What Women Want: Porn and the Frontier of Female Sexuality

December 14, 2011 11:29 PM

What Women Want: Porn and the Frontier of Female Sexuality [NSFW] James Deen is a young, handsome porn star who is becoming famous for actually appealing to women. Due to his boyish, slightly skate-punk aesthetic, naturally toned body, and ability to connect emotionally (or at least appear to) with his female co-stars, Deen has garnered a following of devoted young women in an industry that in most cases ignores them entirely. via
posted by mlis (70 comments total)

This (from the second link):

But the real obstacle to the proliferation of female-friendly male porn stars is, oddly, a rather nasty and subtle strain of homophobia, revealed in the following double-bind:

The straight male performer must be attractive enough to serve as a prop, but not so attractive that he becomes the object of desire.

Hess is spot on. Men need to see a penis in straight porn (presumably to stand in for their own), but not one that is attached to a guy who might be threateningly attractive, not to mention plausibly appealing to the woman involved. Maybe this insistence on a male blank slate (a kind of reverse objectification, when you think about it) makes it easier to project oneself onto the disembodied penis, but it also protects men from the potentially scary experience of being turned on by both partners of a heterosexual encounter—which, yes, does involve another dude.

Funnily enough, most my female friends who use porn have been saying this to me forever, as if it was totally self-evident. Strange to see it depicted as news.
posted by knz at 12:00 AM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

Ah, this guy.

About 3/4ths of the way through the article and here's the pullquote for me:

“It’s hard to try to watch porn with this guy in it when 10 minutes earlier he was Gchatting me about The Simpsons. The fourth wall has disappeared.”

Exactly. I'm just going to back out of this article and pretend like I never read it and go back to occasionally coming across him on tumblr, now...
posted by Mizu at 12:01 AM on December 15, 2011

I don't get it. I saw a video where he was basically choking a gal while he pounded her.

Pretty much the opposite of my (admittedly male) idea of what women want in their pr0n.
posted by bardic at 12:06 AM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

I had no idea he had such a following with younger girls, but as someone that's been a fan for years, I definitely get it. He does a really wide range of scenes, from rough to gentle, but he is so much more REAL than any other male porn star out there. His facial expressions and his conversations with the girls actually seem like real sex most of the time and that's kind of unheard of in mainstream porn. He comes across as a cute guy with a big dick who values the girl he's fucking in any given situation. And that's awesome. Why wouldn't girls seek out his porn when he's a living, breathing fantasy man for the 20-something and younger generation?
posted by evilbeck at 12:15 AM on December 15, 2011 [7 favorites]

Kudos to the OP, but, meh, perusing through his stuff, it's the same boring kinds of scenarios for the most part (although I imagine his stuff on Kink.com is a little more creative - I didn't check that out) with the same generic girls with generic boob jobs. Maybe that's harsh, but there you go.

I think there is a world of sex-positive porn out there, notably Nica Noelle's Sweet Sinner imprint, which features male and female performers in somewhat sexy sex scenes.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:17 AM on December 15, 2011

For me he's very hit or miss but when he's hit it's like a bullseye, to extend the metaphor to weird levels. Primarily he reminds me of the kid I had a huge crush on in Hebrew school (ah, 13, that year when you don't realize everyone is as horny as you are...) and secondarily he's really good at developing the sort of vague persona people can generate a lot of personal detail about (none of which has much basis in fact, but is much more enjoyable to muse upon than what you could come up with for most het male porn stars.)

There's a certain vanguard of scarily-obsessed 17 year old girls who are into him, and as such in my adventures in fandom I ran into animated gifs and clips and suchlike until I just went "who the hell is this guy?" and investigated. I admit that they're on to something, although I'm not sure if it's the same as the point that article was trying to make.

