A moment on the lips...a lifetime on the therapist.

December 15, 2011 3:00 PM

Rosemount High School athletes were recently tricked into making out with their own parents in front of a crowd. The principal of the school has offered an "apology".
posted by gman (207 comments total)

I am so uncomfortable right now
posted by Think_Long at 3:02 PM on December 15, 2011 [9 favorites]

Would someone please prosecute the principal for filming child pornography and the parents for molesting their children. Kthxbai.
posted by Sticherbeast at 3:02 PM on December 15, 2011 [8 favorites]

I can't look. I just can't. Please tell me the parents were tricked, too, and did not participate willingly in this.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:03 PM on December 15, 2011 [4 favorites]

Ok, even if the principal was stupid enough to do this, what's up w/ the parents who were creepily into it...putting your son's hand on your ass? Really? GAAAHHH.
posted by emjaybee at 3:03 PM on December 15, 2011 [14 favorites]

"One mother moved her son's hand down to her behind during the encounter." -- WTF?
posted by ericb at 3:04 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

BRAIN SHUTTING DOWN
posted by naju at 3:04 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Couldn't watch more than 2 seconds of this. Nope, no, nein, na, nej.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:04 PM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

The parents were in on it.
posted by Sticherbeast at 3:04 PM on December 15, 2011

It burns us. We do not like.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 3:05 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

putting your son's hand on your ass? Really? GAAAHHH.

so that's how it is in THEIR family.
posted by nomisxid at 3:05 PM on December 15, 2011 [21 favorites]

What.
posted by Yowser at 3:05 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

The Aristocrats!
posted by mr_roboto at 3:05 PM on December 15, 2011 [164 favorites]

tricked into making out with their own parents in front of a crowd.

Ugh. Nightmare fuel.
posted by stinkycheese at 3:06 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Haha, I just saw the title. A++ but I wish I could unlearn what I have learned.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 3:06 PM on December 15, 2011

This does make me kind of shudder involuntarily and have some kind of a mini-stroke.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:06 PM on December 15, 2011

I'm imagining a lot of really, really uncomfortable family dinners that night.
posted by gurple at 3:06 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

What. The. Fuck.

How could this have ever possibly sounded like a good idea?
posted by Mister Fabulous at 3:06 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

Editorial: RHS pep fest prank nothing to apologize for.
posted by ericb at 3:06 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Watching this doesn't mean much to me, but if I was in that situation I would probably vomit all over the basketball court, and everyone around me. That is utterly disgusting.

Unless they're of age and into it. Then I don't really care. But they apparently are not one or the other.
posted by Malice at 3:07 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

disgusting
posted by mumimor at 3:08 PM on December 15, 2011

Is incest wrong?
posted by Saddo at 3:08 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

You want to kiss someone while blindfolded, you take your chances.
posted by stifford at 3:09 PM on December 15, 2011 [4 favorites]

The thing that makes this weird and uncomfortable for me isn't that this was a school event, but that the parents appear to be willing participants.
posted by asnider at 3:09 PM on December 15, 2011 [14 favorites]

> Is incest wrong?

To be clear, this wasn't incest. It was pretty goddamned foul, but hopefully didn't lead to intercourse.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:09 PM on December 15, 2011

"One YouTube commenter who claims to be a student at Rosemount says that it's a "tradition that only happens every six years or something," which makes it sound like an ancient pagan Norse ritual brought to America by sick incestuous vikings. Like hotdish, or passive-aggressiveness."*

posted by ericb at 3:10 PM on December 15, 2011 [24 favorites]

Outrage/Uncomfortable-filter?
posted by melissam at 3:10 PM on December 15, 2011

Wait what? Why would the parents agree. Was that mom putting her sons hand on her ass or taking it off? Those dudes were beat red during the post kiss interviews before the kisser was revealed, the hormones were aflowin there.
posted by Ad hominem at 3:10 PM on December 15, 2011

And yes, incest is wrong. Easy
posted by mumimor at 3:10 PM on December 15, 2011

What? No, no, no, no no no
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:10 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh holy crap. I clicked on that thinking "oh come on, what's the fuss about" but that is just not O.K. Yeesh.
posted by yoink at 3:11 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

This event sponsored by HBO's Boardwalk Empire
posted by stifford at 3:12 PM on December 15, 2011 [15 favorites]

The fuck.
posted by tumid dahlia at 3:12 PM on December 15, 2011

It might be I never really liked the jocks all that much in highschool, but I thought this was pretty funny. They'll get over it.
posted by floam at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

NONONONO
posted by naju at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2011 [7 favorites]

Beat to the Boardwalk Empire gag by ten seconds...l
posted by Keith Talent at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

If any of you feel shameful or uncomfortable, please come over here and sit on Daddy's lap.
posted by KokuRyu at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

melissam: Outrage/Uncomfortable-filter?

It's called the December Post Contest, actually.
posted by gman at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

Why do people do mean pranks that will embarrass someone for years? It's not funny; it's unkind. Parents in on it? jerks.
posted by theora55 at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

This is an old prep rally bit. I'm not saying it's a wonderful tradition, but it's definitely been around for a long time. What made this iteration of it as squicky as it was was the parents' behavior.
posted by roll truck roll at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2011

Worst "Boardwalk Empire" promotion ever.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hey, now. Not everyone has seen all of this season's Boardwalk Empire yet so ixnay.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:14 PM on December 15, 2011

They do say that winters in the Twin Cities are cold with all family members prone to "cabin fever" and loneliness.

"Apparently St. Agnes (my alma mater) wasn't the only Minnesota high school to think this was a good idea, and it took the Internet 20 years to find out about it. Is this one of those regional practices—like stopping in all four directions at an intersection with a two-way stop sign—that we take for granted, but that other states rightly find bizarre and potentially dangerous? How many Minnesota men were tricked as youths into publicly making out with their moms?"*

posted by ericb at 3:14 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

And it looks to me like the woman is trying to grab/stop the hand that was headed to her ass, and then the arm that pulls away was the kid.
posted by floam at 3:15 PM on December 15, 2011

I bet if these young men were instead tricked into kissing other young men the outrage would be absolutely deafening. What a weird time we live in.
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:16 PM on December 15, 2011 [40 favorites]

Full equality will never be achieved until this also involves making out with the same-sex parents.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:16 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

So if it is a tradition, the kids all know there is a non-zero chance they are making out with and grinding all up on their mom?

I would have been on my guard constantly if I had grown up there.
posted by Ad hominem at 3:16 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

woah, timing.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:16 PM on December 15, 2011

Nope.
posted by Navelgazer at 3:16 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

The parents were in on it.

Well, that makes it totally okay then.






Wait, what?!
posted by Sys Rq at 3:17 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

So... if this is a regular recurring tradition, who did the guys think they were kissing? Are there a whole bunch of different local traditions involving kissing people blindfolded in public and they just weren't sure which one this was?
posted by XMLicious at 3:18 PM on December 15, 2011 [27 favorites]

How many Minnesota men were tricked as youths into publicly making out with their moms?

Not this Minnesota guy.

I wouldn't call it "tricked" at least.

*sobs* I am so damaged
posted by Think_Long at 3:18 PM on December 15, 2011 [4 favorites]

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PUSH GOD OUT OF OUR
SCHOOLS. FIRST GAYS NOW INCEST. I BLAME THE LIBERALS
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 3:18 PM on December 15, 2011 [4 favorites]

And here I was expecting to see both parent and child blindfolded, or at least something indicating that both parties had been tricked.

But nope, just the kids.
posted by incandenza at 3:19 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

The lesson here is don't make out with anyone random, especially while you're blindfolded, and don't trust teachers and administrators or authority figures of any kind.

If these kids haven't figured that out by now then they deserve their mom's tongue down their throat.
posted by chronkite at 3:20 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

It's simple; every kid there thought there was a chance they were making out with their hot teacher. It's that simple when you're that age (and a dude).

The parents clearly needed no encouragement.
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:21 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oedipalfilter. Can't bear to watch the video. Might have to gouge out my eyes.

