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Madonna wins the Super Bowl
February 5, 2012 9:50 PM   Subscribe

The Super Bowl 2012 Half Time show, in which the lich queen Madonna declares supreme victory over all who fall before her. There were also some adverts and a sporting event of some kind.
posted by Artw (313 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Yes. She owned the entire stage, while generously sharing it with a bunch of folks. It was really great. Her new song was pretty bad, though - disappointingly simple and kinda dumb. But all the rest was fantastic, exactly how this kind of spectacle is supposed to go.
posted by mediareport at 9:54 PM on February 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


I would have thought that this was the first internet utterance of the phrase "madonna lich queen".......
posted by lalochezia at 9:55 PM on February 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


I feel like if you are a 50-year-old superstar it is extremely important that in your performances you try to put the emphasis on "timeless" and not on "guys I am still young seriously." The parts of the performance worked best when she was ~*Madonna*~, the parts that worked worst was when she was trying to compete or imitate the moves of the much younger entertainers or dancers around her but it was clear she didn't have the physical abilities for it (this could also be a choreography rather than age problem). The thing with that guy from LMFAO holding her feet? That was awkward. Almost falling off the bench? She ran with it but also awkward.
posted by schroedinger at 9:57 PM on February 5, 2012 [9 favorites]


here are some related gifs:
- shufflin'
- oh M.I.A., you so hardcore
- this sort of looks like a booty bump war - my money is on nicki
- least graceful winning touchdown ever
- not a gif, but, hey, puppy bowl!
posted by nadawi at 9:57 PM on February 5, 2012 [14 favorites]


Way too much lip synching, as far as I'm concerned.
posted by unwordy at 9:57 PM on February 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


I, for one, thought she was channeling (deliberately or otherwise) Maude Lebowski.
posted by joe lisboa at 9:57 PM on February 5, 2012 [37 favorites]


oh, and the stumble shroedinger refers to
posted by nadawi at 9:58 PM on February 5, 2012


Oh Wes, oh Wes...
posted by D_I at 9:59 PM on February 5, 2012


Clint Eastwood: I'm [gravelly-voiced, Christian Bale-era] Batman ... talking over the same damn exact footage of Joe Lisboa's hometown again.
posted by joe lisboa at 10:01 PM on February 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ah, the stumble was ok. She recovered nicely in front of...however many people and was clearly having fun afterwards; it just got better and better. The tightrope shit was great, too.
posted by mediareport at 10:04 PM on February 5, 2012


"lich queen"

Nailed it!
posted by calamari kid at 10:04 PM on February 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Here comes the right-wing shitstorm about the NFL hiring a known supporter of terrorists to sing at the super bowl.
posted by empath at 10:07 PM on February 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


All those dancers, enjoying their brief moments of fame. She will of course drain them of all life and leave seal their dried husks beneath her Tomb-Palace to reanimate as an army should Lady Gaga or Britney (ha!) or someone dare rise against her.

Also now she has won your Super Bowl and conqured your nation your flag is now a Rainbow and gay marriage is now compulsory. That's just how she rolls.
posted by Artw at 10:09 PM on February 5, 2012 [31 favorites]


Hey, remember Madonna? She had those great songs in the 1980s. And some in the 90s. Oh, and another album a decade or so ago. How is she relevant now? Why is The Entire halftime show a tribute to her past glory? She has a new song, or something. Or maybe it's a new mashup remix thing of one of heeer past hits.

*sparkles*

_ W O R L D _ P E A C E_
posted by filthy light thief at 10:11 PM on February 5, 2012 [15 favorites]


I saw this in a hospital TV room full of senior citizens who were not, shall we say, the appropriate audience. They didn't seem to be fans. A couple of nurses wanted to see Madonna, but they were too busy. Both of them asked if she looked good, and I said that she did, to their relief.

Loved that touchdown, btw! I was watching but didn't even realize what had happened until the replay.
posted by Kevin Street at 10:12 PM on February 5, 2012


I did not know what was going on during the cupid slack-rope situation -- the camera angle, the outfit, and the 'fro just made it...so awkward...I literally thought it was just a comic interlude with Will Ferrell until that ridiculously epic backflip! Holy F. If you can do a back flip off a rubber band that causes an audible gasp from the crowd during the Superbowl Halftime show, you have done a seriously epic backflip.
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 10:12 PM on February 5, 2012 [30 favorites]


i will say i've been sort of disappointed with madge over all the shade she's been throwing gaga and janet jackson's way. i think famous women are encouraged to be catty towards each other (especially the popstars), but i think she's been in the game long enough to have found a way around that.
posted by nadawi at 10:15 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I really don't care this much, honest, but we just liked it a lot; it was hard to remember a more fun and energetic halftime show. Anyway, Madonnarama has a roundup of early reviews, if you give a shit what mainstream newspaper critics think.
posted by mediareport at 10:15 PM on February 5, 2012


Way too much lip synching, as far as I'm concerned.

It's nearly impossible to have live performances in a venue like that. The echoes and sound reflections are hard to deal with, and the speakers required to combat that are probably time consuming to set up. Add to that the desire of the broadcasters to have a clean audio track, plus have things run on time, and you're going to have lip synching and dubbing all over, unless the artists get real fidgety about it.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:16 PM on February 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


fro rope dude in mid jump
posted by nadawi at 10:17 PM on February 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


...so awkward...

The up-toga angle on the camera was particularly perilous. We kept screaming, "Do Not Want" at the tv.
posted by jamaro at 10:17 PM on February 5, 2012 [12 favorites]


In a word: McDonna.
posted by hermitosis at 10:18 PM on February 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


well, madonna lip syncs that much at all her shows. as elton recently said (another person who could learn to be less catty), ""Make sure you lip-sync good."
posted by nadawi at 10:18 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


it was hard to remember a more fun and energetic halftime show.

Prince.
posted by empath at 10:19 PM on February 5, 2012 [68 favorites]


I would like to see a nice marching band at halftime.
posted by stargell at 10:19 PM on February 5, 2012 [55 favorites]


The slackrope thing was potentially cool, but the toga really stretched credibility. He's doing ninja shit with a sort of dorky vibe — don't highlight the dork, highlight the ninja.
posted by wemayfreeze at 10:20 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Prince and Springsteen both killed it.
posted by wemayfreeze at 10:20 PM on February 5, 2012 [14 favorites]


yes! prince! lots of people on twitter seemed to suggest that he just take the job permanently. i would totally be cool with that.
posted by nadawi at 10:21 PM on February 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


Cougar fail.
posted by pianomover at 10:21 PM on February 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


The whole performance seemed to resemble an over elaborate gift for a housewife on Real Housewives of the OC. With Madonna being the housewife. "You get to perform with a bunch of famous people like LMFAO and Nicki Minaj and MIA and stuff! And we've got a great dance for you too learn! Happy 50th honey!"
posted by crasiman at 10:23 PM on February 5, 2012 [15 favorites]


Hey, remember Madonna? She had those great songs in the 1980s. And some in the 90s. Oh, and another album a decade or so ago. How is she relevant now? Why is The Entire halftime show a tribute to her past glory?

Oooh, ooh, ooh - I know this one! It's because it's the fucking Super Bowl halftime show, not the Pitchfork Music Festival! Past-their-prime megastars are what it does! Be thankful it wasn't a long-overdue tribute to halftime itself!
posted by gompa at 10:25 PM on February 5, 2012 [38 favorites]


Still, the best performance this evening was by the Pats defense during Bradshaw's ass-backwards tumble into the end zone for the game winning TD. I could watch the gif 10,000 times, look at the Pats running around like mad pretending like they wanted to stop him.
posted by 2bucksplus at 10:25 PM on February 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


Madonna's litch powers where visible years before, whence kissed The Madien Spears and drained her of life and mind, leaving her an empty wreck haunted by Eldrich visions and howling madness.

Hail Dire Madonna, may her gaze always miss your form.
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 PM on February 5, 2012 [51 favorites]


Madonna's assault on the home planet of the Black Eyed Peas, immediatly after the show. In the carnage that followed none were spared.
posted by Artw at 10:26 PM on February 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


I would like to see a nice marching band at halftime.

The best part was the snare drum cadre. When they first came out I was like, 'yes! that is what half-time is all about! A drum line!' But, you know, they weren't no Blast! so it was a little disappointing.
posted by Lutoslawski at 10:26 PM on February 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


I totally missed this, but hah, MIA snuck in a bird.
posted by ericost at 10:26 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


review of by my son and his buddy, both 11:
"Who is madonna? Can we leave now, we want to play minecraft."
They were excited to learn latter that someone gave the finger, found this hilarious.
posted by chapps at 10:27 PM on February 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


Time for a true American icon to be invited to the Super Bowl halftime stage: Weird Al Yankovic.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 10:28 PM on February 5, 2012 [29 favorites]


I would like to see a nice marching band at halftime.

OK. The 1992 Super Bowl in Minneapolis featured the University of Minnesota Marching Band, among many other performers. As far as I know, it's the last time any SB half time show featured that level of spectacle. I'm not sure how many college level marching bands have done half time shows since then, but probably not very many, especially with a full band as opposed to a drum section.

Part 1
Part 2
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:29 PM on February 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


I mean, I understand why you might want to bring out M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj (for critical credibility and to get totally shown up, respectively). I just don't understand why you bring them out to sing Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne.

This wasn't Madonna performs at the halftime so much as the halftime has a Madonna-themed show. She managed to do a remarkably small amount of singing - I mean, when you call in a dude (even Cee-Lo) to sing your glory notes, you are past your prime), and her dancing consisted largely of other people waving her around. But as a Madonna-themed halftime show, it was okay. Not as good as her guests doing "Crazy", "Paper Planes", "Party Rock Anthem" and "Super Bass" with exactly as much over-the-top staging, but still.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:31 PM on February 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


Re: the ads: Was that the Hulk like 20 stories in the air punching things!?!?! omg I'm seeing the hell out of the Avengers movie.
posted by mstokes650 at 10:31 PM on February 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


Hey, remember Madonna? She had those great songs in the 1980s. And some in the 90s. Oh, and another album a decade or so ago. How is she relevant now? Why is The Entire halftime show a tribute to her past glory?

TPTB want safety, broad appeal, and eyeballs. Pop music is so fragmented these days that probably no one in their 30s can dominate the music scene the way Prince, Madonna, or MJ did at their prime. We're not going to get newer music until we get younger staff running the Super Bowl.

