"Those are some of the worst female singers I've ever heard"

January 19, 2012 1:32 PM

There's official. And then there's Facebook official. [SLYT-viral-probably-something-blue-but-totally-worth-it]
posted by unSane (52 comments total)

I can't believe this hasn't been posted yet.

Note the cameo from 'N Sync's Lance Bass at the beginning (the 'HEART2HEART' guy).

The dance moves and hair is either an homage or appropriate of K-pop style; I think there were a lot of Koreans who were posting about it on these guys' facebook page when the song came out (Not usually favorably).

Also the "about" section of their website (linked on the youtube video) is...a treasure. It lists the height and weight of everyone in the band.
posted by dismas at 1:37 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

Remove Friend.
posted by Fizz at 1:46 PM on January 19 [4 favorites]

That was kind of funny, but actual K-pop makes me laugh more.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:47 PM on January 19

Eh, this is pure GOML-filter.
posted by desjardins at 1:48 PM on January 19

I kept looking for Andy Samberg. With that being said, I would like to propose a corollary to Poe's Law that applies specifically to pop music although I haven't a clue what to call it.
posted by sendai sleep master at 1:49 PM on January 19 [5 favorites]

Note the guy that winks in every shot. Though probably meant as a charming detail, when you start seeing it over and over again it seems like he has a facial tic.

On a whole, there's something fascinating about something like this band, so completely made up and unreal from start to finish.
posted by svenni at 1:56 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

On second thought, maybe the internet does need to be shut down..
posted by obscurator at 1:59 PM on January 19 [17 favorites]

I was really hoping this was going to end up like that Hot Chip video, and am now sad that it didn't.
posted by koeselitz at 2:03 PM on January 19 [3 favorites]

I can't actually tell if this is a joke or not. Help?
posted by TheMidnightHobo at 2:09 PM on January 19 [4 favorites]

I mean... this IS a joke right? This is some kind of quantum post-irony or something, right? RIGHT?
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:12 PM on January 19

Website.
posted by cjorgensen at 2:23 PM on January 19

They seem rather...undernourished. Still, this is an elaborate hoax. Then again, so is 99% of all pop music.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:27 PM on January 19

I can't actually tell if this is a joke or not.

There's nothing funny about a heart on your face.
posted by orme at 2:27 PM on January 19 [2 favorites]

When I think of affection I do not think of Facebook Official, which sounds like the term for those people who block the accounts of people they think have fake names.

YOUR AFFECTION HAS BEEN DEEMED INVALID BY FACEBOOK OFFICIAL. MAKE YOUR TIME.

THERE IS NO HEART IN THE FUTURE. ONLY CAPSLOCK.
posted by winna at 2:27 PM on January 19

Wait a second... this is real? I was all giggling, thinking to myself, "Oh very well done, very subtle, the only over-the-top giveaway is the cat-eye eyeliner," and then I clicked on their website and ... this is real??!?? Tween girls are actually out there crushing on these lovely and talented young drag queens?

Huh. I guess, actually, on consideration -- that's kind of a satisfying thought. Giggle.
posted by ourobouros at 2:28 PM on January 19 [2 favorites]

koeselitz: "I was really hoping this was going to end up like that Hot Chip video, and am now sad that it didn't."

Just in case you haven't seen it....

_{For the uninitiated, the guys in Hot Chip look absolutely nothing like the more-attractive actors in their video. They also don't use absurd stage names. Their video essentially parodies every single thing that the video in the FPP is inexplicably trying to emulate.}
posted by schmod at 2:36 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

winna: "THERE IS NO HEART IN THE FUTURE. ONLY CAPSLOCK."

RICK

RICK

RICK

What is it, Lou?

im curious rick

its about you humans

when two of you see each other a lot and like each other

is that love rick

I guess, Lou. It's honestly a bit more complicated than that.

Love takes time, and is an emotion. There's more to it than spending time together. It takes time to develop.

Why are you asking me, Lou? Have you met someone?

no

if love takes time do you love emily

I don't know yet, Lou. We've only been on three dates. I guess you could call it a relationship at this point.

It's hard, because she refuses to come back to the apartment ever since the incident.

that was totally not my fault rick

she was in my spot

my. spot.

anyway im making it up to you

Lou. What have you done?

Lou.

Lou. Are you there? What have you done?

sorry rick

i was fixing something

when you left for work this morning you left facebook open

i couldnt believe how much information you forgot to include on your profile

there arent even any pictures of us together rick

and youre not even friends with your own mother

Lou...

oh dont worry rick

i fixed that

she was very interested in the pictures from last summer

LOU

and emily

shes your friend but you forgot to mention that youre in a relationship

so i fixed that

Lou. I don't even know....

That's not your account to mess around with!

oh don't worry

i sent her a message when i changed your relationship status

so she knows you dont love her

yet

I don't even....

I need to make a phone call, Lou.

i love you rick
posted by schmod at 2:59 PM on January 19 [4 favorites]

You know what else is official?

