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Not Letting Sleeping Cats Lie
December 25, 2011 12:15 PM   Subscribe

Sleepy kitten really doesn't want to wake up.
posted by quin (33 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
What's amazing is that even while unconscious, kitties can put tally marks down in the retribution file.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:20 PM on December 25, 2011 [8 favorites]


I counter your holiday cuteness with Siku, the orphan ice bear.
posted by mykescipark at 12:21 PM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


I was definitely expecting the irritating human to get his comeuppance at the end of video, and was vaguely disappointed the cat didn't maul him for being a prick. Let the kitty sleep already...
posted by Phire at 12:23 PM on December 25, 2011 [5 favorites]


Siku won't be cute forever.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:26 PM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wow, that baby polar bear really is adorable.

Footnote 1: When he's an adult, he'd as soon casually gut you like a fish than worry too much about the pesky, stinging, but largely harmless bullets you're shooting at him while he roots around in the trash.

Footnote 2: When the kitten is an adult, he'll be imagining casually gutting you like a fish, for poking him in the chest and posing him while he was taking a nap, except that it will be sunny and he'll hesitate to act on this because it might mean an interruption in his dinner deliveries.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 12:29 PM on December 25, 2011 [13 favorites]


Science needs to figure out how I can do that.
posted by srboisvert at 12:31 PM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


But wait! There's moar!

(This video contains indolence, sloth, and graphic laziness. May contain kitteh belly. Suitable for all audiences.)
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:48 PM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hey, look, if you're going to have a Baby Ruthless Carnivore thread, you can't discriminate :-P
posted by mykescipark at 12:53 PM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


rick

rick

rick

so wasted rick

boots next door had egg nog rick

rick

we need egg nog rick
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:53 PM on December 25, 2011 [40 favorites]


I had tuxedo cat who was totally awesome, but really fat. And then I tried to exercise him with a laser pointer, and he lost weight. And then he started to drink water from everything, including sinks, tubs, showers, and mugs. Typical cat stuff, right?

Anyway, to make a long story short, he was diagnosed as being diabetic. I took him to a vet, got tests run, got some special insulin for cats, a bunch of syringes, and a glucometer. I poked his ear to get a drop of blood for spot glucose checks, and found that the vet insulin sucked. Tried some long-acting insulin made for humans out of desperation, and found that it worked well, though I had to inject my cat twice a day.

Right. So one day I was sitting at my desk and looked over at my cat, who was snoozing with his head hanging off the edge of the desk like he usually did. His eyes were partly open and he was drifiting in and out of sleep, and his third eyelid or whatever would start to close which made him look all googly eyed, and I thought this was funny and started taking camfone pics of him.

Got back to whatever it was I was doing, and looked over a while later, and he was kinda twitching. Cat dreams? Then I tried nudging him, and his whole body was limp like the dood in the video. Cat would not. Wake. Up.

Fifty million thoughts running in my head at the same time, about hypoglycemia, and maybe I gave too much insulin, or maybe his pancreas is recovering and his insulin requirements are lower. Maybe he's dying. And while I'm panicking, every thought process converged and focused into one image:

Aunt Jemima.

I remembered that I had bought a bottle of Aunt Jemima syrup in case of hypoglycemia, with the idea that I could rub it onto his gums or something. I had bought the small bottle, with the small dispenser, in case I had to ram it up my cat's butt to deliver sugar that way. I was running back from the kitchen back to the desk, and just as I was struggling to break the plastic seal, the motherfucker wakes up, looks around for whatever was making the crinkly noise, saw me, and then went back to sleep.

Moral of the story: cats are assholes. They like to fuck with you. You can never trust a cat. And when in doubt, reach for the Aunt Jemima.


He's dead now, put to sleep. Bummed me out tremendously. Cremated him, and spread his ashes in my garden, where some neighborhood dog likes to shit. But the hydrangeas bloom often and are multicolor (probably from pH differences owing to downstream dilution of dog piss, but I like thinking that my cat has something to do with it).

It's Christmas, and while I'm not religious, I'd like to think that there's some goodness in everything, and think and hope for the people (and animals) I've had to good fortune to meet. So have a great holiday, everyone. May your friends and family receive the love the world has to offer, and may their lives be enriched today and for all the days to come.


Thanks, too, MetaFilter, for being the source of information, inspiration, new friends and acquaintances, funny videos, and, well, everything.
posted by herrdoktor at 12:53 PM on December 25, 2011 [84 favorites]


Here's me bothering my sleepy kitty, Meniscus.
posted by The Potate at 1:06 PM on December 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


Wait, Brandon. All that photo needs is a cute caption in LOL-speak!