My wife and I recently decided to watch SNL again after a long drought. The (recurring! huh?!) skit where the family members make out with each other. Is this somehow that? Is this a thing? Mind you, seeing Paul Rudd and whatshisname from the Muppet Movie, they're goofy funny parody kissing. But the concept that they're brothers, that's funny how?

Related: get off my damn lawn.
posted by artlung at 3:22 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

I am thinking of a way to cost benefit this. Would I make with strangers blindfolded if it was a 1/10 chance it was my mom? 1/100 chance? I had a philosophy professor that had a lesson that was like "If I offered you a muffin and told you 1/100 was poisoned, would you take a muffin". I don't know what The risk/reward ratio would have to be before I risked making out with my mom.
posted by Ad hominem at 3:22 PM on December 15, 2011

So... if this is a regular recurring tradition, who did the guys think they were kissing? Are there a whole bunch of different local traditions involving kissing people blindfolded in public and they just weren't sure which one this was?

At least at my school, pranks like this were on a three-or-four-year rotation. The adults remember the last time, but the kids don't. Same with various interclass competitions rigged to make the underclassmen look incompetent.
posted by roll truck roll at 3:22 PM on December 15, 2011

You know that face Kermit the Frog makes when he's recoiling from something and it's pretty much just Jim Henson making a fist? That is the face I'm making right now.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 3:23 PM on December 15, 2011 [93 favorites]

The principal pointed out that the video only covered about a minute of the half-hour pep fest and added that none of the students or parents involved in the kissing have complained to him.
posted by andoatnp at 3:23 PM on December 15, 2011

You guys noticed that there are blindfolded girls in the video, too, right? Not that it makes any difference, since the whole thing is gross and uncomfortable-making, but there seems to be a lot of dude's hand on mom's ass focus. There was a lot of daddy-daughter action happening, too.

DO NOT WANT.
posted by phunniemee at 3:24 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

First of all, what the hell is wrong with those parents?

Secondly, OP, why put Apology in scare quotes? It seems pretty sincere:

"There is no question that people were offended," Wollersheim said. "I apologize to those who were offended, and we won't do it again."

Wollersheim emphasized that "anything that happens at this school is the principal's responsibility. I take full responsibility. ... There shouldn't be an event in a school that we offend people with."
posted by entropone at 3:26 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Squares.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 3:26 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yeah, as visceral as my reaction was to the video, after stopping to think about it, this is a big So What. Nobody actually involved seems very bothered. It's all very WTF, though. Kinda like the Darth Vader sex scene in Revenge of the Nerds.

And yes, incest is wrong. Easy

And if you'd read the article you're referring to, you'd have seen that it addresses the fact that an unsupported knee-jerk is not sufficient reasoning for an informed moral decision.
posted by cmoj at 3:27 PM on December 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

Metafilter: There was a lot of daddy-daughter action happening, too

depending on what subsite you read.
posted by Think_Long at 3:27 PM on December 15, 2011

I'm a bad person, but if this happened to friends of mine I would start every conversation with "Remember that time you made-out with your mom infront of everyone?"
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:32 PM on December 15, 2011 [25 favorites]

I was predictably outraged over this. I didn't watch the vid. Then I saw that the parents weren't blindfolded in the preview. It's weird, weird, weird -- but also none of my business, then.
posted by SkinnerSan at 3:32 PM on December 15, 2011

Well, look... it's hard to tell, but to me it doesn't appear that there's a lot of tongue action going on. There's a lot of over-acted "making out" motions, but this kiss in the end is a pretty traditional on-the-lips-between-relatives kiss (which is, I know, controversial, but something I practiced with my parents until I was in college).

Humiliating? Almost certainly, in a way that all pranks are humiliating. Incest? Really??
posted by muddgirl at 3:34 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

entropone: Secondly, OP, why put Apology in scare quotes?

Dude could have resigned from his job and dedicated the rest of his life to feeding starving children in Africa, and it wouldn't have been enough to balance out that stunt.
posted by gman at 3:34 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I mean, come on, people. At least it wasn't fathers kissing sons...

Although, mothers kissing daughters with ass-grabbing...
posted by Samizdata at 3:34 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Remember that time you made-out with your mom infront of everyone?"

Everyone has a friend who has to be a dick, when they see you talking to a woman at a bar they roll up and bring up something embarrassing "how's the job search going, you move out of your parents place yet?". This might be the ultimate.
posted by Ad hominem at 3:35 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Assuming that you don't know the kissers, even if you are told it is child/parent, is watching the video really that much more disturbing than seeing any two strangers kiss?
posted by stifford at 3:35 PM on December 15, 2011

> Incest? Really??

I don't see anyone calling this incest.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:35 PM on December 15, 2011

You know, it's really skeevy and weird and sick and wrong to have people kiss their parents.

But let's say these weren't their parents and instead were other students or people the student athletes could be presumed to have found attractive. That doesn't have the incest angle, but why the hell is a school forcing students into blindfolded make-out sessions for an audience, regardless of who the recipients of their kisses are? It's already wrong on about 12 levels before you include the parents.
posted by jacquilynne at 3:35 PM on December 15, 2011 [18 favorites]

At 0:26 I was half expecting pants to come off. On the floor? Really?
posted by Chuffy at 3:36 PM on December 15, 2011

> Assuming that you don't know the kissers, even if you are told it is child/parent, is watching the video really that much more disturbing than seeing any two strangers kiss?

Um, the thing is that it's parents and their kids.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:36 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

Um, the thing is that it's parents and their kids.

Yeah, I got that part...and if it was My Aunt Sally making out with Cousin Mike, I would be more "WTF"? But if you don't know them, is it really that much more shocking? To the point that you can't make it through a minute long video? Maybe it's just me, Ive been called the weird one before.
posted by stifford at 3:40 PM on December 15, 2011

cmoj: Yeah, as visceral as my reaction was to the video, after stopping to think about it, this is a big So What. Nobody actually involved seems very bothered. It's all very WTF, though.

Yeah, this is about where I come down, reaction-wise. Initial reaction was "OMG EW!", then...I giggled. I could be wrong, but it didn't look to me like they were actually making out. And the reaction of the kid at the end of the video wasn't to run screaming, but to actually hug his Mom.

It's pretty WTF to me - my own teenagers would surely plot revenge on my ass if I participated in such a stunt - but the people involved don't seem to be crying foul, and I find it hard to imagine that an entire group of parents would do more than exaggerated pantomime of making out, so what the hell.
posted by MissySedai at 3:42 PM on December 15, 2011

Props for managing to get 26 seconds in. I'm surprised I was able to do 5.
posted by Brak at 3:43 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is the first "these parents are jerks" threads where I actually agree that the parents are jerks.
posted by sweetkid at 3:46 PM on December 15, 2011

Ack. My brain refused to parse this correctly.

I read: "Rosemount High School athletes were recently tricked into making out, [comma] with their own parents in front of a crowd."

You know, like the parents are in some corner-screen-bubble reaction shot, like Japanese TV.

When lobotomies become a more precise science, I'm marking this memory for destruction.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:50 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

my skin has crawled clean off and is shivering in the corner
posted by elizardbits at 3:53 PM on December 15, 2011 [13 favorites]

In order to make this happen, someone had to come up with the idea, and then discuss it with at least one other person. Then those two brought it to administrative staff and pitched it as a fun prank for the pep rally. More people got involved to pull of the logistics of it all, and then of course the parents were brought in on it.
Through all that, not one person said "What the FUCK?!?!?...No...no..no...no...fuck no!...I don't even...Jesus, no. Seriously...seek help you sick fuck!!!"
Not one.
posted by rocket88 at 3:56 PM on December 15, 2011 [8 favorites]

I haven't watched the video, but that editorial ericb pointed out is a piece of work!

At least, we assume nobody was making out as intensely as the video seems to show.

You assume? It's like, who are you going to believe, us (actually, our half-assed assumptions) or your lying eyes?

Parents have taken the opportunity at many other RHS pep fests to make their kids a little uncomfortable

"A little uncomfortable"? Wonderful. But being a total sleaze by tradition doesn't make it any less sleazy.