That said, Madonna is in a different league than Prince, and not quite up to the same level of entertainment that he is.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:33 PM on February 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also, if one person had to have a wardrobe malfunction where their top wouldn't stay closed, why, for the love of God, was it Cee-Lo?
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:34 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Sparkly world peace! That's certainly the first thing that comes to mind when I think "NFL".

Madonna - okay, I am old, and one of the things I appreciated most in a creepy way about Mads is she appeared to be made entirely of energy and rubber bands. Like Tigger, but stringier and more likely to be caught giving someone age-inappropriate a blowjob in a nightclub bathroom. This - Well, forgive me for pointing it out, but at least twice she needed to be helped up from kneeling. I am not saying I could ever have worn those boots at all, but it's Madonna. At 50 she could have done a backflip in those puppies. What happened to her in the last three years?
posted by gingerest at 10:35 PM on February 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


What happened to her in the last three years?

She got invited to join AARP?
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:38 PM on February 5, 2012 [7 favorites]


TPTB want safety, broad appeal, and eyeballs.

Do you all remember when Madonna was the anti-christ in the mid-80s? She was actually controversial. Now she's wholesome family entertainment.
posted by empath at 10:38 PM on February 5, 2012 [16 favorites]


It's funny; I'm not really a Madonna fan, pretty much only would listen to MIA or Cee-Lo out of that whole group of performers, but I was surprised to find this was the first half time show in years I didn't completely hate. It was visually interesting.
posted by Hoopo at 10:39 PM on February 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


"sinewy" the word you use to describe Mads these days is " sinewy" .

That or Cylon.
posted by The Whelk at 10:41 PM on February 5, 2012 [12 favorites]


Do you all remember when Madonna was the anti-christ in the mid-80s? She was actually controversial. Now she's wholesome family entertainment.

I do actually wonder about her closing on Like a Prayer - would that be causing anybody to freak out like it did in it's heyday? Or do they sing it at hipster church now?
posted by Artw at 10:42 PM on February 5, 2012 [7 favorites]


I've never seen a half-time show - Madonna took my virginity! She was so listless to start I was worried she might have a cold. The amateur camerawork was a real disappointment, now I have seen one I feel no need to ever seen another one.
posted by saucysault at 10:43 PM on February 5, 2012


Madonna used to be the go to celebrity to write about if you wanted controversy and readers. Now, not so much.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:44 PM on February 5, 2012


I am younger than Madonna and she made it painfully obvious to me that I need to introduce squats and lunges into my life. My knees hurt just watching that.
posted by MultiFaceted at 10:44 PM on February 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Say, she's kinda cute nowadays.
posted by Ardiril at 10:46 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I do actually wonder about her closing on Like a Prayer - would that be causing anybody to freak out like it did in it's heyday?

I was wondering the same thing during the show.
posted by asterix at 10:46 PM on February 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I thought it worked great as spectacle, dance, and lighting special effects (unlike the Black Eyed Peas last year, which was a complete choke.) I barely noticed the music, which is better than last year, but not a great advertisement for the show. Let's face it, Madonna's not a songwriter, or even a great song chooser (compared to, say, Linda Rondstadt or Emmy Lou Harris).
posted by msalt at 10:46 PM on February 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Or do they sing it at hipster church now?

at least as early as 2004, like a prayer was in heavy rotation of the sears store music. it used to be about blow jobs and now it's apparently about world peace. the world is weird when you start getting old.
posted by nadawi at 10:47 PM on February 5, 2012 [12 favorites]


Let me say that the new MIA video is pretty mind-blowing.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:49 PM on February 5, 2012 [25 favorites]


empath: "Do you all remember when Madonna was the anti-christ in the mid-80s? She was actually controversial. Now she's wholesome family entertainment."

I do remember. And it makes me feel incredibly old.

That said, I thought she was very entertaining during the halftime show.

Prince, Springsteen, and U2 all did outstanding halftime shows in past years.
posted by SisterHavana at 10:50 PM on February 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Like A Prayer came out while I was in (catholic) high school and it horrified everyone I knew over 30. Naturally, I loved it.
posted by desjardins at 10:50 PM on February 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


The amateur camerawork was a real disappointment, now I have seen one I feel no need to ever seen another one.

I'd imagine that the whole thing cost a couple of million dollars, what with staging, rehearsals for getting on and off the field, wrangling extras, and music and musician costs. Was the camerawork really that bad? It's not like they can always get the perfect camera angles, given how short a time they have to set things up.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:51 PM on February 5, 2012


Also I'm not sure the best way to end the show was to throw water on Madonna.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:52 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Melting! Melting!


Ohwhataworldwhatawaorld
posted by The Whelk at 10:55 PM on February 5, 2012 [8 favorites]


Let's face it, Madonna's not a songwriter, or even a great song chooser (compared to, say, Linda Rondstadt or Emmy Lou Harris).

She's decently talented, but her strongest skills seem to be in managing her career, and staying on top of leading pop music trends, and changing her music to fit. The performer most like her seems to be Lady Gaga (who has more musical talent).
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:59 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Wow, that's some Temple of Elemental Evil shit right there... Did Erol Otus do the costume design? (And if you don't know who Erol Otus is, you didn't actually play D&D in the 80's, you poser. )
posted by Catblack at 11:01 PM on February 5, 2012 [12 favorites]


The adventures of Madonna on the negative energy plane, go make it happen modded

It can fit into my idea that "Drive" actually takes place in the Fallout universe.
posted by The Whelk at 11:03 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


She was the most entertaining part of the game.
posted by captaincrouton at 11:06 PM on February 5, 2012


Also I'm not sure the best way to end the show was to throw water on Madonna.

Great, now she's going to sprout a bunch of slimy little Madonna-pods.


Or melt. I forget which one she does.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:09 PM on February 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


Lich queen? Looked more like a draugr cosplay.

Fus Ro Dah
posted by DaShiv at 11:12 PM on February 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


The Gagabuela was superb.
posted by psergio at 11:13 PM on February 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


Her lip-synch must have been acceptable -


RuPaul RuPaul
"#Madonna. Shante. U Stay. Condragulations!

posted by louche mustachio at 11:13 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Wasn't Q1 actually "Queen of the borderline pits?"
posted by Sphinx at 11:15 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Re: the ads: Was that the Hulk like 20 stories in the air punching things!?!?! omg I'm seeing the hell out of the Avengers movie.

2012 is looking to be a damn fine year for my patch of nerddom. Mass Effect 3, Cabin in the Woods, Avengers, and Legend of Korra, just to start. The new Dark Knight and The Hobbit should be good too.
posted by kmz at 11:19 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I couldn't watch. Just like 'Up With People,' not my bag.
posted by uraniumwilly at 11:24 PM on February 5, 2012


The guy on the slack line is named Andy Lewis. The slack line community is pretty proud of the guy for representing what we do to the public. It was not a slack rope or a tight wire. It is called a slack line.
posted by filchyboy at 11:25 PM on February 5, 2012 [17 favorites]


So you're saying it's a slack wire?
posted by cmonkey at 11:32 PM on February 5, 2012 [25 favorites]


thanks, filchyboy!
posted by nadawi at 11:33 PM on February 5, 2012


I'm sure it was fun, Madonna, but illuminati symbolism at the superbowl excites people who need to not be encouraged. It's not hard to find stuff like this:

BREAKING!! illuminati symbolism in Superbowl 2012 Halftime show

Did anyone else see the big eye made out of lights behind Madonna? did u see anything else?

Lot of new world order symbols in half time. Roman empire,devil horns, falling into pit, eye of odom,world peace. I'm sure there were more.


I mean, I hope it's not true, Madge.
posted by longsleeves at 11:41 PM on February 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I think I saw a Head of Vecna at one point.
posted by Artw at 11:44 PM on February 5, 2012 [11 favorites]


Do you all remember when Madonna was the anti-christ in the mid-80s? She was actually controversial. Now she's wholesome family entertainment.

I was confused that they actually chose Vogue as the song to play at the SB halftime, and then I remembered the tight uniforms that football players like to wear.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:47 PM on February 5, 2012


She's decently talented, but her strongest skills seem to be in managing her career, and staying on top of leading pop music trends, and changing her music to fit. The performer most like her seems to be Lady Gaga (who has more musical talent).

I remember back in the 90s, Bjork would do something totally cool and totally innovative, and 2 years later or so Madonna would roll out a watered-down version.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:49 PM on February 5, 2012 [8 favorites]


Popbitch claimed that for a while her people were calling her Oldfrapp, after the star she was imitating at the time.
posted by Artw at 11:50 PM on February 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


i've noticed a few pretty strong kylie minogue references from madonna over the last few weeks. i also can't think of anything besides toni basil when she "sings" her new single.
posted by nadawi at 11:54 PM on February 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


I felt kind of sad for Madonna when the crowd noticeably popped louder for LMFAO than they did for her. Also, Cee-Lo Green was doing Thulsa Doom cosplay, right?
posted by KingEdRa at 12:08 AM on February 6, 2012 [7 favorites]


i also can't think of anything besides toni basil when she "sings" her new single.

I got that reference too. When she started off with the throne and then holding on to the 2 posts, I was expecting a crystal encrusted zimmer frame to make an appearance.
posted by arcticseal at 12:12 AM on February 6, 2012


Saw this on The Last Psychiatrist's Twitter feed:
"The sooner America stops saying,"she looks great for her age" the sooner we colonize Mars. Start tonight."
Quite.
posted by Ryvar at 12:12 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Well, forgive me for pointing it out, but at least twice she needed to be helped up from kneeling.

I dunno (and doubt it happened in the last three years), but all those stage shows just like this halftime over the years, especially perhaps the stripper squats, have to have put her into redline blown knee territory. It doesn't matter how many personal trainers you have or how much you continue to work it, after forty these things just start to go.

Same with the vocal chords.

I do actually wonder about her closing on Like a Prayer - would that be causing anybody to freak out like it did in it's heyday?

TBH the freak-out was mainly about the religious imagery in the video, none of which was really present here (although she treated Cee-Lo a bit like the black saint, none of the iconography was around).

it used to be about blow jobs and now it's apparently about world peace.

