But I disagree about "niggardly"

November 8, 2011 1:34 PM

Yo, Is This Racist? (sltp)

Chinese Checkers: Statistically we probably should call this just “checkers” and the shit with the red and black chips White Checkers, so yeah, let’s call it: Historically Racist, With Ironic Future Repercussions

Negronis: While there may be some troubling etymology for that drink I’m not going to take the time to research, I think unfortunately that one gets a pass. In fact, here’s my running list of foods and drinks that kind of sound racist, but are probably all good.

- Apple Brown Betty
- Lime Rickey
- Banana Bread
- Cheetos
- Negroni (new addition)

Your Grandmother: Society was really different back then, and people’s perspectives on differences weren’t informed by the civil rights movement and what we know about what’s right today, so it’s hard to say.

Just playing, yo, she racist as hell.

posted by peachfuzz (77 comments total)

Okay once you start reading this in the voice in your head you made up for Ray Smuckles it gets much, much more entertaining.
posted by griphus at 1:35 PM on November 8, 2011 [23 favorites]

I read this in Ray Smuckles' voice.

Don't ask me to explain how I hear Ray Smuckles' voice.

On preview: fuck!
posted by penduluum at 1:37 PM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

I just assumed it was Ray Smuckles and his Blogging Crown.
posted by The Whelk at 1:37 PM on November 8, 2011

Is it racist if you have no idea who Ray Smuckles is?
posted by afx237vi at 1:39 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't know who Ray Smuckles is. Is that raycist?
posted by TheRedArmy at 1:39 PM on November 8, 2011 [16 favorites]

Hmm, gonna be bumpy here for awhile I think.
posted by TheRedArmy at 1:39 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

Intrigued by Negroni? There's a Wiki page for that.

While the drink's origins are unknown, the most widely reported account is that it was invented in Florence, Italy in 1919, at Caffè Casoni, ex Caffè Giacosa, now called Caffè Cavalli. Count Camillo Negroni invented it by asking the bartender, Fosco Scarselli, to strengthen his favorite cocktail, the Americano, by adding gin rather than the normal soda water. The bartender also added an orange garnish rather than the typical lemon garnish of the Americano to signify that it was a different drink.

Or you can read the more lively telling on The Examiner. All I get is that Negroni was an Italian count, so it's probably all good (unless you start making it into slang against drunken Italian nobility, which would be making things pretty obtuse).
posted by filthy light thief at 1:40 PM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

The day they try to rename the Negroni is the day I subscribe to the National Review. Hell, maybe even the Dartmouth Review.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 1:44 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

Was surprisingly funny. I give it a B+.
posted by josher71 at 1:45 PM on November 8, 2011

I feel like a white background is just more professional. Is that racist?
posted by Riki tiki at 1:45 PM on November 8, 2011 [8 favorites]

Canadian Thanksgiving is the most racist holiday hey? Who knew..
posted by mannequito at 1:45 PM on November 8, 2011

I wouldn't mind if the jew's-harp got renamed "mouth twanger" or something.
posted by Trurl at 1:47 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

Hold up, the first white meat is White people? Damn, that ad campaign is a lot more gangster than I realized.

this just in: Soylent Green is gangsta!
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:48 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

Canadian Thanksgiving is the most racist holiday hey? Who knew..

I would think that only applies if we are thankful for being white.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:48 PM on November 8, 2011

I wouldn't mind if the jew's-harp got renamed "mouth twanger" or something.

I take care of that problem by calling it a Juice Harp.
posted by The World Famous at 1:49 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

That was pretty funny
posted by shothotbot at 1:51 PM on November 8, 2011

"Hold up, the first white meat is White people? Damn, that ad campaign is a lot more gangster than I realized."

I am going to be laughing quietly about that one for the rest of the afternoon...
posted by bitter-girl.com at 1:51 PM on November 8, 2011 [5 favorites]

Jaw harp. See, you hold it in your jaw, whether Gentile or Jew.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:52 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

I've been puzzling over this store for a few years now... I've only seen it from the outside. Not sure if the proprietors are white or Asian.
posted by Brodiggitty at 1:52 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Of course, Chinese Checkers isn't even Chinese. (Chinese Chess is, though.)

