Comments on: "The people I know who used to sit in the bathroom with pornography, now they sit in the bathroom with their IKEA furniture catalogue." ~Chuck Palahniuk

"The people I know who used to sit in the bathroom with pornography, now they sit in the bathroom with their IKEA furniture catalogue." ~Chuck Palahniuk

Fizz — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:39:36 -0800

Is reading on the loo bad for you? [Guardian] Filthy habit or blameless bliss? A public health study by Ron Shaoul lifts the lid on toilet reading once and for all.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:50:41 -0800

If reading on the toilet is wrong, I don't want to be right.* *Apparently, it's not.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:53:32 -0800

You're not doing much, why not check up on Metafilter?

By: headnsouth

headnsouth — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:55:33 -0800

I would rather people read on the toilet than talk on the phone on the toilet. At work. In the stall next to me.

By: mazola

mazola — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:56:25 -0800

Better to read in the loo than shit in the library.

By: Slack-a-gogo

Slack-a-gogo — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:57:12 -0800

Get in. Get out. I don't understand the need to hang out in there more than you have to. There are plenty of more comfortable places to sit in the house.

By: Fizz

Fizz — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:59:36 -0800

I would rather people read on the toilet than talk on the phone on the toilet. At work. In the stall next to me. There is one way to get people off of their cell phones when they're on the toilet: make it real obvious that they're on the toilet. Flush all the other urinals/toilets, run the water, the dryers, talk about being in the bathroom: "MAN THIS BATHROOM IS SMELLY, OH SOMEONE IS IN HERE ON THE PHONE IN THE TOILET WHILE IT SMELLS, IT MUST BE THEM!"

By: sonic meat machine

sonic meat machine — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:01:38 -0800

Get in. Get out. I don't understand the need to hang out in there more than you have to. There are plenty of more comfortable places to sit in the house. Privacy. Quiet. Nobody barges in while you're on the toilet and asks you to do something else.

By: Bron-Y-Aur

Bron-Y-Aur — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:02:16 -0800

You're not doing much, why not check up on Metafilter? Guilty.

By: Forktine

Forktine — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:02:34 -0800

I would rather people read on the toilet than talk on the phone on the toilet. At work. In the stall next to me. I've noticed a lot more of this in the last couple years. At work, in the stalls at the movie theater, pretty much every public bathroom I go into seems to have some dude chatting away while dropping a load.

By: graxe

graxe — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:03:34 -0800

From TFA, toilet reading is "ultimately harmless". They do seem to suggest not reading in public bathrooms as well as washing your hands afterwards. Seriously, I don't know how someone could read in a public bathroom. Those are just abysses of discomfort.

By: the painkiller

the painkiller — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:09:04 -0800

You're not doing much, why not check up on Metafilter? Done and done.

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:11:44 -0800

Only if you don't have the cup of tea and a tab to go with.

By: nevercalm

nevercalm — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:12:07 -0800

From my cold, dead hands.

By: phunniemee

phunniemee — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:14:32 -0800

Get in. Get out. I don't understand the need to hang out in there more than you have to. There are plenty of more comfortable places to sit in the house. You clearly didn't grow up in my house. Constant parental hovering and little brother pestering, no respect for closed (or even locked) bedroom doors (though sometimes not even bathroom doors), yelling for you to go do such-and-such if you looked like you weren't being "productive" for too long. About the only get out of jail free card for peace and quiet was, "I'M POOPING!" Damn, there was even one time that I took a book and some cookies in there and curled up in a towel on the floor for at least 40 minutes reading, eating, and relaxing. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!" "I HAVE DIARRHEA, LEAVE ME ALONE!" "Oh, ok."

By: ifjuly

ifjuly — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:24:19 -0800

A friend was just complaining about how someone at work not only didn't flush after pooping but left a ton of Starburst candy wrappers littered in the stall. He was like "Animal! We live in a society for god's sake!" So gross. Also, that line in Seinfeld, something like "you can keep your toilet book!" Sadly, I can't think about Monet's waterlilies now w/o imagining George and his pooping plight.

By: anastasiav

anastasiav — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:29:57 -0800

Nobody barges in while you're on the toilet and asks you to do something else. Clearly you don't have kids.

By: warbaby

warbaby — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:34:38 -0800

No need to get anal about it.

By: hanoixan

hanoixan — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:37:27 -0800

The one risk I know of when reading too much on the toilet is that it increases one's time in that somewhat strained position. That increases the risk of hemorrhoids, which are a pain in the ass. Take your piles of literature elsewhere.