I'm gobsmacked that these parents thought that taking the opportunity to make their sons feel "uncomfortable" was a good idea at all, let alone by kissing them publicly on the mouth.
posted by Gelatin at 3:57 PM on December 15, 2011

I am really surprised by the reactions here. I would have found it embarasing and even a little bit disgusting, but not traumatic or as humiliating as many other things that happen every day in high school.

I know families that don't even kiss on the cheek. Families that greet by kissing on the lips. Families where it is OK for everyone to walk around the house naked. I even know a family with a single bath were people shower together having a conversation with someone else taking a dump, all the while with the door open so they can hear the t.v.

How can I pass judgement on any of them?
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 3:58 PM on December 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

Families where it is OK for everyone to walk around the house naked. I even know a family with a single bath were people shower together having a conversation with someone else taking a dump, all the while with the door open so they can hear the t.v.

Yeah, but it appears that said families aren't doing that in public, let alone in front of a crowd.
posted by Gelatin at 4:02 PM on December 15, 2011

Easily?
posted by Burhanistan at 4:02 PM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

From the editorial: Parents have taken the opportunity at many other RHS pep fests to make their kids a little uncomfortable, but we suspect they’d all draw the line at the kind of passionate kisses the video seemed to show.

A history of humiliation! It's tradition, yo. o.O
posted by Wuggie Norple at 4:02 PM on December 15, 2011

Ayn Rand and God: I know families that don't even kiss on the cheek. Families that greet by kissing on the lips. Families where it is OK for everyone to walk around the house naked. I even know a family with a single bath were people shower together having a conversation with someone else taking a dump, all the while with the door open so they can hear the t.v.

Yeah, but how many parents do you know that trick their kids into making out with them in front of a crowd?
posted by gman at 4:03 PM on December 15, 2011

Yeah, and I love this line, too: but we suspect they’d all draw the line at the kind of passionate kisses the video seemed to show.

I can't even parse that. You have a video that "seems to show" the kind of kisses the esteemed editorial board wants to "suspect" the parents would draw the line at, and yet they claim to "suspect" parents would draw the line anyway.

I've read plenty of hogwash in newspaper editorials before, but this one deserves some kind of prize. Way to try to put lipstick on a pig there and fail, people.
posted by Gelatin at 4:06 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I find this so damn hilarious. The video and the reactions online and elsewhere bring me joy. This sort of deep, deep enjoyment of that one kid saying "luscious lips" and the mom just being like "OH SNAP SON!"

I don't know why, but the fact that this meaningless lip locking bothers metafilter/boingboing makes it even better. Super-troll!
posted by nutate at 4:10 PM on December 15, 2011 [4 favorites]

Nothing surprises me anymore, but this kind of does.
posted by freakazoid at 4:11 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yeah Xeni's "most upsetting thing I have ever seen on the Internet " is a tad over the top unless she is on a special Internet without kitten trampling videos or those Russian skinhead snuff videos.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:15 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Would I make with strangers blindfolded if it was a 1/10 chance it was my mom?

From the abominable editorial:

If you haven’t yet seen the video several Irish captains were blindfolded at the traditional winter sports pep fest and told they were about to get a kiss from another student. What they got instead was a smooch from one of their parents.

This is flat out awful. What the hell is wrong with these people?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:15 PM on December 15, 2011

Well gman, based on my very limited sample and experience, and seeing the pranks they play on each other, the kids in these families I know would consider being tricked into kissing their parents a minor thing, which would require no therapy to fix, because nothing would be broken.

For example:

One of my friends was chatting with this random girl online. He was 15 or 16 at the time. The girl asks about weird sexual fantasies and my friend starts telling her the weirdest things he can come up with. Robe and wizard hat kind of things. She responds in kind. My friend can't believe it, so he goes to call his brother to show him. Turns out the girl was the whole family at the other computer. The whole family bursts out laughing and his mom makes fun of his boner.

In my family this would have been horrible, I don't think I would have been able to look them in the eye for years after that.

My friend got a little embarrassed, then said something like "Damn! I SO thought I was gonna get laid this week. Mom, dad, you owe me one, you have to get me laid ASAP!".

We can still joke about the time he cybered his mom and dad, and how more kinky than we could conceive at 16 they are.

So yeah, YMMV.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 4:18 PM on December 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

And here I thought I hated high school.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 4:18 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Also, this is insanely inventive, a google search pre december 2011 shows no results for parent blindfold kiss.

Rosemount High got str8 twyztid yo, but you wouldn't surmise it from their prior pep rally vids.
posted by nutate at 4:18 PM on December 15, 2011

You have weird friends, Ayn Rand and God.
posted by roll truck roll at 4:22 PM on December 15, 2011 [16 favorites]

roll truck roll: You have weird friends, Ayn Rand and God.

Those two would make very weird friends, indeed.
posted by gman at 4:25 PM on December 15, 2011 [13 favorites]

Metafilter: definitive squick
posted by gorgor_balabala at 4:25 PM on December 15, 2011

> The whole family bursts out laughing and his mom makes fun of his boner.

You know, it's ok to just say that that is fucked up. Not everything has to have some kind of PoMo moral relativity.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:25 PM on December 15, 2011 [24 favorites]

Reddit has funnier comments. including a reference to a similar thing happening 27 years ago. In general the prank involves a kiss on the cheek.

here is a short comment from someone who was there. They took the WTF in stride.
posted by nutate at 4:31 PM on December 15, 2011

Later that night:

Mom: "Well, how did Becky do?"

Dad: "Oh, she was a hot little number, no question. How about my boy?"

Mom: "The hormones are there and raring to go, but he needs to work on his technique."

Dad: "What about the Thompson's girl? I was talking to Dan earlier tonight and he said she seemed a bit strong willed, maybe that's what Junior needs."

Mom: "I don't know, Connie said her boy was firm, yet not demanding. Maybe he should be teaching Junior."

Dad: "Honey, that's just gross and disgusting."
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:35 PM on December 15, 2011 [10 favorites]

I may be an outlier here, but I would have known my own father by the smell of absent-minded nerd wafting through the gymnasium. Seriously.

(Also: NOT ENOUGH THERAPY IN THE WORLD.)
posted by sonika at 4:36 PM on December 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

I don't see anyone calling this incest.

My apologies, I should have said, "Molestation? Really??"
posted by muddgirl at 4:37 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

or those Russian skinhead snuff videos.

Oh God. All of a sudden, I remember that video. That was probably the single worst thing I have ever seen on the internet, in all seriousness. Mind-destroyingly awful.
posted by Sticherbeast at 4:39 PM on December 15, 2011

what

I even know a family with a single bath were people shower together having a conversation with someone else taking a dump, all the while with the door open so they can hear the t.v.

what

We can still joke about the time he cybered his mom and dad

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat



what
posted by Errant at 4:43 PM on December 15, 2011 [9 favorites]

what

Some families are different than your family.
posted by muddgirl at 4:44 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Like the Manson family for example.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 4:47 PM on December 15, 2011 [22 favorites]

Some families are different than your family.

Some families have boundary issues.

But anyhoo, even families that are unusually free and easy with discussing everyone's sex life, etc., do so in their own homes. Not at school. In front of the child's classmates. And cameras. In the age of Everything's on the Internet.

This is Just Wrong, full stop.
posted by emjaybee at 4:51 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

Yes, simulating a make-out session with no actual "making out" is exactly like multiple murder! Thanks for pointing that out!
posted by muddgirl at 4:51 PM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

Maybe because I watch too much slice-of-life anime, but I'm imagining that a lot of these students possibly hadn't had their first real kiss from the opposite sex yet. I imagine them being picked to be blindfolded and kissed, and them thinking, "Oh god yes, this is it! Finally getting my first kiss. Not how I imagined it, but I'll take what I can get!" Summarily blindfolded, they get that kiss, and swoon in the reverie of finally crossing that threshold, moving from child to -

- and then with the blindfold's removal, the truth is revealed, accentuated by a chorus of laughter from their classmates.

