Lawyer Wants Someone Who Will Go "Above And Beyond"
December 12, 2011 5:08 PM   Subscribe

Samir Zia Chowhan, sensing a prime opportunity in this down economy, set out to hire a secretary who could not only do the typing and filing, but could also engage in group sex with Chowhan and his law partner. The Illinois Supreme Court found that this is conduct unbecoming of an attorney and suspended Chowhan's law license.
posted by reenum (34 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Ulla go to work!
posted by Nomyte at 5:14 PM on December 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Well. Yeah.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:14 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I mean I'd expect this kind of thing from dentists, not lawyers.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:18 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


There's nothing crazier that bar discipline decisions.
posted by Ironmouth at 5:22 PM on December 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


I get the premise, but the approach was all wrong. I think it goes something like this:

"Are you pregnant?
Do you plan on getting pregnant?
Are you living in an apartment?
Alone?
Siblings?
Are you married?
Have you ever won an award?
Are those your scores?
Do you really want to be a secretary?
If you like "very dull work", typing and answering phones, please contact us at our Law Office."
posted by iamkimiam at 5:27 PM on December 12, 2011 [6 favorites]


Lastly, we've actually hired a couple of girls in the past for this position. But they have not been able to handle the sexual aspect of the job later. We have to be sure you're comfortable with that aspect, because I don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with. So since that time, we've decided that as part of the interview process you'll be required to perform for us sexually (i didn't do this before with the other girls i hired, now i think i have to because they couldn't handle it).

...

This is the point where you paste in the looping gif of someone's look of consternation and WTF.
posted by yeloson at 5:28 PM on December 12, 2011


Hey baby, mind if I enter your docket?

You think my brief is thick, wait until you open my briefs.

You've got a beautiful prima facie.

Want to help me discharge my onus?

Come and feel my power of attorney.

I'm into usus and abusus.

I'll bet you're a ferae naturae in the sack.
posted by Dasein at 5:30 PM on December 12, 2011 [5 favorites]


conduct unbecoming of an attorney

Accurate, in that he won't be coming
posted by naju at 5:30 PM on December 12, 2011 [5 favorites]


I'm a little disappointed that there's not a photograph of this tool.
posted by jquinby at 5:32 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


This story makes me grateful for the good experience I had working for a boutique immigration firm! On the other hand, I didn't apply based on the Adult Gigs section of Craigslist, either.

Also, dude was a just plain bad lawyer if the allegations in the other two counts in the first link are true. Wtf, if you're an immigration lawyer, you don't just not file petitions and applications on behalf of your clients.
posted by immlass at 5:32 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Must have a bit of a backlog there in Illinois. It took 2 years to process this.
posted by unliteral at 5:37 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm a little disappointed that there's not a photograph of this tool.

Craigslist doesn't allow dick pics, right?
posted by me & my monkey at 5:40 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


I get so much pleasure in flagging the shit out of these type of ads on Craigslist. "I'll pay you $50 a day to feed my cat. P.S. You have to dress like slave Leia while doing so."
posted by book 'em dano at 5:44 PM on December 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


Maybe he thought someone like Lee Holloway would apply.
posted by unliteral at 5:47 PM on December 12, 2011


Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
posted by planet at 5:49 PM on December 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


The job was posted in the adult gigs section. Pay looks good, includes healthcare, 401(k), dental plan, life insurance. The poster is quite up front about what he is expecting.

This is probably more legit than 90% of the non-illegal help wanted ads out there actually.
posted by Winnemac at 5:54 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Lawyers. Always looking to screw someone.

