Look up in the sky, it's Rube Goldborg

December 8, 2011 2:47 AM

Here is one of the longer anime robot transformation sequences out there, clocking in at about 3 minutes and 28 seconds. SLYT

Operations procedure:

• Open the hatch, enter the rocket port, grab the handle and ride down the line.
• Land in the chair which turns around.
• Ride down the ramp into the waiting car.
• Drive down the technopipe, shoot out past the sun, and land on the ramp emerging from the earth.
• Continue driving along road while listening to instructions from your dead father.
• Utter the magic command word "Transer-go!"
• Continue driving while Transer's engine bits warm up and jets fire.
• Continue driving while the gigantic carrier vehicle to emerge from the stone dragon head (do not worry, it won't fall into the waves because a roadway will emerge from the sea to facilitate its travel).
• When it lands on the road ahead of you (note: do not operate during periods of heavy traffic) drive the car into alignment with its opening back port. (Sexual innuendo is incompatible with this phase of operation.)
• Listen to the voice of your dead father tell you the second command word.
• Shout "Light speed!"
• This will cause the car to jump off the road into the back of the carrier rig, then connect the car to the interface unit.
• The command chair will launch out into the transit pod, through opening doors, then up into the technodome and control station.
• Various tubes will attach suction cups to your shoulders and head and restraint cuffs attach to your arm. (Getting turned on by this may cause equipment to exceed operational parameters, voiding the warranty.)
• The transport now launches off the launch ramp into the sky.
• Listen while your dead father delivers the final command phrase.
• Shout "Dynamo Battle Turn Now!" Posing here is not required, but you'll probably do it anyway.

If you performed all steps correctly, the truck will transform into super robot Dynamo before it crashes to bits. All steps are necessary for proper operation, Giant Robot Construction Inc. assumes no responsibility in the event of incorrect procedure.

You need more satisfying hott robot transformation action? Here's four robot transformations one after another, including a train and a giant crab. And a short Everything2 essay on the oft-used deus ex machina of Star Blazers, the WAVE MOTION GUN.

posted by JHarris (43 comments total)

It's a unfortunate Freud isn't around to watch anime cartoons, because he could get a good 2-3 articles out of this clip alone.

"I made it with your father"

&c
posted by chavenet at 3:00 AM on December 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

Yeah, I'm slightly obsessed with robot transformations in anime. Here's another one, Voltes V, which is even more Freudian. It's the anime version of the refueling scenes in The Starfighters, Bob Dornan would be right at home in one of those robot cockpits.
posted by JHarris at 3:07 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

"Alien robots are information!"
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:11 AM on December 8, 2011 [5 favorites]

"freudian"
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 3:12 AM on December 8, 2011

man that e² article wasnt very good either
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 3:16 AM on December 8, 2011

I've always found it amusing that in anime (well, the Power Rangers) the bad guys always politely wait for the good guys to transform themselves into the appropriate weapon.
posted by Harry at 3:26 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

If you had played more Bushido Blade, you would know it is a definite no-no to attack people when they are in the middle of powering up.
posted by mek at 3:32 AM on December 8, 2011 [5 favorites]

Of course, on the up-side, you only need to animate it the once...
posted by pompomtom at 3:35 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Crystal Light source? Viral marketing even back in the 70s?
posted by explosion at 3:44 AM on December 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

Not anime but puppets and also not that long. I always loved the Dai-X junction from Starfleet/X-Bomber
posted by Z303 at 3:45 AM on December 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

Did he say "Dynamo battle turd"?
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 3:47 AM on December 8, 2011

Okay, wait, did this come before Voltron, or is it somehow connected to it? Because that robot looks pretty dang Voltron-y, and I'm pretty sure it also had a "grab a pulley, go down a long tube, drop into a car that goes to lion/robot" bit in its sequence.
posted by curious nu at 3:58 AM on December 8, 2011

Made by anime Peter Ustinov (with your late father).
posted by bendybendy at 4:02 AM on December 8, 2011

the sequence itself so wasn't 3:28
posted by fightoplankton at 4:03 AM on December 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

fightoplankton I had actually considered timing out the actual transformation sequence, and got as far as figuring it was about 2:47, before I realized I'd probably inspire at least as many people saying the video was longer, and eventually I realized I was severely overthinking this.