Me becoming my mother - I finally, all-too-clearly understand her reaction to Duran Duran back in the day.

BLECCCHHH EEEEEWWWWWW.....
posted by tristeza at 3:11 PM on January 19 [4 favorites]

These guys look like Final Fantasy characters to me.
posted by nasayre at 3:21 PM on January 19 [9 favorites]

Well produced and amusing but the chorus is... so... bland.
posted by ropeladder at 3:26 PM on January 19

I thought I saw Kyle from Party Down in the back of that dance line.
posted by NoMich at 3:28 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

I thought the sagging skinny jeans thing died a few years ago. Is it back, or are the bald, middle-aged men who constructed this monstrosity just 3-to-5-years-worth of culturally tone deaf?
posted by cmoj at 3:34 PM on January 19

I've lived in Japan too long to even know if this is satire but it was more entertaining than 90% of the J-Pop I've encountered....
posted by squasha at 3:34 PM on January 19

This music's bad and they should feel bad.
posted by murphy slaw at 3:42 PM on January 19 [3 favorites]

To me, this is fake. Good fake, in that it took more than a second for me to decide.

Is Lance Bass known to have a sense of humour?
posted by flippant at 4:36 PM on January 19

No. Deny. Cancel. Unaccept. Eject. Do not do. Ignore. Forget. Reject. Undo. Negatory. Inverse. Disavow. Forget. Void. Repudiate. Nullify.
posted by pyrex at 4:37 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

Notice that Heart 2 Heart, almost almost *almost* looks like Heart2Trash?

Yeah I... It's like when I first saw Brokencyde and was like wuh? Poe's law indeed.
posted by symbioid at 4:40 PM on January 19

I've never felt so good about being 30 and looking 45 in my life.
posted by alex_skazat at 4:41 PM on January 19 [3 favorites]

I can forgive the 17 and the 18 year olds. the 23 year old should know better.
posted by Tarumba at 4:45 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

I feel like the protagonist in The Forever War coming back to Earth after being away for decades, and re-enlisting after a few days just to get the hell off the place.
posted by Hogshead at 4:59 PM on January 19 [6 favorites]

Move over, Rebecca Black. The Throne of Terrible is now occupied by these gentlemen.
posted by stroke_count at 5:19 PM on January 19

Is this one of those "lesbians that look like justin bieber" things?





No?
posted by odinsdream at 6:21 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

I. Wait. What? I don't even...
posted by asnider at 7:23 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

Oh man. This made the rounds on the k-pop blogs when it first came out, and I remember all the passionate discussions (and opinions) it sparked -- mostly whether or not it was a parody.

I was in the "parody" camp from the get-go due to the use of the SM dancing box of white walls and weird lights (which if you've ever seen a Super Junior video, you know what I'm talking about), the horrifically cheesy attempts at aegyo, the awkwardly not-quite-in-sync dancing, and weak vocals.

But somewhere, in one of the many articles I read, someone left a link to a statement that basically said Chad Future (known for his parodies) was actually serious about this boy band. Ah, it took me a bit (because like I said, the k-pop blogosphere exploded in opinionated rage and I couldn't remember where I read it), but here it is.

I'm still not convinced it isn't a parody.
posted by paisley sheep at 7:38 PM on January 19

Thanks to this, I just spent a highly entertaining half hour with my daughter whereby we looked at videos by N'Sync, New Kids on the Block, Menudo and, for comparison basis, The Partridge Family. Science! I did it for science! Conclusion? There's more eyeliner nowadays but otherwise, things - and by things, I mean manufactured boy bands - have not changed so much. Also, I haven't laughed so hard in a while.

Except this damn thing is now stuck in my head. Also, because I did it, I invite you to enjoy Epic Mullet Guys take and some strange thing that I think might be an Indian informercial but which is nevertheless pretty entertaining for a little while. At least as a comparison basis.
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:44 PM on January 19 [2 favorites]

If it helps for parody-or-not debating:

This is heart2heart. Their mentor/creator/puppetmaster is none other than N*SYNC alumnus Lance Bass.

So my money's solidly on "Not a parody."
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:56 PM on January 19

I liked it.
posted by sweetkid at 8:28 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

Kind of like 2ge+her without the wittiness, which makes me sad as I like parody pop.
posted by bluesapphires at 8:30 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

Yeah -- Lance is the one who introduces the band at the beginning. Still doesn't stop me from thinking (hoping?) it's an elaborate hoax.

The issue, I think, is not merely with the people who are "oh holy hell this is one of the worst songs I've ever heard/videos I've ever seen," but with what appears to be an appropriation of a culture without much respect for it. I think it's pretty clear that k-pop is what Heart2Heart was going for. And maybe David/Chad is sincere in his attempt to emulate that style. Maybe he thinks k-pop groups are awesome and the next new thing and wants to jump on the train. Maybe.

