In OTC market segments, plan to collateralize subprime CDOs

January 19, 2012 10:34 PM

Financial Advice Generator.
posted by vidur (30 comments total)

Seems to be broken.
posted by Defenestrator at 10:37 PM on January 19

Can't get there from here ... but the name alone has me laughing anyway.
posted by philip-random at 10:40 PM on January 19

Buy low. Sell high.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 10:42 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

Seems to be working for me. Reload, perhaps?

Higher-classed REMICs: in the commodities market, be sure not to prorate them.
posted by vidur at 10:42 PM on January 19

This wan't as funny to me as it could've been, I think, because I knew what all my randomly generated advice meant.

Kinda like a German speaker watching a Hitler subtitle video, I guess.
posted by planet at 10:50 PM on January 19 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I could use a little more metaphysics. ie:

The wise trader these days will be sure to levitate revenue-neutral systemic cosmological demonlogies.
posted by philip-random at 11:03 PM on January 19

It is what it is.
posted by mullacc at 11:19 PM on January 19

No it isn't.
posted by aubilenon at 11:20 PM on January 19 [1 favorite]

Depends what the definition of is is.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 11:55 PM on January 19

I like the Gourmet Food one better: Sumptuous Ketchup Jerky served with Hot Dog Pilaf.
posted by digitalprimate at 11:56 PM on January 19

I like the Gourmet Food one better: Sumptuous Ketchup Jerky served with Hot Dog Pilaf.

Do you have a... wait for it... link?
posted by hal9k at 12:10 AM on January 20 [1 favorite]

A STRANGE GAME.
THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS
NOT TO PLAY.
posted by Rhaomi at 12:11 AM on January 20 [2 favorites]

"The wise trader these days will be sure not to collateralize unsecured debts."

This is actually not wrong.
posted by C^3 at 12:13 AM on January 20

throw enough shit against the wall -- something's eventually going to stick
posted by philip-random at 12:31 AM on January 20

why are the walls covered in shit
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 1:03 AM on January 20 [5 favorites]

The hungry investor buys a conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:23 AM on January 20 [3 favorites]

The Wall Street Journal recently retired their Dartboard, where stock market picks were chosen by simulated monkeys throwing darts.

It's an election year, so I understand the decision to retire it. This year should be about monkeys flinging poo.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:24 AM on January 20

Advance to your nearest Community Chest. If you pass go, collect $200.

Wow, surprisingly great financial advice!
posted by Rodrigo Lamaitre at 4:15 AM on January 20

I have some of my own: Buy an asset. If it goes up, sell it. If it goes down, don't buy it.
posted by VTX at 5:42 AM on January 20 [3 favorites]

Not bad, but I think a funnier one would mock all the terrible advice that's written in plain English.
posted by michaelh at 5:46 AM on January 20

You've just indescribably magnified my capacity to bullshit other people. Thanks!
posted by Renoroc at 6:55 AM on January 20

Don't miss the action movie name generator:
Maximum Blood
Double Overkill
Fist of Surrender
posted by Xoebe at 7:09 AM on January 20

Hey this sounds familiar! NEAT!

where'd I put that phonebook... fina...finance... bro... brokers...
posted by odinsdream at 7:13 AM on January 20

The 1738 Sauvignon Blanc from Chateau Monet fuses steamy nacho essences with a titillating cilantro essence.

OMFG yes
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 8:03 AM on January 20

The Gourmet Food one is pretty good:

Grilled Squash Sticks with Greenish Peanut Tea

This Financial Advice one? Not so good, in my opinion.
posted by mysterpigg at 8:06 AM on January 20

Don't miss the action movie name generator:
Maximum Blood
Double Overkill
Fist of Surrender

I think that's where the US military has been getting all those riduculous Operation titles.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:08 AM on January 20 [1 favorite]

The 1939 Pinot Grigio from Butafucco Bros Winery combines near-demonic clam elements with a run-of-the-mill halibut flavor.

Well, I guess that'll go well with my... let's see here: Salted Yam Gravy topped with Cod Pizza.

It's like a party in my mouth, and everyone's throwing up.
posted by mrgoat at 9:10 AM on January 20

I'm sure the Random Academic Quote Generator has many uses for generating Mefi comments.

The morphology of reciprocity is quite socialistic in its codependency.
The hubris of reinforcement is rather poetic in its nihilism.
The simplicity of fluidity is unorthodox in its empiricism.
posted by philipy at 10:15 AM on January 20

None of these hold a candle to the Postmodernism Generator.
posted by Philofacts at 5:25 PM on January 20

I have put in a request for a randomized Non Profit mission statement generator. Could save hours of frustrating meetings with my colleagues.
posted by chapps at 7:25 PM on January 20 [1 favorite]