The idea that "women" all want one thing in their porn is what really seems to trip the creators of it up. Maybe there used to be only a few "types" of women who watched porn, but that's no longer remotely true. James Deen is good at a few little things that don't often happen in professionally produced porn; namely, small gestures of affection mid-coitus and an ability to seem genuine when he talks, regardless of the other kinds of sexual activities he gets up to. That works for a lot of people but if they really want to grab the female market there's a lot of catching up left to do.
posted by Mizu at 12:20 AM on December 15, 2011 [4 favorites]

Whole lot of mentions of teenage girls in that article. Kind of weird. It's no secret that teenage boys might be interested in porn, but I've never read an article on a female performer that mentioned them whatsoever, let alone over and over and over again.
posted by stinkycheese at 12:21 AM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

He leads me past an enormous telescope, two beanbag chairs...

I see what was done there.
posted by chavenet at 12:31 AM on December 15, 2011 [43 favorites]

This reminds me of the commercials I did where I played the role of Jimmy Deen for a prominent sausage company.

Women couldn't keep their hands off my sausage. They loved how convenient it was, how spicy it was, and most of all, how long my sausage was. My sausage was a good value for its time.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:39 AM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

Also, the Golden Age of Porn had many handsome, funny, accommodating male porn actors. At some point in the 80s, the default seemed to become shlubby with a gross moustache. Then, in the 90s and 00s, as the article states, tattoos and beeeg muscles became the trend. Even then, you had Rocco - who an awful lt of full-grown women considered super hot (and he was a lot rougher at times than this Deen guy sounds).

As to what hetero men want to see in porn, I think this article is pretty far off. Sure, a few guys write hate mail to Deen because they're jealous or whathaveyou - most guys, in my experience reading and taking about the subject, focus on the woman and try to tune the guy out as much as possible (especially if he is talking or making noises). Guys complain when there is too much footage of the man during a scene because they don't want to be jerking it to some other guy's facial contortions (or, perish the thought, actually orgasm at the same time the man's face is onscreen); I've even seen some guys take the extreme position that, unless you're watching solo female or lesbian scenes, you're gay.

The article starts out suggesting Deen is some kind of game-changer, but then goes on to admit that, as far as the industry is concerned, an erection is an erection (aside: this kid is in his twenties and admits using drugs onset to stay hard? There's a significant change from the Old Masters for you), including Deen's, and that he can't even be the feature on a box cover because men and women will both think it's a gay flick. So, hmm.
posted by stinkycheese at 12:40 AM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

I don't get it. I saw a video where he was basically choking a gal while he pounded her.

Pretty much the opposite of my (admittedly male) idea of what women want in their pr0n.

You may want to browse Fetlife a little. Women want all sorts of things in their pr0n. They're kind of like men that way. Only, you know. Hotter.
posted by showmethecalvino at 12:44 AM on December 15, 2011 [8 favorites]

Just saying that in what I've seen his stuff is no different from the usual. It's kind of worse, actually re: treating women like shit.
posted by bardic at 12:55 AM on December 15, 2011

Man, the photos with that article are terrible. An interview needs a portrait, not some snaps taken from miles away. I looked up his wikipedia page just to get an idea what he looks like.
posted by w0mbat at 1:23 AM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hey, baby, I'm a cute guy with a big dick and I value the girl I'm fucking in any given situation.

Definitely going to try that one out.
posted by Segundus at 1:33 AM on December 15, 2011 [7 favorites]

@bardic:

Watch all the stuff he does with his hands and fingers. When he moves a woman around there are little caresses. He'll hold a woman by the neck, seemingly roughly, but his thumbs tucked up gently under her earlobes. When he takes a woman by the hair, the moment when his hand contacts her scalp is a caress, before it becomes a hair pull.

All that stuff is gold in bed.
posted by lastobelus at 1:39 AM on December 15, 2011 [21 favorites]

The demographics here are tricky. The porn I want to watch is one thing. The porn I would watch if a girlfriend wanted to, well, I'm a fan of cinema and love new things. Kurosawa, R. Jeremey, Debbie...it really doesn't matter.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 2:30 AM on December 15, 2011

Eh. I appreciate the fact that he's more "real" looking but he's not that cute and he also comes off as a sleazeball, at least in the interview I saw. I'm sure he's less sleazy than average as porn stars go, but he's still oozes too much sleaze for his boy next door image to work.
posted by timsneezed at 3:04 AM on December 15, 2011

Watch all the stuff he does with his hands and fingers. When he moves a woman around there are little caresses.

