You nincompoop.
October 21, 2011 1:10 PM   Subscribe

YouTube Insult Generator. Enter a keyword or phrase, and the Insult Generator will trawl YouTube for relevant videos, and pull insults from those videos. Wired write-up. [via]
posted by Phire (71 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
Wow, that's a really clever use of a really stupid meme.
posted by mccarty.tim at 1:14 PM on October 21, 2011


Wow, that's a really clever use of a really stupid meme.

You dislike the future of our planet.

You fixed electrical wires with a monkey wrench.

You are Un-American.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:19 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


You have no dreams! #
You ate a dick while watching this video. #
posted by the mad poster! at 1:19 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


You are Child Molesters.
posted by Beardman at 1:19 PM on October 21, 2011


You didn't get yogurt with Cosgrove.
posted by lumensimus at 1:21 PM on October 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


Some YouTube commenters have turned rudeness into an art form

WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE? SHOW THEM TO ME OR ADMIT THAT YOU ARE A LIAR.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 1:23 PM on October 21, 2011 [6 favorites]


You have seen instrument playing hamsters all your life and don't think this is AMAZING. They have problems.
posted by shothotbot at 1:23 PM on October 21, 2011


You did not have enough toilet paper to wipe your own butts after the kitty stole it all!
posted by pernoctalian at 1:26 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


You couldn't defeat Cortex....even if you watched a walkthrough!
posted by jedicus at 1:27 PM on October 21, 2011


Search term: metafilter
Result: No insults found!

Now there's a first.
posted by jedicus at 1:27 PM on October 21, 2011 [7 favorites]


"You took in-line dancing lessons , and failed miserably." Hey, that's actually pretty good.
posted by koeselitz at 1:28 PM on October 21, 2011


I was once told (not by my mother) that if I don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Apparently I didn't get that through my thick skull, so here we are...
posted by wierdo at 1:28 PM on October 21, 2011


I did a quick search and found this Star Trek scene. You know it's from the 1980s with the insistent saxophones.
posted by mark7570 at 1:28 PM on October 21, 2011


"You prefer looking for your future wife on the moon."

Oh snap!
posted by gordie at 1:29 PM on October 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


You are canadian coindexters that entered a race and lost #
posted by fartron at 1:33 PM on October 21, 2011


Fuck you, ass-butt!
posted by Mister_A at 1:35 PM on October 21, 2011


'beans': You were skullmonkeys who died in methane.
posted by jquinby at 1:37 PM on October 21, 2011


>kant

You dislike the fact that you must presuppose space and time in order to apprehend the phenomenal world. #
posted by ennui.bz at 1:44 PM on October 21, 2011 [6 favorites]


Apparently vast swathes of insults related to stoats remain unexplored territory.
posted by Iridic at 1:45 PM on October 21, 2011


I typed in Billy Joel and got: You are a STRANGER to good music.

Damn that's clever.
posted by matt755811 at 1:47 PM on October 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


One of the results for "Lady Gaga" made me really lol...

Younes ont de la merde dans les oreilles !! 175 people have shit in your ears ...! #
posted by GavinR at 1:56 PM on October 21, 2011


Sam Rockwell:

You doesn't have the feelin. #

You SUCKS #

You should be attacked by aliens #
posted by penduluum at 1:57 PM on October 21, 2011


Oh man Carl Sagan ones are the best:

You can't invent the universe. #
You who do not deserve science and the wonders it has wrought. #
You want our species to stay and die on this rock. #
You believe that Carl Sagan is an anti Christ. #
You are... aw who gives a shit. #
You can´t see tesseract´s 4 dimensions #

posted by sarahnade at 1:58 PM on October 21, 2011 [3 favorites]


You don't know what good music is.
posted by empath at 2:07 PM on October 21, 2011


So funny, was just looking at this today when researching its programmer, Chicagoan Adrian Holovaty, who was the person behind EveryBlock.
posted by jeanmari at 2:20 PM on October 21, 2011


Searching...

Zing!
posted by Sys Rq at 2:21 PM on October 21, 2011


Tupac's pretty good (I especially like the last one)

You's are in illuminati #
You don't like this cos you don't want this world to change!!! #
You dont love your moms. #
You dont like california..:// #
You need to die and go to thug mansion #
You r retards and r hater and i know my grammar is shit but thats only on typeing and text #
You think you're untouchable. #
You are touchable #
You only have 1pac #
posted by dismas at 2:24 PM on October 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


Typed in "metallica"

You don't have igloo

I'm SO CONFUSED
posted by 3FLryan at 2:25 PM on October 21, 2011


Yous doesn't love Finnish music and that means good music. A Million nights all of them will feel ashamed....
posted by mannequito at 2:30 PM on October 21, 2011


3FLryan: You don't have igloo

Oh fuck, that's cold.
posted by gman at 2:31 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Someone needs to wire this straight into Outkube.com.
posted by adamrice at 2:31 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


You dont have a phone so much for kissing there girlfriend thru the phone haha
posted by joe lisboa at 2:40 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is amazing.
posted by joe lisboa at 2:40 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


You can't outsmart fluttershy's bullets. #
posted by darksasami at 2:40 PM on October 21, 2011


Hmmm. Apropos empath's example...enter any random Classical composer (I tried Beethoven, Liszt, Chopin, Mozart and Bach), and there's sure someone who says "you have bad ears" or a variant, and "you like Justin Bieber" (oddly, always spelled correctly). We are sure that this search engine wasn't created by the person who also wrote these insults, are we?
posted by Namlit at 2:42 PM on October 21, 2011


You are from another timeline. #

Now I am freaked out.
posted by joe lisboa at 2:42 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Haha.

