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Be One With The Wild
November 8, 2011 3:57 PM   Subscribe


 
Rule 34 y'all.
posted by The Whelk at 3:59 PM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


I wonder how NAMBLA feels about this.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 4:00 PM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


I have my problems with the Boy Scouts, but beards are not among them. I would grow a beard like that if I could get away with it, and I absolutely will.

While they have a massive number of negative points, the Boy Scouts get something for acknowledging the awesomeness of the beard that takes time.
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 4:01 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


I wonder how Jerry Sandusky feels about this.
posted by squorch at 4:01 PM on November 8, 2011


Whew! For a second I thought it was going to be something like this. Now that would be weird.
posted by googly at 4:01 PM on November 8, 2011 [13 favorites]


What? What is going on? Where did they get that childhood photo of me?
posted by griphus at 4:01 PM on November 8, 2011


(That's a joke, everyone. I was never a Scout.)
posted by griphus at 4:02 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


*finds marshmallow toasting fork, sticks it in eye*
posted by roger ackroyd at 4:02 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


The Boy Scouts have a well known policy against bears, as well as four legged animals that live in the woods.
posted by Apropos of Something at 4:02 PM on November 8, 2011 [8 favorites]


Boy Scout #1: When do we get the beer?
Boy Scout #2: No no no. Beard. B-E-A-R-D.
Boy Scout #1: What.
posted by jimmythefish at 4:03 PM on November 8, 2011 [7 favorites]


Great. I'm going to have horrible nightmares tonight about smiling little uniformed man-boys.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:03 PM on November 8, 2011


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posted by KokuRyu at 4:05 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


So those ZZ Top fellas were in scouts eh?
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 4:06 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


That's awesome! When did they introduce a Bitter Old Punk merit badge?
posted by Dr. Zira at 4:09 PM on November 8, 2011 [9 favorites]


As a gay person who's done a lot of volunteering for them, I have a strange sort of affection/aversion concerning the BSA.

The ad campaign is super adorable - but the man-boy motif brings to mind some "Man Scouts" I've known - adult Boy Scout/Cub Scout leaders who are more enamored of the badges and awards they can earn than any benefit they provide to actual young people.

Like, I want to see a parody series of these with bearded boys staggering under the weight of their Wood Badge woggles, Silver Beaver awards and knot patches.
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 4:09 PM on November 8, 2011 [6 favorites]


Well, it is Movember.
posted by vidur at 4:10 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I think part of what I love about this (kind of creepy) campaign is that it has, at its core, the idea that boys should want to grow up to be beard wearers. In a society which not too long ago (and to a large extent still) held up men with beards as being unclean, or not serious, or not worthy on all manner of levels, I think this is an excellent message to send to young men everywhere.
posted by hippybear at 4:13 PM on November 8, 2011 [9 favorites]


Is it just me, or does it look like that second kid dropped acid!? (That distracted, wistful expression, pupils the size of plates, has a beard, etc.)
posted by Krazor at 4:20 PM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


Scary! It's like tiny benjamin buttons running around all over the place.
posted by Bron-Y-Aur at 4:23 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I was the world's worst boy scout. By the time most kids my age were already approaching Eagle Scout, I was like still on only the second or third rank. I hated earning merit badges and my main interest was going camping once a month.

Had there been some kind of beard-growing aspect to scouting, I imagine I would have been a much better scout. My beard is awful, but I would have grown it with unbridled enthusiasm.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:25 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


The Boy Scout truth is ; If you don't achieve your Eagle Scout Award they inject you with a chemical to make your beard thin and patchy.

Hence my lack of manly facial hair.
posted by hot_monster at 4:25 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


hippybear: "In a society which not too long ago (and to a large extent still) held up men with beards as being unclean, or not serious, or not worthy on all manner of levels, I think this is an excellent message to send to young men everywhere."

Agreed. I think beards are on their way back.

Conincidentally relevant episode of 30 Rock playing on Comedy Central right now:

Nancy Donovan: Come on, Liz, every man in this room is single. Who do you want to meet?

Liz Lemon: NNNNobody. I mean, that guy has a beard. Who knows what's under there...

posted by Dr. Zira at 4:31 PM on November 8, 2011


Great. I'm going to have horrible nightmares tonight about smiling little uniformed man-boys.