Well, there are quite a few rock/pop songs that are "about" sex in some way that survive in large part because they have more mainstream interpretations as well. LaP has always been one of my favorite songs, and I didn't hear that theory for years.
posted by dhartung at 12:13 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


I just wanna know who it was at the meeting where they approved spending millions of dollars based on the pitch, "Then Madonna, wearing sort-of sun goddess robes, rides into the stadium sitting on a golden throne being drawn by a hundred oiled-up musclemen wearing Roman soldier costumes," that said, "Go on."
posted by ob1quixote at 12:29 AM on February 6, 2012 [17 favorites]


I don't give a fuck about Madonna. All I know is that I picked the Giants to win (+3.5) and PAY ME BEEYOTCH EASIEST PICK EVAR.

And now I'm coaching my oldest friend to play Skyrim so ha ha ha.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:31 AM on February 6, 2012 [6 favorites]


That's good, I'm glad they went for the, "throwing tons of shit at a target" strategy of halftime shows, since there's never, ever enough happening at those things. It shows that they really thought things through. Especially after the success of last year's idea of putting Slash and Fergie together. "Let's one-up that one!" I heard they say in the board room.

The Prince performance of Purple Rain where all it is, is Prince actually singing and then stopping and then actually playing the guitar? What a total flop.

I'm sure both MIA and LMFAO dreams came through as they were able to perform together. Acronym L.O.V.E.
posted by alex_skazat at 12:34 AM on February 6, 2012


Hey do you guys remember when the Super Bowl halftime show happened 5 or 6 other times since 2001 when the headline performers were older than Madonna and they sang songs that were popular longer ago than those Madonna sang and even though those men were also considered "real musicians" in a way <she isn't, they were still partially lip synching? I do, and I don't remember those dudes getting called out anywhere near as much for being old or looking old or lip syncing or grasping at past fame.

I, for one, think we'll be closer to colonizing Mars when we stop shitting on Madonna's respectable (read: awesome) pilates-yoga body, still pretty ground-breaking body of work, & much loved past popularity when we don't hold men like The Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, and The Who to even remotely similar beauty and age standards despite their particular Dorian Grey paintings being far more expired.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:37 AM on February 6, 2012 [113 favorites]


I was disappointed her new song is not, in fact, a cover of ZZ Top's Gimme All Your Lovin'.
posted by maggieb at 12:39 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


I get your meaning MCMikeNamara, but maybe the Stones and Aerosmith aren't the best examples here; people have never been shy about pointing out how ugly and/or haggard certain members of those bands look.
posted by Hoopo at 12:43 AM on February 6, 2012 [6 favorites]


"No copyright intended" is my new least favorite phrase.
posted by Praxis at 12:44 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


when we don't hold men like The Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, and The Who to even remotely similar beauty and age standards

i think i remember that differently than you do.
posted by nadawi at 12:50 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


lich queen Madonna

Great, now I want to play Icewind Dale/Baldur's Gate/Neverwinter Nights AGAIN.
posted by New England Cultist at 12:59 AM on February 6, 2012


Sparkly world peace! That's certainly the first thing that comes to mind when I think "NFL".

I had the "pleasure" of being in a Super Bowl crowd in which one fella loudly remarked, "World Peace? Yeah, right -- try telling that to al-Qaeda!"

(and then, because he didn't get the response he was hoping for, he said it again a little louder)
posted by straight at 12:59 AM on February 6, 2012 [7 favorites]


I was confused that they actually chose Vogue as the song to play at the SB halftime, and then I remembered the tight uniforms that football players like to wear.
posted by KokuRyu at 1:47 on February 6 [+] [!]


I first thought they were doing a spin on this fanvid for 300 done to Vogue.
posted by ZeusHumms at 1:04 AM on February 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


Madonna shufflin is actually pretty f'n cool.
posted by vicx at 1:05 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Let me say that the new MIA video is pretty mind-blowing.

Just watched it and it reminded me of the arab drift videos I watched about two years ago. You take a society with a lot of rules, a lot of young guys with money and nothing to do, and give them one outlet, CARS. This is what happens.
posted by vicx at 1:13 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Prince, Springsteen, and U2 all did outstanding halftime shows in past years.

U2 subtle as ever in 2002 (just a few months after 9/11) ... but it was good.
posted by philip-random at 1:30 AM on February 6, 2012


Hooplo; I'm with you in regards to how Aerosmith has been also been ragged for their haggardness, but as nadawi's link showed, even when they were criticized for their performances, and were maybe too old to be paired with the partners they were grinding on (like a 10 years ago Britney Spears), it wasn't almost always a primary focus of the criticism.

I'm not saying that criticism of the acts in Super Bowl and their not-quite-on-the-pulse-of-pop-culture isn't a valid point (though it is so like tradition that it's like saying the commercials are overpriced or the pregame is overlong); it's just that I'm uncomfortable with the focus of much of the criticism of Madonna when compared to her also older fellow past headliners.

Despite addressing this comment to Hoopo, I don't think we are actually disagreeing; I just hoped to clarify what I was trying to say. I also don't think commenting on - or even joking about - Madonna's age is out of bounds - just that her performance should be appreciated because of rather than in spite of it. Perhaps that's odd or even hypocritica,l and maybe in the post-superbowl-party sober light of day tomorrow, I'll be better able to rationally explain my strong-for-somebody-who-doesn't-call-himself-a-fan Madonna opinions(/defensiveness) - but it's going on a quarter of a century so I wouldn't count on it.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:52 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


More Ali G, less Maradonna! More Cirque du Soleil, less guns, bling and bitches shakin'theirass.
posted by elpapacito at 2:00 AM on February 6, 2012


I am reeaaallly tired of having to listen to Nicki Minaj do a reeaaallly shitty impression of Slick Rick. Makes me want to time travel back to 1989 and tell my young self "Hey, don't worry about it. You can't rap worth a damn, but in 20 some odd years a young woman will explode onto the pop scene using the same shitty flow you use right now!"
posted by P.o.B. at 2:02 AM on February 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


BitterOldPunk: "All I know is that I picked the Giants to win [...] And now I'm coaching my oldest friend to play Skyrim so ha ha ha."

1up.com uses Skyrim to predict the Super Bowl.
posted by vanar sena at 2:06 AM on February 6, 2012


Whatever you thought of the halftime show, at least it wasn't Nickleback.
posted by imjustsaying at 2:29 AM on February 6, 2012 [6 favorites]


M.I.A. coming back with power power (power power!)
posted by Houyhnhnm at 2:33 AM on February 6, 2012


Feh. This guy was 60 and did all his own choreography, and didn't lip-sync.

And now we can tell where my music allegiances leaned when I was a wee lass in the 1980's.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:38 AM on February 6, 2012 [9 favorites]


I couldn't help thinking that, had Madonna had the opportunity to do the Superbowl twenty years ago, she would have chosen not to wear underwear, and the uproar would've been way crazier than the Janet Jackson thing.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 2:40 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was going to make a joke about how Madonna is older than the Superbowl, but it turns out pretty much every halftime headliner has been older than the Superbowl, except for the Black Eyed Peas last year.

In 1983, the year of Madge's first album, the Superbowl halftime entertainment was provided by The Los Angeles Super Drill Team, who put on a show called "KaleidoSUPERscope". Such quaint and simple times those were.
posted by i_have_a_computer at 3:03 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Inappropriate and offensive.
posted by Meatafoecure at 3:04 AM on February 6, 2012


it turns out pretty much every halftime headliner has been older than the Superbowl, except for the Black Eyed Peas last year.

I've a hunch there were also some members of Up With People at one point or another who were younger than the super bowl...
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:14 AM on February 6, 2012


I made a Facebook post when the half ended: "Prepare to go back to the mid-80s; you won't be able to go anywhere without hearing Madonna, and Skeletor's on TV."

Well, it's like she read my reference to "Masters of the Universe," because Madonna came on and she was dressed like Teela.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:14 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


This whole discussion reminds me of the saying, "men age gracefully; women just age". Bono is only two years younger than Madonna, but I have yet to see people wondering if he needs a zimmer frame. Oy.
posted by fight or flight at 3:25 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Inappropriate and offensive.
posted by Meatafoecure at 11:04 AM on February 6


Oh God.
posted by Decani at 3:30 AM on February 6, 2012


I know, I was waiting for the wardrobe malfunction and it never came! What a cockblock.
posted by mek at 3:42 AM on February 6, 2012


She's 53.


Next year can we have Elton?
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 3:46 AM on February 6, 2012


Man, that was pretty lame. If you need elaborate costumes, staging and sets, along with a platoon dancers who move much better than you, then don't put on a show.

If, on the other hand, you can rock the show with just you and a guitar, you are a bonafide star.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:49 AM on February 6, 2012


Who is this Madonna person and does anyone still care about her?

GO GIANTS!

GO GIANTS!

GO GIANTS!

GO GIANTS!
posted by caddis at 4:20 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


butt touchdown = all class, all the time
posted by Sticherbeast at 4:27 AM on February 6, 2012 [8 favorites]


She shoulda brought the '85 Chicago Bears out to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.
posted by duffell at 4:28 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Hate to throw some football into all the Madonna - MIA mix here, but there was a reason that final touchdown came off like that -- he didn't actually want to score at that point in the game.

The Giants were trying to play down the clock to the point where the Pats would be left with no time to come back and score. At that point, the Giants were positioning to score a game-winning field goal and the Pats' defence actually opened a hole to let that Giants ball-carrier into the end zone and stop the clock (because it made no difference to the Pats whether the Giants scored a touchdown or field goal. They would need a touchdown to win either way and they just wanted to get the clock back as quickly as possible.)

When the Giants running back realized where he'd got to -- courtesy of a suddenly porous Pats defence, he frantically tried to stop himself RIGHT ON the goal line and fall FORWARD back onto the playing field at the 1, which would have left the clock still running down, allowing the Giants to kick the winning field goal and leave scant seconds for the Pats to come back.

Unfortunately his own momentum -- despite his having turned a complete 180 -- worked against him and carried him butt-first into the end zone. Looked ungainly as hell and no doubt will be remembered as a stupid bit of show-boating when the guy should be canonized for making that kind of effort to keep the clock alive.

As it was, it triggered just about the tensest 57 seconds in Superbowl history as Brady tried to engineer one more bit of heroics.
posted by Mike D at 4:35 AM on February 6, 2012 [41 favorites]


IIiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIII'M 50!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:38 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


It's times like these that I can almost believe Neil Gaiman was right in American Gods. There was an ecstatic desperation in her expression sometimes that really felt like she was feeding off the worship of the crowd. Eldrich energy indeed.
posted by scalefree at 4:41 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


I was surprised at how, well, clothed Madonna was. It was fun explaining to my 11 year old son who she was and how she'd gotten there. He was not impressed. Then again, he's been listening to a lot of Vivaldi in his room these days, so clearly he was not the intended audience.

