Sometimes state quarters forgot to Put a Bird On It.

January 12, 2012 8:54 AM

Sometimes state quarters know you only invited them because you thought they were San Francisco. (Previously.)
posted by NickDouglas (37 comments total)

Hey, what was RI supposed to go with? "One Corner of the Triangle Trade?" "Not as Much Organized Crime as We Once Had?" "Making You Feel Good about the Honesty and Efficiency of Your State Government?" A sailboat and a bridge; it's what RI's got to work with, OK?
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:59 AM on January 12 [9 favorites]

See, if the person that wrote that was a high schooler in North Carolina when the state quarters came out, North Carolinas would read: Sometimes state quarters get hoarded by easily misled high schoolers because they say "First Flight" when the license plates all say "First in Flight" and people t hink that's an error that's going to make them valuable in the future.

Okay, so it was less pithy.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:59 AM on January 12 [1 favorite]

Yes yes yes!
posted by robstercraw at 9:00 AM on January 12

Better than a giant scary owl. Oh Canada...
posted by Fizz at 9:02 AM on January 12 [2 favorites]

These were surprisingly good.
posted by yoink at 9:05 AM on January 12

Don't mess with Connecticut's Charter Oak. That there tree's a big deal.

(And "hey, we're descended from the guy that stuck the state charter in a tree" is the only notoriety my family was able to get when I was a kid.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:06 AM on January 12 [2 favorites]

Oh Canada...

You aren't kidding! That owl is bigger than a polar bear! Forget Texas, Do Not Mess with Canada!
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:08 AM on January 12

Fizz: Better than a giant scary owl. Oh Canada...

At least you know he's cool, because he's down with Lord Quas (seriously, is that supposed to be a bear behind the owl?)
posted by filthy light thief at 9:10 AM on January 12

Quas is just Cerebus's burnout brother.
posted by NickDouglas at 9:13 AM on January 12

Calli:

The oak was blown down in a violent storm about 150 years later and made into a chair...

Wikipedia has a talent for making respectable things sound dorky.
posted by NickDouglas at 9:14 AM on January 12

New York toned it down a bit because we didn't want to make yous guys feel bad. If you are going to be dicks about it we will put the rest of our awesome shit on the next quarter.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:17 AM on January 12 [1 favorite]

Is the Braille on the Alabama / Helen Keller quarter actually finger-readable? Seems like it would be far too small.
posted by oulipian at 9:20 AM on January 12

Well, I guess I give them points for trying really hard to find humor there.
posted by empath at 9:24 AM on January 12

"The oak was blown down in a violent storm about 150 years later and made into a chair..." Wikipedia has a talent for making respectable things sound dorky.

Nah, it's Connecticut that has that effect.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:26 AM on January 12 [1 favorite]

Nah, it's Connecticut that has that effect.

To be fair, living with a nickname ("Nutmegger") that sounds like a playground insult will do that to you....
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:29 AM on January 12

To be fair, living with a nickname ("Nutmegger") that sounds like a playground insult will do that to you....

Sounds more like a deviant sexual act. You know like "the Dirty Sanchez" or something.
posted by Fizz at 9:46 AM on January 12 [4 favorites]

I always think, when I see a North Carolina license plate or quarter, that most of the Wright Brother's work was in Ohio. So, it really should read "We Have Windy Beaches."
posted by MrGuilt at 9:46 AM on January 12 [5 favorites]

A sailboat and a bridge; it's what RI's got to work with, OK?

I would have gone with a Don Bousquet cartoon.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:48 AM on January 12

Hey, what was RI supposed to go with?

Birthplace of Lovecraftian horror?
posted by JoanArkham at 9:50 AM on January 12 [3 favorites]

"Sometimes state quarters are just so Vermont."

Look, you just can't make fun of Vermont. There's nothing more to say. Boo-yah.