Every fuckin' Tuesday, like clockwork.
posted by Divine_Wino at 4:31 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Ron Swanson would approve.
posted by infinitewindow at 4:34 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


They're like cute little veterans from the US Civil War. I'm torn by this campaign because on the one hand uniforms are ruinous to a man's soul but on the other hand glorifying beards is indeed glorious.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 4:37 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


Hell, I never made it past Webelos. I'm 47 and still only need to shave once a week.
posted by perhapses at 4:38 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I wonder how NAMBLA feels about this.

It scored a 9 out of 10 on the NAMBLA Moral Disambiguation Index.
posted by jimmythefish at 4:41 PM on November 8, 2011


I was in the worlds worst boy scout troupe. All we did was play touch football in the gym of the school where the meetings were. Once a year we went camping, we ran around in the woods shooting roman candles at each other pretending to be Rambo. We didn't even have uniforms. I broke my arm playing touch football and the scout master said "it ain't broken, if it was broken you would be pissing yourself" and kept me in the game. Good times.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:42 PM on November 8, 2011 [8 favorites]


it's like someone in PR is gay, but forced to be closeted at work, and they wanted to make a commentary about the boy scouts and a life time of bearding.
posted by nadawi at 4:44 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


I belonged to a eird fascist Lutheran youth group. My bear was cursed off my face when I left the church. True story!

If, by "true," you understand "made up." Well, the cursed part. The fascism part, not so much.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:44 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Metafilter : if it was broken you would be pissing yourself

also, fuckin' hipster scouts
posted by mannequito at 4:44 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


also, as a mormon teenage girl, i wished for boy scouts. young women's group sucked so hard.
posted by nadawi at 4:45 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


In a society which not too long ago (and to a large extent still) held up men with beards as being unclean, or not serious, or not worthy on all manner of levels, I think this is an excellent message to send to young men everywhere.

That's interesting because while I agree that there is a "dirty hippies with their beards" vibe sometimes, it seems like every man I know between 50 and 65 has a beard; I think it might have more to do with the age of the man wearing the beard than any general rule about beards.

That said, I am completely incapable of growing a beard, so I hate all y'all beard having motherfuckers.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 4:52 PM on November 8, 2011


I was unaware that the Boy Scouts actively recruited on a national level. I assumed it was up to the local troops to advertise to kids in the community.
posted by asnider at 4:54 PM on November 8, 2011


Is it just me, or does it look like that second kid dropped acid!?

This situation is just ripe for some primo Photoshop fun.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:55 PM on November 8, 2011


My two boys are currently in Cub Scouts. Nice people. Dumb as a basket of bluebirds, though.

Except for the one German father that doesn't talk much. Dude showed up to "launch your water rocket day" with a kick-ass compressor-controlled system that blew 2-liter plastic bottles straight into the fucking sky. Awesome. Werner Von BRO!
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:03 PM on November 8, 2011 [12 favorites]


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All righty, then.
posted by Gator at 5:16 PM on November 8, 2011


Great. I'm going to have horrible nightmares tonight about smiling little uniformed man-boys.

AKA "Tea Party protesters".


sorry
posted by darkstar at 5:17 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


When I wear a tie, I also wear my Eagle Scout tie tack. Always.

My beard is clipped short most of the time. I approach half an inch or so only during the winter plumage phase.

Eagle was earned when I was 17. The beard? That didn't come in until I was 24...
posted by caution live frogs at 5:21 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Creepy and cute!

Which seems apt. I dunno what Scouts are like in the US, but over here in the UK it's a weird scene.

On the one hand there's a lot of disturbing stuff: you pledge to 'Fear God, honour the Queen and love the Brotherhood' at every meeting, and the whiff of Baden-Powell's, um, ambiguos approach to fascism hangs over proceedings. On the other hand, there's some lovely stuff in the Scout Law - 'a Scout helps others whatever it may cost him'. I never made it past the little kid version - Beavers, Cubs? - but can still remember the words we had to recite off the top of my head. Possibly because the whole Queen and God business seemed so freaky.

nadawi: "as a mormon teenage girl, i wished for boy scouts. young women's group sucked so hard."