By: gallus

gallus — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:39:22 -0800

"The people I know who used to sit in the bathroom with pornography, now they sit in the bathroom with their IKEA furniture catalogue." No shit. I thought the IKEA catalogue was porn - Swedish, plenty of wood.....shrugs

By: Renoroc

Renoroc — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:43:28 -0800

I'm not wiping my ass with the book while I'm in there. I think I'm OK.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:47:06 -0800

There is one way to get people off of their cell phones when they're on the toilet: make it real obvious that they're on the toilet. Do not do this when it is the Regional Director of Sales or the VP of Operations. However, it is ok with the Chief Technology Officer.

By: bonehead

bonehead — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:48:01 -0800

"I always have New Scientist by the toilet. I use it as distraction therapy. I don't particularly want to think about crapping." Oddly, NS always puts me in mind of crap.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:48:53 -0800

Readers, meet hemorrhoids. Kid-owners, buy locks. My name is CD and I solve society's problems in four words or less.

By: hippybear

hippybear — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:51:38 -0800

The one risk I know of when reading too much on the toilet is that it increases one's time in that somewhat strained position. Wait. You mean you spend time reading on the toilet while pushing out with your rectum the entire time? I think you're doing it wrong.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:55:55 -0800

Some say that reading on the loo is not the proper thing to do, But I will candidly admit to taking in some trashy lit. 'Cause nothing's worse than once I'm seated, I find the toilet roll depleted, So though the practice may be heinous, I have a book to wipe my anus.

By: iamkimiam

iamkimiam — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:56:38 -0800

oh god, this is so weird to me. I avoid touching my thighs, ass, even my dropped clothing to the toilet at all costs. Sometimes you gotta poop in a relaxed fashion though. But I can't even fathom something that casual, like leisurely reading. It'd be like if your housemate always sat naked on a certain spot on the couch. And sometimes they liked to read on that couch. Except there was a whole cut out of the cushion and they'd shit through it. Would you enjoy reading there too?

By: Dr Dracator

Dr Dracator — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:57:50 -0800

Do not do this when it is the Regional Director of Sales or the VP of Operations. However, it is ok with the Chief Technology Officer. So typical - everbody thinks it's ok to dump on the IT folks

By: infini

infini — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:00:14 -0800

What about the coffee mug and the ashtray on the side table alongside the magazine rack? (plans not to invite iamkimiam over )

By: phunniemee

phunniemee — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:03:03 -0800

I avoid touching my thighs, ass, even my dropped clothing to the toilet at all costs. Wait, even at home? You realize you can clean your toilet, right? If you're not comfortable touching your home toilet, that's no one's fault but your own. The ones that get me are the girls in high school movies and tv shows that go and eat lunch on the toilet in the school bathroom. That is gross. I know what my school's toilets looked like, and anyone who could work up the stomach to eat in there probably needs major psychological intervention.

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:04:02 -0800

Thanks, MetaFilter. As a childless gay with a meek roommate, I never appreciated how much privacy I truly have until reading about the lot of you huddled away in the coldest and smallest room in the house, desperate for a few minutes of tranquility and silence. If anyone needs me, I'll be all alone all day in my enormous bed with my laptop, a good novel, and a huge bag of candy.

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:06:33 -0800

I stopped reading on the toilet after I got a smartphone, although I'm afraid of getting conditioned to the point where I can't take a dump without the aid of the Angry Birds.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:06:53 -0800

MetaFilter: It's like if your housemate always sat naked on a certain spot on the couch. And sometimes they liked to read on that couch. Except there was a whole cut out of the cushion and they'd shit through it.

By: zzazazz

zzazazz — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:11:12 -0800

It would have to be really, really, really bad for me to stop. Thank goodness it's OK. I can read while shitting with impunity.

By: criticalbill

criticalbill — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:13:48 -0800

old joke alert I was in the toilet the other day and this guy in the stall next to me said: "Hello." I said: "Hello." He said: "How you doing?" I said: "Er... I'm ok. How are you?" He said: "Hang on one minute, there's some idiot in the next stall answering everything I say."

By: Renoroc

Renoroc — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:13:57 -0800

What are Mefites reading on the bowl? I like short stories; I'm on a high-fiber diet so I really don't have the time to bust out the epic novels.

By: immlass

immlass — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:16:02 -0800

Am I the only person whose cat thinks someone going into the bathroom means it's time for skritches? I couldn't read anything longer than an email in there if I wanted because the cat is insistent. And if I close the door and lock up, she claws until I get up and let her in!