A good part of my time on Metafilter is spend taking slow steps backwards away from something I've already overthought.
posted by JHarris at 4:22 AM on December 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

Wait a minute. Wasn't the guy in the same room as the Transer truck thingy in the first scene? Couldn't he have just climbed in the truck and gone speeding out of the Dragon's head, etc. etc. instead of going down the zip line, getting in the car, and doing a big Dukes of Hazzard jump only to wind up in the back of the truck that was back at the base?

I always thought the Starvengers (Getter Robo G) were cool when I was a kid; they were a team of three different vehicles - One could fly, one was a ground vehicle, and one was aquatic. They could combine to form three different giant robots:

Dragon Formation
Arrow Formation
Poseidon Formation

If giant transforming robots isn't an awesome way to start my morning, I don't know what is!
posted by usonian at 4:26 AM on December 8, 2011

A good part of my time on Metafilter is spend taking slow steps backwards away from something I've already overthought.

So you're saying that sometimes a plate of beans is just a plate of beans?
posted by mek at 4:32 AM on December 8, 2011

I've always found it amusing that in anime (well, the Power Rangers) the bad guys always politely wait for the good guys to transform themselves into the appropriate weapon.

It's not just Japanese cartoons: off the top of my head I remember the old Mighty Hercules show from the 60s where the bad guys would patiently stand by and watch as Hercules pulled his ring out of his belt and put it on and all the thunder and lightning would sound and he would power up. Hell, now that I mention it, He-Man and his opponents did the exact same thing.

Cartoon villains are polite. It's part of the standard contract.
posted by Palindromedary at 4:40 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Meanwhile, in the Near Universe...
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:07 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Made by anime Peter Ustinov

No one ever believes me when I tell them about the time I talked him down from a bridge.
posted by Edogy at 5:19 AM on December 8, 2011

"You're going to ride Dynamo" is another entrant in the Worst Euphemism Contest....
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:27 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

The animated lens flare is hilarious.
posted by oulipian at 5:59 AM on December 8, 2011

Not anime but puppets and also not that long. I always loved the Dai-X junction from Starfleet/X-Bomber

Holy crap this is like something out of a fever dream. When I was younger one of my friends had this series on laser disc, I had forgotten all about it until I saw your linked video. Here's a longer battle sequence from Dai-X that I found.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 6:02 AM on December 8, 2011

The command chair will launch out into the transit pod, through opening doors, then up into the technodome and control station.

Did anyone else think, "We've got Movie Sign!" at this point?
posted by 1970s Antihero at 6:20 AM on December 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

Getter Robo G is something that was buried in my memory that I could never find again. THANK YOU USONIAN
posted by mkb at 6:36 AM on December 8, 2011

Thanks for these links! The Getter Robo : Armageddon OVA had some C-R-A-Z-Y transformation sequences, where the Getter bots were transformed tiny-panel-by-tiny-panel. It is a hyperviolent, grotesque anime in some places, but the tech scenes were really slick.
posted by Slothrop at 7:10 AM on December 8, 2011

Okay, wait, did this come before Voltron, or is it somehow connected to it? Because that robot looks pretty dang Voltron-y, and I'm pretty sure it also had a "grab a pulley, go down a long tube, drop into a car that goes to lion/robot" bit in its sequence.

I first thought the same thing. Turns out, it is created by the same group that created what us Americans know as Voltron. And yes, it appears to have come first.
posted by mysterpigg at 7:23 AM on December 8, 2011

And now, the climactic moments of the transformation from my new Anime, Starfish: The Alien Robot Occupation:

"Dynamo ... what was it? Dino, something or . . . "

*SPLASH! Glub, glub, glub.*
posted by The Bellman at 7:42 AM on December 8, 2011

Thanks for the link! For years I vaguely remembered this cartoon and even had a small toy of the robot and couldn't remember what the hell this was called or anything.

