Ira Glass Sex Tape

October 11, 2011 1:34 PM

Ira Glass Sex Tape
posted by finite (127 comments total)

Never have I been less inclined to click on a link.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:34 PM on October 11, 2011 [99 favorites]

I thought once you work for NPR they sand off anything below the waist and you end up smooth and worry free.
posted by The Whelk at 1:35 PM on October 11, 2011 [28 favorites]

Act one... kissing. Act two... hand under the bra... act three...
posted by bondcliff at 1:36 PM on October 11, 2011 [56 favorites]

Ira Glass Sex Tape

Also known as an hour of foreplay, followed by a pledge drive, followed by another hour of foreplay.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:38 PM on October 11, 2011 [70 favorites]

Also known as an hour of foreplay, followed by a pledge drive, followed by another hour of foreplay.

.....
So is this not how it's supposed to work?
posted by MangyCarface at 1:40 PM on October 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

Actually, the pledge drive came first.
posted by yeolcoatl at 1:40 PM on October 11, 2011 [12 favorites]

lol. who cares what it links to, that's Post of the Year
posted by facetious at 1:40 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

>Actually, the pledge drive came first.

The pledge drive always comes first.
posted by mosk at 1:41 PM on October 11, 2011 [17 favorites]

an hour of foreplay, followed by a pledge drive, followed by another hour of foreplay.

Followed by the Car Talk guys laughing at you for an hour.
posted by bondcliff at 1:41 PM on October 11, 2011 [44 favorites]

I recently watched the Nova episode on Watson, IBM's Jeopardy-playing AI. Since then, I've been thinking about the implications of strings of words. How would a computer interpret that sentence?

Without any context, it could as well be a Markovian nonsense string of words. Is this a demo video for modern art by the Irish Republican Army, who, since becoming a peaceful group, are now an artistic collective, and Glass Sex is the topic of their artwork? Is Ira Glass selling Sex Tape, a novel competitor to Mr. Zog's Sex Wax surfwax?
posted by filthy light thief at 1:42 PM on October 11, 2011 [7 favorites]

Goddammit, now my grindcore band has to find a new name. Thanks a lot.
posted by griphus at 1:43 PM on October 11, 2011 [26 favorites]

Fun Fact: The boyfriend in Lynda Barry’s popular story "Head Lice and My Worst Boyfriend" is Ira Glass.
posted by not_on_display at 1:43 PM on October 11, 2011 [36 favorites]

The best part of the Fresh Air sex tape is when Dave Davies tags in.
posted by drezdn at 1:43 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Not bad. The Kasper Hauser ones are better.
posted by 7segment at 1:44 PM on October 11, 2011 [6 favorites]

Wait, is this Jonathan Goldstein on Wiretap or actually Ira Glass?
posted by GuyZero at 1:45 PM on October 11, 2011

Act three, The Aristocrats

When
Our
Program
Continues
posted by R. Schlock at 1:48 PM on October 11, 2011 [14 favorites]

Garrison Keillor Sex Tape
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:48 PM on October 11, 2011

...the Wiener circle...
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:49 PM on October 11, 2011

Garrison Keillor Sex Tape

I could get lost in that man's beard for hours. *sigh*
posted by drezdn at 1:51 PM on October 11, 2011

The voices are really interesting on this - I assume they're all imitations - and all of them except for Ira are spot on. I'm actually reconsidering whether they're all fake. Even the sound quality on the others is perfect, while Ira's is just awful.
posted by odinsdream at 1:51 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Parody is supposed to be distinguishable from the thing being parodied.
posted by rusty at 1:52 PM on October 11, 2011 [6 favorites]

Ira Glass does not have sex.

Ira Glass merely talks purposefully.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:52 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hm, is it all just clip arrangement?
posted by odinsdream at 1:52 PM on October 11, 2011

"I did Ira Glass and all I got was this lousy totebag."
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 1:53 PM on October 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

I could get lost in that man's beard for hours. *sigh*

And his beard's names have been Mary, Ulla, Jenny and Margaret.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:54 PM on October 11, 2011 [10 favorites]

Ira's voice is that of an imitator. Terri Gross' voice sounds like its her own, all spliced together from episodes of her show.
posted by notyou at 1:54 PM on October 11, 2011

Paul Harvey's Bong Tape
posted by not_on_display at 1:55 PM on October 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

I could get lost in that man's beard for hours. *sigh*

Meant to link to a pic.
posted by drezdn at 1:56 PM on October 11, 2011

I have a 39-song Spotify playlist with all of the overused mood music I could find. I like to listen to it on shuffle and feel my emotions swing from "sort of quirky and funny" to "overwhelming despair."
posted by theodolite at 1:56 PM on October 11, 2011 [10 favorites]

Here's a little background. The only imitated voice is Glass's. The rest are clips.
posted by dortmunder at 1:57 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I have a 39-song Spotify playlist with all of the overused yt mood yt music yt I could find. I like to listen to it on shuffle and feel my emotions swing from "sort of quirky and funny" to "overwhelming despair."