I think that's the key to being a Great Lover. So much of the focus is on the penetration that we forget the soft before-play. I like to light candles, put on warm music, eat a peach, burn some incense, get out the massage oil, whisper in her ear, hold her close, my body gently pressing against hers.

Then I usually fall asleep. It's a bit awkward that the things that turn her on are exactly the things that put me to sleep, but I mean well.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:09 AM on December 15, 2011 [28 favorites]

I disagree with the idea that the male performer can't be attractive. That's much better than someone with a huge pot-belly, scabs on his knees or overly hairy. To be honest, I just prefer the the males in porn to be as anonymous-looking as possible.

As far as this guys goes, I had been reading about this rising trend (heyoooo!) of fandom so thought my girl might like to watch him. The choking and stuff wouldn't appeal to her though, so I passed on showing it to her.
posted by melt away at 3:15 AM on December 15, 2011

There are more kinks in porn, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your pornography. - ShakesHisSpear
posted by srboisvert at 3:36 AM on December 15, 2011 [12 favorites]

Proud of the boy, he was my star pupil.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:24 AM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I've never really seen any professionally produced porn where the actors don't look like they are acting. That's the problem for me. I'd rather watch ugly amateurs having a genuinely good time.
posted by orme at 4:33 AM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

(a kind of reverse objectification, when you think about it)

"Reverse objectification" sounds suspiciously similar to "reverse racism".
posted by LogicalDash at 4:52 AM on December 15, 2011

I don't think it's gamechanging. He seems like an exceptionally good performer who has met with encouragement from directors, but this is not revolutionizing porn. And while the teenage fan club is having fun,all of "female sexuality," broadly written, is not contained in this narrow example.
posted by Miko at 5:27 AM on December 15, 2011

“We’re often targeting couples,” says Jacky St. James, publicist and writer for New Sensations. According to the website, titles in the series are “written by a woman and directed by a man,” and have features to appeal to both. For her: “passionate, connected, and intimate sex.” For him: a money shot. However, there are absolutely “no pop shots above the neck.” The company’s research has shown the stomach to be the most respectful part of a woman’s body on which a man can deposit his sperm.

LOL. I would absolutely love to hear more about this company's research.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 5:35 AM on December 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

The company’s research has shown the stomach to be the most respectful part of a woman’s body on which a man can deposit his sperm.

It's sexy because it's a rational deposit.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:58 AM on December 15, 2011

See, none of this addresses my biggest concern about porn:

How is the writing?


(You all think I'm kidding. But if a plot's too stupid I get way too distracted to pay attention to how things look. It's kind of a curse.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:59 AM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

I totally get his appeal, at least as far as you can tell from the two clips I have seen -- he appears to have a brain, and to actually care a certain amount for, or to connect somewhat with, the woman he's in the scene with. The comment above about his hands nails it, I think; a lot of male performers seem to just be ambulatory penises, whereas he brings his whole body.
posted by Forktine at 6:24 AM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

there are plots in porn?
posted by I am the Walrus at 6:29 AM on December 15, 2011

there are plots in porn?

Warning: you've triggered some interesting thoughts.

...Yeah. Even at a very, very basic level, yes, there are. Even in the most absolute basic level -- two people are just having sex and that's all that happens -- there's still a goal, an end point, in mind; how exciting would a porn be if no one came? So even in the most pointless porn ever, you still want to see at least one person come. That's an action people are working towards. So -- yeah, that's a plot.

In fact, it's only when porn films are stupid about coming up with the "excuse" for the people to be having sex that things get ridiculous -- the corny "I've just come to deliver pizza oh my it's very warm let me take off my shirt while you're getting my money" kind of stuff. There are clever scenarios, and those can be fun (I was amused by something some college friends showed me once that was an interesting riff on Road Warrior), but if all you can come up with is the "I'm delivering pizza" kind of thing, just forget it and go straight to the sex, is my opinion.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:38 AM on December 15, 2011

It's all about what you like, right? One of the hottest scenes I've seen lately had a flashback wherein a mother seduces her neighbours' son by ripping his pants, sitting at a sewing machine to mend them, and then becoming so arroused by the sight of his bulging undies, she just has to...