There. Better?
posted by evidenceofabsence at 1:09 PM on December 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


sleepy kitty won't wake up because he's dreaming of CRAZY HOT JAPANESE GIRLS DANCING!
posted by kitchenrat at 1:18 PM on December 25, 2011


Sort of like one of those pith frogs we dissected in 9th grade. Heart still beating, but not much else going on there.

I was waiting for the sharpie to come out. If that was me passed out, my friends would be drawing things like, "This cat is a pussy" on my stomach. Maybe even a picture of a dog or a steaming pile od dog shit drawn on his belly.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 1:47 PM on December 25, 2011


Sleepy miss Susu the soot sprite would wish you all a happy holidays but she's nodding off too :)
(wish I had a better camera than my phone... she's a dark kitty! the light spots above her eyes are where her fur is thinner :) )

Joyeux Noël !
posted by fraula at 1:49 PM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


This kitten will be telling his therapist about an alien abduction and being probed on Christmas Day.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 1:59 PM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


The heaving breathing at around the two minute mark gave the kitten groping a whole different context.
posted by smoke at 2:40 PM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


That kitty needs to NEVER AGAIN leave her drink unattended when she heads to the Ladies'.
posted by thinkpiece at 3:08 PM on December 25, 2011 [4 favorites]


I was definitely expecting the irritating human to get his comeuppance at the end of video, and was vaguely disappointed the cat didn't maul him for being a prick.

Here's an African Bull Frog you make like.
posted by homunculus at 3:13 PM on December 25, 2011 [23 favorites]


I was definitely expecting the irritating human to get his comeuppance at the end of video, and was vaguely disappointed the cat didn't maul him for being a prick.

Here's an African Bull Frog you make like.


That was epic. "How do you like my tongue now...huh? Make me amuse you by teasing me with food. I'll fucking show you! Come here you sonofabitch!"
posted by Fizz at 4:03 PM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


My cat (who lives in Australia with my sister, and whom I visit when I'm in the area) is the other way around; he has determined that being fed at dawn is in his contract and that, when I'm around, that is my responsibility. Consequently, when I stay over, he will not let me sleep past dawn until he has been fed.

He usually tries to wake me by rubbing against my face. My sister was less lucky; he apparently ascertained that closed eyes have something to do with sleep, and once tried to run the process in reverse by lifting her eyelids up with his paws. It worked, though perhaps not for the reasons he imagined.
posted by acb at 4:19 PM on December 25, 2011 [4 favorites]


"If that was me passed out, my friends would be drawing things like, 'This cat is a pussy' on my stomach."

Okay, your use of identity counterfactuals is possibly confusing me. I guess it really is true that on the Internet, no one can tell you're a cat.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 4:45 PM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


Okay, your use of identity counterfactuals is possibly confusing me. I guess it really is true that on the Internet, no one can tell you're a cat.

Cat as in 60's hippie type hep cat.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 5:02 PM on December 25, 2011


In the presence of such sacked out spot-bellied cuteness, how does one not utterly facecat?
posted by louche mustachio at 5:08 PM on December 25, 2011 [3 favorites]


That kitten's all like "Yeah, it's adorable when you do it to me, but we'll see how adorable you think it is when I rub my ass on your face at 4:30 in the morning when you're dead asleep for the next, say, TWENTY YEARS motherfucker now you best have some food ready for me when I wake up."
posted by the painkiller at 7:58 PM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]


Belly. Belly! BELLY! Kitteh belleh! Must rub the belleh! I am compelleh-ed to rub that belleh!
posted by azpenguin at 10:03 PM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]


Bad hand.
posted by Bergamot at 12:55 AM on December 26, 2011


Jesus this Prometheus trailer is scary
posted by mcstayinskool at 9:02 AM on December 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


azpenguin: "Belly. Belly! BELLY! Kitteh belleh! Must rub the belleh! I am compelleh-ed to rub that belleh!"

HA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

I have my own kitteh belleh to rub when ever I want to!

Or whenever it wants it...
posted by Samizdata at 9:16 AM on December 26, 2011


Ah, the Redditification of the Blue is now complete.
posted by humboldt32 at 11:17 AM on December 26, 2011


humboldt32, you are aware that this site was founded off of people photocopying their cats, right?
posted by JHarris at 12:12 PM on December 26, 2011


I am.
posted by humboldt32 at 1:23 PM on December 26, 2011


Well if I actually have to say it -- how do you reconcile this supposed Redditization of Metafilter with the fact that cats have been here from day one?
posted by JHarris at 7:49 PM on December 26, 2011


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