I honestly can't tell if that's the set up for the filthiest joke I've ever heard or a genuine childhood reminiscence.
posted by jack_mo at 5:21 PM on November 8, 2011 [14 favorites]


You know who else has beards? Radical terrorist jihad muslims. I'm not sayin'.... I'm just sayin'.
posted by GilloD at 5:23 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have to disagree caution, once I started my Eagle project at 14, the beard started with it. All the Eagles I know have awesome beards and all the non-Eagles do not. Hmmm... me thinks that correlation can be causation in this case.
posted by Nackt at 5:25 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


So, this is some sort of Daniel Beard joke...?
posted by blaneyphoto at 5:31 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


My two boys are currently in Cub Scouts. Nice people. Dumb as a basket of bluebirds, though.

I love when people are honest about their kids
posted by Midnight Rambler at 5:34 PM on November 8, 2011 [27 favorites]


I can't decide if it is super creepy and pedophilic, or kind of winking and nodding at the creepiness while really being all innocent.
posted by Forktine at 5:41 PM on November 8, 2011



I honestly can't tell if that's the set up for the filthiest joke I've ever heard or a genuine childhood reminiscence.


ha! no. genuine. for mormon teens, the boys have scouting and the girls have "young women's" - the girls' group is making pie tin art and knitting and how to make a budget and taking care of babies and coming up with service projects. very dull stuff compared to the camping and such.
posted by nadawi at 5:41 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I was a Boy Scout once, on my way to Eagle too. Turned out I was too gay to be worth being a scout.

I don't think there is anything creepy about these adds, but we shouldn't forget what the Boy Scouts is.
posted by Blasdelb at 5:47 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


FYI, asnider, this is a recruitment campaign for a local Council, not a National campaign.
posted by jazon at 6:05 PM on November 8, 2011


When I was in the Boy Scouts, only one of my peers had a beard. (The rest of us couldn't get girlfriends of any sort.)
posted by Sys Rq at 6:22 PM on November 8, 2011 [7 favorites]


Metafilter: smiling little uniformed man-boys.
posted by DisreputableDog at 6:42 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


it seems like every man I know between 50 and 65 has a beard

2011 - 60 = 1951 so they were in their twenties through the '70s. Do these gentlemen typically have a calm slightly self-satisfied smile and always tidily dressed? I surmise that those are grown-up nerds. A lot of my friends' dads are like that. Grown up nerds with a neatly trimmed beard. Made a comfortable and enjoyable life in electronics/computers/synthetic chemistry ("I just want to say one word to you. Just one word.") during the '80s and '90s.

Damned good people.
posted by porpoise at 6:53 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


I was a cub scout, but I quit because I couldn't manage being a Webelo.
posted by rikschell at 7:00 PM on November 8, 2011


I can't imagine that the mormons (who effectively control the BSA's pursestrings) are going to be terribly happy about this.
posted by schmod at 7:01 PM on November 8, 2011


Che barba...
posted by tss at 7:02 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I wonder how NAMBLA feels about this.

I wonder how NAMBBLA feels about this.

North American Mam Boy Bowling Love Association
posted by pianomover at 7:18 PM on November 8, 2011


I was unaware that the Boy Scouts actively recruited on a national level. I assumed it was up to the local troops to advertise to kids in the community.

Their recruitment numbers have been plumiting over the last decade. It is still very popular in certain parts of the country and with Mormons. But elsewhere they can't escape their image as homophobes. While parents aren't all the PFLAG crowd they don't want to send their kids to the John Birch Society, Jr either.

I was an Eagle Scout. I fought my local district to stand up to the national council's homophobia and was kicked out for it. I am more proud of that than earning my Eagle. Though shamed by my inability to grow a beard.
posted by munchingzombie at 7:26 PM on November 8, 2011 [9 favorites]


I'm looking forward to the day that BSA enters the 21st century and becomes GBLTQ friendly and accepting towards non-monotheists. The Girl Scouts are doing just fine with the rest of us here in the 21st century. Why so backwards, Boy Scouts?
posted by Skwirl at 7:43 PM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


More like Boy Scouts of Canada.

Eh? Amirite? Eh?
posted by Slackermagee at 7:48 PM on November 8, 2011


I was in cub scouts for a while, and bolted when they started trying to force religion on me.
posted by kaibutsu at 8:56 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I wonder how NAMBBLA feels about this.