(I really like both VT's flag and quarter, so I am fine with the Hairpin's inability to mock them properly.)
posted by maryr at 9:54 AM on January 12 [1 favorite]

Also, yes, the scene depicted in the state quarter is what Vermont looks like all the time. All year 'round. We have so much maple syrup. We don't even use it, we feed it to our Morgan horses. We'd bathe in it, but it's too sticky. I'm always tripping over buckets of the stuff.

You see that maple tree? Tapped that. But stay away from that crazy birch next to it. Only little boys swing on that shit.
posted by maryr at 9:57 AM on January 12 [12 favorites]

Hey, what was RI supposed to go with?

I don't know how you illustrate this, but Rhode Island was the first place in modern history to have actual freedom of religion, so that's pretty cool.

Anyway, I adore DC's quarter, because DC so rarely gets to choose anything for itself, and so getting the federal mint to print out their quarters, and refusing to use any obvious federal buildings as the symbol of the district, but instead using it to honor Duke Ellington? I just fucking love it. Makes me smile every time I see it.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:03 AM on January 12 [8 favorites]

Best Canadian quarter ever.
posted by Kabanos at 10:14 AM on January 12 [1 favorite]

Hey, what was RI supposed to go with?

Famous for You. (No image, just a nice shiny reflecting space.)
posted by kristi at 10:45 AM on January 12

Some of these are pretty good.

Sometimes state quarters knew Abraham Lincoln back in his younger days, when he still went by Dick Whitman.

Ha!

My home state quarter is pretty good, too:

Sometimes state quarters make Missouri look like an AWESOME ADVENTURELAND.

That's because IT IS!

Sometimes state quarters forgot to Put a Bird On It.

I just started watching Portlandia recently, and while I thought that particular skit was kinda dumb and annoying, the callback still made me smile.

Here's the funny thing, I don't think I ever realized DC and the territories got their own quarters! I assume this is an artifact of only dealing with change when I need it for parking or the vaccuum at the car wash.
posted by mysterpigg at 11:47 AM on January 12 [1 favorite]

Sometimes state quarters can only work with what you give them. (Wisconsin.)

Gold.
posted by The Bellman at 12:15 PM on January 12

Hey, what was RI supposed to go with?

They could have just done a blank coin with the words "Stop now, if you keep driving you might wind up in Connecticut."
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:19 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]

Sometimes state quarters knew Abraham Lincoln back in his younger days, when he still went by Dick Whitman.

The DC Register of Deeds used to be in a building (I think they moved it) that contained a statue of young Lincoln, shirtless and muscular. It was bizarre, and homoerotic, and awesome.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:21 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]

Illinois: 21st State-Century? What?
posted by Gordafarin at 2:45 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]

ooh Bulgaroktonos, if you are that NC teenager, I will pay more than 25 cents for one of those quarters. Dad just gets harder to find presents for every year.
posted by jacalata at 2:45 PM on January 12

Wonderful. Colorado and Alaska my favorite comments. Now she can move on to doing the national park quarters.

(The actual schooner and the lighthouse on the Maine state quarter.)
posted by LeLiLo at 3:02 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]

Helen Keller is on Alabama's quarter? Suddenly they've gone up ten points in my estimation.

Two states put trumpets on their quarters! But DC for the win with Ellington.
posted by phliar at 3:04 PM on January 12

"Sometimes state quarters would just like to point out that, really, every quarter is a Washington state quarter when you think about it."

The Man is on everything around here: Flag? Washington. Seal? Washington. State highway signs? Washington. Hell yeah.
posted by epersonae at 5:23 PM on January 12

Reminded me of Lore's The Ratings: State Quarters Part 7.
posted by fings at 9:40 PM on January 12

Some years ago, a cashier at a US National Park gift shop refused to accept a South Carolina quarter from me because he said that it was Canadian currency, nevermind that I pointed out that there isn't a South Carolina in Canada, nor was Canada well known for its native palm trees. I thought I had a pretty good argument there but he made me break a $5 anyway.
posted by jamaro at 10:12 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]

the Alaska one was good...heh...saving a fishy...
posted by davidmsc at 11:45 PM on January 12

Kentucky made me laugh out loud.
posted by TooFewShoes at 2:17 PM on January 13