But mostly it seems as though he's making fun of the genre while pretending to be sincere -- which is perhaps the biggest annoyance of all (yeah, even more annoying than actually watching the video). This is why there are so many comments from pissed off k-pop fans because they know how little respect most of the Western world gives to k-pop and so it can be frustrating when this sort of thing gets more attention than actual k-pop groups who have talent (e.g. 2ne1 winning MTV Iggy's Best New Band award for 2011).

Now, I'm not exactly sure how pop music is promoted in the US (I'm pretty out of touch with pop music that isn't Korean anymore), but is it normal for a standard US-based pop group to have a couple of teasers? And then eventually follow-up the MV with a dance version? And release the choreography practice video? (Let's not forget the making-of!)

Because that's par for the course in k-pop. And it again makes me believe that this is a parody -- a highly elaborate but poorly conceived parody -- but a parody nonetheless.

I mean, k-pop is certainly mockable. I do it all the time. But there is also plenty within it that I sincerely enjoy and while I would undoubtedly howl in laughter at a well-intentioned parody, this isn't it.
posted by paisley sheep at 9:07 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

Whoops. Copy/paste/preview fail.

Dance version here.

Because y'all are just dying to see another version of this MV, I'm sure...
posted by paisley sheep at 9:12 PM on January 19 [2 favorites]

This is an eerily spot-on take on the current zeitgeist. Oops, gotta run, got great tickets for the game tonight at Enron Field!
posted by threeants at 10:02 PM on January 19

I mean... this IS a joke right? This is some kind of quantum post-irony or something, right? RIGHT?

I think this pretty much proves my entire theory of zero-point irony and empty space having "dark satire". Better still, I've just added another two decimal places to my measure of the speed of mockery.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 11:07 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

Are they trying to bring back 1700s-style beauty spots or just trying to cover up a pox scar?
posted by Soliloquy at 11:20 PM on January 19

paisley sheep: "Oh man. This made the rounds on the k-pop blogs when it first came out, and I remember all the passionate discussions (and opinions) it sparked -- mostly whether or not it was a parody.

I was in the "parody" camp from the get-go due to the use of the SM dancing box of white walls and weird lights (which if you've ever seen a Super Junior video, you know what I'm talking about), the horrifically cheesy attempts at aegyo, the awkwardly not-quite-in-sync dancing, and weak vocals.

But somewhere, in one of the many articles I read, someone left a link to a statement that basically said Chad Future (known for his parodies) was actually serious about this boy band. Ah, it took me a bit (because like I said, the k-pop blogosphere exploded in opinionated rage and I couldn't remember where I read it), but here it is.

I'm still not convinced it isn't a parody."

Ummmm, wow. That first Super Junior video REALLY made me think of a Bollywood number. I mean the lyrical style even sounded the same.
posted by Samizdata at 12:34 AM on January 20

I dunno. I thought Hasselhoff's Hooked on a Feeling vid was a spoof at first, too. Oh, well. At least that Chipmunks IHOP commercial is out of my head. Oh... was.
posted by theplotchickens at 3:57 AM on January 20 [1 favorite]

Now see if I was making this video I would have dressed the girls up so they looked like boys and they would have had a linux laptop not a mac. The way they did this it looks like it is beamed in from some Madame Mao feminist socialist male-hating dictatorship.

Also the song didn't have enough bass and drum for a coherent dance beat. Does it have a bunch of 'likes'?
posted by bukvich at 5:58 AM on January 20

I'd like to make a pithy comment about the video but to be honest I only made it about 8 seconds in. The hair and facial expressions on the first three turds to suddenly appear made me hit cmd-W really, really fast.
posted by caution live frogs at 7:43 AM on January 20

Now, I'm not exactly sure how pop music is promoted in the US (I'm pretty out of touch with pop music that isn't Korean anymore), but is it normal for a standard US-based pop group to have a couple of yt teasers yt ? And then eventually follow-up the MV with a dance version yt ? And release the choreography practice video yt ? (Let's not forget the making-of yt !)

I'm not sure that there is really a typical way of marketing pop anymore. Promoters are finally starting to realize that promoting groups online is about more than just having a website, but there doesn't seem to be any agreement on the best way to do it other than: "WE NEED TO GO VIRAL!"
posted by asnider at 8:23 AM on January 20

This reminds me of Du Jour.

Toujours Du Jour!
posted by urbanlenny at 9:05 AM on January 20

Kill me.
posted by beerbajay at 9:20 AM on January 20

If you are asking yourself how and why, you should check out the documentary film, "Before The Music Dies"
posted by chillmost at 10:00 AM on January 20

It took me to the chorus to realise it wasn't a parody. The dropping out of the light, the way that all of the guys are done up 'as if hot' though not really attractive, the dude holding the bad band logo (with a stupid name), the girls watching at the other end and giggling - this is sort of like when Hot Chip did that other video, right? Even in the verses, I thought, "Well, it's not really outright funny, but maybe their just working on being subtle until the big reveal."

Sadly I was mistaken.
posted by vckeating at 4:56 AM on January 22