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Every day is like Monday
November 30, 2011 1:02 PM   Subscribe


 
Meetings is murder.
posted by dr. boludo at 1:05 PM on November 30, 2011 [16 favorites]


Work is a four letter word.
posted by stinkycheese at 1:06 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


1999?

That joke isn't funny anymore.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:06 PM on November 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


"We Hate It When Our Co-workers Use Comic Sans"
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 1:08 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've seen this happen in other peoples lives and now it's happening in mine.
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 1:09 PM on November 30, 2011 [5 favorites]


His hair remains blissfully unemployed.
posted by tommasz at 1:09 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


"The Boy with 3 Dilbert Cartoons Taped Up in His Side of the Cubicle"
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 1:12 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


No one does Moz humor like Great Pop Things. (Scroll down a bit.)
posted by mintcake! at 1:14 PM on November 30, 2011


Sheila, take a letter.
posted by Decani at 1:16 PM on November 30, 2011 [12 favorites]


Morrissey has just discovered that some cubicles are bigger than others.
posted by daniel_charms at 1:18 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm having trouble looking at the content. I keep glancing at the URL and thinking "Angelfire. Angelfire? Angelfire... Angelfire!?"
posted by Tomorrowful at 1:19 PM on November 30, 2011 [20 favorites]


that's nothing you should hear him play piano
posted by The Whelk at 1:20 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


I Started a Third Quarter Budget Analysis I Couldn't Finish.
posted by Ratio at 1:25 PM on November 30, 2011


How Soon Is Lunch?
posted by mintcake! at 1:27 PM on November 30, 2011 [34 favorites]


"to obtain a real full version paper booklet of this cute story drop me a line, fatty"

What does he mean by using the word 'fatty? Is this some 1999 street talk that has passed out of use?
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 1:27 PM on November 30, 2011


The pay was enough to make a shy, bald Buddhist reflect and plan a mass murder.
posted by Bummus at 1:27 PM on November 30, 2011 [4 favorites]


Spineless bastards all.
posted by blucevalo at 1:30 PM on November 30, 2011


What does he mean by using the word 'fatty? Is this some 1999 street talk that has passed out of use?

Um. Unless you were joking?
posted by Summer at 1:30 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


He never had a job, because he never wanted one.
posted by snofoam at 1:33 PM on November 30, 2011


I would go to work today / But I haven't got a stitch to wear
posted by exogenous at 1:36 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


It pays my way, and it corrodes my soul.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:39 PM on November 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


Girlfriend in a cubicle; I know, I know, it's serious.
posted by Curious Artificer at 1:42 PM on November 30, 2011 [7 favorites]


Metafilter, this was really nothing.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:48 PM on November 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


Heaven knows I'm miserable now.

Did I do that right?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:49 PM on November 30, 2011


Take the team out/ tonight/ Where there's martinis and there's hot wings/ and they're all half-priced ...
posted by Bookhouse at 1:51 PM on November 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


What does he mean by using the word 'fatty?

Lip up, fatty.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:52 PM on November 30, 2011


Did I do that right?

"I was looking for a job and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now...."

Yes. Yes, you did.
posted by gimonca at 1:52 PM on November 30, 2011


"Something Is Squeezing My 401k"
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 1:53 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


There is a light and it never goes out because we're on three shifts here
posted by dismas at 1:53 PM on November 30, 2011 [4 favorites]


Video: Morrissey and his Band of Young Men perform on Conan last night: "People Are The Same Everywhere".
posted by ericb at 2:00 PM on November 30, 2011


So they had a vacancy for a
Back ... scrubber?
posted by chavenet at 2:03 PM on November 30, 2011


Why would Morrissey need to work? I thought he was the son and heir of Nothing In Particular Inc.
posted by spoobnooble at 2:13 PM on November 30, 2011 [8 favorites]


Corporate America, your head's too big.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:15 PM on November 30, 2011


Why would Morrissey need to work?

What he said; he works 'cause he's hoping for an early death.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:16 PM on November 30, 2011


To attend meetings by your side,
The pleasure, the privilege is mine.
posted by ardgedee at 2:23 PM on November 30, 2011


Office workers of the world
Unite and take over
Office workers of the world
Hand it over!
Hand it over!
Hand it over!

Oh sorry - I thought this was the OWS thread.
posted by Dojie at 2:28 PM on November 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hector was the first of the gang to get promoted to middle management
posted by dismas at 2:39 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Stop me if you think you've heard this one before.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:46 PM on November 30, 2011


Reel Around the Watercooler
posted by Tiresias at 2:47 PM on November 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


If a ten ton taco truck crashes into us,
Lunch?
posted by pianomover at 2:49 PM on November 30, 2011


Please, please, please, let me get the TPS report cover sheet that I want.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:49 PM on November 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


This one has the same computer as Get Your War On.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:52 PM on November 30, 2011


Every day is like Tuesday, every day is silent and grey.

come, come, come, nuclear bomb.
posted by wilful at 2:55 PM on November 30, 2011


At a quick glance I read the FPP as Morrissey gets a hand job... my imagination soared.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 2:58 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


The devil will find work for idle hands to do.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:08 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've always really liked this (which I'm sure I found on the blue many years ago) as an step-by-step illustration of Smiths lyrics
posted by bunglin jones at 3:08 PM on November 30, 2011 [4 favorites]