And yes, this is a fairly implausible sequence of events, but in this case, it was all about the woman being turned on. So turned on, she had to act (against social propriety). It sounds simple and elementary enough, but raw, overpowering female lust can be a rare find in porn, at least believable lust. I'll take that even if it comes with a overheated pizza boy.
posted by stinkycheese at 6:47 AM on December 15, 2011

Watch all the stuff he does with his hands and fingers. When he moves a woman around there are little caresses. He'll hold a woman by the neck, seemingly roughly, but his thumbs tucked up gently under her earlobes. When he takes a woman by the hair, the moment when his hand contacts her scalp is a caress, before it becomes a hair pull.

No, don't. It's a bad idea to use porn as sex education.
posted by L.P. Hatecraft at 6:52 AM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

100 Interviews featured James Deen for their Porn Star interview. The interviewer, Gaby Dunn, focuses a lot on her attraction to Deen.
posted by mokin at 6:55 AM on December 15, 2011

I looked up his wikipedia page just to get an idea what he looks like.

Eeeeeuw. Well at least he is no Ron Jeremy, who was the King of Porn when I first started watching.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:59 AM on December 15, 2011

Actually, as a straight porn-watching guy, this guy sounds like just what I've been looking for. Unfortunately, I can't really click any of the links here at work, so I can only go from the comments here. But one of the things I've bemoaned in porn is the lack of connection between the performers in the vast majority of scenes. There's a reason that amateur porn is such a popular genre. I'm more interested in watching an attractive couple do their thing than just watch an attractive woman get it, which is really what most scenes offer.
posted by Edgewise at 7:12 AM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hey now. Ron used to be hunky (NSFW).
posted by stinkycheese at 7:13 AM on December 15, 2011

This seems as good and relatively anonymous a place as any to spew forth an embarrassing confession: I cried at a James Deen porn once. It was (unsurprisingly) a Kink.com Sex & Submission shoot, with him, Isis Love, and Tara Lynn Foxx (and it is excellent if you're into that.) One of the scenes towards the end, however, is what earned Deen a hell of a lot of respect for me-- he's touching a small electrical device to Foxx at various points and you can tell she really, really does not like it very much but is willing to do it, and Deen somehow knows exactly how far to push it. He tells her, "Five more! You can do this!", and she counts for him. The last one is on her tongue, but she does it, and you can sort of tell if you're experienced with this sort of thing that she's not doing it for the sake of the shoot, she's doing it specifically because he asked her to. The look on Foxx's face when Deen puts the zapper down and holds her head and tells her what an amazing, strong, sexy woman she is, totally made me burst into tears. I read in an interview somewhere afterwards that said that whole part was shot in one take because everyone was afraid to stop them. and kill the magic.

That being said, I find non-kinky porn with Deen in it only a bit better than normal porn, and that mostly due to his looks (count me in the camp that finds him gorgeous.) I feel like he really shines in kink, though, mostly due to the little gestures lastobelus points out, and because he knows how to reward as well as how to ask, so that his subs seem much more willing than some of the other men, who use a bit too much brute force instead of persusasion for my tastes. He gets a lot of respect from me for that.
posted by WidgetAlley at 7:20 AM on December 15, 2011 [9 favorites]

I'm in agreement with stinkycheese - what guys generally want is a guy who is not too intrusive into the scene. I could care less what the dude looks like, on some level I'm mentally replacing him with me anyways, so if his looks appeal to the ladies so much the better. I have a much harder time replacing [porn guy] with me if he's doing something I wouldn't be doing, like being totally degrading to the woman - a couple totally uncalled-for insults will totally bring me out of a scene way far more than having a guy who looks like Ron Jeremy.

