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"Except for that Abercrombie. Swear that guy has Plot Armor to prevent anything bad from ever happening to him, just like his characters."
January 25, 2012 9:23 AM   Subscribe


 
I would pay so much goddamn money to D&D with Scott Lynch and Joe Abercrombie every Saturday night.
posted by WidgetAlley at 9:31 AM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


I would pay so much goddamn money to D&D with Scott Lynch and Joe Abercrombie every Saturday night.

If it meant his next book finally being published, I'd give up that game.
posted by Fizz at 9:32 AM on January 25, 2012 [4 favorites]


And the web site failed its defensive roll..
posted by Old'n'Busted at 9:40 AM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


The web site has been resurrected; roll for system shock.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:53 AM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


This should be fun, but it's basically a combat orientated RPG sesion so it's all ability like Rimmer reading from his Risk diary. I wonder what a more story or roleplaying orientated session would have been like.
posted by Artw at 9:58 AM on January 25, 2012 [4 favorites]


If Lynch is taking time out for stuff like this, it means the book is done. I shall now leave my cubicle, go out to the parking lot, and do the righteous dance of nerd abandonment.
posted by Ber at 9:58 AM on January 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Saving throw failed, again.
posted by snuffleupagus at 9:59 AM on January 25, 2012


(Just keep reloading. If you flog it hard enough, the page loads.)
posted by snuffleupagus at 10:00 AM on January 25, 2012


If Lynch is taking time out for stuff like this, it means the book is done. I shall now leave my cubicle, go out to the parking lot, and do the righteous dance of nerd abandonment.
Well, the months have rolled around faster than anyone could quite credit and we find ourselves in 2012 and still without that final confirmed delivery of the completed draft of Scott Lynch’s The Republic of Thieves. Sadly those who expressed their doubts have been proved right and we’re now forced to move the likely date for Scott’s publication into the Autumn of this year. Scott is still facing up to his issues and we’re still having to face up to the wait for his book. I know which I’d rather be dealing with. So, we send our apologies to you and our very best wishes to Scott. Thank you, on his behalf, for bearing with us. And in the meantime, of course, (and to take some of the pressure of Scott) there are plenty of other wonderful books to be reading until The Republic of Thieves does make its appearance.
I wouldn't be so quick to dance.
posted by Fizz at 10:04 AM on January 25, 2012


Peter Watts' run at being a DM was going fine until all the players silently agreed that jumping off a cliff and embracing death was the only way to win.
posted by The Whelk at 10:11 AM on January 25, 2012 [13 favorites]


See, that's why Call of Cthulhu is the best!
posted by Artw at 10:13 AM on January 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


The William Gibson module requires you to spend 2 hours working out your character's wardrobe before you can do ANYTHING
posted by The Whelk at 10:15 AM on January 25, 2012 [8 favorites]


Um... doesn't everyone spend AT LEAST two hours on character wardrobe? (I mean half the time I'll take a cool, non-magical, cloak over a +4 sword from the party loot.)
posted by oddman at 10:20 AM on January 25, 2012


Cyberpunk 2020 would be the won for anyone who wants to spend an excessive amount of time on bullet trajectories, wound locations, internal bleeding, going into shock and having about eight different levels of being dead.
posted by Artw at 10:24 AM on January 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


Needs more Charlie "I invented the Githyanki" Stross.
posted by Amanojaku at 10:31 AM on January 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


The won? Jesus.
posted by Artw at 10:34 AM on January 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


"Half ork ranger" What bullshit it this? First edition 1/2 Orks were limited to Fighter and Cleric I'm sure.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:35 AM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Over the Edge*" would be the game of choice for those who want to reveal that they spent far too much time at Gen Con in the 90s.

*The game is awesome, BTW.
posted by drezdn at 10:37 AM on January 25, 2012


fearfulsymmetry: ""Half ork ranger" What bullshit it this? First edition 1/2 Orks were limited to Fighter and Cleric I'm sure."

Nah. "A half-orc character can become a cleric (maximum of 4th level), a fighter (maximum of 10th level), a thief (maximum of 8th level), or an assassin." 1E PHB, pg 17.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:48 AM on January 25, 2012


"Needs more Charlie 'I invented the Githyanki' Stross."

As it happens, Charlie's next year's Guest of Honor for that particular convention.
posted by jscalzi at 10:52 AM on January 25, 2012


Amanojaku: "Needs more Charlie "I invented the Githyanki" Stross."