I thought my first real kiss from a girl was ruined because I had a spontaneous, seasonal-related nosebleed a few seconds in. Now I see I was actually very, very fortunate.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:55 PM on December 15, 2011 [9 favorites]

Some families are different than your family.

It's true, which is why I'm not sponsoring legislation to prevent them from doing whatever they want, I'm just over here being creeped out by it. Cool?
posted by Errant at 4:56 PM on December 15, 2011 [8 favorites]

i was raised in a tube by the govern ment
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 5:06 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Those are some crazy motherf--wait, too soon?
posted by zombieflanders at 5:08 PM on December 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

My family was its own brand of deeply fucked up, but what the Internet teaches me every day is that there are families far worse.

I would honestly consider suicide if I'd been the victim of a prank like this one.
posted by winna at 5:08 PM on December 15, 2011

Wait, Marisa Stole the Precious Thing, you actually had a nosebleed during your first real kiss?? Does a gigantic drop of sweat also appear on/near your forehead when you are nervous?
posted by Mister Cheese at 5:09 PM on December 15, 2011 [24 favorites]

I can't imagine even one parent wanting to do this, much less a dozen or so of them. Who makes out with their kid? Seriously, who?

On the other hand, it is pretty funny.
posted by zardoz at 5:09 PM on December 15, 2011

It's just one scandal after another at Robert A. Heinlein Senior High.
posted by nanojath at 5:10 PM on December 15, 2011 [18 favorites]

I was not allowed to make or receive phone calls to or from girls until I was in college . Even then it was iffy at best.I got a lecture because my freshman intro packet had a sexual harassment policy in it. I am in my 30s and I still won't admit to have ever had sex in front of my family. Recently my mom announced that she had changed her views of marriage and she would not consider me an oppressor of women if I got married.

Yeah some families are strange.
posted by Ad hominem at 5:15 PM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

9_9 Seriously everyone, how is this a big deal...? I can't imagine anyone having a problem watching this. I think you all are trying to find things to be infuriated by.
posted by rebent at 5:16 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm not quite as disturbed as some here, but I suppose that's because viler and more traumatizing things are done yearly during frat 'initiations' on a yearly basis across the country. This seems like a rather badly thought out joke, but I don't see much evidence of anger among the parents or students involved (or bystanders, for that matter) - and they're the ones who deserve an apology, if anyone does.
posted by AdamCSnider at 5:17 PM on December 15, 2011

Wait, Marisa Stole the Precious Thing, you actually had a nosebleed during your first real kiss?? Does a gigantic drop of sweat also appear on/near your forehead when you are nervous?

Yes. And when disappointed or embarrassed, my eyes are completely hidden by the shadow of my forehead.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:19 PM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

I’m going to tell you a little story. See this man here. This is my grandfather. Grand Papa Vogelcheck. For 90 years he worked in a bakery making sweet little cookies to support his family. Every night he would come home and smooch his family. So we knew we were loved. We’re a close family. What can I say? I guess were all a little.... Vogelchecks.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:21 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

The editorial states that "RHS has done something like the kissing prank before, and it’s not hard to find similar videos from other schools."

I thought they must be full of shit, so I (stupidly) looked up "kissing prank pep rally" and found this video where some homecoming kings get kissed but the video is so bad and the audio is bad it's hard to tell if they're getting kissed by teachers or their parents.

In this video, the blindfolded students are being told it's a teacher who is kissing them. They're in middle school.

At that point, I stopped looking up videos because WTF.
posted by Wuggie Norple at 5:28 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

Seriously everyone, how is this a big deal...?

Because parents participated in tricking their children into doing -- in front of a crowd of their fellow classmates, yet, not to mention various video cameras -- something squicky the children almost certainly wouldn't have knowingly consented to doing?

If the pep rally had some kind of "make out with your parent in public" event that students and their mothers/fathers could each volunteer for, that'd be wierd, but the violation of trust -- and the fact that no one, apparently, suggested that any of the above was a really terrible idea -- takes things to an entirely different level.
posted by Gelatin at 5:29 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm not really feeling the GRAR. I agree with the comment up-thread: I bet if these young men were instead tricked into kissing other young men the outrage would be absolutely deafening. What a weird time we live in, with the caveat that the MeFi response would be pretty much the opposite of what it is, too. Suddenly we'd all be fine with it. "None of the people involved seem particularly bothered; something being 'JUST WRONG' isn't a valid objection; if we're worried about embarrassing teenagers, we sure have our work cut out for us lol; etc." I mean, can you imagine if someone thought "Maybe some people are okay with two young men kissing, but in public?" was a good reason for why they objected to it?

Honestly, it just looks like an (understandable) en masse "Ew! Incest!" reaction, but people are letting it go unexamined.
posted by Amanojaku at 5:30 PM on December 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

I'm not quite as disturbed as some here, but I suppose that's because viler and more traumatizing things are done yearly during frat 'initiations' on a yearly basis across the country.

I'm speculating here, but my guess is that if this is the shit they pull on their team captains in public, there's a lot more vile and traumatizing hazing going on in the locker rooms of that school, too.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:33 PM on December 15, 2011

Every night he would come home and smooch his family. So we knew we were loved.

Affectionate smooches are one thing; this so-called "prank" is another. I kiss and hug my daughters so they know they're loved, too.

You know how else I show them they're loved? I wouldn't ever trick them like this. (Heck, that doesn't even rise to showing love -- it's showing basic respect as a human being, which you're pretty much past by the time you're using the word "prank," come to think of it.)

It just isn't the same thing. I completely fail to see that these parents are showing love to their kids by doing this.
posted by Gelatin at 5:35 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

I don't think it's incest or even molestation, I don't care if they were tricked into kissing their parents, the milkman, the principal or the driver's ed teacher. It's the "enthusiasm" with which the adults are making out with the kids is really skeevy to me and not at all "oh it's just the same as kissing your parents on the lips."
posted by Wuggie Norple at 5:35 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Not to mention, do I ever feel sorry for any kid in that audience who HAS been or was still actually being molested by their parent because holy shit. Imagine watching that and hearing the roar of people laughing thinking this was hilarious.
posted by Wuggie Norple at 5:37 PM on December 15, 2011 [32 favorites]

When I was 19 and about to leave for college after the holidays, my dad gave me a light half hug from the side and kissed me on the head. My reaction was to sharply recoil and push myself away. This turned into a fight and I left home with my mom in tears accusing me of being cruel, selfish and unloving. Now, if they had chosen to be affectionate sometime in the eighteen years I lived with them rather than as they realized they were getting old and I was pulling away from them, possibly for good, I might have reacted differently.

In my humble opinion, that is far more fucked up than anything in this video. I doubt I would have had to spend even a fraction of the time in therapy I've currently undergone if I had parents that were cool to silly fun like this and actually acknowledge that sexuality and arousal are things that exist and very natural.
posted by Seiten Taisei at 5:52 PM on December 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

A prank like this, or maybe this exact prank, was done at a pep rally when I was in high school. I remember that the set-up strongly implied that the football players would be kissing cheerleaders, but they were tricked into kissing ...someone else. I think it was parents, but I honestly haven't thought of that prank in 15 years, and it's possible this post is influencing my memories. Although I can't think of who else the trick could have been about. No way it was a same-sex kiss in Texas. I'm going to have to check with a friend.
posted by Mavri at 5:53 PM on December 15, 2011

So I'm a high school teacher in a Godless, librul west coast city. I also enjoy adult things. I have adult conversations with my adult friends. There are plenty of dirty pictures (of adults) on my computer.

This is horrifying. Yes, I know it's "just making out." Yes, I'm sure these people are all convinced that it's just for laughs and it doesn't go any farther than that. But I'm fucking horrified.

