Comments on: RIP Shrek the Sheep (1994-2011)

RIP Shrek the Sheep (1994-2011)

juliplease — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 14:15:58 -0800

Shrek the sheep taught us all that if you really, really don't want to do something, you don't have to.

RIP Shrek the Sheep (1994-2011)

(Disclaimer: The Deadspin article makes its own unfunny sheep sex joke so we don't have to, and I apologize on its behalf.)

By: desjardins

desjardins — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 14:20:01 -0800

Isn't Deadspin a sports blog?

By: latkes

latkes — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 14:21:18 -0800

Sheep shearing is actually a competitive sport.

By: Kerasia

Kerasia — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 14:22:12 -0800

(Disclaimer: The Deadspin article makes its own unfunny sheep sex joke so we don't have to, and I apologize on its behalf.)

Oh, you mean this one?

Being the most famous sheep in New Zealand is like being a supermodel in America...

I quite liked it.

By: davidmsc

davidmsc — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 14:26:34 -0800

some of comments are Damn funny. rip you fluffy rebellious sheep.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 14:27:56 -0800

Shrek was put down this year I suspect he really, really didn't want to do this, and yet... Perhaps the real moral is "if you are a rebel, they will capture you, parade you through the country, make you conform, use you for a few more years, and, once attention has died down, it's a bullet in the back of the head behind the chemical shed."

By: Dasein

Dasein — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 14:36:43 -0800

Billions of generations have come and gone, and most are meaningless for the purposes of the living if we can't take some sort of lesson from their brief time on earth. Either this author has a seriously shaky grasp of evolutionary history, or he's talking about something other than humans here.

By: argonauta

argonauta — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 14:45:16 -0800

May he rest in fleece.

By: codacorolla

codacorolla — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:03:39 -0800

Oh, sure, can't wait to read the pages and pages eulogizing this useless piece of shit. I'm sure people are going to come in and offer a few lame equivocations about 'uh, um, well, you should ignore the bad stuff, but he really wasn't that ba-" no. Fuck that. Fuck Shrek. He was a bastard. A role model to flaccid intellectualism across the planet, proving that you need neither wit nor scruples to succeed in this fuckshit world. Shrek is the reason that we're in so many of the pickles that we're currently in, and I will be GOD damned if I'm going to let him be celebrated as a hero after his death. I'm happy he's dead, and I refuse to be sheepish about it.

By: Mr.Encyclopedia

Mr.Encyclopedia — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:12:09 -0800

By: orange swan

orange swan — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:13:40 -0800

Wool ewe stop with the sheep jokes!

By: bright ideas for a cheery christmas

bright ideas for a cheery christmas — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:22:20 -0800

There are 10 sheep for every New Zealander,¹ they shouldn't need to shear them.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:23:14 -0800

Ode to Shrek Maybe we didn't shear you Quite as often as we could have. Maybe you didn't breed ewes Quite as often as you should have If your fleece was overlarge And left you in a bind You were always in the barn You were always in the barn Tell me Tell me that your sheep love hasn't died And give us Give us one more chance to get your wool sheared and dyed Sheared and dyed Little things we should have spun and wove We just never took the time You were always in the barn You were always in the barn

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:25:30 -0800

Before: O After: .

By: TheRedArmy

TheRedArmy — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:27:35 -0800

Shrek the sheep! Boy could that sheep turn a circle in to a period!

By: One Thousand and One

One Thousand and One — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:28:51 -0800

Being the most famous sheep in New Zealand is like being a supermodel in America: half the country wants to fuck you. after reading that I heard a clap in my head like barry petchesky was right here in the room with me, high-fiving himself

By: halonine

halonine — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:30:19 -0800

By: localroger

localroger — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:31:55 -0800

By: HMSSM

HMSSM — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:31:56 -0800

I don't get it. The picture immediately following this sentence, "If Shrek didn't want his wool shorn, then goddamnit, nobody was going to shear Shrek's wool," is a picture of Shrek after having been shorn. "Shrek the sheep taught us all that if you really, really don't want to do something, you don't have to." No, Shrek taught us that if you really don't want to do something, people will hunt you down and force you to do it anyway. An I missing something?