By: everichon

everichon — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:20:14 -0800

time for skritches Ah yes, the dreaded poop coach.

By: Ghostride The Whip

Ghostride The Whip — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:20:27 -0800

Toilet's my main reading place, Renoroc. I've been doing a lot of nonfiction lately.

By: tommasz

tommasz — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:20:43 -0800

Get in. Get out. I don't understand the need to hang out in there more than you have to. There are plenty of more comfortable places to sit in the house. Privacy. Quiet. Nobody barges in while you're on the toilet and asks you to do something else. Oh yes. I once had a boss who had the annoying habit of giving me assignments while we were both standing at the urinal. He never did that when I was in the stall.

By: Wuggie Norple

Wuggie Norple — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:21:21 -0800

ahahaha, uh, no, no vacationing in the bathroom here. If you have someone in the household with Interstitial Cystitis, hogging the toilet is really not cool. Everyone else, whatever you please is OK with me!

By: villanelles at dawn

villanelles at dawn — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:23:28 -0800

What are Mefites reading on the bowl? I'll fess up. I keep an anthology of the New Criterion, signed by Hilton Kramer and Roger Kimball, because they can be interesting but they can also be such dickheads that I get a good feeling knowing they're stuck in a bathroom.

By: Trurl

Trurl — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:24:17 -0800

In the past, toilet time was spent paging through the wife's Sundance catalog. [Some nice looking wimmens in that catalog.] Then the iPad changed everything. [You knew that was coming.] Why not check to see if any favorites have come in? Maybe one did. Go to the thread to admire my handiwork in context. But there find a new comment of such rank political naivete that it can not stand unchallenged. So begin crafting a pithy reply. My muse has as uneasy relationship with the touchscreen keyboard - especially when unsteadily balanced on two pale naked fat thighs. The time to depart for work may even be advancing. But "someone is wrong on the Internet", etc. Then my wife will shout through the door, "Are you on MetaFilter again? I'm sorry I bought you that thing."

By: everichon

everichon — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:25:12 -0800

I will read anything, but if I can choose I prefer short Lord Dunsany stories in the bathroom.

By: Ad hominem

Ad hominem — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:27:44 -0800

A colony of fruit flies has taken over my bathroom so I tend so I don't like to linger in there. They seem so happy in there I really hate to disturb them, fruit flies need me time too.

By: Trurl

Trurl — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:31:39 -0800

I once had a boss who had the annoying habit of giving me assignments while we were both standing at the urinal. I told mine, "There are some things I don't want to be evaluated on."

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:41:10 -0800

We've had a few guests disappear in our downstairs bathroom for slightly extended periods of time. One finally said to me: a Magic Eye book? Are you kidding?! It's perfect, really.

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:43:21 -0800

The important thing is to wash your hands with soap after using the loo to get the bugs off No shit.

By: phunniemee

phunniemee — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:45:09 -0800

Back when the iPad came out and the city was canvassed with the ubiquitous ads of hip people with nice shoes enjoying their Apple products, I came up with an "honest" iPad ad: You'd see the iPad, a dude's hairy, bare knees sticking out above it, some shoes down below, and crumpled pants and a belt. All done in the slick Apple style. Here, I did a quick mockup in mspaint.

By: cortex

cortex — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:46:58 -0800

You're not doing much, why not check up on Metafilter? Man I am so tired of all this threadshitting.

By: PlusDistance

PlusDistance — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:47:01 -0800

Better to read in the loo than shit in the library. Could somebody translate that into Latin? I'm working on my family coat of arms.

By: jquinby

jquinby — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:47:38 -0800

What are Mefites reading on the bowl? Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts and one or two of The Straight Dope books. The latest Atlantic. Etc.

By: infinitewindow

infinitewindow — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:48:11 -0800

My uncle had a sign on his bathroom door that said "Library."

By: Blasdelb

Blasdelb — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:49:12 -0800

Whenever I have students learning about how to use MacConkey agar to isolate gram (-ve) enterics and differentiate coliform bacteria we get them to smear cue tips of all sorts of stuff over MacConkey plates to see what we can find. It turns out toilet water is actually pretty sanitary while cell phones are about the most consistently poop laden that creative students have come up with along with belt buckles. The more you know.

By: jquinby

jquinby — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:53:00 -0800

Could somebody translate that into Latin? I, too, would like to see this. Google Translate doesn't seem to want to do this right.