But basically the premise about "guys in porn" - These guys all have a familiar look—neck chains, frosted tips, unreasonable biceps, tribal tattoos. - just strikes me as the male equivalent of the "stereotypical female porn star" - you know the one: fake tits, fake nails, fake tan, fake smile, dead eyes - and lots of us guys aren't crazy about that, either. It's really not at all surprising to me that what the porn industry views as the "ideal male for porn" is just as completely wrong-headed (or at least extremely specific) as their view of the "ideal female for porn".

Re: Evan Stone: Male fans will approach him and tell him, “I’m not gay or anything, but I love that you have a sense of humor.” I would totally be one of those guys. He's no Nathan Fillion or anything, but watching him shamelessly ham it up for an unrepentantly cheesy, tongue-in-cheek porn script can definitely get some good laughs.
posted by mstokes650 at 7:41 AM on December 15, 2011 [4 favorites]

I think it's great that women are getting into porn, but I think the whole "women love him, men hate him because they're jealous" analysis is contradictory and overthinky. Either we ignore him because nobody pays attention to the dudes in porn, or we hate him because girls like him too much. Both of these things cannot be true.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:08 AM on December 15, 2011

What strikes me about the Google Image search collage (NSFW) is that he's always smiling. He looks like a happy, slightly goofy guy. So many porn people look so grim all the time.

He's got a blog that's mostly shilling for movies and a Twitter account that immediately ruined the idea that he might be some smart, self-aware porn puppy. "Vegas!!!!! I have arrived!!!! Give me your money and alcohol now!!!!!" Ah well.
posted by Nelson at 8:12 AM on December 15, 2011

twoleftfeet: "This reminds me of the commercials I did where I played the role of Jimmy Deen for a prominent sausage company.

Women couldn't keep their hands off my sausage. They loved how convenient it was, how spicy it was, and most of all, how long my sausage was. My sausage was a good value for its time."

Yeah, for it's time, but now...
posted by symbioid at 8:23 AM on December 15, 2011

Sorry, but this article and the conversations about it seem like some sort of silly parody.

Dave: Yeah, don't worry about it guys. I just think it's really cool that you love each other, even though you're from Austria and you're from some place no one's even fucking heard of.

Keitha: Australia.

Jemaine: New Zealand.

Dave: Exactly. Because it shouldn't matter where you're from when love's involved. It's like that movie - "Interracial Hole Stretchers 2" - she was white; they were black. But it didn't matter in the end, did it? Because they were in love.

Jemaine: I haven't...I haven't seen that one.

Dave: Well, it really affected me.
posted by dgaicun at 8:51 AM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

This guy does nothing for me. None of the boy-next-door types really pop my corn, porn-wise. Perhaps it's simply personal preference, but he's too close to looking like someone I'd actually get to have sex with and that detracts from the fantasy somehow. See "Reverse objectification" and all that. That or there's been so few "good looking" men in porn that some conditioning has occurred where I'm only attracted to the typical pornily busted guys.
posted by Katine at 9:25 AM on December 15, 2011

I don't know if the trend in porn to have super-muscular Jersey Shore types is because that's what men think men should look like or not, but I can offer the data point that in Second Life, where your avatar can look like any bloody thing you want, a *ridiculous* amount of men choose to look like that. (Even to the point of looking deformed.) I figure that this is just the same kind of body dysmorphia that makes the women players choose to look like ridiculously skinny big-titted porn stars.

As someone who spent a good portion of the 90s selling porn movies off the shelf, I really always felt like the porn star look was determined by greasy guys from Long Island.

And yes, James Deen is hot. I've seen a good bit of porn, and he's the only guy I have ever even noticed or wanted to watch again.
posted by RedEmma at 10:01 AM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Whole lot of mentions of teenage girls in that article. Kind of weird. It's no secret that teenage boys might be interested in porn, but I've never read an article on a female performer that mentioned them whatsoever, let alone over and over and over again.