By: Partario

Partario — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:35:06 -0800

why are you all so cynical??

By: zarq

zarq — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:48:50 -0800

His first shearing yielded 60 pounds of fleece? Wow.

By: ook

ook — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:57:01 -0800

Maybe shrek wasn't so much a rebel as a dope whose sense of direction was so bad it took him six years to find his way out of a cave

By: codacorolla

codacorolla — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:57:43 -0800

Also: is that much fleece specific to domesticated sheep? It doesn't seem like growing 60 pounds of something sans human trimming would be very conducive to survival.

By: Devonian

Devonian — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 16:05:02 -0800

If you don't want to do something, you don't have to do it. The triumph of the wool.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 16:26:21 -0800

why are you all so cynical?? Just a bunch of haters, I'm afraid. Flock us and move on.

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 16:29:22 -0800

I don't get it. Why would anyone want to fuck a boy sheep? That's just wrong.

By: schroedinger

schroedinger — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 17:56:22 -0800

Shrek the sheep taught us all that if you really, really don't want to do something, you don't have to. Instead, they will pin you down and make you do it on national television. The indignity!

By: orange swan

orange swan — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:30:31 -0800

If you're a sheep, no matter what you do it's all mutton in the end.

By: kalimac

kalimac — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:31:01 -0800

Also: is that much fleece specific to domesticated sheep? It doesn't seem like growing 60 pounds of something sans human trimming would be very conducive to survival. You're absolutely right -- because the only sheep out there are domesticated sheep. They've stopped naturally shedding, and have to be shorn, now. (By 'now' I mean in the last couple thousand years or something like that.)

By: 0rison

0rison — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:34:55 -0800

This news item is an apt companion to Pixar's dreadful Boundin', [video, prefaced by advertisement] which instructs us to get fleeced, and love it. Get your head in the right place!

By: codacorolla

codacorolla — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:49:07 -0800

You're absolutely right -- because the only sheep out there are domesticated sheep. They've stopped naturally shedding, and have to be shorn, now. (By 'now' I mean in the last couple thousand years or something like that.) What? This is a weird thing to be obtuse and aggressive about. That's why I specified domesticated sheep, which are a different thing than wild sheep. I would assume that domesticated sheep were bred for growing a shitload of hair, evidenced by the animal in the OP having sixty fucking pounds of it when he wasn't getting haircuts on the regular. But I'm not really sure. Hence why I asked a question, and didn't make a statement of fact as you seem to have strangely assumed.

By: Gator

Gator — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:02:53 -0800

I am happy that this is a post on MetaFilter.

By: BlueHorse

BlueHorse — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 20:01:59 -0800

Also: is that much fleece specific to domesticated sheep? It doesn't seem like growing 60 pounds of something sans human trimming would be very conducive to survival. Yup, we've bred an animal for high quality and quantity of wool production, to be sheared every year, at minimum, just like we've bred cattle with double muscling that can't travel to natural grass and water, dogs that need regular vet care to be able to breath and walk, and horses that need teeth floating because their jaws are too small for their 'pretty' little heads. Shearing is one of the least of different species problems, although sheep do get nasty skin infections if their coats are not taken care of. (and I'll bet when it rained, that stuff Shrek carried STUNK!)

By: bleep

bleep — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 21:35:06 -0800

When reached for comment, Shrek's herd said "Meh." Also: Shortly after his capture Shrek was sheared on live TV, and two and a half years later shorn again on an iceberg floating off the coast of Dunedin Um, what? Do they do a lot of sheep-shearing on floating icebergs?

By: John Shaft

John Shaft — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 22:26:56 -0800

He was helicoptered out to the iceberg as a publicity stunt for Icebreaker. He was a merino sheep; they make clothes from merino wool. It made sense at the time.