Oooh, I love this idea. I would love to get the MP3s from all of them.
posted by odinsdream at 1:58 PM on October 11, 2011

Act 1: Cut a hole in the box.
posted by zombieflanders at 1:59 PM on October 11, 2011 [14 favorites]

I love this.
posted by ColdChef at 1:59 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Alright, this is really, really, really good. Almost too good of a match to the real show.
posted by odinsdream at 2:00 PM on October 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

odinsdream: If you have Spotify you can listen to it here.
posted by theodolite at 2:01 PM on October 11, 2011 [5 favorites]

I had to pause this at least twice, but I was able to get myself together and go on. It was worth it. Just. So. Wrong.
posted by Xoebe at 2:02 PM on October 11, 2011

I'm at work, but when I get home I'll click. Oh how I'll click.

This makes me giggly, and... giddy for some reason: Fun Fact: The boyfriend in Lynda Barry’s popular story "Head Lice and My Worst Boyfriend" is Ira Glass.
posted by Specklet at 2:02 PM on October 11, 2011

Not bad. The Kasper Hauser ones are better.

Oh my GOD... tears of laughter...
posted by odinsdream at 2:03 PM on October 11, 2011

Haaad to skip minute 8...otherwise pitch-perfect.
posted by obscurator at 2:04 PM on October 11, 2011

"No thank you, Lakshmi S."
posted by waraw at 2:11 PM on October 11, 2011 [6 favorites]

Thanks, theodolite, that playlist is great work background music...
posted by twsf at 2:12 PM on October 11, 2011

If you listen to Marc Maron's podcast you'd know that not only does Ira have sex but he also gets black-out drunk in public and then vomits on himself.
posted by photoslob at 2:15 PM on October 11, 2011 [7 favorites]

Fun Fact: The boyfriend in Lynda Barry’s popular story "Head Lice and My Worst Boyfriend" is Ira Glass.

For his part, Ira has copped to being the insufferable asshole he is portrayed as in that comic.

"I was an idiot. I was in the wrong. About the breakup...About so many things with her. Anything bad she says about me I can confirm."
posted by to sir with millipedes at 2:16 PM on October 11, 2011 [13 favorites]

but he also gets black-out drunk in public and then vomits on himself.

I would pay good money to see this in person.
posted by The Whelk at 2:21 PM on October 11, 2011

I would rather listen to Wait, Wait, Don't Come Yet than listen to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 2:24 PM on October 11, 2011 [11 favorites]

this is so good
posted by exlotuseater at 2:24 PM on October 11, 2011

This is a thing I don't understand.
posted by clvrmnky at 2:28 PM on October 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

theodolite (or someone else with access to theodolite's playlist), is there a way you could cut-and-paste the Spotify playlist for those of us in countries who can't use it? There are a couple of the commonly used interstitial pieces from TAL that I've always wanted to hunt down.
posted by dubitoergosum at 2:29 PM on October 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

Awesome - whoever played Alex Bloomberg has got him down pat.
posted by adrianhon at 2:43 PM on October 11, 2011

odinsdream: If you have Spotify you can listen to it here.


That playlist doesn't, but should, include WHY's - "A Sky for Shoeing Horses Under," which is on TAL and NPR constantly.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 2:48 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

The voices are really interesting on this - I assume they're all imitations - and all of them except for Ira are spot on. I'm actually reconsidering whether they're all fake. Even the sound quality on the others is perfect, while Ira's is just awful.
posted by odinsdream at 4:51 PM on October 11 [+] [!]

the SO and I are pretty sure that only Ira Glass was impersonated - everyone else was clever editting of their real voices. Note that only Glass mentions the sex tape itself.

