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fuck you mom and dad for not getting me an iPhone fuck you, FML
December 27, 2011 6:52 PM   Subscribe

Didn't get that Apple product you wanted for Christmas? Jonathan Mann, with the help of Twitter, composed a song for you: WTF?! I wanted an iPhone! If that doesn't quite rock your world, Mann composes and performs a song a day, so there ought to be something you like.
posted by desjardins (45 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Heh. This is pretty hilarious.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:59 PM on December 27, 2011


Relevant.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:11 PM on December 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


Those tweets were hilarious. And terrible. Read through them here to be dismayed by our society.
posted by stratastar at 7:11 PM on December 27, 2011


A coke, damnit!
posted by stratastar at 7:12 PM on December 27, 2011


Re: the tweets of ungrateful children, that whole thing made me feel a couple of things besides the standard "ugh those entitled assholes."

1) I am REAL GLAD twitter didn't exist when I was a young, entitled asshole.

2) While I don't appear to be friends with entitled assholes on twitter, I DO seem to be friends with a lot of people who are retweeting the whole "disappointed entitled asshole" phenomenon in a sort of gleeful orgy of self-congratulation, and I'm not really sure whether self-congratulatorily pointing out the materialistic entitlement of others is all that much better than being unselfconsciously materialistic.

I'm getting real good at this whole beanplating thing, goddamn.
posted by pts at 7:20 PM on December 27, 2011 [9 favorites]


A lot of those tweets were jokes by the people posting them, if you read their whole feeds.
posted by empath at 7:20 PM on December 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


Well, yeah. A lot of those tweets were posted from iPhones.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:23 PM on December 27, 2011


Sk8tboardlee26, for example has been celebrating christmas for the third year in a row without his family because he's deployed. He was being sarcastic about not being happy about presents he didn't even get.
posted by empath at 7:23 PM on December 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


So basically, the real story is that the internet hate machine gets rev'd up and takes down a bunch of easy targets that didn't deserve the scorn.
posted by empath at 7:26 PM on December 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


'Internet Hate Machine' is my favorite Nine Inch Nails album.
posted by box at 7:31 PM on December 27, 2011 [17 favorites]


Frustrated to see all the hate directed (mostly at young folks it seems). Who hasn't had the experience of being annoyed by gifts you did or didn't receive?

What's different seems to be 1) that they're sharing that feeling (which should be kept to themselves because of shame) and 2) that the thing they didn't get is expensive (? The cheapest is $100 w/ contract. Not that much these days for plenty of folks).

I even understand get people getting pissed because their parents bought them the wrong color. Ask your freakin' kid what color they want!
posted by wemayfreeze at 7:44 PM on December 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Since i just can't stop bringing it up in relation to this: Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe about Sweet 16(youtube)

One thing that has bugged me most about the commenters about the "i didn't get" people are the ones blaming Apple for it. No mention of the car people, or other products, but they feel it's okay to let their apple hate out.

He was being sarcastic

Since there isn't a way other than putting an emoticon or other mention that you are being sarcastic, it will always be taken as typed, especially if it's someone you don't know. He should have pointed that out, but for some reason didn't.
posted by usagizero at 7:46 PM on December 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hey while we're here, what's the deal with me being the 306th viewer and the "*LIKE* if you are the 306 viewer!!!" comment? I've seen it on a couple other 'Tubes. Counter broken?
posted by wemayfreeze at 7:46 PM on December 27, 2011


The funny thing is that while I can vividly remember the feeling of "hey, I wanted a different present!", I can't actually remember any of the things that in that moment I wanted so much. For all the intensity then, they were passing desires, not something particularly important in my life.
posted by Forktine at 7:51 PM on December 27, 2011


I think the view counter on YouTube only updates every 24 hours or something.
posted by desjardins at 7:52 PM on December 27, 2011


wait a minute...what's an iphone?
posted by sexyrobot at 7:54 PM on December 27, 2011


By the way, I remember crying because I didn't get Guess jeans for my birthday. Fortunately, the WWW didn't exist yet.
posted by desjardins at 7:55 PM on December 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


I wanted a Super Nintendo, but I got a Genesis. But now I can beat Altered Beast, so, y'know, water under the bridge.
posted by box at 8:00 PM on December 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


One year, my little brother wanted a Mitre soccer ball for his birthday, because all the cool, rich kids had a Mitre ball. When he bitched and moaned after my dad got him an Adidas ball, dad grabbed the soccer ball and a magic marker, crossed out the Adidas logo and wrote MITRE in big letters. Never underestimate the snark powers of a Welsh engineer.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:03 PM on December 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


wait a minute...what's an iphone?

The greatest thing since bacon scented lube.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:13 PM on December 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Note: I don't recommend combining the two.
posted by desjardins at 8:14 PM on December 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


I did the whole write-a-song-every-day thing for a year. Wish I'd thought of putting it on Twitter.
posted by daisystomper at 8:16 PM on December 27, 2011


Since there isn't a way other than putting an emoticon or other mention that you are being sarcastic, it will always be taken as typed, especially if it's someone you don't know. He should have pointed that out, but for some reason didn't.

