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Real Housewives of South Boston
October 18, 2011 9:12 AM   Subscribe

The Real Housewives of South Boston (NSF... well, anybody, really.)
posted by backseatpilot (56 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
As a former Bostonian, my laughter was soon replaced by uncontrollabe shuddering with a twinge of self loathing.
posted by Awakened at 9:16 AM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


Southie-wives.
posted by spicynuts at 9:17 AM on October 18, 2011


Wickedretahded.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 9:17 AM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]




"Fahckin'.... that's messed up, n shit."

posted by armoir from antproof case at 9:22 AM on October 18, 2011


I dunno, I thought the first 30 seconds were kinda important.
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:23 AM on October 18, 2011 [5 favorites]


This is totally unrealistic.

The Red Sox keep scoring home runs.
posted by koeselitz at 9:25 AM on October 18, 2011 [12 favorites]


wicked retahded? wicked conceited? or wicked pissah?
posted by rmd1023 at 9:26 AM on October 18, 2011


This discourages me.
posted by Silo004 at 9:28 AM on October 18, 2011


This post somehow just seems to need a Dogmatics link.

(Yeah, I know, Dorchester / south shore band ... so what?)
posted by ZenMasterThis at 9:32 AM on October 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


The big head-scratcher for me is the ratio of bleeped:non-bleeped expletives...roughly 1:10
posted by obscurator at 9:35 AM on October 18, 2011


Metafilter: Yeah yeah, we get it, you were raped by a wooden penis, HOME RUN!
posted by delfin at 9:38 AM on October 18, 2011 [5 favorites]


It's OK to make fun of poor people if they're white, right? Homerun.
posted by outlaw of averages at 9:43 AM on October 18, 2011 [4 favorites]


Wow. I was prepared to find this ridiculous. But being from Boston, I have to say that this is ... scarily accurate.
posted by lunasol at 9:43 AM on October 18, 2011 [3 favorites]


Paul Pierce is the Truth.
posted by Dick Laurent is Dead at 9:49 AM on October 18, 2011


It's OK to make fun of poor people if they're white, right? Homerun.

It's OK to erect strawmen and pose all righteous, right?
posted by victors at 9:50 AM on October 18, 2011 [5 favorites]


+1 for the nomar jersey, -1 for the lack of bledsoe
i miss boston
posted by nathancaswell at 9:51 AM on October 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


metafilter: erect strawmen
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:52 AM on October 18, 2011 [6 favorites]


oh shit, i was scrubbing it and it was a troy brown, +2 for troy brown
posted by nathancaswell at 9:52 AM on October 18, 2011


Never understood the Boston/New York rivalry. Why can't Boston have its rivalry with a city closer to its size, like Cleveland, or Tulsa?
posted by 1adam12 at 9:54 AM on October 18, 2011 [5 favorites]


"Next to the old gas station that was set on fire by black kids."

My aunt (from Boston) has said those exact words in actual conversation.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:55 AM on October 18, 2011 [12 favorites]


"Why can't Boston have its rivalry with a city closer to its size, like Cleveland, or Tulsa?"

Rivalries can be based on the size of imaginary penises.
posted by oddman at 9:57 AM on October 18, 2011


Why can't Boston have its rivalry with a city closer to its size, like Cleveland, or Tulsa?

Because neither Cleveland nor Tulsa have won 7 World Series', 3 Superbowls rings, 17 NBA Titles and 6 Stanley Cups. Boom.
posted by nathancaswell at 10:00 AM on October 18, 2011 [7 favorites]


I got Cheetos, Fritos... Where the Doritos!?
posted by rebent at 10:01 AM on October 18, 2011


hmmm....that was a parody?

Minus the conspicuous consumptive lifestyle of the real shows, it is otherwise not all that different.
posted by lampshade at 10:02 AM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


Doo doo doo, lookin' out my back door.
posted by theredpen at 10:08 AM on October 18, 2011


It's OK to make fun of poor people if they're white, right? Homerun.
posted by outlaw of averages at 5:43 PM on October 18


No, but it's okay to make fun of morons of any colour or income level. In fact, it's kind of a duty.
posted by Decani at 10:10 AM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


outlaw of averages: “It's OK to make fun of poor people if they're white, right? Homerun.”

