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Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen.
December 16, 2011 2:11 PM   Subscribe


 
In a perfct world, maybe they would have phrased these in the positive: "Spend Time with the Right People"; "Face your Problems" &c. Still, I thought you might like it.
posted by gauche at 2:11 PM on December 16, 2011 [8 favorites]


31. stop reading lists on the internet
posted by leotrotsky at 2:12 PM on December 16, 2011 [73 favorites]


Ctrl-F hitting yourself
posted by KChasm at 2:13 PM on December 16, 2011 [44 favorites]


32. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.
posted by item at 2:14 PM on December 16, 2011 [28 favorites]


Kchasm: heh.
posted by item at 2:16 PM on December 16, 2011


Damn this shit is depressing. Was I doing all this? Fuck me.
posted by nathancaswell at 2:16 PM on December 16, 2011 [9 favorites]


5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not.
...
11. Stop being idle.


Those are quite contradictory for many people.
posted by muddgirl at 2:17 PM on December 16, 2011 [51 favorites]


Masturbation isn't there! Carry on.
posted by jimmythefish at 2:18 PM on December 16, 2011 [37 favorites]


No problem; I'll stop doing these right now.

3. Stop lying to yourself

Dammit!
posted by ceribus peribus at 2:18 PM on December 16, 2011 [6 favorites]


STOP SENDING YOURSELF TELEGRAMS STOP
posted by Artw at 2:19 PM on December 16, 2011 [157 favorites]


Masturbation isn't there! Carry on.
It is; something may have affected your eyesight.
posted by Abiezer at 2:19 PM on December 16, 2011 [12 favorites]


Got it. Thanks.
posted by eugenen at 2:19 PM on December 16, 2011


I'm An Angel Investor, Get Me Out Of Here!
posted by grobstein at 2:19 PM on December 16, 2011


Masturbation isn't there!

It's getting there give me a minute.
posted by fuq at 2:19 PM on December 16, 2011 [10 favorites]


Stop making sense.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:21 PM on December 16, 2011 [5 favorites]


STOP MAKING SENSE
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:22 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


I think #6 is something I need beaten into me.
posted by brundlefly at 2:22 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Read The Road Less Traveled? In 2011? Really?
posted by Maias at 2:22 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

And, on the right hand side of the page:

95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness
47 Deadly Sins of Creativity
60 Tiny Love Stories to Make You Smile
30 Books I’m Glad I Read Before 30
37 Ways to Change Your Life in 7 Days
12 Happiness Habits for Busy People
10 Things You Should Be Able To Say Before You Die


That's a whole lot of shit to go through and get done for someone who's not supposed to be trying to make things perfect.
posted by blucevalo at 2:23 PM on December 16, 2011 [12 favorites]


1. Stop spending time with the wrong people.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles.


Um.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:23 PM on December 16, 2011 [14 favorites]


3. Stop lying to yourself.

I never lie to myself.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 2:25 PM on December 16, 2011 [5 favorites]


People that give out nr 4 as blanket advice are a bane in this world. Today, in our "me me" culture not enough people care for others.
posted by ruelle at 2:27 PM on December 16, 2011 [6 favorites]


30. Stop being ungrateful.

I'm grateful he didn't put into a 35 page slideshow (30 things, 4 ads, 1 "other slideshows" slide)
posted by birdherder at 2:27 PM on December 16, 2011 [7 favorites]


♫Stop breathin'♫ (but please keep uploading bad VHS footage to YT!)
posted by obscurator at 2:28 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


31. Stop making obvious, trite lists.
posted by desjardins at 2:28 PM on December 16, 2011 [17 favorites]


36 1/2. Tell the MeFites who helped me on AskMe the other week that they are fucking awesome. Period. End of list.
posted by snap_dragon at 2:29 PM on December 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


Read "The Road Less Travelled"? Oh, puke, what a worthless piece of ignorant crap that thing is.
posted by smcameron at 2:30 PM on December 16, 2011


Well if you say so! Hello mental health 2012!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:31 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Extra Extra! Productivity-Porn blogger posts list of cliched platitudes that will CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND MAKE YOU HAPPY! All you have to do treat ingrained, deeply complex, situation-dependent, and often times subjective behaviors as if they are black-and-white and simply STOP them! So easy!

