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Music AND Nude, Together for Almost the First Time
December 3, 2011 10:48 AM   Subscribe

One thing the interwebs has lacked is a one-stop source for pictures of naked people with various musical instruments. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to bring you: MusicAndNude / My Hot Band! Does what it says on the tin. [NSFW, duh.]

Previously.
posted by ZenMasterThis (64 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
(By "proud to bring you," I mean I discovered this and am now posting it, not that this is a self-post, which it isn't.)
posted by ZenMasterThis at 10:51 AM on December 3, 2011


Are those really bands, or just model shots that happen to have musical instruments?
posted by Think_Long at 10:54 AM on December 3, 2011 [2 favorites]


Is anyone else bothered by the fact that most likely the majority of amateur nudes on the internet were probably posted without the knowledge or consent of their subjects?
posted by nanojath at 10:54 AM on December 3, 2011 [2 favorites]


thinklong: Some of each.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 10:56 AM on December 3, 2011


Yes.
posted by Gator at 10:56 AM on December 3, 2011


Oh, so aside from a very few shots, usually of fucking, there are basically no men in this?

*wanders away*
posted by hippybear at 10:57 AM on December 3, 2011 [7 favorites]


There was a dude in plastic transparent underpants.

I'm not going back for the link, though.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:58 AM on December 3, 2011


[offtopic]

I think that part of sex-ed should have a bullet point "if you allow a nude picture of yourself to be taken, there is a good chance it will be posted to the internet, and a good chance it will be eventually attributed to you". People should be taught that at age 13 or so.

[on-topic]

All of these pictures look very posed, so it's not exactly covert voyeurism going on here.
posted by el io at 10:59 AM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I was kind of surprised it was all women. When people say "nudes here!" I tend to think of the democratic internet having both women and men show up but this was really one sided.

That said, after looking at the site I now have an insatiable urge to fuck a cello.
posted by mathowie at 11:01 AM on December 3, 2011 [6 favorites]


That said, after looking at the site I now have an insatiable urge to fuck a cello.

That cello had better get in line!
posted by hippybear at 11:05 AM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


By people, you mean women.
posted by desjardins at 11:07 AM on December 3, 2011 [2 favorites]


So, you've got a blog, your blog has a theme, that theme is nudes with musical instruments. When you start including pictures of models who an in a room where there just happens to be a musical instrument, but they're not actually interacting with that instrument, I think you kind of piddle away what little cred you started with.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 11:07 AM on December 3, 2011 [6 favorites]


Some of the pictures are / include men. If you're looking for something specific, you can scan the archive.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 11:14 AM on December 3, 2011


I....
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:17 AM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


I tend to think of the democratic internet having both women and men show up but this was really one sided.

It has been observed that there is much less visual porn aimed at women (heterosexual or homosexual) than there is at homosexual men, so this may be an issue of market demand. I'm not sure if I'm 100% convinced by this but I can say that no woman with a camera has ever told me "get naked and hold this saxophone!" so there's an n of 1 for you.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 11:26 AM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


All of that said, I also think the cello as example of female form is really cliched at this point
posted by PinkMoose at 11:28 AM on December 3, 2011 [2 favorites]


Art nude portfolio with a theme and an eye for interesting images (regardless of x and/or y chrom inclusion) = yay!

Porn nude tumblr with a theme = meh.
posted by m@f at 11:31 AM on December 3, 2011


This is obviously his roommate's trumpet.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:46 AM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


This one time, at band camp, I totally didn't click the link.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:46 AM on December 3, 2011


This was worth it if only for making me think of a new epithet: TRUMPETFUCKER
posted by everichon at 11:48 AM on December 3, 2011 [2 favorites]


Yeah too many of these look like teenage girls who took those pictures for someone other than the creator of the blog.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 11:48 AM on December 3, 2011


Yup.
posted by Slackermagee at 11:49 AM on December 3, 2011


relevant achewood strip
posted by dismas at 11:49 AM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is art.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:51 AM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


Not enough hot dudes, and the ones with strings attached to piercings being "played"..aaagh!

This guy couldn't make up for the rest, but him I didn't mind.
posted by emjaybee at 11:55 AM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


No, this is art, though only a few have musical instruments.
posted by Obscure Reference at 11:59 AM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


"if you allow a nude picture of yourself to be taken, there is a good chance it will be posted to the internet, and a good chance it will be eventually attributed to you".