"mouth twanger"

Not to be confused with a mouth organ.
posted by kmz at 1:53 PM on November 8, 2011

I call mine a mouth harp.

I've heard it called a jaws harp before and honestly that's so little effort that I don't even really see how it's better.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 1:54 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

There's a famous "Black's Barbecue" in Lockhart, Texas . . .
posted by spitbull at 1:54 PM on November 8, 2011

I wouldn't mind if the jew's-harp got renamed "mouth twanger" or something.

They're mostly called jaw harps these days, I think. Of course, the jaw harp is really a totally different instrument, but it sounds basically the same, so meh.

I call mine a mouth harp.

That's a harmonica, innit?
posted by Sys Rq at 1:56 PM on November 8, 2011

That's a harmonica, innit?

Hmm. I suppose so.

I think jaw harp is a perfect fine term for it, for the record, but jaws harp was just -- wow.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 1:57 PM on November 8, 2011

Disappointed the link wasn't this.
posted by yerfatma at 2:00 PM on November 8, 2011

Not to be confused with a mouth organ.

Yo, I am so not following that link at work.
posted by aught at 2:03 PM on November 8, 2011

Bringing this all together into a perfect loop:

a "jew's harp" is also known as a trump (really)

and Trump has a great relationship with the Blacks.
posted by sheldman at 2:03 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

There's a famous "Black's Barbecue" in Lockhart, Texas . . .

I think Black being your family's name is a good excuse for that one. Also, making food of the gods gives you some allowance.

On the other hands, place names like White Settlement (near here) have always squicked me out.
posted by kmz at 2:05 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yo, I am so not following that link at work.

What? It's just a famous British performer doing well on the mouth organ and thus given a golden prize.
posted by kmz at 2:06 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

And all he's doing is sucking and blowing on the mouth organ. Nothing dirty.
posted by kmz at 2:08 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yo, I am so not following that link at work.

What? It's just a famous British performer doing well on the mouth organ and thus given a golden prize.

You're not making it better!
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 2:08 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

Very truthy: Let’s just agree that members of royal families throughout history don’t have a great track record of building their power bases without some serious human exploitation
posted by Renoroc at 2:10 PM on November 8, 2011

I once had a shirt that bore the name of a local supermarket above lush watermelons cut in half with the imploration, "Eat More Watermelon!"

Before I wore it to work I described it to a couple black co-workers and asked, "Yo, is that racist?"

They said no. I wore it without incident.
posted by mreleganza at 2:20 PM on November 8, 2011

Hold up, the first white meat is White people? Damn, that ad campaign is a lot more gangster than I realized.

This is by far the funniest line on the site, but it's pretty fucking funny, so, OK.
posted by The Bellman at 2:23 PM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

That page has more yo's than the Duncan factory. Yo.
posted by tommasz at 2:23 PM on November 8, 2011

How about White Center in Seattle? Which is of course mostly non-white.
posted by spitbull at 2:32 PM on November 8, 2011

Brodiggitty: I've been puzzling over this store for a few years now... I've only seen it from the outside. Not sure if the proprietors are white or Asian.

Or writing from over a century ago.
posted by filthy light thief at 2:33 PM on November 8, 2011

Yo is the New Zealand men's national rugby union team racist, yo?
posted by jazon at 2:57 PM on November 8, 2011

Yo, you don’t need to be Asian to be afraid of Godzilla, that motherfucker is tall as hell and breathes radiation. The fuck you imagine everyone else in the marathon is running from, falling property values?
posted by drezdn at 2:59 PM on November 8, 2011 [6 favorites]

Snoopy called it a jew's harp, so that's good enough for me.
posted by brundlefly at 2:59 PM on November 8, 2011

mini-golf is fine, as long as it’s not at a White Only mini country club
posted by drezdn at 3:02 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

After sitting around and discussing this sort of thing with my remarkably multicultural group of coworkers, we came to what we felt was a broadly applicable answer to the general question of "Is This Racist?"