By: Fizz

Fizz — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:53:11 -0800

Here's my take on reading while sitting. What is happening below the waist does not require your hands. Up until a certain point you can use those hands to hold a book or e-reader or mobile device or whatever. That is up until you make the decision to start wiping. But once you make that choice - and start the process of pulling off toilet paper and wiping and pulling off additional toilet paper, there's no going back to reading. You've already placed your hands where fecal matter resides. So no reading again until you've properly cleaned yourself, your hands, and used a towel.

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:54:47 -0800

"Ah yes, the dreaded poop coach." So, that thread was so memorable that you remembered it for 5 years? hmmmm...

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:54:48 -0800

Man, I used to love lingering on the john, catching up on stuff on my Blackberry or playing a quick game of Monopoly on my other phone. That was until my legs fell asleep. Trying to get up while temporarily paralyzed with your pants around your ankles has Komedy Kavalcade written all over it. I never fell but came close a couple of times.

By: dunkadunc

dunkadunc — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:55:15 -0800

Ad hominem: "A colony of fruit flies has taken over my bathroom so I tend so I don't like to linger in there. They seem so happy in there I really hate to disturb them, fruit flies need me time too" Put an inverted cone of paper with the point open in the neck of a Mason jar full of vinegar. I lived in a disgusting 'commune' last summer where the owners insisted on keeping the 'compost' indoors, uncovered. Of course, they had their own, seperate kitchen. I made one of these setups and within two days, there were more flies than vinegar in the jar.

By: phunniemee

phunniemee — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:06:16 -0800

Put an inverted cone of paper with the point open in the neck of a Mason jar full of vinegar. Even easier? Use a beer bottle. Beer bottle with about an inch of vinegar (apple cider vinegar is like crack for fruit flies, but regular vinegar is fine), a drop of dish soap, and a tiny piece of banana (if you have it). Wait a day. Ta-dah!

By: Ad hominem

Ad hominem — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:06:22 -0800

Put an inverted cone of paper with the point open in the neck of a Mason jar full of vinegar. I don't really want to kill them, this is the only colony of fruit flies I have seen in New York outside of high school biology. I'm hoping they will mutate and evolve into super intelligent fruit flies and start paying rent. I wish they would stop hanging out on my towels though, I got the their own and they don't even use it. The only issue so far is whenever I have a lady caller I have to ask them to use the guest bathroom. I know asking them to run down the hall wrapped in a sheet will only cause them bemusement whereas having them attempt to use the master bathroom only to be swarmed with fruit flies will cause them to leave.

By: infini

infini — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:22:51 -0800

Uh oh fruit flies are ruining Ad hominem's love life - occupy his master bathroom immediately

By: hippybear

hippybear — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:24:27 -0800

Am I the only person whose cat thinks someone going into the bathroom means it's time for skritches? I keep a litterbox in the bathroom. One of our cats doesn't accompany me in for skritches. It's community poop time! What are Mefites reading on the bowl? If you haven't discovered the joy of the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series of books, may I be the one to introduce you to them? They apparently are recommended highly by (MetaFilter's Own) John Hodgman, and even have a blog with a lot of things the iEnabled amongst us.

By: hippybear

hippybear — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:26:21 -0800

Put an inverted cone of paper with the point open in the neck of a Mason jar full of vinegar. Aren't you supposed to be able to catch more flies with honey?

By: SPrintF

SPrintF — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:39:04 -0800

I don't really want to kill them, this is the only colony of fruit flies I have seen in New York outside of high school biology. I'm hoping they will mutate and evolve into super intelligent fruit flies and start paying rent. I sense a sitcom here. Is Jerry Seinfeld available?

By: dunkadunc

dunkadunc — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:44:24 -0800

hippybear: "Aren't you supposed to be able to catch more flies with honey?" I'm filing "You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" in the same cabinet as "What doesnt' kill me, makes me stronger".

By: PapaLobo

PapaLobo — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:48:47 -0800

Seriously, I don't know how someone could read in a public bathroom. Graffiti can be fun to read. Once when I was a lad, I had to use the facilities in the convention center next to the Astrodome. This was the mid-late 70s and the stall walls were COVERED from top to bottom with gay graffiti.* Except one spot. Where someone had taken the time to match the (barely seen) paint of the stall wall's paint, painted over the queer stuff and then wrote in calligraphy: "Doesn't anyone write about pussy anymore?" I've had a twisted fascination with bathroom graffiti ever since. *This was how (along with Logan's Run) I was introduced to the concept of homosexuality.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:51:41 -0800

Only if you don't have the cup of tea and a tab to go with. Note to Americans: not *that* kind of tab, thankfully.