Probably because unless you read an awful lot of fanfiction, it is a secret that teenage girls are interested in porn.
posted by sawdustbear at 10:27 AM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Both of these things cannot be true.

they can indeed both be true, just not for the same individual at the same time. But the two can both be real and can overlap in the audience a way which combines to mean that the most dull and dim possible men get cast in these films because you stand to please more of the whole audience, including the jealous, the fearful, and the repressed.
posted by Miko at 10:34 AM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Probably because unless you read an awful lot of fanfiction, it is a secret that teenage girls are interested in porn.

Seriously? That's what you take away from this?

From his Wikpedia entry: Deen has a devoted fan-following among teenage girls, a demographic which in not typically associated with the pornography industry. He attempts to cultivate his fan base through frequent blogging and activity on twitter

So he would appear to be, uh, cultivating a fan base of teenage girls. The article also mentions how teen girls speak with Deen one-on-one via twitter. Which would probably peak my interest if I were a teenage girl that liked him, hmmm?
posted by stinkycheese at 10:51 AM on December 15, 2011

There's at least one thing this dude is wrong about: he says something like "Every guy wants to be a porn star". No fucking way! That actually sounds like a terrible job to me.
posted by Liquidwolf at 1:03 PM on December 15, 2011

Thank god every guy is not a porn star because that would really be one miserable sad world. Thank god every guy does not even want to be a porn star.
posted by Miko at 1:16 PM on December 15, 2011

... including the jealous, the fearful, and the repressed.

Yeah, and I'm just not buying it. I think the average guy spends about 0 minutes thinking about male porn stars. Are there guys who hate Deen? I'm sure there are. But it's probably just the standard backlash guys have to any teen heartthrob, e.g. Justin Bieber, the Beatles, etc. I know some people wanna see gender norm drama in everything, but in this case I'm just not buying it.
posted by Afroblanco at 1:29 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Are there guys who hate Deen? I'm sure there are. But it's probably just the standard backlash guys have to any teen heartthrob, e.g. Justin Bieber, the Beatles, etc.

Is anybody suggesting otherwise here? I sure wasn't trying to.
posted by stinkycheese at 1:41 PM on December 15, 2011

Oh, I see - Miko's comment.

the most dull and dim possible men get cast in these films because you stand to please more of the whole audience, including the jealous, the fearful, and the repressed.

I think it's really far simpler than that, or at least was before Viagra. As long as you weren't painfully ugly and could stay hard in front of a bored crew under hot lights - and cum on command - you were a male porn star. You didn't even have to be attracted to women.
posted by stinkycheese at 1:46 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Well, people are saying all kinds of things about dudes feeling intimidated by "a different kind of porn star", and all this stuff about repressed homosexuality, and I'm all like WTF? It's just not that deep. I think men always hate the new teen idol. Also, there's probably some amount of cultural saturation in there, which generally annoys everybody.

It's actually not all that different from the backlash against any "cute" thing that's meant for kids and then reaches cultural saturation. You remember alt.barney.die.die.die? I came around just in time for that one, but I was assured that people had the same reaction to the Smurfs when they first came out.
posted by Afroblanco at 1:47 PM on December 15, 2011

Really, the only thing that's new here is the fact that a porn star has become a teen heartthrob. And, man, that's got to be creepy as fuck being James Deen. I mean, if I found out that underage teens had seen my dick, I'd be FUCKING TRAUMATIZED. As in, like, move-to-a-remote-mountaintop-where-I-had-no-contact-with-humanity traumatized.

Yuck.
posted by Afroblanco at 2:10 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

If it grossed him out, he presumably wouldn't keep twittering with teen girls and acknowledging that they make up a significant portion of his fan base.
posted by stinkycheese at 2:15 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I guess that's yet another reason I'll never be a porn star. Heh.
posted by Afroblanco at 2:16 PM on December 15, 2011

Really, the only thing that's new here is the fact that a porn star has become a teen heartthrob.

I think something other than the heart is throbbing.
posted by kgasmart at 2:30 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

"Man, the photos with that article are terrible. An interview needs a portrait, not some snaps taken from miles away."