Why in the hell do these teachers and administrators still have jobs!?
posted by scaryblackdeath at 5:53 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Also, I think this comment bears repeating:

Not to mention, do I ever feel sorry for any kid in that audience who HAS been or was still actually being molested by their parent because holy shit. Imagine watching that and hearing the roar of people laughing thinking this was hilarious.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 5:56 PM on December 15, 2011 [6 favorites]

I'm not unbearably squicked out at the sight of it. If I was a high school kid, watching this prank pulled on one of my friends, I'd think it was funny as hell. But I'm a little taken aback that a school principal OK'ed it. And I'm just floored that they found parents who were OK with it.
posted by tyllwin at 6:05 PM on December 15, 2011

I'm sorry, I'm still horrified by this whole thing.

Even if this really was just students making out with students, as the blindfolded kids allegedly expected: Why is it okay to put students making out on display in front of everybody? Dating happens in school. Casual making out happens in high school. Sex happens in high school. We all know that, but why the hell is this faculty putting that stuff on display, to say NOTHING of the fucked up reality of involving parents?

How much pressure was exerted on the blindfolded students to get them up there in the first place? What sort of bullshit would they have suffered had they refused?

What does this teach our students about sexual coercion? That it's okay to get intimate with someone under false pretenses? And don't tell me this was just making out, because this was goddamn foreplay.

Teachers are mandatory reporters of child abuse in any state I know of. School staffers are often the ONLY adults outside of family that students feel they can trust (sure, not all of them for every student, but all it should take is one). What student is going to come to a teacher or staffer at this school when they know that the staff thinks that stuff like this is just clean comedy?!

Like I said, I'm the last person I'd call a prude, but there's my personal life and then there's professional responsibility -- and in this field, that responsibility goes beyond the letter of the law. This is so god damn not okay.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 6:07 PM on December 15, 2011 [7 favorites]

hey guys I was just having tea with the consent fairy this afternoon and fyi this kind of thing is not cool
posted by threeants at 6:08 PM on December 15, 2011 [20 favorites]

Seriously everyone, how is this a big deal...? I can't imagine anyone having a problem watching this. I think you all are trying to find things to be infuriated by.

These parents didn't just give them a peck on the lips. Some had their tongues down their throats. This is molestation, plain and simple. It may not have any ramifications now, and in the future some of them may not even think about it, but I'd put money on at least one of those kids having some sort of permanent damage from being french kissed by their parents in front of an entire laughing school.
posted by Malice at 6:11 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

My parents are both loving and affectionate and fun-loving and have absolutely zero problem embarrassing their kids when they know it will be funny and if they'd been approached about doing something like this the "Fuck No" would have been heard form the next state.

The only thing I can think of which is keeping these kids at all okay with this is that they were part of a sizable group that it was happening to, but even then the one mother had to go the extra mile to call attention to herself and her son by dragging him to the floor.

I'm glad some of you don't see this as a big deal. Cool. Look around at how many of us are viscerally horrified by this and then imagine that maybe not all of the kids involved were on your side of the fence on this one.
posted by Navelgazer at 6:14 PM on December 15, 2011 [8 favorites]

You know we're all constructing our own reality right? Two possibilities here:

1) Parents and children close enough and not afraid of physical affection and acknowledging sexuality so this is no big deal

2) Parents being super-sketchy and taking advantage of their kids

In a really small way we are creating one of these realities in our discussion here.
posted by ianhattwick at 6:18 PM on December 15, 2011

You know we're all constructing our own reality right? Two possibilities here:
1) Parents and children close enough and not afraid of physical affection and acknowledging sexuality so this is no big deal
2) Parents being super-sketchy and taking advantage of their kids

I don't think you live in the same reality that American kids live in. There's a 99% probability that at least one kid in that audience has been no-shit-really-molested by a parent or other close family member. What this school's staff did was just put up a big sign that says, "Lighten up" and shoved it in the face of every victim of such treatment, and statistics will pretty much goddamn guarantee you that there are such victims in that audience.

This shit here? This is what is referred to as "grooming behavior." Full-on serial child molesters do whatever they can to desensitize kids of their warning reflexes so they can push those boundaries even further.

The staff of this school would know that if they hadn't gotten their credentials out of a fucking cereal box.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 6:26 PM on December 15, 2011 [13 favorites]

Some had their tongues down their throats.

I get that you're squicked, but...um...how could you see that? Where did any kid (or parent) say that? I'm hard pressed to see more than the backs of heads. As I said earlier, it looks like exaggerated pantomime from where I'm sitting.

This thread rather reminds me of the one about the guy who waved at his kid from the front porch every day, wearing a goofy costume. The cries of "child abuse" strike me - then, as now - as a bit much.
posted by MissySedai at 6:29 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

There's a world of difference between the Costumed School Bus Dad and this, MissySedai.
posted by Navelgazer at 6:32 PM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

This thread rather reminds me of the one about the guy who waved at his kid from the front porch every day, wearing a goofy costume. The cries of "child abuse" strike me - then, as now - as a bit much.

I'm not nearly so worried about the parental relationships between these individual students and parents (though, frankly, I AM worried about that) as I am about the loud, public abdication of maturity and professional responsibility of this school's staff. I'm not saying that these parents should go to jail (though...jeezus). I AM saying that this principal should be fired and never allowed in a school again, and probably a whole lot of his staff should go with him for not having the guts and common sense to do something to STOP this.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 6:35 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

There are only two things any of us know for sure about this. One, parents kissed their children. That shitty video barely conveys that much information, let alone that "some had their tongues down their throats." Two, none of the kids or parents involved complained.

Assuming they weren't forced into blindfolds and knew at some point prior to the kissing what was happening (and your mom never made you kiss her or your granny or someone as a kid when you didn't want to? Does that mean you were raped?), the only legitimate complaint that I see is that it could be triggering, and I'm pretty on the fence about whether it's everyone else's responsibility to make sure no one is reminded of anything bad that ever happened to them as it is.
posted by cmoj at 6:44 PM on December 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

the only legitimate complaint that I see is that it could be triggering, and I'm pretty on the fence about whether it's everyone else's responsibility to make sure no one is reminded of anything bad that ever happened to them as it is.

cmoj, do you work in education? Social work? Law enforcement? Are you expected to be a primary reporter of sexual abuse of children?

I am, and so is the faculty of this school. That's what I'm saying. These people should know better than to pull shit like this.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 6:47 PM on December 15, 2011 [4 favorites]

Do you really think any of the kids in that video are going to complain publicly? I'm thinking there might be a lot of peer pressure at stake, not to mention who wants to be the kid who is quoted as saying "yeah, it really bothered me that my mom made me put my hand on her ass."
posted by Wuggie Norple at 6:48 PM on December 15, 2011 [4 favorites]

1) Parents and children close enough and not afraid of physical affection and acknowledging sexuality so this is no big deal

As I've said, I could maybe acknowledge this possibility if it weren't for the fact that that the children were blindfolded and unaware that they were actually kissing their parents.

Come on -- the kids were blindfolded. Unless you think that's no factor at all in the interactions on display here, of course the parents took advantage of their kids.

Also, what scaryblackdeath just said about the lack of professional responsibility of the staff and Wuggie Norple's pointing out that some of the kids in the audience may well have been abused by a parent.

What happened at this pep rally was not a celebration of the natural affection between parent and child. It was not cool.
posted by Gelatin at 6:49 PM on December 15, 2011

I'd have to agree that most of my squickedness is derived from the descriptions of events, rather than visual confirmation--as I couldn't get too far on that front, due to my general disturbance around the issue.

Honestly, I'm not really bothered by any of Ayn Rand and God's examples, which I'd generally categorize in the Boundaries bucket, which, if there's a mutual understanding, I can just move past.

But there's not really mutual consent here. And the acts don't seem innocent. This isn't simple affection. It's (ostensibly) arousal-driving acts. And that's Just Not Okay with me in the family, for a variety of reasons.

Maybe that makes me close-minded. Admittedly, I'm not certainly in possession of all the facts. But if it is what it says, it's just not right in my book, in jest or not.
posted by Brak at 6:50 PM on December 15, 2011

I find the 'this is just natural behaviour from people who aren't afraid of physical affection' angle baffling.

It's only even possibly funny because it's taboo. If it was actually perfectly normal and acceptable, they wouldn't have done it in the first place.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:52 PM on December 15, 2011 [16 favorites]

There's a world of difference between the Costumed School Bus Dad and this, MissySedai.