"Model train"
insult: "You cant build a model train"

"guinea pig"
insult: "You don't have guinea pigs"
posted by Namlit at 2:47 PM on October 21, 2011


"random" yielded You have super diebetes. #

Also:

You aren't masters of the poopoo #
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 2:49 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


"Stan Lee" gave me You are in an orchestra.
"topeka" gave me You don't like chocolate milk
"Waffle House" gave me You touched his hard german nipples

I think its time to stop now.
posted by N-stoff at 2:52 PM on October 21, 2011


No insults found for "libraries" FTW!
posted by haunted by Leonard Cohen at 2:55 PM on October 21, 2011


I think its time to stop now.
Agreed. I just tried "Harry Potter" and got among others.
"You lost your soap to baldemort [sic.] and he won't share."
This can only lead to self-implosion.
posted by Namlit at 2:58 PM on October 21, 2011


You's jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz. #

You never had a girl from a girl school #

You ARE FILTHY N'WAH #

You like The Love Guru. #
posted by BungaDunga at 2:58 PM on October 21, 2011


I searched for "overthink a plate of beans"

It's been searching for about 20 minutes now, with no results.

I think the results speak for themselves.
posted by lekvar at 2:59 PM on October 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


Kanye West: You don't make awesome decisions in bike stores.
posted by diogenes at 3:06 PM on October 21, 2011


Wes Anderson: You never got the sandwich au fromage grillé you ordered.
posted by diogenes at 3:11 PM on October 21, 2011


Jesus this is going to eat an hour. I typed in my favorite first band and almost fell outta my friggin' chair:

You have lost your hearing. #

You can't carry the load!!!! #

You whos backs that I know that load is upon =( #

You don´t want to get in good vibes #

You are missing the yes or no question its the music you are to vote on not the video but the music................. #

You are truly just dead..and not dead groovy like us.. #

You need a swift kick in the chops. #

You should be committed. #

You must have "Run smack into a tree!" ... Love me some Bertha RIP Jerry and Brent #

You do not aim to please! #

You got confused and hit the dislike button #

You at the brown acid... #

You did not roll away with the dew! #

You missed your bus #

Yous love has faded away (~);-} #

You suck #

You just turned away.... #

You have your head up their asses #

You aren't stoned #

You couldn't get over her!! #

You are losers. #

You didn't watch your speed. #

You don't take the train #

You haven't done cocaine :) #
posted by bukvich at 3:14 PM on October 21, 2011


From my fourth favorite band:

You dont understaind this great music because you are from galapagos islands and they smell only turtles shit , best regards from Romania #
posted by bukvich at 3:19 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


From my 5th:

You have mental disorders due to excessive music "garbage." #
posted by bukvich at 3:21 PM on October 21, 2011


You are not jacked up on Mountain Dew. #
posted by mullacc at 3:28 PM on October 21, 2011


From my 6th:

You grew up with alcoholic parents, so you now spend your time, spreading bullshit on youtube. #

7:

You were tripping incredibly too hard while watching this video and could not differentiate between the like button and the dislike button.. #

8:

You don't know what is the music!! LOOSERS! #

9:

You pressed the dislike butten by exident #

10:

You figured out Kevin Smith had anal sex with your mom. #

11:

You go fuck your self nubs this is AWESOME and TS!!! #

12

You acsidentally pressed dislike #

It is slowing down. I think we might be breaking it.
posted by bukvich at 3:33 PM on October 21, 2011


I prefer the Shakespeare Insult Kit.
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 3:42 PM on October 21, 2011


douche bag

You that have watched this video where like ya these guys are total douchebags then discovered that you had turned around and looked into the mirror and saw that they where identical twins!!!!! #

You think a party can never have enough dudes #

You are lving in the douches paradice #

You won Douchebag of the Year #

You are Slipknots' fans PS: I'm too, but I like Limp Bizkit too #

You from jersey dislikes this #
posted by porn in the woods at 3:46 PM on October 21, 2011


Shirley Temple:

You didn't get animal crackers in your soup! #

You don't have animal crackers :P #

You haven't to grow up... how do you hate Shirley Temple!?!<3 I love her!! #

You couldn't get to the market like that. #

You DISLIKED THIS BECAUSE THEIR KID IS A LAME-O! #

You is pessimistic. #

You clicked the "dislike" button because there was no "love" button.... #

You DON'T UNDERSTAND TRUE BEAUTY SHIRLEY IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE A CHILD STAR IN OUR HEARTS
posted by sweetkid at 3:48 PM on October 21, 2011


Kanye West: You don't make awesome decisions in bike stores.