Next week, how to FLY: Stop letting gravity hold you down!
posted by jnnla at 2:31 PM on December 16, 2011 [56 favorites]


Well, this filled me with rage. But I guess I did it to myself by reading it.
posted by emjaybee at 2:32 PM on December 16, 2011 [7 favorites]


32. Stop reading self-help books.
posted by chavenet at 2:32 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


smcameron, his last one on exorcism will probably make your head explode, but interesting if you want to read a narcissist write about himself at a 5th grade level.
posted by snap_dragon at 2:33 PM on December 16, 2011




chavenet: 32. Stop reading self-help books.

And start writing self-help blogs!
posted by filthy light thief at 2:33 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


34. Stop abusing yourself.

tee hee hee
posted by Mister Fabulous at 2:35 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Fuck me. What a load of old pony.
posted by howfar at 2:35 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'm reminded of a conversation I once had with someone.

Her: "I'm angry at John."
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because he's so tired and out of it, we can't get anything done."
Me: "Why is he tired?"
Her: "Because he took Ecstasy and went to an orgy."

(John walks by, and she yells at him)

Her: "And if you take Ecstasy and go to an orgy, you forget to eat breakfast! Adults eat breakfast, John!"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:36 PM on December 16, 2011 [113 favorites]


By the way. I'm allergic to most self-help books but I wholeheartedly recommend Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now by Burka and Yuen. The authors have been treating procrastinators for decades and the recommendations are backed up by lots of scientific research. It can be a painful read because you gain a lot of uncomfortable insights but it's liberating to know what's going on in your head and how you can fix the procrastination bug.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:38 PM on December 16, 2011 [14 favorites]


Well, okay, on most of these, but NO on

#18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.

Life is too important to let the people and entities that do wrong have a pass. You call it holding grudges? I call it seeking justice.
posted by bearwife at 2:39 PM on December 16, 2011 [12 favorites]


You call it holding grudges? I call it seeking justice.

Batman...?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:40 PM on December 16, 2011 [14 favorites]


Ten things not to say to a depressed person - basically incorporates this entire list.
posted by Artw at 2:41 PM on December 16, 2011 [16 favorites]


@Artw - I was about to say.
posted by Peevish at 2:43 PM on December 16, 2011


Read "The Road Less Travelled"? Oh, puke, what a worthless piece of ignorant crap that thing is.

Wait till you see his list of the 30 books he's glad he read before he was 30. At #5, the book that every American should read, that explains what is at the core of America's prosperity....I don't even really have to type the name, do I? But he thinks that all 1069 pages are worthwhile. At #6 is The Alchemist.
posted by Infinite Jest at 2:45 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


Can we talk about how The Art of War is the most over fucking rated book of all time? I mean seriously.
posted by nathancaswell at 2:47 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


How has he never read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance?
posted by Artw at 2:48 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


31. Cultivate a fine grasp of the bleeding obvious.
posted by Splunge at 2:49 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


From 30 Books I'm Glad I read Before 30 on the same site:

5.Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand – This novel is an explanation of what has been and always will be at the core of America’s prosperity: freedom and capitalism. It should be required reading for every American. All 1,069 pages are worthwhile. Hands down, Atlas Shrugged is one of the best, most influential books I’ve ever read.

Think I'm done here...
posted by newmoistness at 2:49 PM on December 16, 2011 [34 favorites]


Can we talk about how The Art of War is the most over fucking rated book of all time?

That's just what Sun Tzu wants you to think.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:49 PM on December 16, 2011 [34 favorites]


But he thinks that all 1069 pages are worthwhile...
posted by Infinite Jest at 16:45 on December 16

Close, it's 1104 pages +_+
posted by obscurator at 2:49 PM on December 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


I'm totally digging 28 Dignified Ways to Impress Everyone Around You. I'm so done with the regular ways to impress everyone around me.
posted by doublesix at 2:50 PM on December 16, 2011


Wasn't long before I stopped reading and got a strong feeling of

5. Stop telling me what to do
posted by iotic at 2:51 PM on December 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


Wait till you see his list of the 30 books he's glad he read before he was 30.

