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bloodrunsclear's real trailers for fictional films
January 15, 2012 8:14 PM   Subscribe

The sci-fi and fantasy trailer edits of bloodrunsclear range from a more diverse recasting of The Last Airbender and a more accurate version of the upcoming live-action Akira film to a moody treatment of The Sandman to the retro-looking adaptation of Neuromancer and the haunting Call of Cthulhu film. Want trailers to video game adaptations? To wargamers he has a live-action Warhammer 40,000 teaser. To LARPers he gives you Vampire: the Masquerade. To video gamers? Well... which kind are you interested in?
posted by Apocryphon (43 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
(Akira film is safely dead last I heard, FWIW)
posted by Artw at 8:16 PM on January 15, 2012


I keep hoping that Akira will never get made. Not the way Hollywood envisions it anyway.
posted by hippybear at 8:24 PM on January 15, 2012


The Neuromancer trailer doesn't look much better than what I imagine the Neuromancer remake will end up being. Case going around with guns blazing?
posted by codacorolla at 8:39 PM on January 15, 2012


American live-action Akira, a movie no one wanted. I kind of hoped they actually went through with it. It looked like it was shaping up to be a truly epic train wreck.
posted by Aznable at 8:42 PM on January 15, 2012


I hate to make this about the Akira thing, but I just don't understand it. So the idea was to Americanize it: the action takes place in Neo-New York or something and the hero is white… but the trailer has lots of (very fast) cuts to Asian faces and martial-arts stances. The logotype is explicitly Japanese-themed. So far it seems that the movie was first whitewashed and then spiced up with Oriental exoticism. Am I completely off-track? Can someone explain the creative choices here?
posted by Nomyte at 8:43 PM on January 15, 2012


Am I completely off-track?

Yes. There are no actual Akira live-action trailers, because there is no Akira live-action film. Any trailer you see online is fake.
posted by hippybear at 8:50 PM on January 15, 2012


Also: the climactic scene with Tetsuo would be seen by most audience members as being a rip-off of a South Park episode, which would be really, really funny.
posted by codacorolla at 8:50 PM on January 15, 2012




That big budget-looking Call of Cthulhu trailer leaves me utterly bewildered as to why Hollywood hasn't yet exploited HPL right into the ground. Is there a more pervasive and persistent cultural touchstone with comparable fanboy cachet that has evaded major movie treatment for so long? And yet there are enough recent films containing mythos-y elements to cobble together a more or less credible trailer. Ye liveliest madness.
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 9:14 PM on January 15, 2012


No obvious way of getting it into the form Hollywood likes without destroying it.

Which, you know, looking at what they almost did with Akira, may not be a bad thing.
posted by Artw at 9:23 PM on January 15, 2012


There's already been a real, and very well-made, Call of Cthulhu movie. Definitely worth seeing.
posted by jiawen at 9:26 PM on January 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


Kandarp - it's because almost every time filmmakers have tried to make "pure" Lovecraft films, they have sucked.

Notable exceptions to this: In The Mouth of Madness (even though it's not officially a Lovecraft story), Re-Animator and any of the HPLHS fanfilms. I'm sure there are some others, as I have not seen them all, but in my travels, most have been shite.

Any recommendations, film fans?
posted by cerulgalactus at 9:26 PM on January 15, 2012


That big budget-looking Call of Cthulhu trailer leaves me utterly bewildered as to why Hollywood hasn't yet exploited HPL right into the ground. Is there a more pervasive and persistent cultural touchstone with comparable fanboy cachet that has evaded major movie treatment for so long? And yet there are enough recent films containing mythos-y elements to cobble together a more or less credible trailer. Ye liveliest madness.

Lovecraft books and writings are extremely difficult to put on film. Almost all the horror and scary bits are what your mind can come up with, especially with his purple prose. Toss in the fact of how most were written as people who went insane from what they saw, to his, 'ahem' less than politically correct views and you have very difficult to pull off movies, especially under budget. Don't get me wrong, i'd love nothing more than to see a well done actual Lovecraft story on film. I just don't see it happening. The best ones have actually been films that were more inspired by him (Mouth of Madness, etc), even those have a history of failing on effects. Sadly Del Toro's film seems to have been axed.

Sorry for the derail. ;)

Oh! I guess an American Akira could be considered horrific enough to be a lovecraft film. ;)
posted by usagizero at 9:28 PM on January 15, 2012


Also, I don't know which is more annoying: that all these fake trailers are made up of so many smash cuts that I have almost no idea what's supposed to be going on, or how that perfectly imitates most real trailers these days.
posted by jiawen at 9:28 PM on January 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Any recommendations, film fans?

