"Happy Birthday to you!"

November 26, 2011 7:33 AM

Gaga singing into my vagina: [SLYT] "Ok, it was my sister's and my dad's birthday the day I met Gaga. So I asked her if she could wish them a happy birthday into my crotch, because we couldn't bring phones up and I snuck it into my pants. This is what she said, well sang. _{Not my vagina. The poster of this video.}
posted by Fizz (61 comments total)

Call me when you get James Hetfield to sing into your crotch.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 7:35 AM on November 26, 2011 [6 favorites]

I find 1983 Madonna prettier today than I did then.

Just something that occurred to me just now.
posted by Trurl at 7:43 AM on November 26, 2011

I will never get this image out of my head......
posted by tomswift at 7:43 AM on November 26, 2011

What's the appeal of Lady Gaga for people?
posted by Bwithh at 7:44 AM on November 26, 2011

Oooh!! She said 'vagina'!! Oooh!!
posted by pompomtom at 7:48 AM on November 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

"What's the appeal of Lady Gaga for people?"

What other major entertainer is going to get that close to your vagina?
posted by tomswift at 7:49 AM on November 26, 2011 [8 favorites]

What's the appeal of Lady Gaga for people?

She's got a good beat and you can dance to her.
posted by Trurl at 7:49 AM on November 26, 2011 [16 favorites]

What other major entertainer is going to get that close to your vagina?

As I understand it, a whole hell of a lot of them.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 7:53 AM on November 26, 2011 [10 favorites]

She sang happy birthday into someone's sister's and someone's daughter's VAGINA CELLPHONE, what's not to love?
posted by Blasdelb at 7:54 AM on November 26, 2011 [8 favorites]

What's the appeal of Lady Gaga for people?

She's got a good beat and you can dance to her.

That's what she the vagina said!
posted by Fizz at 7:54 AM on November 26, 2011

Great, now I'm picturing Rudy Valee, but instead of a megaphone, he's crooning into a Fleshlight.

"Hello my baby, hello my honey..."
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:58 AM on November 26, 2011 [3 favorites]

What other major entertainer is going to get that close to your vagina?

Gene Simmons?
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 8:01 AM on November 26, 2011 [6 favorites]

Note that this singing technique only works when the subject is female. If Lady Gaga sang into a guy's crotch, there's a good chance he'd poke 'er face.

Thanks, I'll be here all night.
posted by rh at 8:09 AM on November 26, 2011 [18 favorites]

I'm confused. She sang into the girls vagina and then her vagina recorded Gaga through a cellphone and replayed it later on for her Sister or someone else's sister? And the cellphone was in this girls vagina or in her sisters vagina???

Or..something....

Sigh. This is obviously not the first time a vagina has left me deeply confused. it's just a whole world down there...
posted by Skygazer at 8:10 AM on November 26, 2011 [4 favorites]

rh: I see wut u did there.
posted by rusty at 8:15 AM on November 26, 2011

"Hello my baby..."

Now I'm picturing Michigan J. Frog high-stepping around the vagina...

DO NOT WANT
posted by Trurl at 8:15 AM on November 26, 2011 [9 favorites]

Her art has been commended as strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
posted by Skeptic at 8:29 AM on November 26, 2011 [30 favorites]

If Lady Gaga sang into a guy's crotch, there's a good chance he'd poke 'er face.

"Hi there, little monster ..."
posted by ZenMasterThis at 8:29 AM on November 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

At this point, any comment I could make should be deleted..... I'm going to go make a turkey sandwich......
posted by tomswift at 8:33 AM on November 26, 2011

Sceptic: Her art has been commended as strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.

Yeah, fine whatever. Vagina etc....

Now can you please explain what the hell happened here, cos I don't think there's anyway for a Vagina cellphone to tap out a phone number, is there? I mean well yeah, I guess the clit might work but it'd need to be majorly erect and has some pretty solid tensile strength. Unless it was a smartphone like an Iphone and then, I imagine even the labias could be used to navigate through for a call.

Also, is there an app for that? And, also, I wonder if Apple has bought the trademark to iVagina?

But really can someone explain how this worked, kthxby.


Let's face it folks. Vagina is the most powerful tool in the universe. Is there anything it cannot do??
posted by Skygazer at 8:37 AM on November 26, 2011

"Hey Siri. Record Gaga."

That's got to be a command, right?

More props to her. How many other artists would have ignored her, or worse, called security to confiscate the phone for fear of bootleggers?
posted by Jilder at 8:42 AM on November 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

True story. I once knew a girl who could make her vagina whistle "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy."

She did it for me in a bar, through her pants of course, there was no nudity involved, it was all very wholesome. Sort of. And I gotta say, as a way to have all your drinks bought for you for free forever, that's pretty much the neatest trick...

I mean, don't get me wrong, it didn't break any loudness levels, it was very very very quiet and you have to listen very very carefully.
posted by Skygazer at 8:43 AM on November 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

I see a whole series of Vagina Phone Concerts. Forget tiny desks and black cabs, the vagina is where it's at.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 8:45 AM on November 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Siri with a fringe on top.
posted by ShutterBun at 8:54 AM on November 26, 2011 [9 favorites]

It says something revealing about me that I'm mostly blown away by how a recording with that much quality can be made through a pair of pants on a cell phone.
posted by Apropos of Something at 9:29 AM on November 26, 2011 [3 favorites]

Lady GaGa? In my vagina?
posted by gene_machine at 9:31 AM on November 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

GaGa up the fufu
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:33 AM on November 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

God, warn people if they are going to see Terry Richardson.
posted by R. Mutt at 9:39 AM on November 26, 2011 [7 favorites]

Is this something I'd have to have a vagina to understand?
posted by mazola at 9:41 AM on November 26, 2011

Is this thread simply another excuse to say the word GaGa?
posted by found missing at 9:45 AM on November 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yeah Terry Richardson is super creepy.
posted by peacheater at 9:51 AM on November 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, Vagina-Phone!
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:59 AM on November 26, 2011 [7 favorites]

What other major entertainer is going to get that close to your vagina?

k. d. lang?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:02 AM on November 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

But really can someone explain how this worked

It's 2011. Phones aren't just phones any more. They're also voice recorders. Someone with a vagina set hers to record and then put it in her pocket. Lady Gaga, who also has a vagina, sang into it. The rest, as they say, is history.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 10:10 AM on November 26, 2011 [4 favorites]

I'm trying to imagine Shatner doing this.