If only he'd realised he was allowed to read more than one a year. If you're padding out the list with stuff you were made to read at school, maybe you shouldn't be making recommendations for reading lists.
posted by howfar at 2:53 PM on December 16, 2011 [8 favorites]


Stop. Collaborate and listen.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 2:54 PM on December 16, 2011 [21 favorites]


1. STOP TAKING ORDERS! STOP IT! ARE YOU LISTENING?
posted by tspae at 2:55 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Stop playing with yourself.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:56 PM on December 16, 2011


Can we talk about how The Art of War is the most over fucking rated book of all time?

Spoken like a man who has never tried to fight a Chinese war in 500 B.C.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 2:57 PM on December 16, 2011 [19 favorites]


10 Meaner Dogs Than You've Ever Seen


(I liked the list!)
posted by The Deej at 3:00 PM on December 16, 2011


Here's my summary of this list, "One Thing to Stop Doing to Yourself:"

1. Everything that is in some way harming you, keeping you from realizing your potential, or making you unhappy.
posted by dixiecupdrinking at 3:01 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Read "The Road Less Travelled"? Oh, puke, what a worthless piece of ignorant crap that thing is.

It really isn't, actually. (Even though I agree that quite a few of those 30 Best Books certainly are.) A lot of Scott Peck's message actually runs directly counter to the culture of "implement these 30 easy tips and your complex, situation-dependent troubles will instantly evaporate". Sure, he goes off the deep end into some weird religious stuff at the end, but if you can only extract value from a book where you agree with the author's every word, that's not the book's problem! Anyway, agree or disagree, I don't think you can say that his opening sentences are just ignorant crap:

"Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult — once we truly understand and accept it — then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."
posted by oliverburkeman at 3:02 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


I like how he includes The Master and Margarita in the list of must-read books as an anti-communist masterpiece. A little bit of free enterprise would have fixed that Pontius Pilate guy right up.
posted by Dr Dracator at 3:03 PM on December 16, 2011


57. Stop blowing wads of cash on hookers and coke.
posted by perhapses at 3:05 PM on December 16, 2011 [5 favorites]


The Master and Margarita is definitely among other things a critique of Russian Communism. Bulgakov had plenty to complain about, as it turns out.
posted by grobstein at 3:05 PM on December 16, 2011


nope.raw.bin
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 3:05 PM on December 16, 2011


To be fair, everybody should read Atlas Shrugged before they are 30.

Because then you can excuse it as a youthful indiscretion AND call it out for the crap that it is later on from an informed perspective.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:06 PM on December 16, 2011 [6 favorites]


Never read it. Maybe I should watch the movie?
posted by Artw at 3:06 PM on December 16, 2011


From this picture, I'm guessing these two psychotics are about 6 months shy of an interstate murder spree
posted by any major dude at 3:07 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


Close, it's 1104 pages +_+

If only he had been talking about DFW, not Ayn Rand :)
posted by Infinite Jest at 3:07 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why exactly did my FPP post get deleted again?
posted by 200burritos at 3:08 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


I didn't see "stop taking sanctimonious advice from internet lists" on there, perhaps unsurprisingly.
posted by mhoye at 3:08 PM on December 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


Don't Stop Believing.
posted by djeo at 3:10 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


Maybe we're all a bunch of badass supermen/women here, but I can think of a lot of people in my life who could benefit from reading this list. Thanks for posting.
posted by hermitosis at 3:10 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


It's fun reading this with "Metafilter:" instead of "Stop".
Or alternatively with "... in bed" appended...

Metafilter: spending time with the wrong people
Metafilter: lying to yourself
Metafilter: wasting time explaining yourself to others
Metafilter: doing the same things over and over without taking a break
[...]

posted by Hairy Lobster at 3:10 PM on December 16, 2011 [58 favorites]


Great gods, Hairy Lobster, you've broken the secret code!
posted by perhapses at 3:12 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


You should quit...
posted by Minus215Cee at 3:12 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


HACK ANTILIFE FOR DARKSIED!
posted by Artw at 3:12 PM on December 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


but I can think of a lot of people in my life who could benefit from reading this list.

I refer you to #1.

Seriously though. I'm a prick. I know this. I just don't need some other prick telling me to stop it.
posted by howfar at 3:14 PM on December 16, 2011


72. Stop pleasuring yourself to Brady Bunch reruns.
posted by perhapses at 3:15 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


You realize when you click on them you raise their google page rank and that is how they make money, right?
posted by bukvich at 3:16 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


It can be a painful read because you gain a lot of uncomfortable insights but it's liberating to know what's going on in your head and how you can fix the procrastination bug.