You're totally asking for it!
posted by Phalene at 12:13 PM on December 3, 2011


The archive view does help, but this is also a collection that would benefit from tagging -- for searching both men/women and by instrument. Because apparently the ability to view "men" and "banjo/mandolin" is going to be quite an enjoyable type for me, something I never would have thought (and certainly a sentence I never thought I'd type)

emjaybee: "Not enough hot dudes, and the ones with strings attached to piercings being "played"..aaagh!

This guy couldn't make up for the rest, but him I didn't mind.
"

That dude's kilt seemed longer than most to me, but then I realized why that might need to be. This I also didn't mind.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:16 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is art.

And not just because the photographer ran out of color fim that day!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:16 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


This guy couldn't make up for the rest, but him I didn't mind.

Lad, I don't know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:18 PM on December 3, 2011 [5 favorites]


And, seriously, no dudes?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:18 PM on December 3, 2011



"if you allow a nude picture of yourself to be taken, there is a good chance it will be posted to the internet, and a good chance it will be eventually attributed to you".


I don't feel bad for someone who takes a nude photo today and emails it around, because they totally know what they are getting into. But it wasn't very many years ago that your biggest risk was that your ex might show the photo to a couple people some evening; I feel a bit bad for all the people who took photos thinking they were never going to be seen by more than a couple of people and now find them on the internet.
posted by Forktine at 12:19 PM on December 3, 2011


Surprisingly non-arousing. Considering that I am generally aroused by musical instruments and many naked people, this could be an example of destructive interference. Contrast with this tumblr, which makes me feel funny in my pants with nary a nipple to be seen.
posted by zomg at 12:21 PM on December 3, 2011


mathowie: “That said, after looking at the site I now have an insatiable urge to fuck a cello.”

I went there once. It was kind of neat. That's where the Thomas Jefferson estate is, and they have a museum and everything.

Wait, what?
posted by koeselitz at 12:24 PM on December 3, 2011 [11 favorites]


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Ce n'est pas une guitare



posted by Skygazer at 12:56 PM on December 3, 2011


And, seriously, no dudes?

They're there, but you have to click through many, many lady pics.
posted by emjaybee at 1:00 PM on December 3, 2011


This is really pretty lazy. Bad captions, several duplicates, and most work clearly copyrighted by other sites.
posted by odinsdream at 1:04 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


This guy couldn't make up for the rest, but him I didn't mind.

You know how once you see it, you can't unsee it? I foolishly clicked on the link and saw a gentleman raising his kilt and standing next to a guitar and a banjo and now I'm hearing Scotland the Brave on Banjo in my head and can't make it stop!

AND THERE ISN'T EVEN A VERB FOR THAT!


Oh dear God.... It's like a thing.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 1:07 PM on December 3, 2011


Seriously, no dudes?

Yea that site is certainly lacking without this nipple shot! Ufa! So zeksi!
posted by snsranch at 1:31 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


I think I have an electric organ now.

(Covers head, runs for exit...)
posted by Mcable at 1:44 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


That one dude has a big instrument.
posted by nathancaswell at 1:51 PM on December 3, 2011


I think that part of sex-ed should have a bullet point "if you allow a nude picture of yourself to be taken, there is a good chance it will be posted to the internet, and a good chance it will be eventually attributed to you" most likely by 2016 by a Tineye/scraper/database aggregator where any nosy neighbor, coworker, or ex-spouse can type in your name and pull up your pictures.

That's kind of what I'm expecting to happen.
posted by crapmatic at 2:07 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


(forgot to add: it would undoubtedly be using face recognition technology)
posted by crapmatic at 2:08 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh, so aside from a very few shots, usually of fucking, there are basically no men in this?

Oh please. Do we drop in on your bear threads and bitch about the lack of women?
posted by indubitable at 2:29 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


Needs more f-holes.
posted by Skygazer at 2:30 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm more of an a-hole man myself, but if f-holes are your thing...
posted by nathancaswell at 2:31 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


... using face recognition technology

So from here on out, if you pose for nude photographs, cover your face.

"I don't know, but he's nobody from our school."
posted by Bruce H. at 2:31 PM on December 3, 2011


I sense a sub-cultural hirsute rumble a-brewing.

*Searches for nearest Exit egress.*
posted by Skygazer at 2:35 PM on December 3, 2011


Oh please. Do we drop in on your bear threads and bitch about the lack of women?

Bear sites aren't supposed to have women???!

*skulks away*
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:38 PM on December 3, 2011


Lutoslawski: "I...."

It's a ripe avenue for research - what are the kinds of musical activities one could successfully perform during coitus? There must be a threshold of cognitive and rhythmic load past which performance in one or both begins to suffer. Could you play in 7/8 on jaw harp while keeping 4/4 with your partner? Maintain the circular breathing demanded by a didgeridoo? Simultaneously play both protagonist and slap-bassist in an adult film?