By: dhartung

dhartung — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:54:27 -0800

A colony of fruit flies has taken over my bathroom You keep your fruit in the bathroom? No? Then those are drain flies. Boiling water will take care of them pretty quickly. Anyhoo, my reading material is DIY magazines. Perfect article length, really, lots of small items to browse. Then: PHOEBE: So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa? JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh? RACHEL: Hey, nice toilet. JOEY: No no no, behind it. ROSS: Wha-, you have a phone in here? JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here. MONICA: Joey, promise me something. JOEY: Yeah. MONICA: Never call me from that phone.

By: Ad hominem

Ad hominem — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:55:41 -0800

I sense a sitcom here. Is Jerry Seinfeld available? Kinda like Joe's Aprtment I think it should be done by Pixar.Seinfeld can do the voice of the lovable scruffy computer nerd. We can have multiple generations of fruit flies. The doddering great grandfather, complete with cane and ear trumpet, always going on and on about something that happened 3 generations ago, which was actually only last week. The earnest hard-working parents, the adorable baby fruit flies who always want nanners or something. It will have to be time compressed, make it the course of one day. Or else we would have to show the baby fruit flies get old and die. Or maybe we can make that work, every time the hero pops into the bathroom the babies are slightly older. First they are larva, and the parents are showing them off, next they are toddlers, they are uncoordinated and learning to fly, then they are Tweens and are like "awwww mom, I been flying for hours!, I will be fine flying out of the barroom" Could work.

By: Ad hominem

Ad hominem — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:59:51 -0800

You keep your fruit in the bathroom? No? Then those are drain flies. Boiling water will take care of them pretty quickly. Nononononono. I am going to have to kill them with fire. Maybe I ilk just leave and never come back, that might be safer.

By: infini

infini — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:03:36 -0800

I would watch Ad Hominen's script totally, with popcorn, but in the living room.

By: rainbaby

rainbaby — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:18:00 -0800

Toilet time = how much time I devote to facebook checking.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:21:00 -0800

I am going to have to kill them with fire. I strongly advise against using rubbing alcohol and a creme brulee torch.

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:28:43 -0800

I now know way more about my fellow Mefites than I ever expected - or wanted - to.

By: Ad hominem

Ad hominem — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:34:09 -0800

By: MUD

MUD — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:46:54 -0800

Once, in Bristol train station toilets, I overheard the following exchange between two guys in adjoining cubicles. Guy1: Oof. This is hard work, innit? Guy2: You think this is hard work? I works in sheet metal - that's hard work. Guy1: Nah, I'll tell you what's hard work - women. Them's hard work. This debate on what constituted hard work, over and above having a dump, doubtless continued but I had to leave the toilets for fear of hurting myself through hysterics.

By: Obscure Reference

Obscure Reference — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:54:21 -0800

What are Mefites reading on the bowl? The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee In the text, she says that's where she assumes you'll be reading it, and in my case she was absolutely correct.

By: naju

naju — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 11:16:02 -0800

What are Mefites reading on the bowl? Believer magazine. J. Crew catalogs. Words With Friends. (Watch for my upcoming book, Stuff White People Like While Shitting)

By: modernnomad

modernnomad — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 11:53:33 -0800

Any time I've walked into the bathroom of a friend and seen that they have a stash of reading material in there, I confess my estimation of them drops.

By: Pope Xanax IV

Pope Xanax IV — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 12:05:56 -0800

Wired and Michael Kupperman comics. I can't recommend the latter enough.

By: Memo

Memo — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 12:52:20 -0800

modernnomad: "Any time I've walked into the bathroom of a friend and seen that they have a stash of reading material in there, I confess my estimation of them drops" I agree. They should use a Kindle.

By: spitbull

spitbull — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 12:57:42 -0800

I saw a study the other day (UK I think) that found fecal bacteria on an extraordinary percentage of cell phones.

By: i_am_joe's_spleen

i_am_joe's_spleen — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 12:58:36 -0800

I agree. They should use a Kindle. Well no, if you read the article, books are not good hosts for bacteria, whereas smooth plastic is.

By: rakeswell

rakeswell — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 13:39:43 -0800

Better to read in the loo than shit in the library. Latine dicitur: Melius in latrina legere quam in bibliotheca cacare.