No, not really. Just snarking. Forget I said that.
posted by Mcable at 10:14 AM on November 26, 2011

I was confused by the "SLYT" part of this: one would think that the video should be pretty dark.
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 10:15 AM on November 26, 2011

I'm trying to imagine Shatner doing this.

Meh. Talks too slow. He'd eat all your minutes.
Of course considering where the cell phone was that might not be a bad thing.
posted by Poet_Lariat at 10:17 AM on November 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Lady Gaga, who also has a vagina...

This is disputed.
posted by Trurl at 10:18 AM on November 26, 2011

This is disputed.

The whole "ohhh...she's a really a tranny" kind-of-jokey think that I hear so often about her sounds to me a lot like 45 years ago when people whispered "do you know he has some Black in his family" behind someone's back. Just saying....

_{only 40 years ago they didn't say 'Black'}
posted by Poet_Lariat at 10:26 AM on November 26, 2011 [12 favorites]

she has a vagaga.
posted by kingv at 10:31 AM on November 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

Call me when you get Dave Mustaine to sing into your crotch.
posted by Beardman at 10:58 AM on November 26, 2011

Lady Gaga has the vagina. In the Platonic sense.
posted by Apropos of Something at 11:05 AM on November 26, 2011 [9 favorites]

Yeah Terry Richardson is super creepy.


Yeah, seeing his gross mug was a buzzkill.

I mean, I can see the value in affecting a persona to further one's career, but when the persona and aesthetic one lights upon is "1978 child molester from Topeka" I just don't even.

It's like he looks in the mirror every day and practices saying "Hey, little girl, I've got a puppy in my van."



What the screaming yellow fuck.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:15 PM on November 26, 2011 [4 favorites]

Call me when you get Rob Halford to sing into your crotch.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:18 PM on November 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ring ring ring ring,
Ring ring ring,
Vaginaphone
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:40 PM on November 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

Beaten, you utter cad.
posted by Samizdata at 12:49 PM on November 26, 2011

Ever if I was going to try "Clit ring, clit ring..." and so on.
posted by Samizdata at 12:50 PM on November 26, 2011

Rob Halford ftw MFs
posted by rahnefan at 12:58 PM on November 26, 2011

Lady Gaga is a good person.

[In case we're still doing the whole "who cares about this celebrity?" yadda yadda]
posted by Lemurrhea at 1:38 PM on November 26, 2011 [4 favorites]

I dunno, we can do this whole "you kids get off my lawn, with your Gaga!" schtick all night, or we can focus on the fact that some random fangirl asked her to sing into her crotch, and she: 1) didn't freak out, 2) actually obliged her, 3) thought to insert (ha!) "your sister's and your daughter's vagina cellphone," and 4) sounded pretty good, considering the circumstances.
posted by LMGM at 2:08 PM on November 26, 2011 [8 favorites]

Skeptic: Her art has been commended as strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.

Skygazer: Yeah, fine whatever.

I wonder if you, Skygazer, have misinterpreted Skeptic's comment, which is a (near) quote from The Big Lebowski. (But maybe I've misinterpreted yours and this information was already known to you.)
posted by stebulus at 2:17 PM on November 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

What's the appeal of Lady Gaga for people?

She's got a good beat and you can dance to her.

On the dancability rankings, other entertainers whose music is similarly intensely danceable include Michael Jackson, and... beyond that I start to draw a blank.

I'm not sure if even Madonna ranks as highly for dancing, though her music is better in other ways (as it should be given that she's had an extra 20 years)

I have seen Lady Gaga's music take over a dance studio in a way that I've never seen before or since.

But time will tell.
posted by -harlequin- at 3:34 PM on November 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ring ring ring ring,
Ring ring ring,
Vaginaphone

It's customary to set it to vibrate.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 3:41 PM on November 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Is this thread simply another excuse to say the word GaGa?

Is this thread simply another excuse to say the word vagina?
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 4:15 PM on November 26, 2011

[Declaring someone to be other than their stated gender is sexism of a rather pernicious sort, and also not germane to the conversation. Please don't do this. ]
posted by restless_nomad at 5:01 PM on November 26, 2011 [8 favorites]

This is disputed.

Only by mysogenists, Trurl.
posted by IAmBroom at 5:30 PM on November 26, 2011

Oh, for fuck's sakes.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:46 PM on November 26, 2011

The sound quality on that vagina phone is amazing.
posted by djduckie at 8:31 PM on November 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: not my vagina.
posted by herbplarfegan at 10:58 PM on November 26, 2011

Totally the opposite of Banana Phone.
posted by hermitosis at 7:47 AM on November 27, 2011

Bwithh: "What's the appeal of Lady Gaga for people?"

Madonna's term was up. Every 25 years, a cabal of gay puertorican teenagers elect their queen.
posted by falameufilho at 9:31 AM on November 28, 2011