...looks for kaossilator and SO
posted by vanar sena at 2:43 PM on December 3, 2011 [3 favorites]


It's a ripe avenue for research - what are the kinds of musical activities one could successfully perform during coitus?

Worst/Best Hambone EVAR.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:58 PM on December 3, 2011


mathowie: “That said, after looking at the site I now have an insatiable urge to fuck a cello.”

Annette Fuckacello (as I called her once I reached a certain age... I heard her overnight bust development was one of Disney's biggest crises in the '50s-'60s)
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:05 PM on December 3, 2011


I...

L'shana tova?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:18 PM on December 3, 2011 [2 favorites]


Oh please. Do we drop in on your bear threads and bitch about the lack of women?

Oh, pshaw. I just checked my entire posting history, and the closest thing I've ever posted to "a bear thread" was one about naked drawings of Seth Rogan. Anyone who walked into that thread expecting to see naked women would have been foolish to have done so. There is a huge dearth of men in the tumblr linked here, and the wording of the FPP doesn't indicate that it's mostly women. I'm not the only person who was surprised by that lack and said something about it.
posted by hippybear at 4:02 PM on December 3, 2011 [5 favorites]


It would be more interesting to me if they filtered out the ones where the instrument was simply a prop that the subject had no idea of how to play. Of course, its mostly impossible to tell from just a photo, unless they're pretending to play it and their technique is obviously wrong.
posted by Hither at 4:45 PM on December 3, 2011


Needs more cowbell.

Having a good time in nature with a Tuba is now my new catchphrase.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 5:15 PM on December 3, 2011


*registers cellofuckers.com*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:57 PM on December 3, 2011


There is a huge dearth of men in the tumblr linked here...

Especially the huge dearth of one man in particular.
posted by DU at 6:24 PM on December 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


Some of these were pleasant to me, either erotically or comically. But when you've got Sasha Grey, Suicide Girls, or simply mirror self-shots of (hopefully at least) college-aged girls where if you squint you can see the top of a guitar sticking out from behind a bed, it may be time to change the name of the site from My Hot Band to ... I dunno, maybe Nude Girls (Some With Musical Instruments).
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:03 PM on December 3, 2011


All of that said, I also think the cello as example of female form is really cliched at this point

I am not sure it's cliche, exactly, but those pictures just made me ask "have you heard of Man Ray? He had that same idea, like a century ago, but, unlike you, he was good at photography. Loser." On the other hand, I haven't had my coffee this morning, so maybe I am a little harsh.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:52 AM on December 4, 2011 [2 favorites]


FINALLY something to wank to on the internet, I had almost lost hope.
posted by tumid dahlia at 4:16 PM on December 4, 2011 [2 favorites]


I don't feel bad for someone who takes a nude photo today and emails it around, because they totally know what they are getting into. But it wasn't very many years ago that your biggest risk was that your ex might show the photo to a couple people some evening; I feel a bit bad for all the people who took photos thinking they were never going to be seen by more than a couple of people and now find them on the internet.

Forktine, porn mags with user submissions have been around for many decades now. I'm not justifying anyone who violates trust of SOs, past or present, but the internet only sped up the process; it didn't create it.

It has always been true, since before the first man had his mistress commissioned as an erotic figure in a painting, that such images are liable to end up going public. To imagine otherwise is to be intentionally naive. It doesn't remove the guilt of betrayal, but it is liable to happen. Period.

Ergo: don't weep for the loss of privacy of the photo subject - she willingly gave that up at the shutter click; weep if you will for her lost trust.
posted by IAmBroom at 6:18 AM on December 5, 2011



Forktine, porn mags with user submissions have been around for many decades now.


Oh, sure, I can remember looking at those crappy polaroids in I think it was Hustler as a kid. But there's a difference by many orders of magnitudes between how many "amateur" photos a magazine like that could publish over its entire history, and how many photos can show up on just one website.

I mean, I can't name a single person I know who has had his or her nude photo published by surprise in a magazine, but a rather large percentage of people I know have nude photos floating around online. So I don't agree that it is just speeding up an existing process; it's a huge change in quantity, accessibility, and (for lack of a better term) linkability. I'm not shedding tears for anyone, but I think it is important to acknowledge the changes that have been made.
posted by Forktine at 6:50 AM on December 5, 2011


OK, granted, Fortine. The gas pedal has been slammed to the mat since the internet arrived.
posted by IAmBroom at 8:58 PM on December 5, 2011


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