We've got 54 seconds of crappy vid of an admittedly squicky prank, and nothing more, yet the accusations of molestation/abuse are flying around like snowflakes in a blizzard. We have even less information here than we had for School Bus Dad, and yet...

We seem to get a lot of exercise jumping to conclusions around here.

I'm not nearly so worried about the parental relationships between these individual students and parents (though, frankly, I AM worried about that) as I am about the loud, public abdication of maturity and professional responsibility of this school's staff.

THIS, I think, is a more reasonable reaction, and I can get behind this. This sort of stunt would never have flown when I was in school - pretty sure the principal would have flat out yelled "Are you out of your fucking minds?" at the very notion - and certainly wouldn't where Younger Monster attends.

The authority figures did not think things through, and seem to have forgotten that the grown-ups need to be actual grown-ups.
posted by MissySedai at 6:56 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

But there's not really mutual consent here.

The kids were blindfolded and unaware who they were kissing. There could not be mutual consent, and the parents knowingly took advantage of the fact.

And let's also not forget that this wasn't some random group of teens, let alone members of the "We're All Sex-Positive Here Thank You" Club. These were the captains of various sports teams, so apart from presuming athletic prowess, I don't think you could draw any conclusions about them or their attitudes to anything, let alone sex and their relationships with their parents.

(And I might add that we recently had a long discussion here on the Blue about how not reacting with immediate outrage or complaint doesn't make what happened okay.)
posted by Gelatin at 6:56 PM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

including a reference to a similar thing happening 27 years ago. In general the prank involves a kiss on the cheek.

I'm not sure I want to see what this prank looks like 27 years from now.

unless she is on a special Internet without kitten trampling videos

I'm on that internet. I AM ON THAT INTERNET.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 6:57 PM on December 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

Good point, jacquilynne - I thought that too. It would still be funny, though, because it is unexpected, even if it isn't taboo. And there are different levels of taboo - from unacceptable to therapy-level.

The kids were blindfolded and told they were going to be kissed by someone, and knew they would not know who that person was. The consent is there, just not consent to be kissed by a family member. Whether that is significant depends on how icky you think this is.

I'm just making the point that we can choose for this to not be a big deal, some other cultures probably would have, and maybe our collective awkwardness with this is a remnant of our sexually-repressed history.
posted by ianhattwick at 7:00 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

the only legitimate complaint that I see is that it could be triggering, and I'm pretty on the fence about whether it's everyone else's responsibility to make sure no one is reminded of anything bad that ever happened to them as it is.

In everyday life, sure, I could agree with you. In high school, I would not have to be subjected to watching this. This isn't like not wanting to be taught evolution or sex ed.
posted by Wuggie Norple at 7:00 PM on December 15, 2011

(I mean I would not want to be subjected to watching this)
posted by Wuggie Norple at 7:01 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

This isn't like not wanting to be taught evolution or sex ed.

I'm suddenly grateful for the hamfisted birds-and-bees talk I was subjected to.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:05 PM on December 15, 2011

I think I've read the whole thread, and I seem to be the only person who's seen this before. I always assumed everything our cheerleaders did came out of some playbook, so I was surprised that this is apparently rare (no one else here went to a high school that had the playbook) and that no one found another example of this by googling. So I googled--pep rally skit kiss parents-- and found this:

"Sit the senior football players in front of the student body. Explain to them that they are going to get a kiss on the cheek and then they will have to guess which cheerleader kissed them! Blindfold the boys and then bring out their Moms! The Moms kiss their son, then run out of the gym. Take off the blindfolds and let the boys guess. Of course, they'll all be wrong. Do the whole thing again but when they are all done guessing wrong, bring out their Moms for them to see! The crowd will go crazy."
posted by Mavri at 7:06 PM on December 15, 2011

Absolutely disgusting! And that's just the Boardwalk Empire spoilers ^^^
posted by smithsmith at 7:12 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I was surprised that this is apparently rare (no one else here went to a high school that had the playbook) and that no one found another example of this by googling.

Here's one with a Dad smooching his son. And kiddo is PISSED.
posted by MissySedai at 7:20 PM on December 15, 2011

...and another one. No Dad, this time. The boys are clearly amused by the big reveal.

Granted, these are not staged to look like huge makeout sessions, but still. This is apparently not an unheard of prank.
posted by MissySedai at 7:27 PM on December 15, 2011

A kiss on the cheek I think has LOTS different connotations than a kiss on the lips. I'm still squicked by families that lip-kiss, but that's a personal hangup, sure, I can see that. But in our society, a kiss on the cheek vs. one on the lips has a lot different meaning.

(The thing I have never understood about kissing booths or random kisses from strangers...sounds like a good way to get herpes to me.)
posted by maxwelton at 7:41 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Looks like we've got some regional cultural variations going on here.
posted by anigbrowl at 7:49 PM on December 15, 2011

I don't think you could draw any conclusions about them or their attitudes to anything, let alone sex and their relationships with their parents.

I completely agree, which is why I'm baffled that so many people here feel confident drawing negative conclusions about same.

In everyday life, sure, I could agree with you. In high school, I would not have to be subjected to watching this.

It's rather unlikely anyone in the audience was forced to watch against their wishes, or were caught by surprise. They, at least, saw what was about to happen ahead of time.
posted by Amanojaku at 7:56 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yeeeeah, I dunno. The kisses look fake passionate and the actions are over the top. When the guys find out they don't freak out in a way that suggests anything full-on happened.

It's not cool, but its not as bad as everyone is making out.
posted by AzzaMcKazza at 8:34 PM on December 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

This shit here? This is what is referred to as "grooming behavior." Full-on serial child molesters do whatever they can to desensitize kids of their warning reflexes so they can push those boundaries even further.

WAT?
posted by AzzaMcKazza at 8:37 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

WAT?

I think the mistake being made here is we have people telling each other how they're supposed to react emotionally to an event we witnessed together. While it's perfectly OK to say "Well, I reacted with X because Y and Z", it's important to let other people feel what they feel without telling them they're wrong to feel that way, i.e., implying they're over-reacting or are callous. We all have a myriad of reasons for having the responses we do to certain events, a lot of the reasons we might not even be aware of.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:41 PM on December 15, 2011 [8 favorites]

Ah... Minneapolis/St.Paul area. Okay.

TwinCitycest!
posted by markkraft at 8:44 PM on December 15, 2011

I think the mistake being made here is we have people telling each other how they're supposed to react emotionally to an event we witnessed together. While it's perfectly OK to say "Well, I reacted with X because Y and Z", it's important to let other people feel what they feel without telling them they're wrong to feel that way, i.e., implying they're over-reacting or are callous. We all have a myriad of reasons for having the responses we do to certain events, a lot of the reasons we might not even be aware of.

That was a well thought out and just all around nice response.

That's all I had to say.
posted by Malice at 9:01 PM on December 15, 2011

I am not at all shocked or outraged by any of the reactions here on the blue. I'm not surprised. I'm not even really bothered.

Again, my issue is with the staff, who should goddamn know better. A dissociated observer on the internet has no reason to be outraged. A trained professional entrusted with the serious responsibilities of working with teens is a whole 'nother matter entirely.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 9:09 PM on December 15, 2011

So... what do you call that act?

"The Aristocrats!"
posted by markkraft at 9:12 PM on December 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I agree with the comment up-thread: I bet if these young men were instead tricked into kissing other young men the outrage would be absolutely deafening. What a weird time we live in, with the caveat that the MeFi response would be pretty much the opposite of what it is, too. Suddenly we'd all be fine with it.

No, we would not all be fine with it. I don't care if it was their parents, a same sex student or a god damn sedated chimpanzee. Funny? Sure. That doesn't stop it from being mean spirited and ugly. Funny is not some kind of absolute excuse for shitty behavior.

