Masturbate frequently
January 2, 2012 11:42 AM   Subscribe

Top artists reveal how to find creative inspiration
posted by fearfulsymmetry (65 comments total) 30 users marked this as a favorite

 
The absence of "writers" is interesting. Here's one they could have included:

Haruki Murakami (writer)
Stepping into the darkness
Murakami leads an extremely disciplined life, which he discusses in a new nonfiction book, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (Knopf, 2008). At 59, he has run 27 marathons. His running balances out the rigor of his writing life, which involves going to bed each night by 10 p.m., then rising between 4 and 5 a.m. and sitting in the quiet, early morning to “wait to catch what’s coming.” His writing process requires “stepping into the darkness,” where he observes, remembers, and writes down what he sees.
posted by kneecapped at 12:33 PM on January 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


I get inspired by my mortgage, personally.
posted by jscalzi at 12:53 PM on January 2, 2012 [10 favorites]


For me, once I shifted to a more-professional writing lifestyle with deadlines and obligations that didn't permit me the luxury of mooning about waiting to be inspired, I didn't have a problem with inspiration. My problem is more the number of ideas I'd like to pursue and the lack of time I have to pursue them. The easiest and hardest part is just sitting down and grinding out the words.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 12:58 PM on January 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


I just steal stuff from metafilter
posted by The Whelk at 1:01 PM on January 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm a British comics writer - it's pretty much ranking over sigils or worshipping a sock.
posted by Artw at 2:03 PM on January 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


I just steal stuff from metafilter
posted by scrowdid at 2:34 PM on January 2, 2012 [7 favorites]


I just steal stuff from British comics writers on Metafilte - it's pretty much ranking over sigils or worshipping a sock.
posted by signal at 2:43 PM on January 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


I just steal stuff from Israeli comics writers on Metafiltefish.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 3:15 PM on January 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Patti Smith once said it would be impossible to create without masturbation.
posted by godugu at 3:17 PM on January 2, 2012


I say its impossible to steal stuff from Metafilter without masturbation.
posted by dejah420 at 4:03 PM on January 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


OOOHHH MYYYYY GGGOOOODDDDD! I just stole something from Metafilter!
posted by kneecapped at 4:41 PM on January 2, 2012


Patti Smith once said it would be impossible to create without masturbation.
posted by mikelieman at 5:11 PM on January 2, 2012


Pretend that no one's paying attention.

Actually, odds are in the end they won't anyway.
posted by dutcherino at 5:38 PM on January 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Inspiration is coming any moment now.
posted by azpenguin at 6:20 PM on January 2, 2012


Just ..give me a second and tug on my nipples.
posted by The Whelk at 6:32 PM on January 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Reveal yourself in your writing, especially the bits you don't like. - Lucy Prebble
Truer words...
posted by stoneweaver at 7:36 PM on January 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't think anything substantial of mine has come from masturbation.

Total agreement with Ghostride - I have to perform triage on my ideas and only develop the best, then only actually execute the best of THOSE. I still have too many things I wanna do and not enough time and energy to do them in.

A lot of them happen while I'm in the shower.
posted by egypturnash at 8:23 PM on January 2, 2012


I say its impossible to steal stuff from Metafilter without masturbation.

Is that what they're calling it these days?
posted by rhizome at 10:43 PM on January 2, 2012


Ideas are like fish

If there is one thing I've learned in 40 years it's that everybody does it differently. For every successful writer who declares that a strict schedule is essential there is another who only writes "when inspiration strikes."

tl:dr; Find what works for you and don't worry so much about other people or what they think. As Parr says at the end, you have to find your own inspiration yourself.

I'm with Rupert Goold here, even though I have no clue who he is. Hypnagogic sleep is a great source of wacky ideas. (I always come up with the weirdest rule changes for baseball.)
posted by mrgrimm at 12:30 PM on January 3, 2012


Patti Smith once said it would be impossible to create without masturbation.

Isn't it more about eliminating distractions? I always had to jerk off before writing most college papers. It's much easier to focus when you're not all "hey, cute girl."

Masturbation itself is usually pretty routine/familiar. I've had some sparks of inspiration jerking off, but I don't think it's a great source of it.