Which was: "If you have to ask, the answer is 'Probably'."
posted by quin at 3:11 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

The "100% Don't Care" thing made me laugh. “I CAN ALREADY TELL YOU’RE WHITE, FOOL.”

I guess I won't mention my membership in the Half-Norwegian (on the Mother's Side) American Bar Association, then.
posted by ambrosia at 3:18 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

jennymarie2013 asked: Yo is letting balloons float up until they disappear racist?

No way, that shit is beautiful and can fill you with a sense of wonderment, as you gaze up and realize how small you are in the world and the universe, and yet, how connected we are as a family of man.

Probably choke a seagull with that shit when it finally falls back to earth, though.
posted by matildaben at 3:21 PM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

Seconding ambrosia's LOL pointer

Like, unless that shit is immediately germane to the discussion at hand (ie, “Oh, I speak a little French because my mom is French”, or “Actually, my Grandpa was a Hitler Youth.”), shit just always sounds to me like the teacher from Charlie Brown, but instead of the wah-wah trumpet, it’s just someone going “White-white-white. White white white-white white.”
posted by mistersquid at 3:36 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

Normally, being on tumblr is a good sign that I will find something irritating, but I actually found this amusing.

That said, I'm quite bothered by the 'chink in the armor' one. Because I can't figure out if the author is serious or not. I'm pretty darn sure that's the other 'chink'.
posted by hoyland at 3:56 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

Probably choke a seagull with that shit when it finally falls back to earth, though.

Or choke any number of endangered species, or interfere with aircraft, or just plain garbage up the place.

These are but a few of the reasons that balloon releases are illegal in many jurisdictions.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:59 PM on November 8, 2011

(Not to mention the helium shortage.)
posted by Sys Rq at 4:03 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Cheese Nips.
posted by ErikaB at 4:04 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ray Smuckles (warning: thong)
posted by obscurator at 4:09 PM on November 8, 2011

Anonymous asked: I prefer the movie Crash over Do the Right Thing, am I racist?

Yo, having sex in car crashes got nothing to do with race, mostly, you’re probably in the clear.

OH MY GOD, I love you.
posted by naoko at 4:19 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

man if ray smuckles is so popular here on the blue, why the hell arent there any new achewoods?! man chris why'd you have to do a thing.
posted by joeblough at 4:25 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ray Smuckles died for our sins.
posted by The Whelk at 4:36 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

what th' dogg?

I ran into this earlier today. Pretty much solid gold.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 4:38 PM on November 8, 2011

Surprisingly funny and on-point both. Excellent.
posted by KathrynT at 4:43 PM on November 8, 2011

white-white-white ...

That was hysterical. I'm also not going to mention my many and varied heritages.
posted by doyouknowwhoIam? at 5:17 PM on November 8, 2011

Mea culpa, yo.
posted by cthuljew at 5:35 PM on November 8, 2011

I'm hoping the Cookie Psychologist tumblr that I found through it stays funny longer than I expect this one to.
posted by immlass at 5:37 PM on November 8, 2011

OH MY GOD, I love you.

Get a car crash, you two.
posted by mannequito at 5:38 PM on November 8, 2011 [6 favorites]

Banana bread?
posted by mike3k at 7:13 PM on November 8, 2011

Banana bread

Brown on the outside, yellow on the inside.

see also: oreos, bananas, apples, eggs, and various other two-toned flavors of delicious delicious racism.
posted by Panjandrum at 7:31 PM on November 8, 2011

Ray Smuckles has ten times the chops of this dude.

Also Star Wars is hell of racist.
posted by lrobertjones at 8:03 PM on November 8, 2011

All the "yo" this and "gangsta" that adds up to racism for me. What do I know, I'm just a little white cock sucker. I couldn't possibly know a damn thing about hate and bigotry. It takes an African American to understand racism. Yo.
posted by Goofyy at 8:09 PM on November 8, 2011

Goofyy, I would say the site's intention is 95% to be funny and 5% to weigh in on racism, none of which implies (what I saw) that white-to-black racism is the only kind, but your desire to shit all over it is noted.
posted by mreleganza at 8:30 PM on November 8, 2011 [5 favorites]

All the "yo" this and "gangsta" that adds up to racism for me.