AND githzerai.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:57 AM on January 25, 2012


He’s going with a half-elf cleric named Glendrin Smythe. I’ll be his little brother by 22 years, also a cleric: Grrthog Smythe, half-orc. (Clearly, Dad Smythe’s charms declined with age.)

Yes! Now throw in a Mul (Dark Sun half-dwarf) and you'll have the weirdest episode of My Three Sons EVAR.
posted by m@f at 11:02 AM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]



Needs more Charlie "I invented the Githyanki" Stross.

There is a Laundry RPG just saaaaayin.
posted by The Whelk at 11:07 AM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


No Steven Brust or Steven Erikson. That game blows.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:15 AM on January 25, 2012


Did Scott do funny voices? He did a great Smeagol at Viable Paradise.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 11:23 AM on January 25, 2012


Here's the writing sample I did trying to get some work on the Laundry RPG. Nothing really came of it, possibly not surprising as I wasn't able to devote much time to doing something that would really blow them away, but it was still kind of fun writing about a familiar Mythos threat in a different kind of way.

ORANGE CONICAL GRASP – EYES ONLY BRIEFING

We are observed by intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic – not from more usual locations such as the Dark Anthropic Zone or the Black Chamber (or even outer space), but from the depths of time itself.

The entities known as ORANGE CONICAL GRASP might at first be assumed to be run-of-the-mill possessor entities, overwriting their victims personality with one wholly alien, if not for a for a few key dissimilarities:

– A level of curiosity about earthly going ons seldom seen in visitors from beyond.
– A corresponding lack of interest in the usual activity of EAT MOAR SOULS.
Astonishingly the possession seems to pass and leave the victim more or less unharmed, original personality restored.

Coupled with archaeological findings in Australia (see HOURGLASS LABYRINTH) this has lead to the belief that we are being infiltrated and investigated by a predecessor civilisation across a distance of sixty five million years.

The original biological nature of the infiltrators we do not know – the evidence we have points to them taking a somewhat ludicrous, multi-appendaged mollusk like form, but this may be an unrelated species that has been bodyjacked in a similar if more permanent form. Q Division do however have some theories as to the means of the “possession”: A form of quantum entanglement which achieves the transfer of a pattern of thought through space as well as time.

Research is underway as to how to disrupt these patterns.

posted by Artw at 11:34 AM on January 25, 2012 [5 favorites]


Is this the thread where I talk about how much I love Abercrombie's First Law stories? Because I do love them. I love them lots. They're near the top of my list of all time favorite things.
posted by eyeballkid at 12:49 PM on January 25, 2012


spend an excessive amount of time on bullet trajectories, wound locations, internal bleeding, going into shock and having about eight different levels of being dead

Oh... Naw... Cyberpunk 2020 was fast and easy...

Try Phoenix Command...

Five hours of playtime to simulate 20 seconds of combat...
posted by jkaczor at 2:10 PM on January 25, 2012


"(Except for that Abercrombie. Swear that guy has Plot Armor to prevent anything bad from ever happening to him, just like his characters."

Whuuhh? Oh, irony.

"Is this the thread where I talk about how much I love Abercrombie's First Law stories? Because I do love them. I love them lots. They're near the top of my list of all time favorite things."

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Heroes and Best Served Cold are great, too.

But, yeah. The First Law trilogy is so great. The final scene with our benevolent wizard Bayaz and our hero, Jezal, who's completed his heroe's journey, as Jezal advocates to Bayaz his desire for a more benevolent realm...I just don't have words for how much that scene stunned and pleased me.

"I would pay so much goddamn money to D&D with Scott Lynch and Joe Abercrombie every Saturday night."

Me, too. And, too, as cjoregnsen mentions, Steven Erikson would be a great addition.

Like others, I squeed a bit at the appearance of Lynch.

Here's a funny thing: for more than a couple of decades, I've been one of those people who has corresponded with a number of notable people, including more than a few reasonably famous writers. And, in all this time, I'd never once written a fan letter.

Until one day after reading some stuff Lynch had posted on his old blog and after having re-read his two books. The first one, The Lies of Locke Lamora, is easily among my top five favorite books I've read in the last ten years out of at least a thousand. I think it's almost perfect. The scene where young Locke meets young Nazca in her spiked boots and declares himself her pezon is a joy. And I was especially moved to praise what Lynch does with Nazca early in the novel, fully conforming to genre storytelling convention and then blowing it out of the water. So I wrote Lynch my one and only fan letter of my entire life. I endeavored to make it substantive and interesting and not yet another "you're so great, I love your book" letter writers receive. And I was deeply interested in hearing what he might have to say about his choices with regard to Nazca, especially.