I would be more bothered by it if I didn't have a strong suspicion that the few people I knew back in southie would find this hilarious and awesome.

1adam12: “Never understood the Boston/New York rivalry. Why can't Boston have its rivalry with a city closer to its size, like Cleveland, or Tulsa?”

The greater Boston area has a population of about 4.5 million people, and is the tenth largest metropolitan area in the United states. Tulsa has a population of less than 1 million people, and Cleveland has a population of about two and a quarter million. In other words: Cleveland and Tulsa are significantly smaller than Boston.

New York has about 8 million people, and is admittedly the largest city in the US. However, Boston has more people than any other city on the east coast besides New York. If somebody is going to have a rivalry with New York, and population and geographical location are supposed to determine that rivalry, then that somebody ought to be Boston.
posted by koeselitz at 10:16 AM on October 18, 2011 [9 favorites]


Shh. NY MSA is 19 mil not 8. That's just NYC proper. Phlly, Atlanta and DC MSAs are also bigger than the Boston MSA.

If you use the broader CSA definiton Boston is 7.5 vs NY at 22. DC is still bigger but Philly and Ataland are not.

Source
posted by JPD at 10:32 AM on October 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


Aha! Thanks, JPD.

Still, Tulsa and Cleveland are far behind.
posted by koeselitz at 10:36 AM on October 18, 2011


Because it requires a city the size of New York to begin to compete on brain power, duh. Maybe watch the video next time before commentin', ya sped.
posted by yerfatma at 10:39 AM on October 18, 2011


From watching both The Fighter and The Town I can tell that this is very accurate.
posted by alby at 10:43 AM on October 18, 2011


Didn't Saturday Night Live do this, better, in the early 2000s?
posted by spicynuts at 10:47 AM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also where is Tawwmy from Quinzee. He loves a woman in a football sawx jersey.
posted by JPD at 11:04 AM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


I used to work with a kickass line cook from Dorchester when I was cooking. He mentioned that the boys from NKOTB were legitimate in their ascendancy - that yeah, they came from nothing, that the town and neighborhood propped them up, but that they (and Marky Marc and the Funky Bunch) built their careers from nothing. I asked him if he knew them and he paused and said yeah, that everybody in the neighborhood did... sort of an end of conversation -- it trailed off or got busy, or whatever.

So a month goes by, we're doing final prep - maybe 30 minutes before service, and some guy comes from from off the street and hollers to Bill from the server side of the line. Bill turns around from the grill, sorta gets a little irish red, puffs up his chest slightly and fist bumps the guy saying "Hey Donnie." in a very familiar way... they chat for 10-15 minutes, and I and another guy pick up and Bill's remaining prep.

Long story short, the guys from southie that made it legitimately made it and they kept to their roots. Yeah, Donnie ate there that night, at the best table, with the best server, with a ton of stuff sent to him (comped) from the kitchen, but he showed his respect back to Bill (and the rest of the kitchen). In my time cooking there only he, Alan's Morissette, and Al Franken came down to chat, say hi, or otherwise interact with the people cooking their food in a real, very down to earth non-superficial way...

So yeah, the fact that these ladies are doing this is hilarious, semi accurate to how deep the roots of Southie are, and well ... they're funny. On top of it, I'd bet southie as a whole would find this hilarious - if it didn't self-saterizingly originate from there.
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:18 AM on October 18, 2011 [5 favorites]


It's OK to make fun of poor people if they're white, right? Homerun.

Come down to Southie and interact with my people for a bit. The funny never stops.
posted by jsavimbi at 11:27 AM on October 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


Alan's Morissette

This is my favorite bird to birdwatch. So colorful!
posted by adamdschneider at 11:43 AM on October 18, 2011 [7 favorites]


You know, I'd enjoy hanging out with these broads and knocking back some cold Bud.
posted by Xoebe at 12:31 PM on October 18, 2011


But, but, but ... rape joke! That was funnier than dick wolves?
posted by Dano St at 1:27 PM on October 18, 2011


Why can't Boston have its rivalry with a city closer to its size, like Cleveland, or Tulsa?