Why?
posted by Sys Rq at 8:50 PM on November 8, 2011

All the "yo" this and "gangsta" that adds up to racism for me. What do I know, I'm just a little white cock sucker. I couldn't possibly know a damn thing about hate and bigotry. It takes an African American to understand racism. Yo.

Y'know, if your response to humor about racism is weirdly aggressive sarcasm, maybe that means something.
posted by kagredon at 8:54 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

Goofy, If you haven't been in US culture for a while, I could see why the language might stand out, the yo let me just tell ya syntax has been watered down and filtered so much it's become more a reflexive, internet-y accent, and the choice to use it here and how it is used, does not strike me as racist in the least.
posted by The Whelk at 8:57 PM on November 8, 2011

"Yo" comes from Italian-Americans in Philadelphia.

Just sayin'.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:03 PM on November 8, 2011

What do I know, I'm just a little white cock sucker. I couldn't possibly know a damn thing about hate and bigotry.

If you insist. You're the only one arguing that.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:30 PM on November 8, 2011

place names like White Settlement (near here) have always squicked me out

Don't get me started. I grew up there.... Or White Trash Settlement as I like to call it.
posted by ValkoSipuliSuola at 10:15 PM on November 8, 2011

This is truly my favorite:

Is Snow White racist?

Yo, without taking the time to do the research into her specific story, let’s just agree that members of royal families throughout history don’t have a great track record of building their power bases without some serious human exploitation.
posted by sonika at 4:53 AM on November 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

The "100% don't care" kinda bothered me. The same way we group all african cultures and american indian cultures, and even asia for that matter. "Oh, you live near someone with the same skin tone? You're all the same people."
posted by FirstMateKate at 7:42 AM on November 9, 2011

On a road trip to the North Carolina coast earlier this week my partner and I drove by a Pure gas station called White's, with all the signs clearly saying "Pure White's Gas Station" (or mini-mart or whatever it was called). I still can't figure out if it's intentionally racist, or if we're racist for even thinking it. Sure didn't have the balls to go inside and check it out, though.
posted by rhiannonstone at 9:05 AM on November 9, 2011

The "100% don't care" kinda bothered me. The same way we group all african cultures and american indian cultures, and even asia for that matter. "Oh, you live near someone with the same skin tone? You're all the same people."

Agreed. However:

First of all, it's really one of those things we white-white-whites would have to step up and fix about ourselves--every last one of us--before we could possibly criticise the same behaviour from the people we oppress.

For example, the Chinese government officially recognizes 56 Chinese ethnic groups; the number is actually higher. And, yet, how much would the average Joe White-White-White care about the specific ethnic makeup of any Chinese person? My guess is not at all. Even getting as granular as Chinese as opposed to Asian is pretty much the best anyone could reasonably expect.

Secondly, there's a good possibility the non-white listener has no idea about the specifics of their own ethnic background, which is usually the case with African-American people, for one, due 100% to the actions of white-white-whites.

And, I mean, let's face it: Nationalities that white-white-whites would classify as completely distinct, like Danish, Dutch, English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, German, etc., are going to look remarkably similar from any non-European perspective.

And, of course, the bottom line is that if you're talking about your own white-white-whiteness, you are sending the message that Ethnicity Matters!, which is skirting dangerously close to the definition of racism.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:49 AM on November 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

Y'know, if your response to humor about racism is weirdly aggressive sarcasm, maybe that means something.

Not as much as it does if your response is uncontrollable sexual arousal.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:51 PM on November 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

I worry about you Stavros, not too much, but it's there.
posted by Panjandrum at 4:42 PM on November 9, 2011

Now, YO IS THIS SEXIST?
posted by hepta at 6:15 PM on November 10, 2011 [1 favorite]