I have never fully understood why people feel guilty or bad about procrastinating. Others may not like that I procrastinate excessively, but if I didn't, if I always did what I was supposed to be doing, I would never be able to make time for my own little diversions and projects. Maybe I'm just doing it wrong.
posted by selenized at 3:18 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Obligatory: 43 simple ways to simplify your life
posted by mediated self at 3:24 PM on December 16, 2011 [12 favorites]


94. Get the small candybar. You always tell yourself you'll eat half, but you never do.
posted by deanklear at 3:32 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


if I always did what I was supposed to be doing, I would never be able to make time for my own little diversions and projects. Maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

One could argue that your own diversions and projects are part of what you are supposed to be doing, and to not place them at a high enough priority may be doing it wrong. Just a thought.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 3:32 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Stop all the downloading.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:35 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


113. Stop following people home just because you like the way they smell.
posted by perhapses at 3:35 PM on December 16, 2011 [6 favorites]


One could argue that your own diversions and projects are part of what you are supposed to be doing, and to not place them at a high enough priority may be doing it wrong. Just a thought.

Ah but that's the thing: What motivates me to finally get around to doing all these diversions and projects is actively procrastinating about a much larger project. If it wasn't for finding new and novel ways of avoiding doing something I would never do anything at all.
posted by selenized at 3:37 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


126. Stop in the name of love.
133. Stop Hammer Time.
176. Stop Your Sobbin'.
214. Stop or My Mom Will Shoot.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:39 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


I don't know how you can read Grapes of Wrath and Atlas Shrugged, then decide that Rand is right.
posted by epersonae at 3:42 PM on December 16, 2011 [16 favorites]


I am sorry for linking to Sparknotes but 'The Road Less Travelled' is a little more deep than many realize.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 3:43 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ah but that's the thing: What motivates me to finally get around to doing all these diversions and projects is actively procrastinating about a much larger project. If it wasn't for finding new and novel ways of avoiding doing something I would never do anything at all.

I hate how much I identify with that statement.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 3:50 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


47. Stop claiming that your blog has "hacked life." It's embarrassing for everyone.
48. Stop quoting greeting cards on your blog.
49. Stop plagiarizing Joel Osteen.
posted by EatTheWeak at 3:55 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


(Inspired by the banner photo)

Stop dropping in on someone who is closer to the breaking part of the wave. Srlsly.
posted by Danf at 3:58 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Thanks...this will save me a shitload of time. I'm gonna post that list into EVERY.FRIGGIN.ASKME, one of those has got to be the perfect answer, no matter what the question is.
posted by tomswift at 3:59 PM on December 16, 2011


50. BOOTSTRAPS BOOTSTRAPS BOOTSTRAPS.
posted by strixus at 4:04 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]




Stop putting your own needs on the back burner.

This particular first world, persecuted housewife* victim thing is everywhere lately.
There's an entire hemisphere of people thinking, "I'm gonna put myself first this time!" over and over.

I remember once, years ago, my (now) wife's mom read some book about people taking advantage of you called "Pulling Your Own Strings" or something and was all weird for a few weeks. My wife asked her something mundane like, "would it be possible for you could drive me to the subway later?" and she paused, took a deep breath, looked deep within herself and said in a stern, confident voice:

"NO."
"Um, okay. No problem."

*I'm a housewife, btw.
posted by chococat at 4:12 PM on December 16, 2011 [10 favorites]


Blogging really has a lot to answer for, doesn't it? All those people who used to be confined to a few radio ads and then an appearance at a seminar hosted by the local Ramada Inn (which, by design and federal mandate, was how their exposure to normal people was limited) now...well, it's too horrible to contemplate.
posted by maxwelton at 4:13 PM on December 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


84. Stop up your bumhole with a cork, then you can be full of shit too.
posted by howfar at 4:17 PM on December 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


1. Stop spending time with the wrong people.
11. Stop being idle.


Welp, so long Metafilter; it's been nice knowin' ya...
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:17 PM on December 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


chococat, maybe she was just irked by the bad grammar?
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 4:21 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


This particular first world, persecuted housewife* victim thing is everywhere lately.