... reading about Patti, I'm not sure she ever said that, though the rumors were that she masturbated on stage...
posted by mrgrimm at 12:37 PM on January 3, 2012


Lucy Prebble's suggestions are my favorites, especially this:

Try not to give characters jobs that really only appear in plays; the deliberately idiosyncratic (eg "the guy who changes the posters on huge billboards at night") or the solipsistic (eg "writer").

This is also fantastic advice for fiction writers, and ESPECIALLY good advice for screenwriters.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:54 PM on January 3, 2012


Everyone in the movies is a goddamned architect
posted by The Whelk at 1:10 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


"The guy who changes the posters on huge billboards at night" seems like a great place to start for a story about someone who sees something really strange at night...
posted by Artw at 2:06 PM on January 3, 2012


Everyone in the movies is a goddamned architect

I run into tons of people who have trained as architects for whatever reason. Guess how many of them have ever had anything built...
posted by Artw at 2:07 PM on January 3, 2012


I like the depiction of chefs in Romance Porn, so sensual! So earthy! So refined! Certainly not ex con coke fiends making less than 20k a year!
posted by The Whelk at 2:14 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Someday someone will manage to create a weekly drama about a Doctor-Lawyer-Cop who falls in love with a vampire.
posted by The Whelk at 2:17 PM on January 3, 2012


I shall devote my life to architecture - THAT KILLS VAMPIRES.
posted by Artw at 2:18 PM on January 3, 2012


Churches?
posted by The Whelk at 2:19 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Cross shaped Anti-Drac MEGACHRUCHES that tower against the sky!
posted by Artw at 2:21 PM on January 3, 2012


Ah, I see you've been to Colerado.

No one in!ovies has an office job unless It Is Very zimportant That They Have An Office Job, and all charming main street stores are staffed by adorable white girls. All of them.

Anyone in the police is a beat cop, not a paper pusher or admin.

Private detectives don't spend all damned day on the computer.

Women over 30 are party planners ...and so busy!

All lawyers are employed at doing law and are trial lawyers.

All teachers teach high school.
posted by The Whelk at 2:26 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm trying to think of more but I got stuck on All Firemen Are Hunky, cause they are.

The canonical list of Jobs It's Okay For A Rom Com Heroine To Have pretty much begins and ends with " cupcake shop owner "
posted by The Whelk at 2:34 PM on January 3, 2012


Well, you know that the main reason I expend any effort on my job at all is that i am UPTIGHT and NEED TO RECONNECT WITH MY FAMILY. The flamethrowers, stake-launchers and moats of garlic puree I am obsessing with on my masterwork are just me trying to hide from that.
posted by Artw at 2:35 PM on January 3, 2012


You need to learn how to slow down and really savor the vampire killing. When it stop being your passion and just start to be a job?
posted by The Whelk at 2:39 PM on January 3, 2012


If you miss your kid's recital you are basically worse than Hilter.
posted by The Whelk at 2:41 PM on January 3, 2012


There should tiotally be a romcom about a massmurder who learns to take it down a notch and enjoy more perosnal, bespoke killings.
posted by Artw at 2:41 PM on January 3, 2012


It used to be about the slaughter, now it's all Corperate.
posted by The Whelk at 2:42 PM on January 3, 2012


There's a great scene where I punch my Blackwater style nutjob boss and he falls over backwards into the napalm pit.
posted by Artw at 2:43 PM on January 3, 2012


And then Smashmouth plays.
posted by The Whelk at 2:45 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


You need a free spirited young killer to show you the magic and whimsy in brutal massacre. A manic pixie dream murderer.
posted by The Whelk at 2:47 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


So there's people that say Dracula is all about sex, you know what that says to me? Perfect jumping off point for a Rom com - Drac and Mina want to get together, but psycho ex-boyfreind Harker tries to keep them apart! And what's this? It's the closet-load of undead hotties Drac keeps at his castle, and they're not going to take this lying down! (unless they are lying down doing a lot of writhing, etc... etc...) - pos. follow up in the vein of The Hangover II features trip to Malayasia and an encounter with a Penanggalan - that's going to take a lot of explaining for the naughty Count!
posted by Artw at 3:00 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Drac covered in blood over the body of a dead woman, Mina clucks her tounge and rolls her eyes " ohhh drac! "
posted by The Whelk at 3:04 PM on January 3, 2012


That Lucy is gonna be trouble!
posted by Artw at 3:04 PM on January 3, 2012


She's a refined lady of means who is unlucky in love!