And... I wish I could remember another anime I saw a few years back, originally from the 80's, with the classic combining robot scene, except the first time they're supposed to combine:
a) the scientists in charge don't tell them what it's doing
b) the enemies are shooting at them the whole time,
so they figure the whole process is going to get themselves killed and start ripping out the wires of the control panel until it cancels the transformation and they fly/drive/whatever away in retreat.
posted by yeloson at 7:52 AM on December 8, 2011

Getter Robo G is something that was buried in my memory that I could never find again. THANK YOU USONIAN

I love recovering half-forgotten memories like that - glad I could be the trigger for someone else! When I was a kid, pre-FOX channel 25 out of Boston showed it as part of Force Five on weekday afternoons. I never watched enough to follow any of the plot arcs coherently, but still... giant robots!
posted by usonian at 8:14 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Well that all seems pretty straightforward.
posted by rusty at 10:41 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Tuesday, Thursday and Friday were the best days to watch Force 5 - Danguard Ace was kind of lame, and the Spaceketeers didn't even have any giant robots in it.

Starvengers were cool, but man, Grandizer and Gai King were impossible to beat. The most menacing badguys, the sleekest mecha, the coolest characters...

None of it holds up well watching it as an adult.
posted by Slap*Happy at 11:20 AM on December 8, 2011

Did someone say Wave Motion Gun?
posted by owtytrof at 12:02 PM on December 8, 2011

How about a four-minute sequence of an entire grade-school classroom transforming into a three giant robots and a command center? Zettai Muteki Raijin-Oh!
posted by straight at 12:27 PM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Okay, wait, did this come before Voltron, or is it somehow connected to it? Because that robot looks pretty dang Voltron-y, and I'm pretty sure it also had a "grab a pulley, go down a long tube, drop into a car that goes to lion/robot" bit in its sequence.

Nonsense. Next you're gonna say the dude in the pilot chair with his white helmet looks just like Speed Racer. Or Ken (aka "Mark") from Gatchaman.
posted by straight at 12:39 PM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Seeing the Star Bird toy just activated a few thousand neurons that have been dormant for 30 years.

The Internet is awesome.
posted by swift at 12:41 PM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Danguard Ace was kind of lame, and the Spaceketeers didn't even have any giant robots in it.

Agreed. All I really remember about Danguard Ace was the hero being all mopey about his dad (who he didn't know was the enigmatic dude in the metal mask), and wasn't there some ongoing emo drama between one of the Spaceketeers and the Princess? Booooring!
posted by usonian at 1:14 PM on December 8, 2011

Seeing the Star Bird toy yt just activated a few thousand neurons that have been dormant for 30 years.

My twelfth birthday landed on Easter Sunday. After church and getting our baskets I was allowed to open presents. I got the Star Bird AND the Avenger that day. It was the perfect birthday, never to be topped.
posted by meinvt at 2:35 PM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

I've seen a toy for this, when I was little. It was absolutely the most incredible thing I had ever seen. Standing up, it came up to our waists, it felt so huge.
posted by porpoise at 3:07 PM on December 8, 2011

This is what all TV will be like if Newt Gingrich legalizes grade schoolers working as writers.

A vote for Newt is a vote for animated robots.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:47 PM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Also, since the robots in Evangelion are the kids' moms (oops spoiler alert), it's safe to say Eva is a derivative work of this masterpiece.*

*Very much aware it's actually a deconstruction.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:49 PM on December 8, 2011

Also, since the robots in Evangelion are the kids' moms (oops spoiler alert)

"Spoiler alert" doesn't even start to cover that. Not cool, man.
posted by spitefulcrow at 9:17 AM on December 10, 2011

A friend of my points out that live-action Power-Rangers type shows now feature even more insane vehicle --> robot transforming sequences. Here's one in which "live" (CGI) versions of actual toys assemble themselves into increasingly bigger and crazier giant robots.

I have to admire the way they've just said, "Screw it. We'll use actual toys instead of animated version of the toys." It's exactly like watching what a kid is imagining when he stages fights with his transformer toys.
posted by straight at 9:17 AM on December 15, 2011