The Ira Glass impersonator didn't have quite the same resonance as Ira Glass, but he had the intonation and style down almost perfectly. It was eerie -- and frankly, I was all embaressed in the middle because it sounded like Ira Glass. Or maybe it's just that talking about making a sex tape is funny, whereas impersonating real people having actual sex is creepy.
posted by jb at 2:49 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is awesome even though I am maybe 'not in the moment enough' to fully understand all the nuances- and the lynda barry cartoon- total bonus! Hilarious. And now I am going to call all future bad boyfriends 'white katus'...even though no one else will think it's funny. Sigh.

Also...I didn't think intellectuals with nasal voices were sexy (even ones with the testosterone of 2 linebackers) but after all those glasses close-ups of Ira and those of his friends as well...well, I maybe just have changed my proverbial spots. And now I am also gonna worry that my head is itchy. Thanks again metafilter!
posted by bquarters at 2:49 PM on October 11, 2011

Followed by the Car Talk guys laughing at you for an hour.

Thanks for ruining every remaining sexy time in my life.
posted by cmoj at 2:50 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ira Glass is impersonated, everyone else is sound bites from the real people taken from various episodes.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 2:51 PM on October 11, 2011

Ira Glass Sex Tape

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
posted by loquacious at 2:51 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I could get lost in that man's beard for hours. *sigh*

Careful. I'm pretty sure he's been lost in his own beard for over 40 years.
posted by loquacious at 2:52 PM on October 11, 2011 [7 favorites]

Okay, I thought this was going to be tedious and stupid but I'm literally laughing out loud at my desk. Well played, well played. The samples make it perfect.
posted by heresiarch at 2:55 PM on October 11, 2011

I'm waiting for Planet Moneyshot.
posted by diogenes at 2:58 PM on October 11, 2011 [7 favorites]

I was having a very grumpy day and this is cheering me tremendously. Thanks. :]
posted by fiercecupcake at 2:59 PM on October 11, 2011

Morning Wood Edition
posted by diogenes at 3:00 PM on October 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

You know, it just seems like in life there are two kinds of people. There's the golden boys, you know, who seem to get what they want. And then—there are the other boys. There are the pizza boys. Starting next week here on WBEZ, we'll have two different radio pizza shops, different in name anyway. One will be run by the golden boy, and the other will be right here at eight o'clock. The Wild Room. With me. Gary Covino. Your radio pizza boy."

Oh, but the article posted by to sir with millipedes quoting his former radio partner paints a less rosy picture of Glass. Now I'm conflicted again. Hmm. Off for more Ira Glass wikipedia-ing.
posted by bquarters at 3:00 PM on October 11, 2011

The Terri Gross clips come from her interview with Gene Simmons.
posted by modernserf at 3:01 PM on October 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

All Shlongs Considered
posted by diogenes at 3:04 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I totally think of Ira Glass in nothing but his glasses and now really want a poster of him on my wall.
posted by Blasdelb at 3:07 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Diane Rehmed? I got nothin'
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:08 PM on October 11, 2011

At "and, um, next to that we have a winky face" I was sold.
posted by KathrynT at 3:12 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Radio Labia? Sexytime Friday?
posted by drezdn at 3:16 PM on October 11, 2011

Wait! Wait! Don't... Oh. You Did.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:24 PM on October 11, 2011 [5 favorites]

...and even though Ira Glass scours Missed Connections frantically for references to hipster glasses every time we say it, this is National Public Radio, you're listening to Car Talk.
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:25 PM on October 11, 2011 [11 favorites]

Weak end Addition
posted by drezdn at 3:27 PM on October 11, 2011

Oooh. Ooooh. Do a Radiolab show about premature ejRadiolab show on. Premature. Oh my god you're finished? Ejacand then he was done. It was almostaculation. -musical break-
posted by eyeballkid at 3:27 PM on October 11, 2011 [18 favorites]

That video is on 11:13.
posted by cjorgensen at 3:28 PM on October 11, 2011

This is really really funny.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:30 PM on October 11, 2011

HAHAHAHAHA! HA! HAH!