Oh, and I made a cheeky post on my church's Facebook page that our choir should adopt the robes from Like a Prayer. I'm waiting for someone to take me seriously.
posted by Biblio at 4:43 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well, it's like she read my reference to "Masters of the Universe," because Madonna came on and she was dressed like Teela.


OH MY LORD YES THAT'S IT.

Or possibly the dark palette swap for Sophitia from SoulCalibur.

Looking at this, you know who might be our great lost SuperBowl half time presenter? Tim Curry.
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:47 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Do you all remember when Madonna was the anti-christ in the mid-80s? She was actually controversial. Now she's wholesome family entertainment.

I thought that myself. Having seen her on Letterman recently, I got the impression that she has finally grown up a little and gained some humility. Last night, she seemed genuinely interested in putting on a good show for the people. I just wish she (or the NFL) would have not gone with so many co stars. I liked the moment with LMFAO, but the rest were a waste of time. Then again, I can't stand CeeLo, so maybe that clouded it.

I also loved the graphics thing they did on the field. Especially when the "field" warped and got sucked under the stage.

Someone on Facebook mentioned that they shot the video in 24p for the halftime show, and that's why it looked somewhat "dreamlike", and blamed it on Madonna's vanity (wanting her performance to look film-like). I just thought it made it look like CGI.
posted by gjc at 4:53 AM on February 6, 2012


(because it made no difference to the Pats whether the Giants scored a touchdown or field goal. They would need a touchdown to win either way and they just wanted to get the clock back as quickly as possible.)

No, it made a difference. The Giants could have run the clock down to about 20 seconds left, and the Pats would have no timeouts, and would need roughly 50 yards or so to get into FG range (they would have been losing by 1 if the Giants scored a field goal).

The other option was to let them score, leave 57 seconds and a timeout for yourself to get a TD. Belichick made the right choice.
posted by King Bee at 5:04 AM on February 6, 2012


If he was still alive, I have no doubt Elvis would be doing the Superbowl half-time show, and the nation would weep as one...
posted by blue_beetle at 5:05 AM on February 6, 2012


I'm not sure if the surround mix was just bad or my receiver setup is wonky (although this is the only time I've noticed this), but the rear channels were 250ms or more behind the fronts, and really, really loud. It was like they hung mics at the far edges of the crowd and just pumped them into the rear channels and said, "That'll do." Really distracting.

That said, I did enjoy LMFAO and the slack line work.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:08 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


W.
T.
F.
MADONNA?
posted by creeky at 5:14 AM on February 6, 2012


The slackrope thing was potentially cool, but the toga really stretched credibility. He's doing ninja shit with a sort of dorky vibe — don't highlight the dork, highlight the ninja.

I thought he looked like a more acrobatic, if less priapic, version of the guy in the opening scene of Caligula. When they had the camera doing the upskirt shot on him, I was sure we were going to have our costume error moment, but luckily that didn't happen.
posted by Forktine at 5:18 AM on February 6, 2012


I loved Andy Ihnatko's take on Twitter:
Madonna's halftime show looks like the part of the school dance when the chaperones start dancing & the kids look away awkwardly.
posted by tommasz at 5:18 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Well, I may be the only MeFite to think so, but I really enjoyed the half-time show this year; usually I find them tedious and annoying, but this year I was very impressed.

In my mind it was the best since Prince and in my opinion those are he only two half-time shows worthing talking about (I am not a Springsteen fan, so while his performance was good, it doesn't give me that all-american feeing of awesomeness that seems to follow in the wake of his shows).

Anyways, I am surprised by all the negative comments; the superbowl is the premier event in our culture of consumerism and marketing, what did you expect?
posted by Vindaloo at 5:24 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Hmph. You want marching drummers in a big show? You want Prince at the MTV awards in '87 (about a minute from the end), a show I'm sure the producers of this have seen ...
posted by Len at 5:25 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Artw: "I do actually wonder about her closing on Like a Prayer - would that be causing anybody to freak out like it did in it's heyday? Or do they sing it at hipster church now?"

My minister is actually a big Madonna fan and occasionally will slip a few quotes from songs in his sermons.

Why yes, I am a Unitarian, how did you guess?
posted by octothorpe at 5:26 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


I think I saw a Head of Vecna at one point.

Best trick Vecna ever played.

(see Eye of and Hand of, installation...)
posted by eriko at 5:28 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


No, it made a difference. The Giants could have run the clock down to about 20 seconds left, and the Pats would have no timeouts, and would need roughly 50 yards or so to get into FG range (they would have been losing by 1 if the Giants scored a field goal).

The other option was to let them score, leave 57 seconds and a timeout for yourself to get a TD. Belichick made the right choice.


Well, they lost, so I'm not sure it was exactly the right choice. But my opinion is biased, I absolutely hate Belichick and that kind of gamesmanship. Clock management is fine, but purposefully letting the other team score crosses some kind of line in my head. (As would purposefully not scoring, had the Giants player not scored on that play.)

Also, I really enjoyed (schadenfreude) seeing Belichick shoving people around on his angry march across the field to congratulate the other side. And then how he wouldn't come out to do his post game interview.
posted by gjc at 5:31 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


I think there's a rule that, if you perform as the featured act in the Super Bowl, you have officially lost your currency and begun heading out to pasture.



Also, I'm given to understand by those in a position to know that the Super Bowl halftime music is always synched and never played live. Too many variables. Too many things that can go wrong. Too much likelihood that it will sound like crap on TV.
posted by slkinsey at 5:32 AM on February 6, 2012


The sheer shamelessness of ending the show with 'world peace' absolutely astounds me.

Just, wow.
posted by knapah at 5:38 AM on February 6, 2012 [11 favorites]


Too much likelihood that it will sound like crap on TV.

I'm pretty sure that not even the world's best directional mike would have been able to pick up her voice over two marching drum corps.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 5:42 AM on February 6, 2012


It was fun explaining to my 11 year old son who she was and how she'd gotten there.

I remember when "Holiday" was becoming a radio hit. So to see her performing at the Super Bowl would have felt like coming full circle even if the new single being promoted wasn't a remake of "Mickey".

I provided play-by-play to Mrs. Trurl during the medley. "That song is 20 years old. 10 years old. 25 years old."
posted by Trurl at 5:45 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


Funnily enough, re: "Mickey", I was thinking that in a parallel universe the half-time show this year was by Toni Basil. Which I somehow imagine would be simultaneously far more athletic and also far more sinister.
posted by running order squabble fest at 5:51 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


he frantically tried to stop himself RIGHT ON the goal line and fall FORWARD back onto the playing field at the 1,

I can't imagine the strength of the instinct to CROSS THE GOAL LINE an NFL running back in the Super Bowl would have to fight against to even try doing what he tried to do.
posted by straight at 5:52 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


YAAAAY GIANTS!!!!
posted by jonmc at 5:54 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


I think there's a rule that, if you perform as the featured act in the Super Bowl, you have officially lost your currency and begun heading out to pasture.

I think Madonna has been heading out to pasture for a few years now. She looked like she was desperately afraid of breaking a hip.

Also, I'm given to understand by those in a position to know that the Super Bowl halftime music is always synched and never played live. Too many variables. Too many things that can go wrong. Too much likelihood that it will sound like crap on TV.

When Prince performed at the Super Bowl in 2007 he did sing live, allegedly.
posted by fuse theorem at 5:55 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Feh. This guy yt was 60 and did all his own choreography, and didn't lip-sync.

Uh-oh, surprise tears at my desk seeing that silhouette of Clarence Clemons against Bruce.
posted by gladly at 5:57 AM on February 6, 2012 [6 favorites]


When the Giants running back realized where he'd got to -- courtesy of a suddenly porous Pats defence, he frantically tried to stop himself RIGHT ON the goal line and fall FORWARD back onto the playing field at the 1, which would have left the clock still running down, allowing the Giants to kick the winning field goal and leave scant seconds for the Pats to come back.

Which is DUMB.

You NEVER EVER EVER trade six *certain* points for three possible points. Never. Ever. No.

Yes, up by one with ten seconds is better than up by four with 60 seconds left, but sometimes, the kicker misses, and down by one with 10 seconds means you just lost the game. And, of course, if you make the two point conversion, you're now up by six, which means the PAT becomes critical for the other team. Of course, this why NYG tried it.)

The Giants defense was doing pretty well against the Patriot's offense, and they'd have to go from the 20* to the endzone to win. Because he scored a touchdown, a field goal wasn't enough. The Pats had 57 seconds and only one time out. Brady was averaging 6.7 yards, rushing was averaging 4 yards, but you'd gotten three sacks, three TFL, and hit Brady six more times.

I'll take that bet any day of the week. But it doesn't matter who it is, you take the certain six, always. The only reason not to score in that situation is when you hold the lead and you can just run the clock without scoring.

I know what he was thinking, but thankfully for him, his mass was smarter than he was and carried him into the end zone. When inertia is outthinking you....

The key notes of this game:

1) Giants won the possession battles, 37 minutes of 23. Brady on the sidelines is a Brady who can't score.

2) No Giants turnovers (vs. one INT for the Pats) though lo they tried.

3) Surprise! More yards-per-pass for the Giants!

4) No truly stupid penalties, unlike, say, 12 men on the field on 3rd and 3 at your own 11**, or of course, forgetting that the Back Judge is not an eligible receiver† The box score doesn't really tell the tale. The 4 for 24 yards of the NYG is a stellar performance, and the 5 for 28 of the Pats would normally be stellar as well, except two of those penalties basically handed NYG 9 points, and the game.

5) Other than Hernandez, NYG basically shut down the NE TEs. Other than Welker, they *completely* shut down the NE WRs. The other TD pass went to a running back.

Tight game, but fundamentally, to be honest, the Giants didn't win this game so much as NE lost it through bad penalties, but the Giants did keep it close enough for NE to lose. And that's all you can ask of a defense. 17 points in the modern era is a *very* credible performance.





* Do not risk a runback. Put the ball deep in the end zone and make them start from the 20.

** This penalty turned out to be a killer. The ball was fumbled and recovered by NE, so at the end of the play, NYG would have had nothing this trip. The penalty gives the ball back to NYG and a first and goal at the NE 6, resulting in a TD.

Basically, being unable to count cost the Patriots 7 points and the game. Of course, NYG tried to hand that particular penalty back at the end of the game...