Yeah, because he was writing a tweet to the, what, 20 people that follow him and didn't expect some random shit stirrer to make him look like the biggest asshole on the planet.
posted by empath at 8:33 PM on December 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


heh... this makes two Bennington alumni making the front page of Metafilter today... both in rather sad contexts, alas.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 8:36 PM on December 27, 2011


am i the only one who didn get and iPhone?!!!?
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:42 PM on December 27, 2011


Talk about entitled: I DID get an iPhone and I've been whining.

Because Siri hates me.

but seriously guys she doesn't understand a thing I ask her! *whimper*

posted by misha at 8:47 PM on December 27, 2011


then stop asking her for abortions.
posted by sexyrobot at 9:09 PM on December 27, 2011 [5 favorites]


I have to take the opportunity to plug my favorite Jonathan Mann song ever, "Hey Paul Krugman".
posted by jcreigh at 10:41 PM on December 27, 2011


Hey while we're here, what's the deal with me being the 306th viewer and the "*LIKE* if you are the 306 viewer!!!" comment? I've seen it on a couple other 'Tubes. Counter broken?

The view count isn't updated in real time. If it's 306 now, it probably will be for the next 24 hours.

There are probably exceptions for more popular videos, promoted videos, etc.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 10:59 PM on December 27, 2011


This iPhone, is that something I need a Zune to know about?
posted by elwoodwiles at 11:54 PM on December 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Just hold the Zune to your ear until it squirts. You'll learn everything you need to know.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:04 AM on December 28, 2011


Frustrated to see all the hate directed (mostly at young folks it seems)

I hate them because they're greedy little Danish kings. Their age has nothing to do with it.

What's different seems to be ... that the thing they didn't get is expensive (? The cheapest is $100 w/ contract. Not that much these days for plenty of folks).

I know you're proud of your ability to connect with 'folks' and all, but would you like to make a $10,000 bet you're wrong?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 12:14 AM on December 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


I better get them cha-cha heels.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:39 AM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Kevin Bloody Wilson comments proleptically... (NSFW)
posted by tigrefacile at 1:16 AM on December 28, 2011


Greedy little Danish king is my new insult to sling. Thanks!
posted by filthy light thief at 1:36 AM on December 28, 2011


... bacon scented lube...

For those days when you just have to squeal like a pig, boy.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:14 AM on December 28, 2011


box - I got a Sega Master System many years ago instead of the NES about which I'd been shamelessly dropping hints for months, so instead of Mario and Duck Hunt, I got Phantasy Star and Zillion. I still thank Sant... er, Dad for his wisdom.
posted by phong3d at 4:29 AM on December 28, 2011


(? The cheapest is $100 w/ contract. Not that much these days for plenty of folks)

Sure - - a $1200+ contract.
posted by fairmettle at 5:58 AM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well, I've seen surveys that indicate most young people are already using Twitter from a smartphone, so it's not a leap to think their parents could afford an iPhone if they can afford an HTC/Samsung whatever. We're talking about a specific demographic, not the general population, many of whom would see $100 as a huge hardship.
posted by desjardins at 6:35 AM on December 28, 2011


The cheapest is $100 w/ contract.

It's actually free with a contract.
posted by empath at 7:07 AM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


One year all I wanted for Christmas was a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time. I got it, and I shot my eye out. Be careful what you wish for, kids.
posted by entropicamericana at 7:43 AM on December 28, 2011


Well, thanks guys, now my poor ass feels like an entitled asshole too. I got a bloody nose* trying to keep a happy face as I opened my two gifts this year and got a stack of burnable cds I had already said I didn't need and a pair of fancy boots I already said I did NOT want. I wanted to cry "But I wanted an iPhone." The boots cost more than the iPhone. I don't need a pair of boots I can only wear about once a month - I'm disabled and often bedridden. I wanted a damn phone. It didn't have to be an iPhone, any phone is better than having no phone at all. (But I did really want a smart phone, at least.)

* This may be because it's 3rd year in a row bf bought me things I specifically said I don't like, don't want, or don't need. I'm going to start hating on things I actually want - maybe I'll get them then. At least, this year, I didn't get an expensive accessory to a tool I don't own.

Bf's 5 yo daughter tore through about 20 gifts this year, couldn't wait to get to the next. When all the gifts were opened, she looked around, burst into tears and cried, "But I wanted a bike." Feeling her pain and understanding her disappointment, I started crying with her. Luckily, her bike was in the other room. However, my phone was not.
posted by _paegan_ at 10:08 AM on December 28, 2011 [5 favorites]


If he won't listen, sell the boots or take them back.
posted by desjardins at 12:24 PM on December 28, 2011


If you're an adult, and you are dumb enough to want an iPhone, then buy yourself an iPhone. If you are a child, then learn to live with what you're given - it's character building.

/misanthrope
posted by mr. strange at 3:37 PM on December 28, 2011


We have wall mounted iPads in every bathroom in the house, and three in the master bath.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:14 PM on December 29, 2011


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