Comments on: Masturbate frequently

Masturbate frequently

fearfulsymmetry — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 11:42:35 -0800

Top artists reveal how to find creative inspiration

By: kneecapped

kneecapped — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 12:33:12 -0800

The absence of "writers" is interesting. Here's one they could have included: Haruki Murakami (writer) Stepping into the darkness Murakami leads an extremely disciplined life, which he discusses in a new nonfiction book, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (Knopf, 2008). At 59, he has run 27 marathons. His running balances out the rigor of his writing life, which involves going to bed each night by 10 p.m., then rising between 4 and 5 a.m. and sitting in the quiet, early morning to "wait to catch what's coming." His writing process requires "stepping into the darkness," where he observes, remembers, and writes down what he sees.

By: jscalzi

jscalzi — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 12:53:35 -0800

I get inspired by my mortgage, personally.

By: Ghostride The Whip

Ghostride The Whip — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 12:58:55 -0800

For me, once I shifted to a more-professional writing lifestyle with deadlines and obligations that didn't permit me the luxury of mooning about waiting to be inspired, I didn't have a problem with inspiration. My problem is more the number of ideas I'd like to pursue and the lack of time I have to pursue them. The easiest and hardest part is just sitting down and grinding out the words.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 13:01:17 -0800

I just steal stuff from metafilter

By: Artw

Artw — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 14:03:11 -0800

I'm a British comics writer - it's pretty much ranking over sigils or worshipping a sock.

By: scrowdid

scrowdid — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 14:34:55 -0800

I just steal stuff from metafilter

By: signal

signal — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 14:43:33 -0800

I just steal stuff from British comics writers on Metafilte - it's pretty much ranking over sigils or worshipping a sock.

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 15:15:26 -0800

I just steal stuff from Israeli comics writers on Metafiltefish.

By: godugu

godugu — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 15:17:16 -0800

Patti Smith once said it would be impossible to create without masturbation.

By: dejah420

dejah420 — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 16:03:34 -0800

I say its impossible to steal stuff from Metafilter without masturbation.

By: kneecapped

kneecapped — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 16:41:53 -0800

OOOHHH MYYYYY GGGOOOODDDDD! I just stole something from Metafilter!

By: mikelieman

mikelieman — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 17:11:39 -0800

Patti Smith once said it would be impossible to create without masturbation.

By: dutcherino

dutcherino — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 17:38:02 -0800

Pretend that no one's paying attention. Actually, odds are in the end they won't anyway.

By: azpenguin

azpenguin — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 18:20:02 -0800

Inspiration is coming any moment now.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 18:32:41 -0800

Just ..give me a second and tug on my nipples.

By: stoneweaver

stoneweaver — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 19:36:48 -0800

Reveal yourself in your writing, especially the bits you don't like. - Lucy Prebble Truer words...

By: egypturnash

egypturnash — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 20:23:54 -0800

I don't think anything substantial of mine has come from masturbation. Total agreement with Ghostride - I have to perform triage on my ideas and only develop the best, then only actually execute the best of THOSE. I still have too many things I wanna do and not enough time and energy to do them in. A lot of them happen while I'm in the shower.

By: rhizome

rhizome — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 22:43:27 -0800

I say its impossible to steal stuff from Metafilter without masturbation. Is that what they're calling it these days?

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 12:30:31 -0800

Ideas are like fish If there is one thing I've learned in 40 years it's that everybody does it differently. For every successful writer who declares that a strict schedule is essential there is another who only writes "when inspiration strikes." tl:dr; Find what works for you and don't worry so much about other people or what they think. As Parr says at the end, you have to find your own inspiration yourself. I'm with Rupert Goold here, even though I have no clue who he is. Hypnagogic sleep is a great source of wacky ideas. (I always come up with the weirdest rule changes for baseball.)

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 12:37:18 -0800

Patti Smith once said it would be impossible to create without masturbation. Isn't it more about eliminating distractions? I always had to jerk off before writing most college papers. It's much easier to focus when you're not all "hey, cute girl." Masturbation itself is usually pretty routine/familiar. I've had some sparks of inspiration jerking off, but I don't think it's a great source of it. ... reading about Patti, I'm not sure she ever said that, though the rumors were that she masturbated on stage...

By: Lentrohamsanin

Lentrohamsanin — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 12:54:02 -0800

Lucy Prebble's suggestions are my favorites, especially this: Try not to give characters jobs that really only appear in plays; the deliberately idiosyncratic (eg "the guy who changes the posters on huge billboards at night") or the solipsistic (eg "writer"). This is also fantastic advice for fiction writers, and ESPECIALLY good advice for screenwriters.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 13:10:53 -0800

Everyone in the movies is a goddamned architect

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:06:44 -0800

"The guy who changes the posters on huge billboards at night" seems like a great place to start for a story about someone who sees something really strange at night...

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:07:34 -0800

Everyone in the movies is a goddamned architect I run into tons of people who have trained as architects for whatever reason. Guess how many of them have ever had anything built...

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:14:46 -0800

I like the depiction of chefs in Romance Porn, so sensual! So earthy! So refined! Certainly not ex con coke fiends making less than 20k a year!

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:17:02 -0800

Someday someone will manage to create a weekly drama about a Doctor-Lawyer-Cop who falls in love with a vampire.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:18:14 -0800

I shall devote my life to architecture - THAT KILLS VAMPIRES.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:19:54 -0800

Churches?

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:21:40 -0800

Cross shaped Anti-Drac MEGACHRUCHES that tower against the sky!