And it's hardly a surprise that none of the pranked students have complained publicly. Most people are reluctant to express any kind of vulnerability in front of an audience. Complaints are just liable to make them more of a target for teasing and further strain their relationships with their family. Perhaps all of them did shrug it off. Few if any would have been so naive as to think they were about to make out with someone hot. But the absence of complaints doesn't mean a thing unless it's in an environment where complaints could be accepted without adverse consequences.
posted by BigSky at 12:37 AM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]

From the editorial:

"The parents in that instance limited themselves to chaste pecks on the cheek, but we think it’s an argument in Rosemount’s favor that the parents here were willing to play along so thoroughly."

Heh. So if the parents had played along more thoroughly yet it would have been even more to the credit of Rosemount High?
posted by BigSky at 12:42 AM on December 16, 2011

So if the parents had played along more thoroughly yet it would have been even more to the credit of Rosemount High?

Putting the mount in Rosemount, as it were? Yerck.
posted by maxwelton at 12:47 AM on December 16, 2011

*rocks, gibbers*
posted by obiwanwasabi at 2:28 AM on December 16, 2011

none of the kids or parents involved complained.

Exactly who are the kids are going to complain to?
posted by fullerine at 3:52 AM on December 16, 2011 [5 favorites]

Medic Edit!
posted by fullerine at 3:53 AM on December 16, 2011

My coworker said they did this at his high school. This was about 30 years ago.

We're in the City of Brotherly Love, btw. ; )
posted by orme at 4:54 AM on December 16, 2011

We've got 54 seconds of crappy vid of an admittedly squicky prank, and nothing more, yet the accusations of molestation/abuse are flying around like snowflakes in a blizzard. We have even less information here than we had for School Bus Dad, and yet...

see but 'parents tongue in sons mouth at school rally' is really the relevant information here
posted by Rory Marinich at 5:21 AM on December 16, 2011

So even if the kisses weren't as over-the-top as they might seem in the video, and even if it was all a hilarious prank, and even if none of the students involved complained, and even if kisses are really No Big Deal and worse stuff happens to a lot of people and there was no lasting harm done to anyone involved...


...even assuming all of that, aren't we just a bit uncomfortable with a high school kind of making a mockery of the concept of "informed consent"?

I mean, I don't want to derail the thread by dropping a loaded term like "rape culture" (whoops), but, wow...I'm not comfortable with the idea of spreading the notion that "Tricking Person A into performing Intimate Act X with Person B while thinking that it's actually Person C" is a super-hilarious prank to pull.

Even without the incest flavoring, this idea really makes me uncomfortable. It's not just me, is it?
posted by DiscountDeity at 6:59 AM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]

Ok, the bottom line for all you people on this thread who think this is no big thing, "get over yourselves" blah, blah, blah...What the fuck is wrong with parents who volunteer to tongue kiss their children? I have a 19 year old son...I don't want to make out with him, EVEN AS A JOKE.
posted by Kokopuff at 7:47 AM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]

see but 'parents tongue in sons mouth at school rally' is really the relevant information here

It would be relevant if it were actually information.

I'm interested to know where you got this "information", because it hasn't been reported anywhere, and I can't see anything but the backs of heads in the video. The number of folks around here with x-ray vision is astonishing.
posted by MissySedai at 7:49 AM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ok, the bottom line for all you people on this thread who think this is no big thing, "get over yourselves" blah, blah, blah...What the fuck is wrong with parents who volunteer to tongue kiss their children?

Bottom line for all y'all screaming about tongues...Where the fuck are you getting your information? Jumping to an uninformed conclusion is not the same as being in possession of the full facts.
posted by MissySedai at 7:53 AM on December 16, 2011

Dear MissySedai: did you ever go to high school? Did you happen to see the one "couple" rolling around on the floor? Oh, I'm sure it was all chaste, closed mouth kissing.
posted by Kokopuff at 8:17 AM on December 16, 2011

I completely agree, which is why I'm baffled that so many people here feel confident drawing negative conclusions about same.

Gee, I dunno, maybe because of the whole "blindfolded and tricked" thing? Every single one of those kids might otherwise have been perfectly fine with the notion of at least giving their parents a peck on the lips, but they were never given the option to consent. That's a rotten thing to do, and again, the fact that no one complained is not exactly a ringing defense.

As I've said, it might mitigate matters somewhat if the kids were actually aware of what was about to happen and agreed to it (which would make the blindfolds more like plausible deniability than a deception), but in that case the word you'd use to describe what happened is a skit, not a prank, and anyway no one has suggested it was anything but a low-down, dirty, rotten trick. Which each of those parents and the school administration all gleefully participated in. Not. Cool.
posted by Gelatin at 8:45 AM on December 16, 2011

it's important to let other people feel what they feel without telling them they're wrong to feel that way

True, but my problem comes when people are incapable of self-reflection to the point of projecting all kinds of stuff that literally nobody but the people involved know, like people saying over and over that tongues are down throats and such as if they knew that for a fact. We don't really have any idea at all.
posted by cmoj at 9:26 AM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]

No, we would not all be fine with it. I don't care if it was their parents, a same sex student or a god damn sedated chimpanzee. Funny? Sure. That doesn't stop it from being mean spirited and ugly. Funny is not some kind of absolute excuse for shitty behavior.

Okay. I don't believe that's really the case (see the rest of the thread for many, many variations on "That's SO wrong" that strongly imply it's because of the incest vibe, not simply because kissing someone other than the person you thought you were going to kiss is THAT bad) but that would be totally valid if it were.

Gee, I dunno, maybe because of the whole "blindfolded and tricked" thing?

Even so. "Because parents participated in tricking their children into doing -- in front of a crowd of their fellow classmates, yet, not to mention various video cameras -- something squicky the children almost certainly wouldn't have knowingly consented to doing?" reads a awful lot like "drawing conclusions about them or their attitudes to anything, [including] sex and their relationships with their parents" to me.

Anyway, that's that. I really should have known better than to get in the way of recreational outrage in the first place.
posted by Amanojaku at 9:50 AM on December 16, 2011 [3 favorites]

What makes me shudder is the very real possibility that one of those kids, somewhere along the way (and not just in this video), really *is* being molested by the parent who is now kissing him/her on the mouth in front of the whole school while being laughed at.
posted by RedEmma at 9:51 AM on December 16, 2011 [6 favorites]

So I'm gonna repeat some stuff here -- and again, I'm a teacher, and I am no prude by any stretch in my personal, private, adult life. My outrage isn't "recreational" as Amanojaku would like to believe. My outrage is professional.

1. This school's staff knows goddamn well that there is a 99% probability that one or more kids in that audience has been molested by an adult, and I mean no-shit-really molested. They know that, because they're trained (not that you could tell from this). Tthey're a primary point of detection for child molestation. They're taught to look for warning signs -- such as efforts by adults to desensitize students and reduce their warning reflexes. They just told all of those kids, "You know what? Lighten up."

2. This school's staff and these parents just told all these kids that they think informed consent is a joke.

3. This school's staff has just shown their entire student body, in no uncertain terms, that they will gleefully deceive them in order to subject them to gross public humiliation. Further, they've shown they'll get away with it, too.

4. This school's staff has just shown their entire student body that they are absolutely fine with putting this sort of behavior on stage for everybody. Consider the repercussions of that in how these students handle dating, how they dress, and whether it's acceptable for a girl (or, hell, a guy) to say "no."

5. We have no way of knowing how much pressure these students were subjected to by their peers and teachers to participate. They can say they weren't pressured, but then, students who were pressured would probably say that, wouldn't they? I realize this is a bit of an unfair argument as there's no way to prove the negative, but again, check out my other points.

Is this all jail-worthy? Not really. But it's certainly time to go on a firing binge at that school, 'cause every goddamn person there with a certificated job (as in teachers, administrators, counselors and nurses) had a professional responsibility to step up and say this was bullshit and find a way to stop it.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 10:11 AM on December 16, 2011 [10 favorites]

If you have a reddit account, vote up this AMA request for the mom who was rolling around on the floor. You know you want to hear more.
posted by nutate at 10:35 AM on December 16, 2011

This school's staff knows goddamn well that there is a 99% probability that one or more kids in that audience has been molested by an adult, and I mean no-shit-really molested

I don't understand why I should believe this is troubling or relevant. I don't see any sort of reasonable relationship between what is going on in that auditorium and sexual assault, and the efforts here to blur or erase that distinction come off as little more than ideological and unhinged.