People who are trying to learn how to be assertive and just act like assholes are a serious pet peeve of mine. Assertive is not the same as a bitchy, "no, I won't, and you can't make me!"
posted by WorkingMyWayHome at 4:24 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


chococat, maybe she was just irked by the bad grammar?
Ha! Oops.
But no, she's German.
posted by chococat at 4:31 PM on December 16, 2011


but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

Or your enablers.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:36 PM on December 16, 2011 [14 favorites]


This kind of bullshit article is the ugly side of the internet (yes, worse than exploitative porn or whatever). Pure gibberish churned out for ad cents - totally conformist, unthinking shite that makes my heart shriek. The worst thing I do to myself is click on links to shitty content - "content" is what they call it - written by too-eager pricks who know nothing of life.
posted by cincinnatus c at 4:44 PM on December 16, 2011 [16 favorites]


[+plosive] → [–dancing] / music__
posted by iamkimiam at 4:45 PM on December 16, 2011


Before reading link: Please don't say jerking off, please don't say jerking off...

After reading link: Awesome post!
posted by Renoroc at 4:49 PM on December 16, 2011


This junk has been all over my facebook feed. Every once in a while some ehow-ish piece of nearly-machine-written pablum ends up going viral, and I would really love to know how and why that happens.

Basically, what cincinnatus c said.
posted by tempythethird at 4:50 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Good God, this is not self-help, it's a fishing expedition for insecurities. Feel this way, do that thing, job done. This perniciously prescriptive list is, as far as I'm concerned, hot garbage to dispose of immediately. Free your mind. Don't believe this utter shite.
posted by nj_subgenius at 4:55 PM on December 16, 2011 [5 favorites]


0. Don't threadshit!
posted by Obscure Reference at 4:59 PM on December 16, 2011


Good God,
Oops.
posted by Mblue at 4:59 PM on December 16, 2011


STOP POOPING
posted by bewilderbeast at 5:06 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


72. Stop pleasuring yourself to Brady Bunch reruns.

I'm not going to name names, but I find four of those kids very attractive. -- Duckman
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 5:13 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Every once in a while some ehow-ish piece of nearly-machine-written pablum ends up going viral, and I would really love to know how and why that happens.

Christianity as a guide on how to be happy and fulfilled has lost much of its luster and left a void. People don't like to think for themselves and most people feel as though their lives should be better some how-- deeper, more meaningful, happier, more productive. If only there was a checklist, a simple guide to making life better!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:14 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


STOP DOING ALL THE THINGS!

(one week later)

stop doing all the things?
posted by murphy slaw at 5:21 PM on December 16, 2011 [9 favorites]


To be fair, everybody should read Atlas Shrugged before they are 30.

Atlas Shrugged is indoctrinations for some, but inoculation for others.
posted by lekvar at 5:21 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.

CIA torture methods are getting... complicated.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:28 PM on December 16, 2011 [7 favorites]




* 50 Things I Wish My Dad Was Right About
* 18 Dignified Books Google Forgot
* 7 Extraordinary Ways to Love Thought-Provoking Pleasures
* 1 Trick Acai Berries Gave Me A Second Chance to Satisfy Simple People
posted by Wuggie Norple at 5:44 PM on December 16, 2011 [8 favorites]


93 easy things the Roman Catholic Church could be doing RIGHT NOW
posted by silby at 6:19 PM on December 16, 2011 [7 favorites]


You do it to yourself. You do.
posted by maudlin at 6:21 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


* 3 Ways brain-eating amoebas can kill you
* 4 Things you can do with that old neti pot
* 9 Republicans who should not be running for president
* 6 New Porn stars you should know
* 7 Things you should start doing to yourself
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:23 PM on December 16, 2011 [7 favorites]


* 1 Trick Acai Berries Gave Me A Second Chance to Satisfy Simple People

Just when I thought the acai berry SEO blitzkrieg campaign was over, someone necromances in back into my life.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:38 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


You can never escape that One Weird Trick!


