I do well understand why it is important to many people to validate publicly their own experience that it's not a choice. Given the stigma, given the guilt and shame that so many are made to feel, and given how almost all gay people struggle with their sense of identity and orientation, feeling like they must "choose" to conform...well, it's extremely important to get the message out that, fuck no, this wasn't a choice. Talking about it like it's nothing more than a choice trivializes the experience, the struggle with identity in a homophobic society.
People talking about choosing to be gay is very understandably threatening because it seems like doing so is functioning in that trivializing way. It feels like an appropriation of an identity that someone doesn't have a right to.
However we choose to live our lives or describe ourselves, a bunch of people will either object or helpfully attempt to reframe it in terms of their own agenda or worldview.
If you're curious what it feels like to doubt your own existence, let me assure you that it's fucking terrifying.
"My recent comments in The New York Times were about me and my personal story of being gay. I believe we all have different ways we came to the gay community and we can't and shouldn't be pigeon-holed into one cultural narrative which can be uninclusive and disempowering. However, to the extent that anyone wishes to interpret my words in a strictly legal context I would like to clarify:
"While I don't often use the word, the technically precise term for my orientation is bisexual. I believe bisexuality is not a choice, it is a fact. What I have 'chosen' is to be in a gay relationship.
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