† This one, of course, gives the Giants 2 points, and leads to the scoring drive mentioned above. Safeties on Penalties are almost always a mistake, and if you're going to pass, you need to roll and pass, get the hell out of the tackle box -- which makes the Back Judge, well, at least legal if not eligible. I was very surprised by this, Brady is usually much more aware of the situation than this.
posted by eriko at 6:04 AM on February 6, 2012 [7 favorites]


Purposely letting the other team score, especially in the Superb Owl, is hubris of a fairly high order. It only pays off if you can actually get that Hail Mary when you need it.

The best part was right after the butt touchdown, when one of the announcers said, "Belichick has 'em right where he wants 'em!" Big laugh after that line at our admittedly pro-Giants party.

Yes, the Pats could have taken advantage of the clock at that point, I understand that the Giants had really been shooting for just eating the clock, but it's not as if having, let alone letting, the Giants lap the Pats in the tail of the fourth quarter was a big "win."

My own read, which of course I think is the better read because it is my read, is that Belichick made a gigantic mistake when he thought that the Pats pulling off a last-minute minute was so much more likely than the Pats preventing a TD, that they consciously allowed the Giants score a potentially-winning TD. That's bonkers! Why would you do that! Yes, I know that there was a chance it could have worked, but putting in an effort for defense would have worked as well!

I dunno. It seems like Belichick was so entranced by lateral thinking that he forgot the basics. Get the ball in the goal, prevent the other guy from getting the ball in the goal. Don't get too caught up trying to be "clever."

Then again, the Giants were pulling the same crap when they were just trying to run down the clock, delaying even the easiest of TDs. But then again, running down the clock is a perfectly valid move, with a long history...it's just a matter of degree between running a bunch of short plays as a matter of strategy, and trying unsuccessfully to land your butt on the one yard line.

Great game either way, hats off to both teams. The Pats had a stronger season, but the Giants actually won the game.

...

As for Madonna, I thought that was one of the better half-time shows in recent memory, right up there with Prince. It wasn't "good" "music", but it was a truly neat spectacle. It was memorable and ridiculous. Just like Madge.

Also, Nicki Minaj outshone M.I.A., like the sun versus a turtle. Nicki Minaj is the Troll Queen of Pop, and I'm okay with this, whereas M.I.A. has seemed too low-energy for a while now, which is a shame. She needs to get a new producer.
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:06 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


The sheer shamelessness of ending the show with 'world peace' absolutely astounds me.

Just, wow.


Yeah, it was too camp and over-the-top, even for a guy like Skeletor.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 6:07 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


When Prince performed at the Super Bowl in 2007 he did sing live, allegedly.

So did Springsteen. And The Who. And The Stones. And Paul McCartney.

Lip-syncing is cheating, innit? Especially if you're a "singer". (Madonna's boots rocked, though.)
posted by Benny Andajetz at 6:13 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


review of by my son and his buddy, both 11:
"Who is madonna? Can we leave now, we want to play minecraft."


I explained it to my three year old as, "Eh, she's like Lady Gaga's mom."
posted by artychoke at 6:15 AM on February 6, 2012 [15 favorites]


For me, the underlying meta-fun of the whole halftime show was simply the idea of Madonna performing in the capitol of one of the most aggressively conservative and evangelical states north of the Mason-Dixon line. I have to admit, when I first heard that she was going to be the halftime show, I was perplexed..ss if someone had made a huge booking mistake. Surely, they meant to book Taylor Swift!?!?!?

As a life-long Hoosier, her appearance here tickled me greatly, even if she doesn't really stir as much actual controversy (if any) as she once did. There are still many people here for whom Madonna evokes as much spit-on-the-ground revulsion akin to the mention of Jane Fonda.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:19 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


The Super Bowl halftime show is the Branson, Missouri of rock 'n' roll.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:23 AM on February 6, 2012 [9 favorites]


No truly stupid penalties, unlike, say, 12 men on the field on 3rd and 3 at your own 11**, or of course, forgetting that the Back Judge is not an eligible receiver

That twelve men on the field penalty against the Patriots was astounding. Usually, when you get one of those it's because someone got caught running off the field too slowly, but that looked like they had 12 guys lined up, ready to go. It wasn't a mistake so much as it was a formation from Canadian football.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:24 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


I, for one, thought she was channeling (deliberately or otherwise) Maude Lebowski.

Me too--I kept hoping to see Jeff Bridges saunter onstage in a cable repair jumpsuit, carrying a bowling ball.
posted by A dead Quaker at 6:30 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


I think my favorite part was when she was sucked into stage at the end, as though she was returning to the bowels of Isengard where she was bred by Saruman.
posted by Dr. Zira at 6:35 AM on February 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


"Tee hee Betty White is talking about sex again! That's so cu--oh my god would you look at Madonna? GROSS!"
posted by beaucoupkevin at 6:40 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


My own read, which of course I think is the better read because it is my read, is that Belichick made a gigantic mistake when he thought that the Pats pulling off a last-minute minute was so much more likely than the Pats preventing a TD, that they consciously allowed the Giants score a potentially-winning TD. That's bonkers! Why would you do that! Yes, I know that there was a chance it could have worked, but putting in an effort for defense would have worked as well!

Given the situation, Belichick made the only correct decision.

If the Giants do the smart thing in that situation -- two straight-ahead line bucks with snipers ready to shoot any ball carrier at the 1-yard-line -- it doesn't MATTER what kind of defense New England uses. It's irrelevant. It's not great defense to stop someone from getting into the end zone who _doesn't want to get there_. New England uses all of their timeouts, the clock ticks down to around 15-20 seconds to go, and the Giants then have a kick to make that is roughly the same as a point-after-touchdown attempt.

Giants kicker Lawrence Tynes's PAT success rate in the last four seasons: 100%. 134 for 134. He's missed 6 out of 317 in his entire career. While lots of things can go wrong on even a routine kick, me? I don't like those odds.

By doing what he did -- ordering the defense to part like the Red Sea -- the Patriots gave up the lead but faced a quite doable one-minute drill AND saved one timeout. Brady and Co. had a very viable chance to execute their offense and win the game; they didn't, but the opportunity was there.
posted by delfin at 6:41 AM on February 6, 2012 [8 favorites]


Seriously, I thought the sheer spectacle of the thing was impressive.

The video screens were great, much more interesting that Madonna, MIA, Cee Lo or the number of crappy ads.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:41 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Giants may have avoided some stupid penalties, but Eli did waste some (which turned out to be meaningless) timeouts avoiding delays of game.

Also, Coughlin lining up 12 men ready to go with 17 seconds is pure genius. Yeah, it's against the rules, but now you have 12 men to defend their 11. You should stop them, but then they get the penalty; a measly 5 yards and 8 seconds drained off the clock.

Belichick made a gigantic mistake when he thought that the Pats pulling off a last-minute minute was so much more likely than the Pats preventing a TD, that they consciously allowed the Giants score a potentially-winning TD. That's bonkers!

No, he was convinced that they would prevent the TD and get the ball with something like only 20 seconds, down by 1, with no timeouts and needing 50 yards and a long field goal (which, as you mentioned, are not certain). Yes, maybe Tynes misses the easy boot somehow, but I'm looking at the 2011 stats across the board, and I count only about 9 missed FGs between 20 and 29 yards, out of the 296 taken. That's about 3%. That essentially means that Tynes is going to make that kick.
posted by King Bee at 6:46 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


I watched the Puppy Bowl at halftime.
posted by Splunge at 6:50 AM on February 6, 2012


Splunge: "I watched the Puppy Bowl at halftime"

Piggy pep squad: Pure genius.
posted by Dr. Zira at 6:53 AM on February 6, 2012


Yes, up by one with ten seconds is better than up by four with 60 seconds left, but sometimes, the kicker misses, and down by one with 10 seconds means you just lost the game.

No offense, but this just flat-out doesn't make sense. If you can engineer scenario A with a higher winning probability than scenario B, you should select scenario A--and hardly anyone familiar with football would argue that being down 1 with 1 second to go and a 19 yard field goal to kick is not a better situation for an NFL team than being up 6 with the other team having the ball and a minute to play. A pro kicker in a dome is easily a 98% success rate (being conservative). Even if you assume Brady only has a 4% chance of driving the team down the field successfully for a touchdown (also conservative), by not taking the knee you double the chance you lose the game (I think more realistic figures move you into the five or ten times more likely you lose). It's a powerful bias--coaches simply do not like to, as you say, "lose the game"--but unless you believe Tynes is absolutely massively more likely to "choke" than his history would indicate, it's definitely not a good idea. Belichick was right.
posted by dsfan at 6:54 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think my favorite part was when she was sucked into stage at the end, as though she was returning to the bowels of Isengard

I thought of this as the "Don Giovanni being dragged to hell by the Commendatore" finish.

Come to think of it, DG also ends with a sparkly WORLD PEACE - in its way.
posted by Trurl at 6:54 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Not sure if Madonna does an entire bathtub full of virgin blood, but she definitely dips her arms in.
posted by bardic at 6:55 AM on February 6, 2012


I watched the Puppy Bowl at halftime.

We kept bouncing back and forth between the game and the Puppy Bowl. Personally, I think the PB has lost a lot of its "awwwww, puppies!!!!" factor. It's too well-produced now. When it began, it was more "pour a bunch of puppies together and put a couple of cameras on them". Now, it seems too slick and edited, with player profiles and annoying, constant play-by-play voice-over.

Still...it's freakin' puppies!!!!
posted by Thorzdad at 6:56 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


I didn't watch the halftime show, but getting up this morning I half expected everyone to be blind, like something out of a John Wyndham novel.

Pass over, O Dread Madonna
Cast your wondrous gaze elsewhere
Spare me and pass over
Cause me not to labor eternally in your steam factories
Nor make me a plaything to cavort in your palaces of madness
I have read the prophesies and made obeisances
I have anointed the idols and presented offerings
I have assumed the prescribed ritual postures
If a sacrifice is wanted, it shall be given
I am flawed and imperfect in your eyes- cast your gaze upon another
Spare this insignificant creature!
Pass over, O Dread One! I beseech you, pass over!
*grovels*

posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:01 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


We kept bouncing back and forth between the game and the Puppy Bowl. Personally, I think the PB has lost a lot of its "awwwww, puppies!!!!" factor. It's too well-produced now. When it began, it was more "pour a bunch of puppies together and put a couple of cameras on them". Now, it seems too slick and edited, with player profiles and annoying, constant play-by-play voice-over.

