Warning, this may make you want a pet goat
January 3, 2012 2:23 PM   Subscribe


 
The Internet has conditioned me to not click on any link starting with " goat"
posted by The Whelk at 2:28 PM on January 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


Who keeps a pet goat and calls it anything but goatse?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:29 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


You know, it would be easier to surf if he killed that goat, and had a taxidermist permanently mount it to the surfboard. I guess then it would technically be a goatboard.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:34 PM on January 3, 2012


Sea-goat. Multiple sea-goats would make it the goat sea.
posted by tumid dahlia at 2:38 PM on January 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Who keeps a pet goat and calls it anything but goatse?

My Pet Goatse?
posted by Confess, Fletch at 2:38 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


codacorolla, you just made my 2012. Thank you.
posted by juliplease at 2:41 PM on January 3, 2012


Goatee: Oh my God, what is that man doing to his Capra aegagrus hircus!?
posted by codacorolla at 2:45 PM on January 3, 2012


Comic Sans!
posted by empatterson at 2:51 PM on January 3, 2012


Adorable!

I just noticed that Goatee is owned by or has some sort of association with FLO Soccer Ministries, whose mission "is to share the Love of Jesus through soccer!"

I have to give them credit for going with non-obvious witnessing techniques. It's like they came up with their organization through a game of Mad Libs.
posted by brundlefly at 2:54 PM on January 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


Notice how they try to frame Goatee's escape attempt as a fun run on the beach?
posted by orme at 3:15 PM on January 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


I like how he's dressed like a pimp when he takes Goatee out in the crowds at night.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:18 PM on January 3, 2012


Burhanistan: You know, it would be easier to surf if he killed that goat, and had a taxidermist permanently mount it to the surfboard.

Plus, post-surfing Beach BBQ Party! WOOOOO!!
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:25 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Greg_Ace, that sounds like a job for CHUCK TESTA.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:29 PM on January 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


The more that I think about it, the more I'm convinced that every clique and social group would do well to have a goatboard. You could even put hinges on a cut-out section and then use it as a storage locker or ice chest.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:31 PM on January 3, 2012


'Tis a fine goat, English. But 'tis surely no surfing dog (site).
posted by bpm140 at 3:38 PM on January 3, 2012


This may be a tragic example of the dangers of individual goat ownership. They're actually very emotionally needy creatures and, in the absence of other goats herd with, will glom on to their owner with a desperate, cloying intensity that would be aggressively medicated against were such behaviour to manifest in a human.

Pretty soon you can't even go surfing without the deranged beast nestled in your crotch, lest it have a histrionic breakdown and give sour milk until you consent to go with it to couples therapy four times a week.
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 3:41 PM on January 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Goat love.
posted by cjorgensen at 3:54 PM on January 3, 2012


I love how surfer dude is holding back on goat collar with all his might, both knowing that he'll CHARGE if given the chance. All the while, pet goat is thinking in his little goat head, "WHAT THE FUUUU AM I DOING IN THE OCEAN. LET ME GO. BAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
posted by iamkimiam at 4:08 PM on January 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


"Pretty soon you can't even go surfing without the deranged beast nestled in your crotch, lest it have a histrionic breakdown and give sour milk until you consent to go with it to couples therapy four times a week."

Or, you know, surfing.
posted by iamkimiam at 4:09 PM on January 3, 2012


I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed that Goatee's surfing beach is only a few miles from me. But Grover Beach has long been suffering from an inferiority complex with its neighbor Pismo Beach having the Famous Clams, the Monarch Butterflies and the classic Bugs Bunny cartoon. The town should just go ahead and make an endorsement deal with the Sesame Street Muppet of the same name. (Since everyone who passes through the first time always asks if they're related)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:15 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also... Related News (via Dave Barry's Always Uninformative Blog which sent it to my RSS reader right after this post - coincidence?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:22 PM on January 3, 2012


The goat just wants a nice field to romp in with some other goats. The bike rides are fun but really, beaches are for EATING BEACH GRASSES not some silliness with surf boards. It wants off the surfboard.

I do not think introducing them to the world in which the celaphopods live is such a great idea. They'll start talking.
posted by Salmonberry at 4:32 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Or, you know, surfing.

Grammar not work good. I was being suckled at all night.
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 4:46 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Your grammar is fine; I was suggesting listening to your goat and going surfing when it demands. As couples therapy. 4x/week may not be enough, however. Therefore I'd recommend supplementing the week with solo sessions.
posted by iamkimiam at 5:24 PM on January 3, 2012


There's a man who really loves his goat.
posted by ironjelly at 7:30 PM on January 3, 2012


"Hey, look at me forcing my pet to do things he really doesn't enjoy! Plus, it's kinda dangerous! Whee!"

Goatee should head-butt the fuck outta that guy.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:37 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh fer crapssake, people! It's pretty damned obvious this is a thinly disguised attempt to recruit new members for NAMGLA. No butts about it.
posted by Mike D at 9:24 PM on January 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Hey, look at me forcing my pet to do things he really doesn't enjoy! Plus, it's kinda dangerous! Whee!"

Yeah. It looks really stressed when it's standing on the surfboard while occasionally drinking from the water. People like doing stuff with their pets. The fuckers!
posted by howfar at 11:22 PM on January 3, 2012


It occurs to me that I wouldn't know a happy goat if I saw one. I kept wondering if the goat here was really into it, or was just kind of sitting there being a goat, trying to keep his foothold as the world happened around it. As if "goat" isn't just an animal, but a state of being.

"How was that goat feeling?"

"He seemed pretty goat. The usual."
posted by bicyclefish at 12:12 AM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]


I just noticed that Goatee is owned by or has some sort of association with FLO Soccer Ministries, whose mission "is to share the Love of Jesus through soccer!"

I, for one, would not have watched that video and thought, hey a beautifully lit video of two guys at Pismo Beach on their tandem bike towing their pet goat, I totally bet those two guys are religious missionaries.

As for the goat my experience with goats is that they do what they want and if you try to make them do anything else they just trample the shit out of everything until you stop. So I'm guessing the goat is pretty into it.
posted by fshgrl at 12:29 AM on January 4, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is a parody, right? It's hard to take it seriously if you have your speakers on.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:43 AM on January 4, 2012


A parody of what?
posted by iamkimiam at 1:06 AM on January 4, 2012


I don't know, people who love goats maybe? The presentation is way overdone, and the soundtrack choice just kills it.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:08 AM on January 4, 2012


Hey, look at me forcing my pet to do things he really doesn't enjoy!

It has been my experience with goats that if they don't want to do something, they let you know. I certainly wouldn't want to be behind a goat, like that guy was, if I were forcing it to do something it didn't like.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 4:50 AM on January 4, 2012


Hang two, dude.
posted by IndigoJones at 10:31 AM on January 4, 2012


So what were you doing behind this goat to develop this experience?
posted by howfar at 11:09 AM on January 4, 2012






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