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:26:22 -0800

Ah, I see you've been to Colerado. No one in!ovies has an office job unless It Is Very zimportant That They Have An Office Job, and all charming main street stores are staffed by adorable white girls. All of them. Anyone in the police is a beat cop, not a paper pusher or admin. Private detectives don't spend all damned day on the computer. Women over 30 are party planners ...and so busy! All lawyers are employed at doing law and are trial lawyers. All teachers teach high school.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:34:58 -0800

I'm trying to think of more but I got stuck on All Firemen Are Hunky, cause they are. The canonical list of Jobs It's Okay For A Rom Com Heroine To Have pretty much begins and ends with " cupcake shop owner "

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:35:38 -0800

Well, you know that the main reason I expend any effort on my job at all is that i am UPTIGHT and NEED TO RECONNECT WITH MY FAMILY. The flamethrowers, stake-launchers and moats of garlic puree I am obsessing with on my masterwork are just me trying to hide from that.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:39:57 -0800

You need to learn how to slow down and really savor the vampire killing. When it stop being your passion and just start to be a job?

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:41:37 -0800

If you miss your kid's recital you are basically worse than Hilter.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:41:46 -0800

There should tiotally be a romcom about a massmurder who learns to take it down a notch and enjoy more perosnal, bespoke killings.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:42:46 -0800

It used to be about the slaughter, now it's all Corperate.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:43:54 -0800

There's a great scene where I punch my Blackwater style nutjob boss and he falls over backwards into the napalm pit.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:45:59 -0800

And then Smashmouth plays.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:47:20 -0800

You need a free spirited young killer to show you the magic and whimsy in brutal massacre. A manic pixie dream murderer.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:00:03 -0800

So there's people that say Dracula is all about sex, you know what that says to me? Perfect jumping off point for a Rom com - Drac and Mina want to get together, but psycho ex-boyfreind Harker tries to keep them apart! And what's this? It's the closet-load of undead hotties Drac keeps at his castle, and they're not going to take this lying down! (unless they are lying down doing a lot of writhing, etc... etc...) - pos. follow up in the vein of The Hangover II features trip to Malayasia and an encounter with a Penanggalan - that's going to take a lot of explaining for the naughty Count!

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:04:05 -0800

Drac covered in blood over the body of a dead woman, Mina clucks her tounge and rolls her eyes " ohhh drac! "

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:04:47 -0800

That Lucy is gonna be trouble!

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:05:29 -0800

She's a refined lady of means who is unlucky in love! He's a deathless abomination who is an afford to god! Can these two crazy kids ever work it out?

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:06:15 -0800

I think we just rewrote True Blood, actually. Wait no one is naked yet.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:07:32 -0800

"But vich fork shud I yoose?" "Oh, Drac..."

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:10:26 -0800

Renfield is always wandering around, chasing ducks, peeing on things, upsetting this very proper and stuffy English family. " It someone undead to teach me ....how to really live!"

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:14:14 -0800

In the sequel he ends up with the penanggalan - unlikely second-teir character couple!

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:21:34 -0800

That's Our Drac!

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:26:36 -0800

Final pairings: Drac/Mina - obvs. Harker/Lucy - he learns to stop being such a jerk. Also the lady-dracs from teh catle turn up - hubba hubba! Renfeld/penanggalan - unlikely couple!

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:29:42 -0800

Are we vamping Lucy? She could be hilarious forward and direct! Silly woman acting like a man, how confusing to Harker! We need a musical number to a song that the 30year olds in the audience will be nostgalic for but not too on the nose.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:31:05 -0800

Also everyone has an English accent, except for Mina who is played by Jennifer Aniston.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:31:52 -0800

When Dracula is initially defeated in love by not being invited in and has to mope around outside Mina's stately home in the rain he could sing Creep by Radiohead.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:35:22 -0800

Too moody, this is upbeat, power of positive thinking Drac along with trendy pop song over historical costume. I 'm going with something by the Spice Girls.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:37:55 -0800

Well, Alvin and the Chipmonks - The Squeakwell already took Single Ladies or I'd be going for that.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:41:38 -0800

Mina's empowerment scene to go against her family and see the Count will be set to Lisa Loeb's I do.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:43:27 -0800

We also need some Shania Twain up in here.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:44:59 -0800

Poster tag line " do you belive in love ...after life?"

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:11:06 -0800

Gah! It's so obvious i don;t know how I missed it - Lady Gaga, Bad Romance!

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:12:41 -0800

(Also I'm still going to go with Creep for that one scene, but, get this, IT'S A COVER! So, Coldplayer, or if we could stretch to it - Bono! )

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:29:20 -0800

Believe it or not, I actually watched Adaptation just last night.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:41:16 -0800

We're all seeing this as a Ben Stiller role, right?

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:27:16 -0800

He's got no pull as a love interest and he's getting on in years, you need a broody hunk but not too young, Russel Crowe fifteen years ago basically. Mina - Jennifer Aniston or her current non union equivalent Drac - Gerald Bulter in pancake makeup. Lucy - Emma Stone for the " does surprisingly well given the material " slot. Renfield - Any Physical Comdeidan With No Shame. Harker - Justin Timberlake cause why not You can throw in Clive Owen and Reece Witherspoon as parents or something as they are legally required to be in These Movies.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 18:37:35 -0800

The Bad Romance number has to be during a big fancy ball that descends into a stylized dance number that seems lifted from a completely different movie cause the directed us a frustrated musical fan.

By: Ghostride The Whip

Ghostride The Whip — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:07:27 -0800

You could do Bad Romance with a lot of black and red and Gaga would probably get right on board. Hell, make her a vampire.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:40:21 -0800

What do you mean make?