Still...it's freakin' puppies!!!!


It's too much about the spectacle, and not enough about the puppies playing football. People watch who never watch another puppy football game all season, and all they want to see is the commericals. I bet we'll never see a cold weather Puppy Bowl, even though that's what January puppy football is about; puppies leaving it all on the field, in the snow and the mud and the cold. It's a shame, really. I'll keep focusing on the puppy football conference championship games, that's where the really great games happen; I'll watch the Puppy Bowl, but as a Puppy Football fan, it doesn't mean as much to me.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:01 AM on February 6, 2012 [28 favorites]


Wow, that's some Temple of Elemental Evil shit right there... Did Erol Otus do the costume design? (And if you don't know who Erol Otus is, you didn't actually play D&D in the 80's, you poser. )

Understanding such a link is may be why the 'lich' references.

Because otherwise one is reinforcing the Hollywood idea that older women are somehow undesirable. And such behaviour should get shouted down by the -ism police on Metafilter no?

Don't see the sexism based on age? Think about it - Hollywood has how many roles for older male actors and how many for older female actors?
posted by rough ashlar at 7:02 AM on February 6, 2012


Is this where I can say I kinda liked the Flo Rida/The Cult mashup, and by "kinda liked", I mean "found the video on You Tube and danced around my living room in one-minute chunks"?
posted by Lucinda at 7:04 AM on February 6, 2012 [6 favorites]


I kept waiting for her arm veins to burst forth and devour everyone like in Akira
posted by Renoroc at 7:05 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


I thought that ad for Beckham's tattoos was very well done.
posted by Dr. Zira at 7:07 AM on February 6, 2012 [6 favorites]


artychoke: "I explained it to my three year old as, "Eh, she's like Lady Gaga's mom.""

I would have said that she looks like she could have been Portia De Rossi's mom. I'd never noticed the resemblance before last night, but it's absolutely uncanny.
posted by schmod at 7:10 AM on February 6, 2012


Lot of new world order symbols in half time. Roman empire,devil horns, falling into pit, eye of odom,world peace. I'm sure there were more.

Let's play "One of these things is not like the other." !!
posted by odinsdream at 7:14 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


It's hard to pick the worst ad but my vote is in for the company that said women will put out if you buy them flowers.

Was anyone else surprised at Eli as MVP? Our party was hoping it would be the punter or Mario Manningham for that excellent catch.
posted by troika at 7:15 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


K, went to YouTube and watched a couple of minutes. Eh. whatevs. I didn't hate it. Not like the Prince one I was forced to watch by all of my fanboy friends. THAT was major suckage. IMHO the most you can hope for in SB half time shows is that they don't suck your soul out through your eyeballs. Let's not even get into the stupid sporting event that surrounds it.
posted by evilDoug at 7:15 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


I loved how Madonna actually looked like she was enjoying herself when LMFAO showed up. "Yay! Time for some low-impact fuckaroundmanship!"
posted by charred husk at 7:19 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


It's nearly impossible to have live performances in a venue like that. The echoes and sound reflections are hard to deal with, and the speakers required to combat that are probably time consuming to set up. Add to that the desire of the broadcasters to have a clean audio track, plus have things run on time, and you're going to have lip synching and dubbing all over, unless the artists get real fidgety about it.

The ghost of Ethel Merman laughs cacophonously at such ideas.
posted by IAmBroom at 7:20 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


I just wanna know who it was at the meeting where they approved spending millions of dollars based on the pitch, "Then Madonna, wearing sort-of sun goddess robes, rides into the stadium sitting on a golden throne being drawn by a hundred oiled-up musclemen wearing Roman soldier costumes," that said, "Go on."

ob1quixote, these are the same people who greenlighted the rock'em sock'em robots movie. And (everyothermoviethatsold)-III.
posted by IAmBroom at 7:22 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


So who's left to do next year's half-time show? Have they gone through every possible seventies and eighties mainstream act yet?
posted by octothorpe at 7:23 AM on February 6, 2012


So these stadium spectacular style shows happen at half time? Isn't that kind of distracting? What about match analysis? Don't the performers churn up the pitch?
posted by Summer at 7:23 AM on February 6, 2012


Don't the performers churn up the pitch?

The only way you'll churn up Astroturf is with a backhoe.
posted by PenDevil at 7:26 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


This whole discussion reminds me of the saying, "men age gracefully; women just age". Bono is only two years younger than Madonna, but I have yet to see people wondering if he needs a zimmer frame. Oy.

fight or flight, to be fair: Bono hasn't made sexy, daring reveals of his body a linchpin of his entire career, video after video (and books, too!)

I can't call all the "looks good for her age" stuff sexism. Springsteen got the same comments. And when Aretha (She Who Must Be Shown Respect) sang at Obama's inauguration, the commentary wasn't on how she no longer looked young; it was honest awe at her voice (in spite of age + cold) and The Hat.

Likewise, when a former male sexpot ages badly (chubby Val Kilmer, for instance), it garners plenty of criticism. Maybe it's true for either gender...

So:
Kylie Minogue: likely to be always judged on her looks, since she's built her career on them.
Gaga: less likely, since she's built her career on shock, some of which is sexy.
posted by IAmBroom at 7:36 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


Did Erol Otus do the costume design?

Givenchy, apparently.
posted by immlass at 7:36 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


So these stadium spectacular style shows happen at half time? Isn't that kind of distracting? What about match analysis?

I'm pretty sure that 90 percent of the super bowl audience couldn't care less about what Tony Dungy thinks about the Giants' rushing game.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 7:38 AM on February 6, 2012


So these stadium spectacular style shows happen at half time? Isn't that kind of distracting? What about match analysis? Don't the performers churn up the pitch?

Halftime at the Super Bowl is 30 minutes, the show is 12 minutes. The analysis happens while the stage is being set up and torn down. If there is something that will ruin the grass, they put down temporary staging. But in this case, it's fancy astroturf and not necessary.

Also, on natural grass fields, ruining the grass isn't that big of a deal. It will often be replaced with sod after the game anyway.

American Football can be viewed as sort of two games being played back to back. The scoring is summed, but players and coaches look at it as two separate events. So they appreciate the halftime to get re-set for the next "game".
posted by gjc at 7:40 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Lich queen? Looked more like a draugr cosplay.

Her last costume appeared and all I thought was "Adept Necromancer...better summon the atronach."
posted by jquinby at 7:41 AM on February 6, 2012


So who's left to do next year's half-time show? Have they gone through every possible seventies and eighties mainstream act yet?

On to the Nineties! Are the members of Smash Mouth still alive?
posted by cyphill at 7:41 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


It's hard to pick the worst ad but my vote is in for the company that said women will put out if you buy them flowers.

As a heterosexual man, I'll just say that I appreciated that ad, while acknowledging that it was pretty offensive.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:44 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


If there is something that will ruin the grass, they put down temporary staging. But in this case, it's fancy astroturf and not necessary.

It's actually FieldTurf. The difference in composition and feel is striking. AstroTurf is basically a nasty outdoor carpet with a tight weave. FieldTurf is made a bit differently, and safer to run on.
posted by ZeusHumms at 7:45 AM on February 6, 2012


So who's left to do next year's half-time show? Have they gone through every possible seventies and eighties mainstream act yet?

The 2013 game is in New Orleans. Make your own list of faded/aging blues/jazz/etc. artists, anchored by some middle-of-the-road white guy "honoring the greats". I also predict a Mardi Gras theme sans beads-n-boobs.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:46 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Coughlin lining up 12 men ready to go with 17 seconds is pure genius. Yeah, it's against the rules, but now you have 12 men to defend their 11. You should stop them, but then they get the penalty; a measly 5 yards and 8 seconds drained off the clock.

I thought the same thing. Except... at that point, why not just put 28 guys out there? It's not like it's another 5 yards for each guy on the field, it's still just 5 yards and time off the clock and ZERO chance that they were going to score. Unless I'm missing something, the league may need to rethink the implementation of this penalty.
posted by kingbenny at 7:50 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Although, on further consideration, I suppose the only way it happens to work with 12 is that nobody notices until the clock has ticked a bit. Harder to sneak 28 guys out there and have the somebody not notice your 8-7 plus double dime prevent defense..
posted by kingbenny at 7:52 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


I would love to know details on how they put that stage together with all those video panels. Really really impressive.
posted by aabbbiee at 7:52 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Glsen was supposed to air an anti-bullying commercial featuring members of the Phoenix Suns, but I never saw it. Did it run?
posted by Danf at 7:52 AM on February 6, 2012


I would love to know details on how they put that stage together with all those video panels. Really really impressive.

I assumed they were projections rather than giant video panels because at one point they broke down into smaller blocks.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 7:53 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Hey! Isn't that MIA? It *is* MIA! What the fuck is MIA doing playing the Super Bowl? Isn't American Football pretty much the opposite of everything she's all about? Oh, ok, middle finger. Phew."

Worldview secure.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:08 AM on February 6, 2012 [7 favorites]


Bet she got a stern telling off -"you'll never play the superbowl again!"
posted by Artw at 8:14 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


Except... at that point, why not just put 28 guys out there?

I think that might be construed as a "palpably unfair act", and for such actions, the referees can award scores to the other team. If NYG lined up with 28 guys and refused to get off the field, I think you can bet that this flag would be thrown.

12 men, though? "Oh, shucks, ref, we was jus' all mixed up n' what not, sorry 'bout that one, won't happen agin! Scout's honor, sir!"
posted by King Bee at 8:15 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Next year: Daft Punk. I'm calling it.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:23 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


The Giants had a 100% chance of scoring a go-ahead touchdown with less than a minute left in the Super Bowl. Not scoring when they had the chance would've been trading a 100% chance for a less than 100% chance of going ahead. The Patriots were in the Super Bowl because the Ravens' kicker missed a high-percentage field goal in the AFC Championship.

Giants kicker Lawrence Tynes's PAT success rate in the last four seasons: 100%. 134 for 134. He's missed 6 out of 317 in his entire career. While lots of things can go wrong on even a routine kick, me? I don't like those odds.

During the 1998 NFC Championship the Vikings' kicker, who had not missed a single extra point or field goal all season, missed a 38-yard field goal (in a dome, at home) that would've given the Vikings a 10-point lead with three minutes left and likely sent them to the Super Bowl. You take the points when you can.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:36 AM on February 6, 2012


It's actually FieldTurf. The difference in composition and feel is striking. AstroTurf is basically a nasty outdoor carpet with a tight weave. FieldTurf is made a bit differently, and safer to run on.