I like Dagon, that was pretty good. Has it's flaws, but pulls off the creepy sea cult of Lovecraft. Same with the Dunwich Horror. From Beyond has it's charm, but gets a bit of the poor effects and overacting.
posted by usagizero at 9:33 PM on January 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh yeah, i kind of have a soft spot for the House on Haunted Hill remake, it's not HPL, but has a bit of that "evil sealed away" kind of vibe. Especially when you first view it and don't really know what is actually going on.
posted by usagizero at 9:35 PM on January 15, 2012


No obvious way of getting it into the form Hollywood likes without destroying it.

But that just goes to my point: Destroying source material has never stopped them before. They made Optimus Prime into an animate pile of scrap ffs. What has thus far caused such philistines to scruple at raping the mythos for the sake of a quick buck?

My theory is that Stuart Gordon's '80's splatterfests, fun B-movies as they were, have actually toxified HPL as a prospective big screen franchise. Plundering the childhood toy lines of Gen Y for such cinematic gems as Battleship and Stretch Armstrong is one thing, but no studio wants to dice with disaster by investing in something that they think might be mistaken for something you last saw in a VHS bargain bin in 1996.
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 9:36 PM on January 15, 2012


For clarity I'm talking about a major, $60+ million studio production, rather than the independent-level movies that populate the Lovecraft film festivals (and obviously capture the HPL vibe far better than Hollywood ever could or would).
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 9:43 PM on January 15, 2012


What has thus far caused such philistines to scruple at raping the mythos for the sake of a quick buck?

Stupid browser, crashing on me. I had this whole thing typed up and lost it. Poo...
One thing is that Lovecraft is rarely a happy ending, which Hollywood treats as poison. It's like the Lars Von Trier movie Melancholia, yet even more depressing. ;)

Short version. Check out the tvtropes link for Lovecraft on Film to see various ways it has been on film.
posted by usagizero at 9:51 PM on January 15, 2012


The HPLHS version of Whisper in Darknes, actually messes with the ending significantly, making it, if not happier certainly more dramatic, in a pleasingly pulpy way (it's very 80s CoC scenario) - something which it prrobably needed, as Lovecraft endings tend to be along the lines of "I saw the final horror! ARGH! Big flash of lightning, I fell unconscious, now I am writing about it later and recall something in a book that makes it creepier, THE END."
posted by Artw at 10:04 PM on January 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


FWIW, I'm really not sure about the Lovecraft trailer - what's with all the snow? And not a hint of R'lyeh - I'd almost susoect they'd done Mountains of Madness under the wrong title, which I suppose is par for the course for Lovecraft films, if not for all the cultist stuff, which feels a little off to me anyway.

(Yes, yes, too hard on something scrounged together from peices.)
posted by Artw at 10:45 PM on January 15, 2012


The W40K one, on the other hand, is way too full of recognisable computer game clips for my taste, though I do like the LARPy bits.
posted by Artw at 10:50 PM on January 15, 2012


FWIW, I'm really not sure about the Lovecraft trailer - what's with all the snow? And not a hint of R'lyeh - I'd almost susoect they'd done Mountains of Madness under the wrong title, which I suppose is par for the course for Lovecraft films, if not for all the cultist stuff, which feels a little off to me anyway.


I think that might be the Cthulhu cult among the Eskimos part of the story, expanding on it and whatnot.
posted by Snyder at 11:02 PM on January 15, 2012


I keep hoping that Akira will never get made. Not the way Hollywood envisions it anyway.

It's the kind of thing that would be better for SyFy to make into a miniseries, a la their Dune ones. It would still suck in lots of ways on their budgets, but they might do a respectable job with the core.

If you just wanted to remake Akira for some reason, give it to the people who made the newer Appleseed.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:04 PM on January 15, 2012


I think that might be the Cthulhu cult among the Eskimos part of the story, expanding on it and whatnot.

Possibly, but I always got teh impressionthat was low lying and coastal... (as it might have been for the minute or so it was in the HPLHS version) - I'm gonna moan that there's no swamps either - Cthulhus's themes are always aquatic and waterlogged, snow and mountains is more of a Wendigo kinda deal.
posted by Artw at 11:07 PM on January 15, 2012


There's a lot of other trailers aside from those I posted, actually.
posted by Apocryphon at 11:17 PM on January 15, 2012


(don't mind me, I'm a picky bastard)
posted by Artw at 11:19 PM on January 15, 2012


make into a miniseries,

I'd actually like that for Akira. Done right, that would be awesome. As much as i love the anime, the graphic novels have sooooo much more in them that actually makes everything more understandable. (not totally mind you, but much more so)
posted by usagizero at 11:25 PM on January 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


The movie has better pace though - god, so much stumbling around in the ruins.
posted by Artw at 11:26 PM on January 15, 2012


There are no actual Akira live-action trailers, because there is no Akira live-action film.

