuous success to dissemble their blooming buds and blossoming groves from curious fauns who enjoy appreciating this sensual display in a cartographic format.

Which is why I keep my street directory firmly stowed in the glove box while driving. Inappropriate arousal while reading maps might work passably well with an automatic transmission, but with a manual shift it's one damned lever too many to tug on.
posted by Wolof at 7:19 AM on October 9, 2011 [5 favorites]


This is neat, thanks for the post. I love seeing images evolve like that. I love the calligraphy strips in Sinfest for much the same reason.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:29 AM on October 9, 2011


The stupidest part of this article is that the crux of it - the salacious part - is completely imagined out of thin air. Nothing at all on the map suggests the hand/arm position (neither on her breasts nor her crotch).

It's really just a well-drawn variation of a schoolboy drawing a dick and balls onto random figures in his textbook.
posted by IAmBroom at 7:34 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yes, nothing says Internet like the word "BOOBS" crudely scrawled on a picture, with an arrow pointing to where you'd like to see some boobs.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:56 AM on October 9, 2011 [7 favorites]


America: Canada's shorts.
posted by sephira at 8:05 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Look ma, no overlays: Sweden and Finland, the cock-and-balls of the EU.
posted by Anything at 8:24 AM on October 9, 2011 [3 favorites]


Well, that's the most misbegottenly contrived pack of tripe I've seen today.*
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 9:13 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've always seen England as a big island. Note: I am not an artist.
posted by tommasz at 9:26 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Have you considered LSD?
posted by mazola at 10:15 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Digging this up from the Strange Maps archives, Continental Europe as Marge Simpson.
posted by Space Coyote at 10:33 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh, Manchester - so much to answer for.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:43 PM on October 9, 2011


To connoisseurs of hentai, everything reminds them of pre-pubescent women, and especially of their breasts.
posted by falcon at 12:56 PM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm curious, why did you deliberately change the title of the linked blog post from
"The shape of the UK suggests a woman conscious of the size of her breasts"
to
"The shape of England suggests a woman conscious of the size of her breasts" ?

It's not as if you don't know that Wales, at least, exists.
posted by humph at 1:51 PM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


The shape of England suggests a decapitated woman conscious of the size of her breasts.
posted by Seiten Taisei at 2:48 PM on October 9, 2011


http://aya.shii.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/map1.gif

I'd like everyone to take a good, hard look at that and just TRY not to get dumber.
posted by 3FLryan at 2:52 PM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


The shape of Great Britain suggests, in this case, an enormous flowery hat and a lot of pettcoats being worn by practically anyone doing practically anything; the details are entirely provided by the artist, not the geography.
posted by George_Spiggott at 2:54 PM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hitler. Hitler wearing an enormous flowery hat and a lot of pettcoats.

Do I win?
posted by XMLicious at 3:24 PM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Is this some Hetalia thing?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:41 PM on October 9, 2011


Zun teaches geopolitics.tga
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 11:59 PM on October 9, 2011


the details are entirely provided by the artist

One of the reasons I like art is because artists see things that aren't really there.
posted by Wolfdog at 4:31 AM on October 10, 2011


Thank you, Metafilter, for opening my eyes to use of 'rhubarb triangle' as a euphemism.
posted by monkey closet at 7:58 AM on October 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Thank you, Metafilter, for opening my eyes to use of 'rhubarb triangle' as a euphemism.

Jimmy Carr was there first - as the QI clip below will demonstrate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBF40bQCd_4
posted by Paul Slade at 6:46 AM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


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