Worth mentioning briefly that AstroTurf attempted to lawyer FieldTurf out of existence when it was a scrappy upstart based out of Montreal. I wrote a story on the battle for a Canadian business magazine about 10 years ago (not online that I'm aware of, alas). Basically AstroTurf's strategy until FieldTurf came along was to sue rivals for patent and copyright infringement and everything else they could think of, anything to avoid allowing anyone to get their far superior fake grass into a big-time stadium and revealing to the whole world what a travesty of a product AstroTurf was.

As I recall, it was the University of Nebraska that ended the monopoly within months of installing FieldTurf at their football temple. It killed the old AstroTurf dead as soon as word got out how many fewer injuries the Huskers were experiencing.

So these stadium spectacular style shows happen at half time? Isn't that kind of distracting? What about match analysis?

Spoken like someone who's never listened to the incoherent splume of folk wisdom and dessicated cliches that emerges from your Cris Collinsworths and Terry Bradshaws when they get a good few minutes of live mic time to "analyze" the game. I'd frankly rather hear what Cee-Lo thinks of the Giants defence.

Cee-Lo: "Life is a mystery. Everyone must stand alone."

Collinsworth: "Absolutely right. This is gonna come down to Eli Manning. Can he work that last-minute magic one more time? Can he bring 110 percent of his A-game in the crunch? The ole rooster's awake, but can he crow loud enough to wake all of Indianapolis?"
posted by gompa at 8:40 AM on February 6, 2012 [6 favorites]


During the 1998 NFC Championship the Vikings' kicker, who had not missed a single extra point or field goal all season, missed a 38-yard field goal

It still stings.
posted by kingbenny at 8:40 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


Next year: Daft Punk. I'm calling it.

Not quite old enough. We're mining has beens from the mid 80s now. Debbie Gibson and Tiffany are next in line.
posted by empath at 8:41 AM on February 6, 2012


AstroTurf is basically a nasty outdoor carpet with a tight weave. FieldTurf is made a bit differently, and safer to run on.

That said, weren't there also two knee injuries yesterday on guys that went down untouched? Bring back grass!
posted by inigo2 at 8:45 AM on February 6, 2012


12 men, though? "Oh, shucks, ref, we was jus' all mixed up n' what not, sorry 'bout that one, won't happen agin! Scout's honor, sir!"

'Specially since the Pats did the same thing earlier in the game (unintentionally, surely, but the Giants have plausible deniability). Y'know how it is, y'honor, everyone's excited because it's the last minute of the superbowl, there's some miscommunication...

My guess is they'll change that rule so nobody can pull that again (Something where the offense can choose to decline the penalty if they'd like, maybe only in the last two minutes). It was a smart move by Coughlin.
posted by dismas at 8:45 AM on February 6, 2012


I would like to see a nice marching band at halftime.

Guitar Army.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 8:48 AM on February 6, 2012


octothorpe: "So who's left to do next year's half-time show? Have they gone through every possible seventies and eighties mainstream act yet?"

cyphill: "On to the Nineties! Are the members of Smash Mouth still alive?"

Somewhere in America, a tear rolls down the cheek of Steve Perry.
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:49 AM on February 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


During the 1998 NFC Championship the Vikings' kicker, who had not missed a single extra point or field goal all season, missed a 38-yard field goal (in a dome, at home) that would've given the Vikings a 10-point lead with three minutes left and likely sent them to the Super Bowl. You take the points when you can.

A 38-yard field goal is a different animal from an 18-yard field goal, which is what such an attempt from the 1-yard-line would be. 100% automatic? No. But really really goddamn likely.

In that situation -- under two minutes, down by two points, first-and-goal in the Patriots' end, NE with only two timeouts -- your main priority is not control of the scoreboard but control of the clock. Scoring go-ahead points in that situation is very easy, even on third down when they're not as inclined to let you just walk it in. If Bradshaw kneels on the 1, that takes away New England's last timeout AND they still have third down as fuckup insurance in case of a FG bobbled snap.

Brady was going to get the ball back one way or another, barring a defensive penalty carrying an automatic first down. The objective is to limit the damage he can do. 57 seconds with one timeout nearly let him pull it off. Kneeling on the 1 to make it 50-ish seconds with no timeouts? Better. 15 seconds with no timeouts and 50+ yards to field goal range? THAT'S the smarter play.
posted by delfin at 8:51 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


God I would pay money to see Madonna perform at the Superb Owl
posted by The Whelk at 8:55 AM on February 6, 2012


What about match analysis?

I'm glad they didn't. It wasn't 5 minutes into the broadcast when the commentators were talking about Manning going to the Hall of Fame and Brady/Belichick as Greatest of All Time. I get it, I get it, but if that's your starting point? I probably couldn't stand the next 3 hours of over-the-top pomp.
posted by Hoopo at 8:59 AM on February 6, 2012


My favorite part was definitely the delicious anticipation of waiting to see why Will Ferrell was sitting on that rope.
posted by diogenes at 9:04 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


A 38-yard field goal is a different animal from an 18-yard field goal, which is what such an attempt from the 1-yard-line would be. 100% automatic? No. But really really goddamn likely.

I lost the article link, but there was an examination on the odds regarding that last 1:10 or so of play. It broke down like this:

The Giants were inside the 5 with the minute to go. NFL kickers are 96% accurate to hit a field goal under 25 yards (with misses, blocks, failed snaps, failed holds calculated in). Lawrence Tynes is an above average kicker in the NFL, and a veteran, so the percentage may have been even higher. For the Giants, running out the clock and kicking the chip-shot field goal gave them their best chance to win, hands down. Not included in that 96% figure is the chance of a fumble and losing the ball in the setup for the field goal.

To score a touchdown and give the Patriots 1 minute of time actually was the worst option. The analysis concluded that by doing this gave the Giants only an 85% chance of winning the game. This is based on Tom Brady's career numbers and the NFL as a whole.

The "let them score play" was one of the most ridiculous plays I have ever seen, and I am quite the avid football fan.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 9:06 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Who are all of you people talking about football in the middle of our Madonna thread? Oh, wait, right.
posted by Mchelly at 9:06 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Giants had a 100% chance of scoring a go-ahead touchdown with less than a minute left in the Super Bowl. Not scoring when they had the chance would've been trading a 100% chance for a less than 100% chance of going ahead. The Patriots were in the Super Bowl because the Ravens' kicker missed a high-percentage field goal in the AFC Championship.

This is basically lottery contestant logic. Lawrence Tynes is at least (the stats don't include 2009 for some reason) 159 for his last 159 kick attempts from that distance (extra points and within the 30 yard line). Pinning your hopes of a championship on the <1% chance of a freak missed kick that's essentially an extra point is an excellent way to guarantee a loss.

The thing is, that game was actually lost once the Giants got to within comfortably makeable field goal distance. Belichick wasn't scheming to turn his chances from 100% certainty of losing to 100% certainty of winning (or even 50%), he was trying to move the Patriots' chances of winning from something like 2% to something more like 15%. It was always an incredible long shot and he was picking the least bad among a set of terrible options, all of which left him likely to end up losing. If anything, he should have let them score earlier to give Tom Brady more time.
posted by Copronymus at 9:09 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


For what it's worth, as a Pats fan, I loved the decision to let them score and get Brady the ball quicker.
posted by dixiecupdrinking at 9:09 AM on February 6, 2012


A 38-yard field goal is a different animal from an 18-yard field goal, which is what such an attempt from the 1-yard-line would be. 100% automatic? No. But really really goddamn likely.

Just to reiterate this, here is a graph of accuracy by field position (so a 38 yard field goal would be from the 21 yard line). A kick from the 1 yard line is ~99%, a kick from the 21 is in the low 80s. The two aren't remotely comparable. You can also look here for the win probabilities (which are calculated from historical data and not some purely hypothetical mathematical concept), and the chance of Brady driving down the field for a score is at least mid-single digits. The only way it doesn't make sense to take a knee in this situation is if you believe that Tynes is way, way more likely to miss an extra point-length kick than he would be in the regular season (like an order of magnitude more likely). The people who really know the math on this have actually been arguing that it probably would have been a good idea for the Patriots to let the Giants score even previous to this play, to give Brady more time (with another timeout), given the pretty low difference in kick percentage.
posted by dsfan at 9:11 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Sometimes I love Wikipedia for it's oddly inclusive nature. Now is one of those times: List of Super Bowl halftime shows. Thanks to this page, I now know that it was the 4th Super Bowl that featured a celebrity (Carol Channing). This article claims the first Really Big Half Time Show was in 1993, when Michael Jackson performed Heal The World.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:14 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also, just thought I would mention that in the LMFAO last week I made comments that I didn't think MIA belonged in the same "vapid party-rock/pop star" category as LMFAO and Ke$ha the like, and that my impression of her was that she's very political. For anyone I was responding to that remembers that, YES, I did see that she actually shared a stage with LMFAO, Nicki Minaj, and Madonna to sing a pop medley at the Super Bowl, so maybe you're right and I should be re-evaluating my assessment of her as not really being a pop star.
posted by Hoopo at 9:15 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


And slack lining, previously.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:16 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ugh, "Heal The World" is one of the most dreadful songs I ever had the pleasure of forgetting about, why would you do that filthy light thief?
posted by Hoopo at 9:17 AM on February 6, 2012


That was Sketchy Andy on the slackline.
posted by Manjusri at 9:18 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


It's not even the first time the Let Them Score gambit has been made in a Super Bowl. In Super Bowl XXXII in 1998, the Broncos had second-and-goal at the 1 with 1:47 to go, and Mike Holmgren ordered his defense to let Terrell Davis waltz in untouched so that Brett Favre would have more time to drive for the tie.