But he didn't respond. *sad face* Didn't he understand he was obligated to me, having written my only fan letter of my entire life? Don't these writers understand their obligations? And where's the long-promised third in the series, anyway?

So, yeah, right. Readers and their sense of entitlement. But, truth, is that I didn't write to Lynch what I ought to have, perhaps, and said that I have lived and live through the same issues that trouble him and, honestly, I can't imagine being in the position of being expected to produce a novel in a series as well-received as his first two, and under the conditions of his life at that (and still, apparently) time.

It got me to thinking about how odd it is, really, that it's not more often that two books like these two are published and then the writer disappears. I suppose that being successful at the lottery that is writing and publishing carries with it more incentive to continue than I would have otherwise expected, in the case of writers. JS and CS might have some insights they could share with us on that.

Anyway, I'm all about the subversion of classic fantasy and while I admire and enjoy Martin's books, I believe Abercrombie, Lynch, and Erikson to be possibly the top three at this game. It's interesting that there's a considerable amount of dark humor in all three's works, and which owes some debt to Cook, but that each is distinct in this. Abercrombie's is simultaneously most dark and most overt. Lynch's has the inflected humor of noir and caper films. Erikson's is more uneven, ranging from absurdity to the dry-wit of the battle weary soldier. In all cases, both the darkness and the humor are powerful sea breezes blowing away the stale artifice of high fantasy convention. I dearly wish there were twenty more writers like these guys. I dearly wish there were twenty female writers like these guys, and, among other things, would likewise breathe some life into urban fantasy tropes and conventions that just within a few years have grown enormously stale.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 2:12 PM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Heroes and Best Served Cold are great, too.

Yup. I couldn't think of anything to call them that would encompass the five books besides "the First Law stories."
posted by eyeballkid at 3:14 PM on January 25, 2012


Me, too. And, too, as cjoregnsen mentions, Steven Erikson would be a great addition.

The world of Malazan Book of the Fallen began as an RPG setting, if I recall correctly. I don't think he and Esselmont ever actually brought out a rulebook, which is sad. I would play that to death.
posted by AdamCSnider at 3:32 PM on January 25, 2012


Why D&D is pure awesome forever and ever: "We all notice livestock are cheap. Can we drive hundreds of livestock through the dungeon to set off every trap? We ask. Myke doesn’t look pleased."
If they did do that, the DM would have to adapt pretty damned fast so as not to have the thing be a cakewalk. Good test of the DM's improv skills, and a great show of inventive thinking by the players. 'Here are the rules, and remember that the map is not the territory.'
posted by Zack_Replica at 4:00 PM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


That was actually a common method discussed for making it through Tomb of Horrors, so the idea's been around a while. But yeah, if I were really going to have to do a dungeon crawl through room after room of traps set by a massively powerful evil mage/lich, I'd probably drive a herd of cattle through before me.


Or just tunnel in from the roof.
posted by darkstar at 4:05 PM on January 25, 2012


As DM I would just have the cattle come out again... on fire, or horribly changed.
posted by Artw at 4:06 PM on January 25, 2012


Also, it's what the Simulacrum spell was designed for.
posted by darkstar at 4:08 PM on January 25, 2012


Boom, screw you cocky PCs.

That or a bottomless pit with a narrow ledge around it 20 foot inside the entrance.
posted by Artw at 4:13 PM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Now I'm thinking about my favorite SF authors and wondering whether they're real men, real roleplayers, loonies, or munchkins.
posted by wobh at 4:15 PM on January 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Cyberpunk 2020, Phoenix Command...

So your mental block against Rulesmonster is still working, eh? Lucky you.

(1990's Rolemaster module 'Black Ops' - can't confirm, but iirc there're references to HPL/horror opportunities for that time period/scenario).

--

Really? REALLY?! Wow, Iron Crown is back.

Hmm, seems like they're saying all the right things. Anyone gotten a chance to enjoy any of their new stuff yet?
posted by porpoise at 10:04 PM on January 25, 2012


Nah. "A half-orc character can become a cleric (maximum of 4th level), a fighter (maximum of 10th level), a thief (maximum of 8th level), or an assassin." 1E PHB, pg 17.

Yeah, well that was not being arsed to google it.. at the time I would have had that shit totally memorised. Bit worrying how much I still remember...

Oh and you drive a herd of cattle into my dungeon... be prepared to face a herd of magically transformed half-demon, half-undead, half-black-pudding cowbears coming back at you. Mad wizards are so useful
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:01 AM on January 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


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