(not to be confused with the hat trick or Cheap Trick)
posted by Wuggie Norple at 7:03 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


1. Stop slouching.
2. Stop mouth-breathing.
3. Stop picking your nose take a look at yourself for god sake!
4. Stop - oh FFS, seriously? My eyes are up here.
5. Stop calling everybody "cholo"; you obviously don't know what it means.
6. Stop playing with yourself at the dinner table.
7. Stop watching the clock. This date is over when I say it is.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:16 PM on December 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


8. Stop taking pills that you find in the street.
posted by Monkeymoo at 7:38 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Srsly, you guys, I stopped doing all these things just now and I feel fantastic, no lie. This guy is onto something!
posted by troublesome at 8:11 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


82. Stop your sobbing.
83. Quit your bitching.
84. Stop sniveling.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:42 PM on December 16, 2011


0. entropy
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 8:45 PM on December 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Stop Snitchin'
posted by Burhanistan at 8:50 PM on December 16, 2011


1. Stop
2. Stop stopping
3. Stop stopping stopping
4. Stop stopping stopping stopping
5. Stop stopping stopping stopping stopping
6. Stop stopping stopping stopping stopping stopping
7. Stop stopping stopping stopping stopping stopping stopping
8. Stop stopping stopping stopping stopping stopping stopping stopping
9. Stop stopping stopping stopping stopping stopping stopping stopping stopping
posted by Sys Rq at 8:51 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Don't stop thinkin' 'bout tomorrow.

(Am I doing this right?)
posted by Wild_Eep at 9:01 PM on December 16, 2011


1. You left me.
2. My family.
3. My heartache.
4. My headaches.
5. The lonely.
6. My sorrow.
7. No tomorrow.
8. [fill in later]
9. A lost god.
10. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything.
(11) Kiss off.
posted by maxwelton at 9:03 PM on December 16, 2011 [21 favorites]


31. Stop thinking about white elephants.
posted by daniel_charms at 9:44 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


He's sooo wrong about nine. Passions require money. Lots and lots of it.
posted by squeak at 9:46 PM on December 16, 2011


Well, this is going to sound a little bit X-Men-ish, but it gives huge gifts of peace and contentment, which are the starting place for doing anything great or worthwhile even, and that is:

Try to make your peace with chaos. It's about letting go and feeling the wavelength of a situation and getting into a vibrational sort of alignment with it, and resting into it, and letting go..letting go...letting go...

I mostly use it to fall asleep. Which in my world right now is a fucking great thing. YMMV.

I haven't yet figured out how to make it work in real life without a lot of health destroying drugs, but I'm working on it. I think it has something to do with courage. Like, knowing yourself and being at peace with yourself and moving forward with real courage.


You're getting sleeepy...vverrryyy sleeeppyy.....zzzzzz..SLEEPY!!!

Repeat after me: "I will become one with the vibrational frequency of chaos....and be at peace and contentment, and know myself and move through the world with real courage and true compassion for myself and others....and I will always favorite Skygazer's comments because he is rockin' and desperately needs the validation.....OOoOOoOooMMMMMMMMMM..."


posted by Skygazer at 9:56 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


I was expecting to find an exploding volcano full of Diabetics at the end.
posted by benzenedream at 10:04 PM on December 16, 2011 [6 favorites]


FML
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:19 PM on December 16, 2011


My god, his list of books reads like the plan of some asshole who never got over min/maxing from AD&D* and decided he could apply it to becoming an aggressively glad handling ass. "Let's see, ten self-help, ten "deep" books that will make me look like I care about stuff, shit, I guess I need some fiction so it's not painfully obvious where I stole all my blog posts from, what'd I read in high school?"

ranger, proficiency in long sword, long bow, +4 bonus against ogres, cause who needs a +4 against kobolds?
posted by Ghidorah at 10:41 PM on December 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


s/Diabetics/Dianetics/

45. Stop using autocorrect on all devices.
posted by benzenedream at 11:42 PM on December 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


46. Brush your teeth after every meal.
posted by Skygazer at 12:13 AM on December 17, 2011


25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t.

OK, truth is things are really bad just now and I don't know whether...

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself.

But... didn't you just say..?

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles.


Sorry, see I thought you wanted me to...

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others.

So, er...

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people.

kthxbye, then.
posted by Segundus at 2:22 AM on December 17, 2011 [9 favorites]


31. Stop listening to people who tell you how to live your own damned life. Especially when their ideas seem to involve little more than a lazy combination of the shit-obvious, the superficial, the subjective and the just plain wrong.