Because neither Cleveland nor Tulsa have won 7 World Series', 3 Superbowls rings, 17 NBA Titles and 6 Stanley Cups. Boom.



Umm...

29 World Series, 2 NBA Championships, 8 Super Bowls, 8 Stanley Cups, and the Yankees' record against the Sox is 1,132–954–14. Boom. Boom.
posted by 4ster at 1:33 PM on October 18, 2011


What does that have to do with our fledgling rivalry with Cleveland and Tulsa?
posted by nathancaswell at 1:40 PM on October 18, 2011


Because neither Cleveland nor Tulsa have won 7 World Series', 3 Superbowls rings, 17 NBA Titles and 6 Stanley Cups. Boom.

29 World Series, 2 NBA Championships, 8 Super Bowls, 8 Stanley Cups, and the Yankees' record against the Sox is 1,132–954–14. Boom. Boom.

You guys probably should have left the Stanley Cup numbers out of that. You're embarrassing yourselves.
posted by The World Famous at 1:48 PM on October 18, 2011


Comparing 9 NY teams to 4 Boston teams and counting pre-merger NFL Championships as Super Bowls is the only embarrassing thing going on here.
posted by nathancaswell at 1:57 PM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


Boston has: 1) MIT, 2) Harvard, 3) BU, and 4) BC. Oh, and 5) Berklee, 6) Tufts, 7) Emerson, and 8) Brandeis. Oh and 9) Northeastern and 10) UMass Boston.

Tulsa has: 1) UTulsa and 2) fries with that.

Next question?
posted by zippy at 2:15 PM on October 18, 2011


EMERSON WOOOO EMERSON
posted by nathancaswell at 2:17 PM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


The missing E is for Excellence!
posted by zippy at 2:19 PM on October 18, 2011


Emerson College: No, not that Emerson.
posted by nathancaswell at 2:24 PM on October 18, 2011


The world is small on the internet! The one young lady getting funky with "Marky Mark's cousin" was my improv coach a few years ago! She's an excellent improviser (and is from Boston).
posted by droplet at 3:19 PM on October 18, 2011 [3 favorites]


The one young lady getting funky with "Marky Mark's cousin"

I see what you did there.
posted by nathancaswell at 3:25 PM on October 18, 2011


Starring Jamie Denbo and Jessica Chaffin, who are the geniuses behind two other hilarious Bay State ladies.
posted by apricot at 4:32 PM on October 18, 2011


Meh.
posted by WickedPissah at 5:38 PM on October 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


Coincidentally, one of my coworkers is married to one of Marky Mark's cousins, and she's pretty much the opposite of that video (meaning: sweet and classy). But I still enjoyed the video.
posted by A dead Quaker at 7:07 PM on October 18, 2011


Ugh.
posted by tumid dahlia at 7:42 PM on October 18, 2011


But, but, but ... rape joke! That was funnier than dick wolves?

Yes it was funnier than dick wolves. Context is very very different. It may be one of those "you have to live there" sorts of things, but everyone from MA has a sort of "wicked pissah" character they can put on and these women sort of nailed them.
posted by jessamyn at 9:44 PM on October 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


Being good at a ball game makes one city better than another? What the hell is this, the freaking Mayan Empire?
posted by 1adam12 at 10:16 PM on October 18, 2011 [3 favorites]


Gosh, I never thought about it that way! Theyre just adults playing with balls everyone! BALLS!
posted by nathancaswell at 6:00 AM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


and the Yankees' record against the Sox is 1,132–954–14. Boom. Boom.

I'm sawry there pally, but yuh little rekkid is rendid invalid by the fawling ahgyament: YANKEES SUCK
posted by Spatch at 10:06 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]


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