/uncomfortable fake laughter
posted by zephyr_words at 3:31 PM on October 11, 2011

Prairie Home Cumpanion
posted by drezdn at 3:32 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

The Sound of Young America having Sex
posted by drezdn at 3:32 PM on October 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

This is really, really spot-on.
posted by brundlefly at 3:38 PM on October 11, 2011

Shouldn't David Sederis have provided a contribution in act 3?
posted by humanfont at 3:40 PM on October 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

"The Stamburgler" had me making that inhaling/snorting laugh.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:41 PM on October 11, 2011

Is this something I would need a radio to understand? /HAMBURGER

kinda off topic, but does anyone know if we can either add tracks to a spotify playlist or crowdsource one? There are few tracks that I've sourced that aren't in Theodolites otherwise awesome playlist, and I'd love to put together a canonical TAL playlist...
posted by gofargogo at 3:50 PM on October 11, 2011

also, shouldn't we point out that Ira Glass isn't an NPR host? He works for WBEZ, and the show is distributed by PRI

/public radio pendant
posted by jb at 3:51 PM on October 11, 2011 [5 favorites]

/public radio pendant
Moments like this are why we should never, ever introduce an edit window.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:53 PM on October 11, 2011 [16 favorites]

never claymed I could spell
posted by jb at 3:56 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I wish I had opted for the pendant instead of the tote bag.
posted by brundlefly at 3:59 PM on October 11, 2011 [5 favorites]

moar like david sedarass amirite?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:00 PM on October 11, 2011

I was going to tap it, brother.

Awesome.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:27 PM on October 11, 2011

You should have held out for the Nina Totenbag.
posted by waitangi at 4:29 PM on October 11, 2011 [7 favorites]

Uncanny.
posted by arcticwoman at 4:30 PM on October 11, 2011

They called me Mr. Glass.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:37 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Diane Ream Kojo back to back! How does that work?
posted by humanfont at 5:08 PM on October 11, 2011

Kasper Hauser is not funny. Not even a little bit.
posted by runcibleshaw at 5:28 PM on October 11, 2011

At work recently, I was told by a member of the public that I sound like Terri Gross. I derived an unseemly amount of nerdly pleasure from this. I'd rather that she'd said that I displayed a Nina Totenberg-level of discernment but I'll take what I can get.
posted by Morrigan at 5:47 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I was hesitant, but that was spot on. Hysterical.
posted by dejah420 at 5:54 PM on October 11, 2011

Totally worth it if only for, "or as I like to call it, your NPR member station."
posted by gladly at 6:16 PM on October 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

That voice must be Myq Kaplan's. Would bet you a Nina Toten-bag on it.
posted by wowbobwow at 6:25 PM on October 11, 2011

Without clicking on the link, I already know--people recounting what they thought sex was when they were seven.
posted by Ironmouth at 6:26 PM on October 11, 2011

Oh God that was funny. The guy pretending to be Ira had his intonation and vocal tics down pat.

But damn, if you really expect me to suspend my disbelief, you can't say Act One, you have to say ACK One.

(I do love Ira Glass, but that bugs me. Every. Damned. Week.)
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 6:55 PM on October 11, 2011

Oooh. Ooooh. Do a Radiolab show about premature ejRadiolab show on. Premature. Oh my god you're finished? Ejacand then he was done. It was almostaculation. -musical break-

Oh my god seriously this is why Radiolab = headaches for me. Always overlapping sound cue sound cue word splice manic gigglegigglegiggle WNYC.
posted by psoas at 7:04 PM on October 11, 2011

Fun Fact: The boyfriend in Lynda Barry’s popular story "Head Lice and My Worst Boyfriend" is Ira Glass.

Why, oh why, did this relationship not work out? That makes 0 sense.
posted by Miko at 7:07 PM on October 11, 2011

I am a huuuuuge public radio junkie. I have three radios in the house and all are tuned to NPR affiliates, as are the bottom 3 buttons in the car. I download podcasts from public radio networks and listen to them as I walk to the train and on the train on the way to work. I go on their websites and link their episodes on Facebook. I never miss an episode of TAL, even if I have to catch up on 5 or 6 in a couple of days. And yet, I didn't have the patience to stay with this parody. I respect the labor of love that went into it, and the phrasing, if not the tone, of the Ira impersonator, but I couldn't hang with it.

Oh my god seriously this is why Radiolab = headaches for me. Always overlapping sound cue sound cue word splice manic gigglegigglegiggle WNYC.

Radiolab's topics are great but I agree, dial back the editing to about an 8. The present level of 11 is a bit much.
posted by Miko at 7:12 PM on October 11, 2011

Ira Glass should narrate A Softer World strips if they get made into movies
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 7:29 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

"I did Ira Glass and all I got was this lousy Nina Totenberg."
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:40 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

ah, already done. carry on...
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:40 PM on October 11, 2011

Ya know - I really hate that there's a public radio guy w/the name Ira, because I always keep thinking of Ira Flatow, and then of course I'm thinking ... Oh my goodness!
posted by symbioid at 7:49 PM on October 11, 2011

is it weird that it started to get me hot by act 3?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:10 PM on October 11, 2011

dubitoergosum: "theodolite (or someone else with access to theodolite's playlist), is there a way you could cut-and-paste the Spotify playlist for those of us in countries who can't use it? There are a couple of the commonly used interstitial pieces from TAL that I've always wanted to hunt down."