He's a deathless abomination who is an afford to god!

Can these two crazy kids ever work it out?
posted by The Whelk at 3:05 PM on January 3, 2012


I think we just rewrote True Blood, actually.

Wait no one is naked yet.
posted by The Whelk at 3:06 PM on January 3, 2012


"But vich fork shud I yoose?"
"Oh, Drac..."
posted by Artw at 3:07 PM on January 3, 2012


Renfield is always wandering around, chasing ducks, peeing on things, upsetting this very proper and stuffy English family.

" It someone undead to teach me ....how to really live!"
posted by The Whelk at 3:10 PM on January 3, 2012


In the sequel he ends up with the penanggalan - unlikely second-teir character couple!
posted by Artw at 3:14 PM on January 3, 2012


That's Our Drac!
posted by The Whelk at 3:21 PM on January 3, 2012


Final pairings:

Drac/Mina - obvs.
Harker/Lucy - he learns to stop being such a jerk. Also the lady-dracs from teh catle turn up - hubba hubba!
Renfeld/penanggalan - unlikely couple!
posted by Artw at 3:26 PM on January 3, 2012


Are we vamping Lucy? She could be hilarious forward and direct! Silly woman acting like a man, how confusing to Harker!

We need a musical number to a song that the 30year olds in the audience will be nostgalic for but not too on the nose.
posted by The Whelk at 3:29 PM on January 3, 2012


Also everyone has an English accent, except for Mina who is played by Jennifer Aniston.
posted by The Whelk at 3:31 PM on January 3, 2012


When Dracula is initially defeated in love by not being invited in and has to mope around outside Mina's stately home in the rain he could sing Creep by Radiohead.
posted by Artw at 3:31 PM on January 3, 2012


Too moody, this is upbeat, power of positive thinking Drac along with trendy pop song over historical costume.

I 'm going with something by the Spice Girls.
posted by The Whelk at 3:35 PM on January 3, 2012


Well, Alvin and the Chipmonks - The Squeakwell already took Single Ladies or I'd be going for that.
posted by Artw at 3:37 PM on January 3, 2012


Mina's empowerment scene to go against her family and see the Count will be set to Lisa Loeb's I do.
posted by The Whelk at 3:41 PM on January 3, 2012


We also need some Shania Twain up in here.
posted by The Whelk at 3:43 PM on January 3, 2012


Poster tag line " do you belive in love ...after life?"
posted by The Whelk at 3:44 PM on January 3, 2012


Gah! It's so obvious i don;t know how I missed it - Lady Gaga, Bad Romance!
posted by Artw at 4:11 PM on January 3, 2012


(Also I'm still going to go with Creep for that one scene, but, get this, IT'S A COVER! So, Coldplayer, or if we could stretch to it - Bono! )
posted by Artw at 4:12 PM on January 3, 2012


Believe it or not, I actually watched Adaptation just last night.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 4:29 PM on January 3, 2012


We're all seeing this as a Ben Stiller role, right?
posted by Artw at 4:41 PM on January 3, 2012


He's got no pull as a love interest and he's getting on in years, you need a broody hunk but not too young, Russel Crowe fifteen years ago basically.

Mina - Jennifer Aniston or her current non union equivalent
Drac - Gerald Bulter in pancake makeup.
Lucy - Emma Stone for the " does surprisingly well given the material " slot.
Renfield - Any Physical Comdeidan With No Shame.
Harker - Justin Timberlake cause why not

You can throw in Clive Owen and Reece Witherspoon as parents or something as they are legally required to be in These Movies.
posted by The Whelk at 5:27 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Bad Romance number has to be during a big fancy ball that descends into a stylized dance number that seems lifted from a completely different movie cause the directed us a frustrated musical fan.
posted by The Whelk at 6:37 PM on January 3, 2012


You could do Bad Romance with a lot of black and red and Gaga would probably get right on board. Hell, make her a vampire.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:07 PM on January 3, 2012


What do you mean make?
posted by The Whelk at 9:40 PM on January 3, 2012


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