*runs away*
posted by Ron Thanagar at 5:54 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


As valkyrn put it, "Filming sex with a client's wife as payment for legal services? That's a suspension." I'm thinking that a bar discipline blogfeed would be highly entertaining.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 5:58 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Considering how inflated job requirements are these days, I'm amazed the ad asked simply to be able to do the required tasks. Lately all the job ads I've seen are so hyperbolic this ad would currently require nine years of experience as a sex worker and paralegal at a white-shoe law firm with signed affidavits of enjoyment from Larry Flynt, Arnold and that creepy guy who runs American Apparel.
posted by winna at 5:58 PM on December 12, 2011 [9 favorites]


This ad is pretty gross for many reasons, and several people have pointed those out. But the grossest bits of it, to me, are the references to past applicants: “Lastly, we've actually hired a couple of girls in the past for this position. But they have not been able to handle the sexual aspect of the job later.” Ugh. At least people who responded to the ads this time had a heads-up – but those poor women had to deal with bosses who, in some way or fashion, introduced to them the idea that part of their job would be to service them sexually, and after they'd been hired. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

I guess that, being lawyers, they figured out a way to bring that up to their employees in a way that wasn't harassment, but it's hard for me to imagine how.
posted by koeselitz at 6:11 PM on December 12, 2011 [3 favorites]


(Ah – apparently he was not actually practicing, and that was just bunkum. Well, good. Still: ugh.)
posted by koeselitz at 6:14 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Someone saw The Secretary and thought it was the basis for some solid lifestyle choices.
posted by doctor_negative at 6:58 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh, I just love lawyers behaving badly. They are so creative in what they cook up. This is one of my current favs.
posted by Leezie at 7:05 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Apparently, Samir is still on the market, for those of you who are Muslim and would like to nab a famous lawyer.

Only disbarred in one state!
posted by markkraft at 7:43 PM on December 12, 2011


I think I saw this on Arrested Development...
posted by sbutler at 8:38 PM on December 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Imagine having to seriously consider going to this interview.

If you can imagine, then you will have a glimpse of the poverty now being forced on so many.
posted by CautionToTheWind at 2:29 AM on December 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


Give the poor guy a break - this just more class warfare against the Job Creators.
posted by klarck at 4:33 AM on December 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


Please drop off your application in person at Dewey, Screwem & Howe.
posted by resurrexit at 7:20 AM on December 13, 2011


At least people who responded to the ads this time had a heads-up – but those poor women had to deal with bosses who, in some way or fashion, introduced to them the idea that part of their job would be to service them sexually, and after they'd been hired.

I don't see how you drew that conclusion. The way I read it, they did the same hiring process except with this latest ad they are also auditioning the sex part during the interview.
posted by DU at 8:23 AM on December 13, 2011


Found the timeline interesting; wasn't immediately obvious, but seems like the advert/ complaint went ahead in June 2009, ruled upon in July 2011, and just been upheld by the Illinois Supreme Court. Is that the chain?

Then there's this curious nugget:
In a 2009 interview with Ashby Jones, Chowhan admitted to the racy ad and follow-up email.

“I did do that,” he said. Chowhan said that he was winding up his immigration practice, and “curiosity” got the better of him. “I wasn’t intending to hire anyone,” he added. “I was just screwing around, just curious to know if anyone would respond. Unfortunately, someone did.”
Given that two years have passed between the original complaint and now, someone with more google-fu than me could easily check if he has been indeed practising for the last two years. Also, if the guy welcomed the suspension as the WSJ blog puts it, who or why has this been referred to the Illinois Supreme Court?
posted by the cydonian at 12:29 PM on December 13, 2011


I was depressed to learn he was Indian. I'm going to go check SepiaMutiny now.
posted by anniecat at 2:22 PM on December 13, 2011


I mean, I could tell from the name. But when I saw the original post on Above the Law, I was depressed then.
posted by anniecat at 2:23 PM on December 13, 2011


From what I found, he may have been practicing in Indiana while the Illinois complaint was being decided.
posted by reenum at 3:26 PM on December 13, 2011


I mean, I could tell from the name. But when I saw the original post on Above the Law, I was depressed then.

I'm sure he's American. :) (Even at that, he could be of Bangladeshi or Pakistani extraction, not necessarily Indian)
posted by the cydonian at 3:35 PM on December 13, 2011


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