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No Mr Bond I expect you to swim.
October 28, 2011 8:00 AM   Subscribe

Tropical Island Paradise is a tasteful design study for what could be your next mega-yacht - oh and it has a volcano.
posted by zeoslap (23 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Gosh, if only my taxes weren't so damn high.
posted by Xoebe at 8:13 AM on October 28, 2011 [4 favorites]


This thing looks like it was sketched up on a bring your nine year old to work day.
posted by Keith Talent at 8:19 AM on October 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


In my mind, I see Roman Ambromavich waking to some hideous stench aboard his superyacht anchored in the Caribbean only to see 'Cousin Eddie' from the National Lampoon 'Vacation' movies astride the bridge of this tiki inspired thing ship moored next door pumping sewage right onto his helideck.

"Hey Roman! SHITTER WAS FULL"
posted by Thoth at 8:35 AM on October 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Does it come with a bunch of security guys in black jumpsuits and technicians in yellow jumpsuits? Because if I am buying a private island with a volcano, I'm not doing it so I can swim laps.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:36 AM on October 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


Yes. This has the quality of a level design from the kind of 90s console RPG with animal mascot party members and a super saturated color scheme. That's sort of amazing.
posted by the liquid oxygen at 8:37 AM on October 28, 2011


Should it ever get built, it is our duty as a people to sink this atrocity.
posted by aramaic at 8:40 AM on October 28, 2011 [4 favorites]


Yeah, idk. My dream luxury boat would be more like a subtly tricked out version of the Black Pearl or the HMS Surprise.

that beach deck thing is fucking rad, though.
posted by elizardbits at 8:41 AM on October 28, 2011


It looks like the Disco Stu version of a James Bond villain hideout.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:47 AM on October 28, 2011


There are some things that shouldn't be built. It should be illegal to build them. Everywhere, illegal. Small nations that decide not to make it illegal to build them, in order to attract capital, should be ejected from the community of nations and subjected to harsh sanctions.

I'm not sure whether I'm joking.
posted by gurple at 9:00 AM on October 28, 2011


theliquidoxygen you say that like it isn't wonderful
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 9:07 AM on October 28, 2011


And the next time I have nine figures lying around, maybe I'll think about it.
posted by valkyryn at 9:11 AM on October 28, 2011


Can't the super rich use thier money to buy something resembling taste? All these super expensive baubles all look like slightly nicer versions of Sandals resorts or Marriott Inn conference rooms. How physically stunted can you be to imagine polished hardwood is the end all of aesthetic acvement. People used to bankrupt ter nation states to build lavish palaces, not putter around in a sea condo. Sheesh.

I mean look at this! Reasonabe! Affordable! And it is literally a castle! You could play act being lord of all you survey! You could have actual peasants!

I do not understand your prodigies, super rich, I really don't.
posted by The Whelk at 9:21 AM on October 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


Okay, the castle is the very best thing ever.

Jesus, thanks, now I'm going to spend the rest of the day pissed off I'm not rich.
posted by Keith Talent at 9:33 AM on October 28, 2011


1.8 isn't that much, considering, let's go all in and assign rank by lottery. I wanna be an Earl.
posted by The Whelk at 9:35 AM on October 28, 2011


Hmmmm, looks like it might be possible to re-purpose a factory ship for a lot less. Just might be doable after that big tax refund this April.

Hey, Xoebe, your pool smells like dead whale!


Whelk, gotta love the priority settings for ottocorrect when you're texting, amirite?
posted by BlueHorse at 9:37 AM on October 28, 2011


Like every other boat this one is best owned by a friend that likes to invite you out for a visit (note the helio pad).
posted by jasn at 10:59 AM on October 28, 2011


This was the setting for Our Man Flint, wasn't it?

It looks like the Disco Stu version of a James Bond villain hideout.

That was Our Man Flint.
posted by dhartung at 11:37 AM on October 28, 2011


Where's the bridge? I can't figure out where the control room is located.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:36 PM on October 28, 2011


I believe the bridge is the first glass layer beneath the um volcano.
posted by zeoslap at 12:53 PM on October 28, 2011


No submarine moon pool?

Fuck that. Who'd slum it on that POS?
posted by schwa at 1:19 PM on October 28, 2011


you don't get it.

spending money on something 'tasteful' is an act of submission. it's saying that you submit to standards outside yourself-- worse, standards that the hoi polloi might actually agree with.

what i'm saying is my mansion is going to be a faithful adaptation of Hollow Bastion from Kingdom Hearts and if you have a problem with that i don't even need to fight you because i have people to do that for me
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 3:07 PM on October 28, 2011


wait, I mean Kefka's tower from FF9, never mind
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 3:08 PM on October 28, 2011


My guess is that a Yacht/Paradise thing -busting torpedo would cost a lot less than $100M. And be more fun!
posted by sneebler at 3:55 PM on October 28, 2011


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