The extra B is for BEARDS!
posted by chemoboy at 8:59 PM on November 8, 2011


Here's my beard!
Ain't it weird?
Don't be skeered,
It's just a beard.

Now that I've shared this affair of the hair,
I think I'll repair to my lair and use Nair.
Do you care?
posted by Ratio at 9:08 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


BSA is a mixed bag for sure. Institutionally they have some problems, especially with regard to their treatment of folks who don't fit their very old worldview. But on the ground floor there are a lot of folks in BSA who get paid nothing and are absolutely in it to benefit and help the young boys who are able to participate.

My dad is one of those folks. He's been a scoutmaster most of his adult life. I'm a huge disappointment to him --I never got my Eagle scout, instead I dropped out after First Class and pursued my own interests with music and theater-- but he never held it against me because ultimately the most important thing to him was making sure his boy scouts were having a good time and learning how to be responsible, honorable citizens (I just ended up doing that in different ways).

He's been so dedicated to boy scouts, especially the "boys" part, all his life. I can remember several times throughout my youth when I witnessed him totally call out some of those "man scouts" mentioned above-- he had no tolerance for leaders who weren't there for the kids. Two years ago he was awarded the Silver Beaver, a very prestigious award that is only given to BSA leaders who do not seek it, and only after years and years of dedicated service. My dad doesn't cry often, but when he won that award he couldn't hold back the tears.

I don't always feel great about the BSA, but when I think about my dad I feel a little better. There are lot of men out there who are probably better men for the time they spent with him, learning about the importance of environmental stewardship, resourcefulness, citizenship, and service within their communities. And even though I never really had my heart in it, my dad's dedication to his boy scouts has been a huge influence and inspiration in my life, and when we go camping I always make sure to leave the campsite better than when I found it.

Also, beards are a wonderful thing and any campaign that aims to cultivate a love of beards in our young people is alright with me.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:08 PM on November 8, 2011 [8 favorites]


I love when people are honest about their kids

/me tips cap. Well played, sir.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:25 PM on November 8, 2011


nadwai

as a mormon teenage boy, i yearned for young women, it seemed all kind and cooperative, and useful...you do not know the level of big horn ram style head butting that went into young mens.
posted by PinkMoose at 9:28 PM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


We know the Boy Scouts have been taken over by the Mormon Church, which makes me wonder if Mormonism has a beard requirement.
posted by jeffburdges at 9:29 PM on November 8, 2011


We know the Boy Scouts have been taken over by the Mormon Church, which makes me wonder if Mormonism has a beard requirement.
Not anymore.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 9:35 PM on November 8, 2011


The mormon church now has a strong anti beard stance. It can mostly be blamed on Kimball, which is totes sad, because Lorenzo Snow had the best beard of all time
posted by PinkMoose at 9:35 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


However, the Sons of the Beard (beardites) may rise again, ousting the anti-beardites from their position of power. Thus is it ever.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 9:40 PM on November 8, 2011


The mormon church now has a strong anti beard stance.

I wasn't sure if you were joking about this, so I googled it.

There is not very much about Mormons that doesn't turn out to be weirder than I initially think.
posted by brennen at 9:42 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


They all look like a bunch of little Wahabbis!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 10:56 PM on November 8, 2011


The boy scouts taught me how to use and carry knives and handaxes, and how to shoot a rifle. Archery was involved too. Also how to trail people without being seen. And of course how to start fires. For the knot merit badge I learned how to make a noose.

I still have my compass.
posted by longsleeves at 11:56 PM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Longsleeves: these are all useful talents for a secret agent!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 5:39 AM on November 9, 2011


But elsewhere they can't escape their image as homophobes.

Not to mention atheistphobes. Actually, I wouldn't even care if they hate atheists as long as they didn't make kids pretend to not be.
posted by DU at 5:57 AM on November 9, 2011


I was a cub scout, but I quit because I couldn't manage being a Webelo.

I believe that describes my husband to a T. He is also clean shaven.