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Kanye?
posted by Sys Rq at 3:51 PM on October 21, 2011


hockey - You had a taste of the zamboni ponyyyyyyyy!!!
posted by mannequito at 3:57 PM on October 21, 2011


You currently have no memories
posted by PHINC at 4:11 PM on October 21, 2011


>grunge

You are Hermes-worshippers.
posted by Beardman at 4:11 PM on October 21, 2011


deus ex - You leveled up swimming... #
posted by Philipschall at 4:11 PM on October 21, 2011


You just don't get it. Or you were voting against BP #

You hate Canadians #

You like other pornography. #
posted by eugenen at 4:39 PM on October 21, 2011


You woke up and decided to go for a world record. one was going for the longest arm, one was going for the biggest head and the other one was going for the smallest penis. the 1st one got the record and so did the 2nd one. the 3rd one said "who the fucking hell is Justin Bieber #
posted by brappi at 4:45 PM on October 21, 2011


i wouldn't mind seeing a front end that scrubs the stupid from YouTube, right down to blacklisting comments from accounts that posted stupid shit in the past. The posts railing on about Zionism and Hitler in a cat video are one thing, but man, I'm betting the China car accident video is full of "hahaha" and "dumb bitch".
posted by crapmatic at 4:53 PM on October 21, 2011


cat:

You are not cute. #
You's cats haven't fixed printers. #
You have no sense of humour #
You don't have an Ipad! #
You don't know what is family love. #
You don't have keyboard playing cats. #
You are really crabby. :( #
You need to get a cat #
You are allergic to being hungry #
You have cats that say yesyesyesyesyesyesyes #
You. #
Youas son unos amargados #
You are dogs #

They really know how to hurl those insults. :-(
posted by deborah at 5:07 PM on October 21, 2011


When searching for animation from around the world, i frequently come across some truly inspired international insult hurling.

I was surprised to discover that the "search" missed some real doozies, but i did find some entertaining results.

Australian
*You have crappy bowers, and thus, will not get any loving anytime soon

Canadian
*You are not ninjas
*You fear the beard

Filipino
*You are crab zombies

Welsh
*You are....FREAKS
*You are cats
*You don't have eyeballs
*You don't have souls

Hungarian
*You are still infected
*You do not like eels
*You need a good shave
*You dont like cars or chicks
*You can't do neither a pushup
*You were in the concert hall when Victor Borge was doing Chemistry
*You will be shot from behind by an old 19th century revolver in a dark, misty backalley by a man with a very fancy moustasche and dashing clothing.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:28 PM on October 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ooh I get it. By "pull insults from YouTube videos" you mean it is returning the user comments, not transcriptions of the video content.

Seriously, this was confusing me.
posted by ardgedee at 8:20 PM on October 21, 2011


You's car was hit by the TOWANDA POWAH! #
You dosen't have fried day #
You got messed up by thai fighters because you did not eat this amazing dish #

posted by ardgedee at 8:26 PM on October 21, 2011


You learn't how to fly. #

You lack a brain!! #

You are in New Zealand #

You are pooftas #

You are Bevin. #

You should go to Dr. Chopper and harden the fuck up! #

You need to try a mochachino of harden the fuck up! #

You need a mugacino of HARDEN THE FUCK UP! #

You cant afford to come to our country #

You are from Melbourne #
posted by Wantok at 9:33 PM on October 21, 2011


You can go and listen to your justin beiber albums losers. #

You are in denial. You are all weirdos like me. #

You have no spirit #

You have no soul #

You thought you had to put a thumbs down. #

You aren't sucking a lemon. #

You woke up sucking a lemon #

You MUST DIE #

You are idioteque #

You will be killed by sarah without love. #

You have the right to have your own opinion when it comes to music and expressed that right through their freedom to make their own choices. #

You didn't manage to get tickets for the concert... #

You likes pablo honey #

You are stupid #

You were eaten by weird fishes. #

You made a generic YouTube joke instead of a creative witty joke. #

You was in clouds instead of in rainbows. #
posted by moorooka at 12:41 AM on October 22, 2011


Doctor Who:

You don't have a imagination. :) #

You think Edison is awesome, and that the Doctor should be an american

You are members of the Silence. #

You don't like fish fingers and custard #

Emphasized for some cold ass shit.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:07 AM on October 22, 2011


No results for "fuckstick". :-(
posted by LordSludge at 11:30 AM on October 22, 2011


"elizabeth warren"

You are bankers rolling around in your money and your own faecal matter. #

---

"vegan"

You violated code # 827 #

---

"sandwich"

You are vegetarian #

You don't like sandwiches. #
posted by ghostbikes at 12:02 PM on October 22, 2011


Vagina returned multiple lines of the following:
You's vaginas are haunted
posted by GoingToShopping at 6:41 PM on October 22, 2011


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