By: 0rison

0rison — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 23:51:00 -0800

See the merino standing there with his long, shaggy hair See thumber Enos standing there with his long shaggy hair See the merino, Stan Ding, there, with his long shaggy hair See the merino standing! Therewith, his long shaggy hair See the merino standing there with his long shaggy hayer See the merino standing there with his long, shaggy Eire etc.

By: Sparx

Sparx — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 01:05:58 -0800

And the sign said long-haired freaky sheeple...need not apply

By: Segundus

Segundus — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 01:15:03 -0800

Historically the wool was what you kept sheep for, with the meat a welcome by-product: but I believe (? in the UK anyway) it's now more commonly about meat with the wool a minor factor, or even a profitless irritation. New (or rather old) breeds that don't need shearing are looking interesting again.

By: The Wig

The Wig — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 04:27:08 -0800

(Disclaimer: The Deadspin article makes its own unfunny sheep sex joke so we don't have to, and I apologize on its behalf.) I thought the joke was that half the inhabitants of new Zealand are other sheep.

By: kalimac

kalimac — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 06:23:33 -0800

What? This is a weird thing to be obtuse and aggressive about. That's why I specified domesticated sheep, which are a different thing than wild sheep. I would assume that domesticated sheep were bred for growing a shitload of hair, evidenced by the animal in the OP having sixty fucking pounds of it when he wasn't getting haircuts on the regular. But I'm not really sure. Hence why I asked a question, and didn't make a statement of fact as you seem to have strangely assumed. Ergh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way at all, I promise; I'd had a ridiculously long, hard day and wasn't feeling particularly prolix, and it all came out short and badly-written, with overtones I truly didn't mean to convey. I think what I was trying to say is what I hope is an answer to your question: that there aren't any wild sheep anymore, and the domesticated ones are bred specifically to keep growing their hair, and thus require regular haircuts. Basically, sheep no longer shed, and they need humans to keep 'em from winding up with sixty lbs of hair. Also, I promise to not post on metafilter when I'm half asleep anymore.

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 08:59:44 -0800

Baa-rtleby

By: bleep

bleep — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 09:54:00 -0800

"He was helicoptered out to the iceberg as a publicity stunt for Icebreaker. He was a merino sheep; they make clothes from merino wool. It made sense at the time. posted by John Shaft" The only parts of this I understand are "helicoptered out" "publicity stunt" and "it made sense at the time".

By: ErikaB

ErikaB — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 12:07:42 -0800

kalimac is right, fundamentally there's no such thing as a non-domesticated sheep. Sheep as we know them were bred from wild animals like the mouflon. There are other ovids like Dall sheep and Bighorn sheep but SHEEP sheep are an entirely human creation. In much the same way that there are other canids, but dogs are a human creation. (Dogs and sheep are the two earliest domesticated animals.) As for shearing, there are still a few extremely primitive heritage breeds. These shed their coats twice a year, and have to be plucked. But over the last few thousand years, we have bred out the ability to shed, while at the same time bumping up the amount of fleece each animal can produce. The merino in particular has been bred to produce truly staggering amounts of high-quality fleece. In exchange for which, we have to shear it once a year or so, lest the animal begin to suffer. In order to produce all that fleece, they have loose skin that falls in folds like a shar pei dog. If left untended, the fleece mats up and can cause the skin folds to chafe and pull. Not to mention having all that weight pulling down on your skin. I can't imagine how uncomfortable Shrek was, after the first year or two. The silly stubborn creature. A merino sheep is just as human-created and rarified as a chihuahua or a persian cat. Surviving on its own without human intervention really was an impressive accomplishment.

By: Sonny Jim

Sonny Jim — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 14:01:00 -0800

Of course, there is a theory that this happened a long time ago. [Warning. Satire. Contains Jeremy Wells and actual death.]