Oh wait. I never started.
posted by Decani at 5:08 AM on December 17, 2011


Once we truly know that life is difficult — once we truly understand and accept it — then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."

Why not? I understand that life is difficult (some lives being more difficult than others, but even my remarkably privileged life is frequently difficult) and yet I still find life difficult, and the fact of its difficulty still matters. Presumably this indicates that I have not "truly" accepted and understood this, which seems like something of a no true Scotsman, doesn't it?

Not all lives are equally difficult, and the difficulty of life comes from its real events and conditions. Accepting difficulty as unavoidable is a good idea when your share of trouble is on the low side, a terrible idea when you're putting up with much more than your fair share as a consequence of the system that gives an easy ride to people like me.
posted by howfar at 5:11 AM on December 17, 2011


Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.

Oh, just look at them.
posted by JanetLand at 5:12 AM on December 17, 2011


Stop. Colaborate and Listen.
posted by namewithoutwords at 5:38 AM on December 17, 2011


Don't Stop Believing. yt
posted by djeo at 6:10 PM on December 16 [4 favorites +] [!]


Also, Don't Stop Believing.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:35 AM on December 17, 2011


Also also, stop using sex as a weapon.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:37 AM on December 17, 2011


Never put salt in your eyes.
posted by Bartonius at 11:09 AM on December 17, 2011


“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth.

30 Things That Could Be Closer to the Truth

1. The truth's next door neighbor
2. The truth's cubicle mate
3. The truth's best from from college, who the truth doesn't talk to that often these days, but they always seem to be able to pick right up from last time, yeah?
4. The Dalai Lama
5. Diet Truth
6. Truth Zero
7. The Truth with Lime
8. Anything you read in a McSweeney's-style list that makes you think, "Oh, how droll!"
9. The truth's underthings
10. The truth's trousers (the truth likes a slim fit)
11. Jesus
12. Steve Irwin: Truth Hunter (being dead gives one a remarkable amount of perspective and a renewed lease on one's passions)
13. The Mythbusters
14. Trudy (not that she's all that enlightened, but she does get the truth's mail accidentally delivered sometimes and they've developed a warm rapport by phone)
15. The truth's bodyguard
16. The truth's suspiciously young niece, but only because they were both outsiders in the family, not to imply anything untoward
17. Facts
18. Troubadours
19. Consequences (they were on the road together with a surprisingly durable two-part act)
20. The truth's only nemesis. Also accepted: Sun-Tzu
21. Chicago (the truth has been moving around a lot we forgot to update our address book)
22. Deep Throat
23. Jack Nicholson's character in A Few Good Men who seemed to have a pretty good idea of the truth's manipulability, so we can assume they were pretty well acquainted
24. Kevin Bacon (within a few degrees)
25. Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning
26. Untruth
27. The truth's holding company
28. Truth en español
29. Joni Mitchell
20. Making sure no one is watching and secretly going back to start the counter on the beginning and then strolling in all "What, there's an opportunity here? Oh, I guess I could get in on the ground floor..."
posted by psoas at 11:51 AM on December 17, 2011 [10 favorites]


Joni Mitchell

True!

posted by Sys Rq at 12:03 PM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well, duh.
posted by psoas at 12:06 PM on December 17, 2011


Hooray for unexpected Victor Frankl references!
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 12:52 PM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also also, stop using sex as a weapon.

Or donuts. Don't use donuts as a weapon.
posted by Skygazer at 1:27 PM on December 17, 2011


Stop, drop and roll?
posted by clavier at 1:41 PM on December 17, 2011


Duck and cover.
posted by Skygazer at 2:02 PM on December 17, 2011


* 47 Numbers With Which To Start Your Blog Post Titles
posted by halftone at 9:11 PM on December 17, 2011


47. Stop drinking inferior wine and spirits.
posted by 26.2 at 12:24 PM on December 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


48. Stop making inane humor at the end of threads that have ran their course.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:14 AM on December 19, 2011


You call it holding grudges? I call it seeking justice.

I'm inclined to believe that the 0.047% of the time that it is within your power to impose justice, you should do so. The other 99.953% of the time, don't hold a grudge.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:21 AM on December 19, 2011 [1 favorite]


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