(I stole office supplies just because you asked me to)
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:09 PM on November 30, 2011


(but now you make me feel so ashamed because I only got rubber bands)
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:12 PM on November 30, 2011


I don't have a funny line that hasn't already been done — I would have liked something along the lines of "I Stapled Something..." but let's just say I couldn't finish it — but this is as good a place as any to note that I have been putting off for years now making a YouTube video or a MeFi Music track or something that makes the case for how Morrissey has, basically, built a career around singing major third and fifth intervals, and little else:

[♪ Morrissey fans / music geeks sing along: FIFTHS LIKE THIS, thirds like this]

"THERE IS a light and it NE-VER GOES out..."
"i was hap-PY IN THE haze of a DRUN-KEN hour..."
"the RAIN FALLS hard on a HUM-DRUM town..."
"ASK me ASK me ASK me..."
"HE said REturn THE ring..."


See? Admittedly, he sometimes throws in a fourth for good measure, like this, but not with much enthusiasm, as the melodies still revolve around the 3rd-5th dynamic:

"ma-king christ-mas cards WITH THE MEN-tal-ly I-ill..."
"THIS CHAR-ar-ar-MING MA-an..."
"it was WORTH-while LI-ving A LAU-gha-ble life..."


And yes, the phenomenon persists through his solo career as well:

"it was a GOOD lay, GOOD lay..."

I know, I should write a paper on Morrissey. Oh wait, I already did!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:28 PM on November 30, 2011 [8 favorites]


UbuRoivas: "(but now you make me feel so ashamed because I only got rubber bands)"

I suppose the obvious one would be "Rubber bands, rubber bands, rubber bands," no?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:30 PM on November 30, 2011


built a career around singing major third and fifth intervals, and little else

yes, we're all Morrissey fans because of the quality of his voice...
posted by wilful at 3:32 PM on November 30, 2011


I love the Angelfire website, it really brings back memories.....
posted by thebestusernameever at 3:39 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why do you work here, when you know it makes things hard for me?
posted by bgrebs at 3:40 PM on November 30, 2011


Frankly, Ms. Destruction, this position he holds paves his way, but it consumes his soul.

He also doesn't know that you write bloody awful poetry.
posted by not_on_display at 3:42 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


As a bomb tester?

(I can hope, can't I?)
posted by jonmc at 4:29 PM on November 30, 2011


Hard drive in a coma, I know I know - it's serious.
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 4:29 PM on November 30, 2011


Angel, Angel, we go down to pick up the copier paper together.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 4:33 PM on November 30, 2011


It's like Danzig and Rollins fall in love all over again.
posted by I love you more when I eat paint chips at 5:10 PM on November 30, 2011


"Rubber bands, rubber bands, rubber bands"

? My Morrissey geekery must be failing me.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:14 PM on November 30, 2011


Yeah, I was being obscure, sorry. Rubber Ring.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:35 PM on November 30, 2011


oh god, i love this thread.
posted by armacy at 6:00 PM on November 30, 2011


Some offices are bigger than others.
posted by hal_c_on at 6:08 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Sadly, this is your life, and when it fails to recoup, well, maybe you just haven't earned it yet, baby.
posted by padraigin at 7:01 PM on November 30, 2011


I am in Human Resources and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 7:01 PM on November 30, 2011 [4 favorites]


oh god, i love this thread.
posted by armacy at 9:00 PM on November 30


Everbody's clever nowadays.
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 7:09 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


A dreaded sunny day
So lets go where we're wanted
And I meet you at the Initech gates
Lumbergh and the Bobs are on your side
But you lose
Becuase Milton is on mine
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 7:16 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Please, please, please let me get the job that I want.
posted by the painkiller at 7:33 PM on November 30, 2011


At the record company meeting...
posted by elmono at 7:40 PM on November 30, 2011


Um yt . Unless you were joking?
posted by Summer at 4:30 PM on November 30 [1 favorite +] [!]


Thanks! Not joking. I've heard this song before, but never realized he was saying the word 'fatty'.
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 9:21 PM on November 30, 2011


Needs the angelfire tag.
posted by grouse at 9:53 PM on November 30, 2011


Call me morbid, call me pale, I spent too long on this email...
posted by uni verse at 6:15 AM on December 1, 2011 [3 favorites]


Ah, they'd sacrifice all of their principles for anything cashable.
posted by SisterHavana at 10:58 AM on December 1, 2011


I know I'm unemployable. You don't have to tell me.
posted by owtytrof at 12:02 PM on December 1, 2011


We hate it when our coworkers become successful.
posted by kirkaracha at 12:55 PM on December 1, 2011


They're always busy! Busy busy! Busy tossers, urgh - I hope they get fired.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:43 PM on December 1, 2011


So came his reply:
"But on the desk is where I want you!"

...and then I called HR.
posted by SisterHavana at 6:36 PM on December 1, 2011


He wears black on the outside, because in the black is where he is on the outside.
posted by mippy at 4:17 AM on December 2, 2011


The Boy with the Well-Worn Behind.

from like...huhuh...sitting in a desk in a chair all day...huuhhu...it's like he sits all day so like...his ass is worn out...
posted by Staples at 4:36 PM on December 2, 2011


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