Oh, mercy me.
posted by Nomyte at 11:32 PM on January 15, 2012


No obvious way of getting it into the form Hollywood likes without destroying it

Ghostbusters

"A secret society... After the First World War, Shandor decided that society was too sick to survive...he had close to a thousand followers when he died." An entire apartment building was constructed according to the cult leader's bizarre specifications, sanctified with "bizarre rituals" and "unnecessary surgery."

Decades later, residents are haunted by nightmares. They catch glimpses of other dimensions and their strange geometries. Some are possessed, ranting like madmen ("Then, during the third rectification of the last of the Meketrix Supplicants they chose a new form for him: That of a giant Slor! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to roast in the depths of the Slor that day I can tell you!") It had worked. The cultists had succeeded in waking a dead Sumerian god.

That's a Lovecraft plot. They hollywoodized it by adding hope and humor, neither of which can exist in the mythos. I suppose that destroyed it as a Lovecraft story, but it's certainly a good homage.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:47 AM on January 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


Thanks for reminding me I want cyberspace and a real deck.

Oh, and Kaneda's bike.

Oh, and a significant other...

runs off sobbing
posted by Samizdata at 12:52 AM on January 16, 2012


I actually thought Spielberg's War of the Worlds was a pretty good Lovecraftian movie in that it conveyed the sense of cosmic horror Lovecraft wrote about it in the way the human characters had no way to understand the who or why of the Martian's invasion. Suddenly, everything they knew was wrong but they had no way to do something about it. The movie was essentially about Tom Cruise's character's race against insanity. It's been years since I read the book and I can't remember if Wells had that tone in his writing, but when I saw Spielbergs version I instantly recognized the cosmic horror angle.
posted by KingEdRa at 6:02 AM on January 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Mist is pretty much a Lovecraft story, complete with hopeless ending.
posted by codacorolla at 8:30 AM on January 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well, SPOILERS, but, didn't they pretty much blow the whole global catastrophe thing so they could play a silly and cruel trick on the protagonist?

I've not seen it, for pretty much that reason, thought the King story is one of my favorite Lovecraftian tales and unofficialy th basis for one of my fave computer games.
posted by Artw at 9:01 AM on January 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


Artw: yes, but up until the ending it's a very effective horror story with gigantic evil creatures.
posted by codacorolla at 9:05 AM on January 16, 2012


Ghostbusters is one of the most successful film treatments of Lovecraftian themes AND cyberpunk themes. Not so much with all the mirrorshades-and-pink-plastic-mohawks visual tropes, but more like in Back to the Future, the characters' agency stems from the use of high-tech gear that is presented as grimy and dangerously untested low-tech, more of a street-finding-its-own-uses-for-things-kinda-thing.
posted by Rustmouth Snakedrill at 1:37 PM on January 16, 2012


Re: The pseudo-Sandman trailer link in the original post, for those disappointed that a Sandman film/TV adaptation hasn't been forthcoming, it may be of some consolation that HBO actually is developing a series based on another Neil Gaiman opus, American Gods. Here, incidentally, is a Sandman "storyboard" of sorts by the artist John Watkiss which Gaiman said had been part of a presentation, years ago, to Warner Films about Sandman's own potential for adaptation. Apparently the studio (probably correctly) concluded they wouldn't know what to do with it.
posted by NetizenKen at 2:34 PM on January 16, 2012


Of course these are not real trailers, at least for the majority of Hollywood pap, as they don't point out all the main plot points in order up to well into the third act...

With Lovecaft films there's always this... which is so astonishingly awful it's practically a lovecraftian experience watching it, so mindfucking incoherent
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:52 PM on January 16, 2012


Looks llike The Guardian got conned.
posted by Artw at 3:24 PM on January 16, 2012


The Mist is pretty much a Lovecraft story, complete with hopeless ending.

The best way to experience The Mist is in its audioplay form with headphones. Recorded in binaural sound, you actually hear things moving around behind you while you listen. It's quite unsettling in a dark room.
posted by hippybear at 3:46 PM on January 16, 2012


Looks llike The Guardian got conned.

Was it one of bloodrunsclear's?
posted by Apocryphon at 11:54 AM on January 17, 2012


It was this one - I'd assumed so but it says "Uploaded by asmithproduction".
posted by Artw at 1:17 PM on January 17, 2012


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