The decline of Scouting makes me sad. Most of my good memories from childhood involve scouting. I love hiking in the woods to this day, although I haven't gone rock climbing or back packing for decades. I do believe that now more than ever kids should get a chance to interact with mother nature and learn the woodsman skills that can stick with you all your life: knot tying, compass reading, tree identification, fire safety, star gazing, and so on.* It's too bad that Scouting has always been a little too closely bound up with organized religion and fascism.


*Not to mention goofy songs. One night at dinner, my husband and I were struggling to remember the lyrics to "On Top of Spaghetti" and we found them on line at Scoutsongs.com along with a lot of other songs we had forgotten.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:08 AM on November 9, 2011


SLoG, not to mention Ging Gang Goolie!
posted by Iteki at 6:16 AM on November 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I know! We could do a whole post about the great campfire and hiking songs of our youth. To this day when I am hiking in the woods I sometimes hear in my head:

Left.
Left.
Left, right, left.
I left my wife and 42 kids
and an old bottle of Pepsi without any fizz
I said Left
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:35 AM on November 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Not to mention atheistphobes. Actually, I wouldn't even care if they hate atheists as long as they didn't make kids pretend to not be

All of us over at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, BSA Troop 509 is sending out plenty of godless reverence to this thread. Come to think of it we do seem to inexplicably attract the gay and jewish scouts---meetings are about as religious as the Pledge of Allegiance. I never really thought about it until now, how different the mormon troops must be.
posted by dongolier at 6:39 AM on November 9, 2011


My cousins grew up in a very Jewish suburb of Baltimore, and my uncle had to have a talk with their scoutmaster -- who, along with most of the scouts, was Jewish as well -- to the effect that they should not be forced to participate in the god-related stuff because they were being raised as atheist Jews.

Being Jewish is complicated, man.
posted by griphus at 6:45 AM on November 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Used Boy Scout uniforms are trendy among teenage girls in Shibuya. I had my own decked-out-with-badges one sent to me just to one up them, because being cooler than teenage girls is important to me
posted by MangyCarface at 7:19 AM on November 9, 2011 [4 favorites]


how different the mormon troops must be.

Location makes a difference too. I was raised mormon and my dad has always been scoutmaster in mormon troops. But, when we lived in California the atmosphere was vastly different then when we lived in Utah. Even the mormon troops (at least in my neck of the woods, on Vandenberg Air Force Base) weren't that religious, other than the fact that we said a prayer and held troop meetings in the church.

When we moved to Utah it was very different. Greater religious...pressures shall we say. And yet for my dad, even though he gave lip service to that idea on some level (and he is a true believing mormon), when it came to actual scouting he didn't care if you believed in god or if you were gay or anything like that, as long as you were on time, in uniform, and having a good time.

Oh yeah and don't even think about playing with fire or he will rip away your Firem'n Chit without a second's thought. That shit is serious business.
posted by Doleful Creature at 7:27 AM on November 9, 2011


Well, it's creepy, but it's not as creepy as the current Girl Scouts campaign.
posted by atbash at 8:45 AM on November 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


> Well, it's creepy, but it's not as creepy as the current Girl Scouts campaign.

It took me a moment to figure that one out. Yikes.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 8:52 AM on November 9, 2011


Not to mention Atheistophobe

I am an atheist in addition to being gay but my troop was very tolerant with both. They were, in fact, encouraging. When the hetero boys go off in the woods for a circle jerk and you are the only one running off because you are affraid everyone will know they kinda figure out what is up.

But, of the two I found it was much easier being an atheist who goes through the motions than pretending to not be gay. Really odd. So, I don't intentionally ignore their other bigotries (they are also not find of their women-folk).
posted by munchingzombie at 9:40 AM on November 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm kinda like, what the fuck? I loves me some men with beards. But seeing them on boys, not so much. Squicks me out.

Whatever the intention, that's fine, but man that made me uncomfortable.
posted by wallabear at 9:27 PM on November 9, 2011


A friend of mine who is very involved at the state-level of the BSA told me that the badges, pins, and epaulets on these "models" are totally wrong in terms of placement, currentness and that even what one could describe as "rank" (apparently two of the boys are wearing a couple of items that are only worn by staff and adult leaders). He says that it's so bad in terms of accuracy by the ad agency that it's become a kind of game to point out mistakes.
posted by webhund at 7:49 AM on November 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


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