I also don't accept the suggestion that these kinds of events somehow traumatize or antagonize sexual abuse victims. I imagine most kinds of humor are offensive to a nontrivial fraction of the population, and I'm not comfortable with the idea that every hypothetical sensitivity needs to be coddled. On a case by case basis, I would say this sensitivity in particular is unpersuasive.

In an age before the Internet could bring atom bombs of mean-spirited scrutiny and shame down on everything and everyone weird ("Oh noes, stoopid btich inside a horse!!!11!!") , this would likely only be remembered as crazy highschool fun. But the mob justice of the Internet seeks to alienate and atomize everyone, until we're all just cowed, anonymous virtual entities, terrified to behave or interact with people in any uninhibited, trusting, or genuine way.
posted by dgaicun at 10:58 AM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ah, so one girl did freak out... after getting a peck on the cheek. Just goes to show how this was a thing that could be taken in many different ways by many people and was clearly stupid... but... like so many stupid/wrong things, was also hilarious.
posted by nutate at 11:03 AM on December 16, 2011

Dear MissySedai: did you ever go to high school? Did you happen to see the one "couple" rolling around on the floor? Oh, I'm sure it was all chaste, closed mouth kissing.

So...your parents would have tongued you if they had participated in this kind of stunt?

Seriously, peeps. Information first, then freak the fuck out. You know, like grown ups.
posted by MissySedai at 11:04 AM on December 16, 2011

This school's staff knows goddamn well that there is a 99% probability that one or more kids in that audience has been molested by an adult, and I mean no-shit-really molested
I don't understand why I should believe this is troubling or relevant.

Holy shit.

I also don't accept the suggestion that these kinds of events somehow traumatize or antagonize sexual abuse victims.

You don't get what I'm saying. I'm not talking about those victims being traumatized by seeing this. I'm saying that they've been shown they absolutely should not trust the people they SHOULD be able to turn to for help if/when they HAVE been subject to such treatment.

You're not a teacher, a social worker or a cop, are you? Then you have the luxury of rolling your eyes and telling these kids that such things aren't a big deal. You get to be that guy, for whatever that's worth to you. Teachers aren't in that position. They have exactly the opposite responsibility.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 11:23 AM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]

I imagine most kinds of humor are offensive to a nontrivial fraction of the population, and I'm not comfortable with the idea that every hypothetical sensitivity needs to be coddled.

Yeah, there's a huge difference between "that's not funny" and "that's potentially triggering to sexual abuse survivors." Huge. It's not even a fine line. It's a giant line saying "MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T 'SURPRISE' KIDS BY HAVING THEIR PARENTS MAKE OUT WITH THEM BECAUSE THERE ARE KIDS FOR WHOM THIS IS A REALITY AND NOT A JOKE AND NOT ONLY IS IT NOT REALLY FUNNY HA-HA BUT IT'S GOING TO CONTRIBUTE TO SOME SERIOUS DAMAGE THAT'S GOING ON."

Also: this is high school. The point of high school is not to be funny, but to help kids grow up to be fully functional adults. This kind of stunt is totally counter-productive in helping adolescents set proper boundaries and become grown-ups.

Pulled out of context, I agree that we shouldn't coddle to other people's whims or pretty soon, you can't joke about anything - but in the context of public school... I really can't get behind a stunt that's pretty blatantly over the line in terms of what's appropriate in terms of sexually developing kids. Were this my kid's school, I would be righteously pissed and would seek the heads of whoever pulled such bullshit. Not because I have no sense of humor, but because a school rally is no place for a kid to have stunts pulled on them that are squicky at best and triggering at worst.
posted by sonika at 11:35 AM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]

I'm saying that they've been shown they absolutely should not trust the people they SHOULD be able to turn to for help if/when they HAVE been subject to such treatment.

Again, I flatly reject this assertion. There is no contextual or essential overlap between this benign prank and sexual abuse. In fact pranks more often serve to increase trust, which is why they are most frequently employed in contexts that increase group solidarity (e.g. fraternity initiation... not to mention pep rallies, like this).

It's ironic, but I think the people most disturbed by this have a warped sense of healthy, trusting human interaction. I would bet that the families that participate in this kind of event are closer, and much more functional than average.
posted by dgaicun at 11:53 AM on December 16, 2011

Ah, so one girl did freak out... after getting a peck on the cheek. Just goes to show how this was a thing that could be taken in many different ways by many people and was clearly stupid

Stepping away from the controversy, that's a kind of interesting and sad detail. The parent presumably knew that this wouldn't go over well with his daughter, hence the cheek kiss. And lo and behold, he was right.

Reminds me of Seiten Taisei's comment.
posted by roll truck roll at 11:57 AM on December 16, 2011

It's ironic, but I think the people most disturbed by this have a warped sense of healthy, trusting human interaction.

So is that an invitation to psychoanalyze you in return based on your comments here?
posted by scaryblackdeath at 11:58 AM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]

There is no contextual or essential overlap between this benign prank and sexual abuse.


They're not the exact same thing, sure. Bt the common thread of "Sexualized activity in the absence of express informed consent" seems like an overlap to me.


I also don't accept the suggestion that these kinds of events somehow traumatize or antagonize sexual abuse victims.


Given that I've read comments from several sexual abuse survivors saying the exact opposite, I'm kind of curious as to what you're basing this on.
posted by DiscountDeity at 11:59 AM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]

In fact pranks more often serve to increase trust, which is why they are most frequently employed in contexts that increase group solidarity (e.g. fraternity initiation... not to mention pep rallies, like this).

I would argue that sexual pranks are not so awesome in a fraternity context (or anywhere else) either. Pranks and some mild public embarrassment aren't going to kill anyone - at my high school an annual pep rally ritual was a big game of chubby bunny (as I recall, the people selected to play were generally popular kids) - a little embarrassing, and those selected couldn't get out of it, but holy shit that is so, so far from this.
posted by naoko at 12:34 PM on December 16, 2011

as I recall, the people selected to play were generally popular kids

I was "popular" in that I was loud and fat and generally an easy target, and I was a part of these games more than once (see my comment above).

On a deep, kneejerk level, I really don't like this stuff. Forget the kissing prank, all of these games and skits are about aggrandizing a certain social order. A lot of kids would rather spend the time reading.
posted by roll truck roll at 1:23 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]

It's ironic, but I think the people most disturbed by this have a warped sense of healthy, trusting human interaction. I would bet that the families that participate in this kind of event are closer, and much more functional than average.

Presumptions, ahoy!

Why is to so difficult to accept that not everybody is just like you? That perfectly healthy people are going to react differently, emotionally, to the same event?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:24 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]

It's ironic, but I think the people most disturbed by this have a warped sense of healthy, trusting human interaction.

After all, deception is an essential part of any healthy, trusting human interaction.
posted by Gelatin at 1:26 PM on December 16, 2011 [8 favorites]

I was "popular" in that I was loud and fat and generally an easy target, and I was a part of these games more than once (see my comment above).

On a deep, kneejerk level, I really don't like this stuff. Forget the kissing prank, all of these games and skits are about aggrandizing a certain social order. A lot of kids would rather spend the time reading.

Fair enough, yeah. I understand the distinctions about "popular" that you're making. I was mostly thinking about the time my sister - my thin, blonde, athletic, friends with the Mean Girls sister - was selected, which doesn't seem to have scarred her for life or anything. I'd be fine with Less of This Sort of Thing in general, but this kissing thing really does seem to take it to a whole 'nother level.
posted by naoko at 1:43 PM on December 16, 2011

The whole idea of a school rally confuses me, anyway. Don't these students have any studying they could be doing?
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:53 PM on December 17, 2011

If anyone cares, one of the girls said it wasn't anything on a radio call in show.
posted by nutate at 4:12 PM on December 20, 2011 [2 favorites]