I've made screenshots of theodolite's playlist: Part 1, Part 2.
posted by ocherdraco at 8:19 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Thanks to theodolite for creating that playlist and to ocherdraco for creating it. I didn't realize Spotify required a Facebook account to even use it, so unfortunately that's out.
posted by odinsdream at 8:43 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

(and to ocherdraco for creating screenshotting it)
posted by odinsdream at 8:43 PM on October 11, 2011

on the playlist tip: you can make it collaborative, so I'm gonna add some tracks that I've uncovered. If there are any others we're missing, let me know.
posted by gofargogo at 8:46 PM on October 11, 2011

For a while there they really loved the Donnie Darko instrumental soundtrack.
posted by The Whelk at 8:54 PM on October 11, 2011

TAL uses the beginning of this a lot, and I don't see it on the spotify playlist.
posted by rabbitbookworm at 10:46 PM on October 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Also, many of the non-Glass voices are from the show Testosterone.
posted by rabbitbookworm at 10:53 PM on October 11, 2011

Thanks for the playlist and screenshots, theodolite and ocherdraco.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:12 PM on October 11, 2011

odinsdream: "I didn't realize Spotify required a Facebook account to even use it, so unfortunately that's out."

Huh? It didn't require one a few weeks ago when I got it. Are you sure?
posted by ocherdraco at 11:39 PM on October 11, 2011

Oh, and if, having read the Lynda Barry thing, anyone's wondering about Ira Glass with long hair...
posted by ocherdraco at 11:42 PM on October 11, 2011

Fun Fact: The boyfriend in Lynda Barry’s popular story "Head Lice and My Worst Boyfriend" is Ira Glass.

For his part, Ira has copped to being the insufferable asshole he is portrayed as in that comic.

I feel so much worse about Ira Glass after reading that.

And reading the comic.

And about the ponytail.
posted by Auden at 1:14 AM on October 12, 2011

Never heard of this guy. His voice is kind of annoying, but otherwise, I think he's rather attractive. Or is the joke about pretending he's not?
posted by Goofyy at 4:06 AM on October 12, 2011

a Radiolab show about premature ejRadiolab show on. Premature. Oh my god you're finished? Ejacand then he was d--

SHORTS
posted by unregistered_animagus at 4:46 AM on October 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

I've seen Ira as he was going into a subway station in Manhattan and I was emerging from same. I had to do a double take:

Take 1 - Hey, that's Ira Glass!
Take 2 - Wow, he's really hawt!
posted by droplet at 5:00 AM on October 12, 2011

Huh? It didn't require one a few weeks ago when I got it. Are you sure?

I couldn't find a way around it. I found a few blurbs and forum postings confirming that it's no longer optional.
posted by odinsdream at 5:46 AM on October 12, 2011

Yeah, apparently Spotify now requires Facebook. It sitting was on my "check it out" list when I saw the announcement a few days ago, probably on Slashdot. Bummer.
posted by benito.strauss at 6:08 AM on October 12, 2011

Thanks for the playlist theodolite, I was just thinking I'd like something like that the other day. And yeah, I fear the requirement for new subscribers to have Facebook (us existing ones don't need it) could be the death of Spotify. Hopefully I'm wrong.
posted by chill at 9:50 AM on October 12, 2011

LOLaious
posted by nola at 7:37 PM on October 12, 2011

I did my best to replicate this playlist on Rdio -

This American M#@$%$# Life.
posted by ydant at 6:49 AM on October 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

ydant: Thanks for creating that alternative! I'm listening right now. Very nice.
posted by odinsdream at 7:26 AM on October 13, 2011

Ira Glass responds to the Ira Glass Sex Tape
posted by gladly at 4:29 PM on October 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Heh:

I've listened to about three minutes of it. His imitation of my writing and delivery are so dead-on, it was hard to keep listening and I stopped. If I had to articulate why, I think it was because hearing his version of me, made what I do on the air seem kind of dumb. And the impersonation was so good, I couldn't really pick a fight with it. So I had to decide, do I want to see myself as kind of trite and dumb? Seemed better to stop. Maybe I'll go back sometime.

posted by delmoi at 2:02 AM on October 25, 2011