Just so ya know, the photographer was almost certainly doing that intentionally to capture the "background" nature of the male porn star, how their role is pretty equivalent with the scenery or the props. That the industry is actively repulsed or scared or putting them in the foreground lest they be considered gay porn.

Anyways, I never knew his stage name but I knew who this article was talking about before I saw the pictures. James Deen absolutely stands out in porn, he looks at women in the eye, he's skinny like me, he's pale like me, he's actually my same age give or take a year. I'm all about it. I would probably never watch a movie based on who the male star is but so many of the creepy and obvious stereotypical male porn star just absolutely turn me off (both their appearance and their attitudes) that I have certainly avoided movies with them in it. Usually I'm a fan of x-art or Abby Winters, but in main stream porn his presence is usually a good sign that the scene isn't going to make me feel gross before it's over. I know I'm probably in the minority of porn watching men, but it's something.
posted by sharkbot1957 at 4:12 PM on December 15, 2011

Thank god every guy is not a porn star because that would really be one miserable sad world.

No way! You'd have 24/7 pizza delivery and pool service, plus "firemen" ready with their "hoses" every time you get hot. What's not to love?
posted by Forktine at 4:26 PM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

But Forktine....the interior decor....*shudder*
posted by Miko at 7:51 PM on December 15, 2011

But Forktine....the interior decor....*shudder*

Shudder? When you have interiors like this? Shagadelic, baby! (SFW, I think)

(And there was a website of photos of porn with the people removed making the rounds a while back; I think it was even made into an FPP, but this is the closest I can find. SFW, especially for those of us who find the interiors the most exciting part of porn.)
posted by Forktine at 10:04 PM on December 15, 2011

The whole "porn-star" concept confuses me. I almost never come across porn that has a guy or a girl I've seen before.

... granted I only masturbate to black market South American snuff tapes.
posted by dgaicun at 4:47 AM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I've always found it funny that in porn, "actor" and "star" are synonymous.
posted by Miko at 5:40 AM on December 16, 2011

At least the Smurfs had Gargamel and Azrael.
posted by symbioid at 9:11 AM on December 16, 2011

At least the Smurfs had Gargamel and Azrael.

That's true. There is a noted lack of antagonists in porn.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:47 AM on December 16, 2011

I watched some of his videos and got really bummed out. He does a lot of things I would like in bed and no guy I've ever slept with has done them. I can't remember the last time I had sex I enjoyed. All I see when I look at men now is "bad in bed... bad in bed... bad in bed..." If anything, I think it's good that young women are watching this. When I was younger, I certainly couldn't articulate what it is I wanted men to do differently. I just knew there was something missing. Though at least no man in my real life has ever done some of the insane shit I see all the time in mainstream porn, like SLAPPING THE VULVA. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy???????????????????????????????????????????????????
posted by prefpara at 6:41 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]

That vulva was out of line, maaan.

But seriously, blood circulation? That would be my guess.
posted by stinkycheese at 6:50 PM on December 16, 2011

This guy does nothing for me. None of the boy-next-door types really pop my corn, porn-wise. Perhaps it's simply personal preference, but he's too close to looking like someone I'd actually get to have sex with and that detracts from the fantasy somehow. See "Reverse objectification" and all that. That or there's been so few "good looking" men in porn that some conditioning has occurred where I'm only attracted to the typical pornily busted guys.

Strange, I feel the opposite about women in porn. If it's not someone I could actually see myself realistically having sex with, I'm not interested.
posted by gregoryg at 7:09 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]

I can't remember the last time I had sex I enjoyed. All I see when I look at men now is "bad in bed... bad in bed... bad in bed..."

Damn, that sucks. The more I talk to women out there about this stuff, the more I realize how many dudes out there aren't even trying.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:25 PM on December 16, 2011

I realize how many dudes out there aren't even trying.

That also links to why most men in porn are so dull and why a lot of porn leaves a lot of women cold. It's all the same set of problems - not enough thought about what the women in the scenario - viewer, participant, performer, whatever - are experiencing.
posted by Miko at 5:18 AM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]