By: tarbet

tarbet — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 13:44:18 -0800

I do my taxes on the toilet. Seems appropriate.

By: Mr. Bad Example

Mr. Bad Example — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 13:48:34 -0800

Once, in Bristol train station toilets, I overheard the following exchange between two guys in adjoining cubicles. Bristol Temple Meads or Bristol Parkway? Not that I was one of the guys in the stalls or anything, mind you.

By: autoclavicle

autoclavicle — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:10:59 -0800

This is a "male thing"? Because I don't understand reading or spending a lot of time on the toilet. I take a shit or a piss and get the hell out ASAP. Thank you, fiber! I don't really relish having my pants down and being exposed. I just wanna wipe my ass and get out of there.

By: maudlin

maudlin — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:11:59 -0800

I happen to have some sterno. I am going to dump it down the drain then light it on fire. Suck on that drain flies! I thought you were flies that liked fruit, turns out you are flies who like drains, you must die. I'm only in this thread to find out what happens to Ad hominem's flies before it turns into a Michael Bey movie.

By: ghostbikes

ghostbikes — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:22:32 -0800

"cacare" is "to shit" in latin? that is awesome. clearly i did not pester my high school latin teacher for enough unsavory words.

By: Mcable

Mcable — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:29:12 -0800

But is playing Angry Birds OK?

By: Mcable

Mcable — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 15:01:33 -0800

I would rather people read on the toilet than talk on the phone on the toilet. At work. In the stall next to me. A well timed fart will stop this behavior.

By: Ad hominem

Ad hominem — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 15:38:11 -0800

I'm only in this thread to find out what happens to Ad hominem's flies before it turns into a Michael Bey movie. They are still there. I don't have the heart to kill them, they are my fly bros. I hope they aren't walking on my toothbrush though.

By: palomar

palomar — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 16:58:19 -0800

I used to have a coworker who was as regular as a Swiss train. Every day at 9:45 he would stand up, tuck his current book or magazine under his arm, and stride off to the restroom, head high and shoulders back. That's what happens when you have coffee and a bran muffin for breakfast every day. (There were a lot of weird inside jokes at that office, a lot of which centered on the single-occupancy restrooms. Now every time I see or hear that "share the road!" slogan I giggle quietly to myself and think about pooping.)

By: palomar

palomar — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 17:03:38 -0800

Oh, also, I totally hang out and read in the restrooms at my current job. It's basically the only way I can look at anything on the internet with any level of privacy while at work -- one of my officemates has a perfect view of my monitors and would be super butthurt if she saw me on Facebook since I had to block her for being annoying. Sorry, Facebook friends, but if I've "liked" something of yours during work hours, I probably did it with my pants down. Boy, my internal filter is just gone today. Whee!

By: hippybear

hippybear — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 17:09:28 -0800

I don't have the heart to kill them, they are my fly bros. This is, indeed, rapidly turning into a remake of Joe's Apartment.

By: arcticseal

arcticseal — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 17:23:51 -0800

Our bathroom in Norway had heated floors. We would camp out in there, read, chat, take naps. We had cushions and everything. Mrs A and I have a weird concept of personal space, plus the rest of the apartment was kinda cool in the winter.

By: Space Kitty

Space Kitty — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 17:48:54 -0800

God damn, when I've made my fortune I'm having heated floors in every fucking room of the house. On topic, I still can't believe how many execs think nothing of taking the communal newspaper to the loo and then putting it back when they're done. NO I'VE ALREADY READ THE PAPER THANKS.

By: phunniemee

phunniemee — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 17:55:57 -0800

I once had a boss who'd grumpily grab the newspaper, leave for 20 minutes, then come back all full of smiles and sunshine, brandishing the paper at me and asking things like, "what's a six letter word for lazy?"

By: Dr Dracator

Dr Dracator — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 23:04:48 -0800

No discussion on toilet reading can be complete without the famous response of composer Max Reger to one of his critics:

"I am sitting in the smallest room of my house. I have your review before me. In a moment it will be behind me!"

By: doyouknowwhoIam?

doyouknowwhoIam? — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 08:58:43 -0800

What are MeFites reading on the bowl Lamb and The Baroque Cycle, sometimes. More often than not, it's actually sudoku on the phone. The difficulty of one act is matched by the difficulty of the puzzle.

By: rtha

rtha — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 12:27:19 -0800

Our bathroom had heated floors, too! The cats love it even more than we do.