As it happens, that drive was also unsuccessful (and Holmgren's decision was based on a miscalculation), but it put the Packers in a much stronger strategic position than if they'd let all of their timeouts be used up.
posted by delfin at 9:25 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hoopo: my impression of [M.I.A.] was that she's very political

She might be using politics as a prop:
Her father remained in Sri Lanka (whenever they saw each other, he was introduced to Maya as her uncle, so that the children wouldn’t inadvertently reveal his identity). Maya claims that she has not seen him in years. Diplo told me a different story. “I met her dad in London with her,” he said. “He was very interested in sustainable living and was teaching in London. But he wasn’t a good father.” Whatever the truth is, Maya has gone from trumpeting her father’s revolutionary past in order to claim that lineage to playing down his politics to support a separate narrative. “He was with the Sri Lankan government,” she now maintained, when I saw her in Los Angeles. “He’s been with them for 20 years. They just made up the fact that he is a Tiger so they can talk crap about me.” (Her father could not be reached for comment.)
...
“Maya is a big pop star now, and pop stars sing,” [former producer and boyfriend Diplo] said. “For me, making this record wasn’t easy. In the past, we were a team. But Maya wanted to show us how much she didn’t need us. In the end, Maya is postmodern: she can’t really make music or art that well, but she’s better than anyone at putting crazy ideas into motion. She knows how to manipulate, how to withhold, how to get what she wants.”
posted by filthy light thief at 9:27 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


In the past ten years, the average age of Super Bowl performers was 52 years old. It's not exactly the young people's music. Kind of weird, really, given how youth oriented so much advertising is.

Madonna's performance is pretty solid here, and I like the choices of LMFAO and M.I.A. Cool production, too, although not as awesome as Black Eyed Peas last year. I know everyone slags on that performance, but I thought it was awesome except for the TV sound. OTOH they were actually singing, so there's that.
posted by Nelson at 9:35 AM on February 6, 2012


longsleeves: "illuminati symbolism"

Well, she was big into Kabbalah (or rather "kabbalah") a while back, not sure if she still is.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 9:35 AM on February 6, 2012


I was in the kitchen during her new song, and I couldn't figure out why Madonna included such an old Dandy Warhols song in her medley. I honestly didn't believe it when someone said that was her new song.
posted by peep at 9:36 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Re: the ads: Was that the Hulk like 20 stories in the air punching things!?!?! omg I'm seeing the hell out of the Avengers movie.

We have a Hulk.
posted by homunculus at 9:36 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


Artw: "Bet she got a stern telling off -"you'll never play the superbowl again!""

"The obscene gesture in the performance was completely inappropriate, very disappointing and we apologize to our fans," said Brian McCarthy, spokesman for the NFL, which produced Madonna's halftime show. He said that M.I.A. had not done anything similar during rehearsals and the league had no reason to believe she would pull something like that during the actual show.
posted by octothorpe at 9:37 AM on February 6, 2012


I'm with Praxis, I love the "No copyright intended!" on the unlicensed YouTube upload. MeFi's own waxpancake has a good analysis of that phrase as a sort of magic spell cast by people who don't understand how copyright or media licensing works.
posted by Nelson at 9:42 AM on February 6, 2012


I thought the same thing. Except... at that point, why not just put 28 guys out there? It's not like it's another 5 yards for each guy on the field, it's still just 5 yards and time off the clock and ZERO chance that they were going to score. Unless I'm missing something, the league may need to rethink the implementation of this penalty.

If you did this repeatedly, or with 28 guys, the refs would jump from too many men on the field to "Palpably Unfair Act." In particular, we'd be heading for Rule 12-3-2: "The defense shall not commit successive or continued fouls to prevent a score. Penalty: For continuous fouls to prevent a score: If the violation is repeated after a warning, the score involved is awarded to the offensive team."

Normally, this is thought of as being close to the goal line, but it could easily apply here -- one team is deliberately fouling to prevent a score by exhausting the clock.

In the casebook, the closest I can find is the case when a substitute comes on during a play (which, arguably, is very close to an extra sub being on field at the snap.) In most cases (A.R. 13.9-13.12 is the whole list) the penalty is Palpably Unfair Act, with the player making the play disqualified, and 15 yards awards to the other team, so I suspect in this case, they'd give 15 yards every time they brought more than 12 on after the warning. I don't know if they'd DQ anybody -- out of the 12 men, which one is the actual extra?
posted by eriko at 9:54 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


He said that M.I.A. had not done anything similar during rehearsals and the league had no reason to believe she would pull something like that during the actual show.

Except for because she was M.I.A.
posted by running order squabble fest at 9:58 AM on February 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


In the past ten years, the average age of Super Bowl performers was 52 years old. It's not exactly the young people's music. Kind of weird, really, given how youth oriented so much advertising is.

Up here in Canada, my parents (70-ish) freaked the fuck out when Shaw pulled the Detroit cable feed for the CTV feed, which does not air the magical, mythical American Superbowl photos. They actually phoned Shaw and berated the poor helpline guy, who could do absolutely nothing about it.

I'm not sure if I would be so upset, and, besides, I'm pretty sure most of the commercials will appear on YouTube.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:58 AM on February 6, 2012


Until the Lions are in the Big Game, it's of passing interest to me.

Someday.

Someday.

posted by Edison Carter at 10:12 AM on February 6, 2012


captaincrouton: She was the most entertaining part of the game.

What the hell do you want? It was close the whole way, two great comeback quarterbacks, settled on the second to last drive of the game, almost won on the last drive of the game, a 4 point victory. There was a safety in the first few minutes!

Fine with me if you don't like football, but that was a great football game.
posted by msalt at 10:19 AM on February 6, 2012 [13 favorites]


The Lions drought permitted me to have conversations about American Football with my family, though. Used to be that I could have a whole conversation about football by asking "So, how's Millen treating the team this year?" Then, for two years after, I could now and say things like "At least they aren't 0 and 16."

Now he's gone and I'm worried that, come Christmas 2012, I'll have to have a new set of stock phrases to make small talk about the sport.
posted by frimble at 10:22 AM on February 6, 2012


She knows how to manipulate, how to withhold, how to get what she wants.”

Spoken like an ex. Thank god none of my post-breakup emails are "news".
posted by the young rope-rider at 10:24 AM on February 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


Next year: Daft Punk. I'm calling it.

Not even close to old enough or big enough. I don't think you guys are going to like this, but the field we're choosing from boils down to:
-- Pearl Jam
-- The Clash
-- Tom Petty
posted by msalt at 10:30 AM on February 6, 2012


Fine with me if you don't like football, but that was a great football game.

Agreed. I actually gave up on football for many years in my youth following a what seemed to me to be an unending series of boring blowout Super Bowls. (Well, that and the fact the team I cheer for is the Browns which is an endeavor without reward). I could be wrong, but the last few I've paid attention to were actually decent games that both teams were in right to the end, and looking over scores since the late 90s it seems it's becoming a more competitive game than it was in the mid-80s-90s.

The Clash

How would that even be possible? 3-D hologram of Joe Strummer?
posted by Hoopo at 10:34 AM on February 6, 2012


If Cobain were still alive, in a few years it may well have been Nirvana.
posted by desjardins at 10:34 AM on February 6, 2012


Wait - they LET him score? I mean, I was watching the game and noticed the huge hole and maybe for a split second I thought they let him score, but then I realized I was pretty drunk and THAT WOULD BE STUPID!
posted by Big_B at 10:35 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Clash

How would that even be possible? 3-D hologram of Joe Strummer?
posted by Hoopo


I suppose, though, that a Gorillaz halftime show would have enough of the Clash onstage to get Strummer's body spinning pretty rapidly.
posted by COBRA! at 10:37 AM on February 6, 2012


the field we're choosing from boils down to:
-- Pearl Jam
-- The Clash
-- Tom Petty


So Pearl Jam it is then.
posted by kingbenny at 10:38 AM on February 6, 2012


Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, and Chris Cornell do a medley of grunge's greatest hits
posted by Hoopo at 10:48 AM on February 6, 2012


Tom Petty already did the half time show in 2008.

So, Pearl Jam. This makes me enormously uncomfortable.
posted by godshomemovies at 10:51 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Pearl Jam

...and that leaves the door open to Courtney Love, the 90s equivalent of Madonna's eldritch presence, only turned strange and feral in the howling void of the outer indie darkness. And hungry... so hungry...

People are going to get their heads bitten off and then she'll hide in the heating ducts and people will have to chase her out with flamethrowers and electroprods, is what I'm saying.
posted by Artw at 10:56 AM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Not even close to old enough or big enough. I don't think you guys are going to like this, but the field we're choosing from boils down to:
-- Pearl Jam
-- The Clash
-- Tom Petty
"

Tom Petty did it in 2008.

You can add Bon Jovi and Def Leppard to that list. (Although I'm guessing Bon Jovi will do it in 2014, when the Super Bowl is played in New Jersey)
posted by SisterHavana at 10:59 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


MIA flipped the bird? LMFAO!
posted by Ardiril at 11:01 AM on February 6, 2012


Mister Fabulous: "To score a touchdown and give the Patriots 1 minute of time actually was the worst option. The analysis concluded that by doing this gave the Giants only an 85% chance of winning the game. This is based on Tom Brady's career numbers and the NFL as a whole."

dixiecupdrinking: "For what it's worth, as a Pats fan, I loved the decision to let them score and get Brady the ball quicker."

That last 90 seconds of the game only cements my opinion of Belichick as one of the greatest of all time. His decision to get the ball back meant that the Patriots quite literally came within one step of winning the game. If Gronkowski was one step closer he catches the tipped ball and the Patriots win. How large does his injury loom now?

All that being said, I'm as proud of my G-men as anybody from Exit 11 could be!
posted by ob1quixote at 11:02 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Next year's halftime show will be Creed, Nickelback and Linkin Park. The theme for the show will be ALMIGHTY GOD PLEASE ANNIHILATE THIS FOOTBALL FIELD AND EVERYONE ON IT WITH CLEANSING CELESTIAL FIRE. *


* also plz grow a new field in its place because your mercy is great and, y'know, second half
posted by delfin at 11:10 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Not even close to old enough or big enough. I don't think you guys are going to like this, but the field we're choosing from boils down to:
-- Pearl Jam
-- The Clash
-- Tom Petty


Couldn't be Tom Petty. He already gave the middle finger to the world. He's not welcome at live events.
posted by filchyboy at 11:20 AM on February 6, 2012


SisterHavana Tom did it much earlier than 2008. He is a repeat offender. Loves me some Tom P and MIA!
posted by filchyboy at 11:21 AM on February 6, 2012


Beastie Boys.
posted by the young rope-rider at 11:24 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


I remember at the end of their performance of (I think) Sabotage, during a close up, Ad Rock gave both middle fingers to the crowd and the cameras, at the live MTV Music Awards about 10 or 15 years ago. The camera quickly panned out, and they went to commercial.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:32 AM on February 6, 2012


Which is DUMB.

You NEVER EVER EVER trade six *certain* points for three possible points. Never. Ever. No.

Yes, up by one with ten seconds is better than up by four with 60 seconds left, but sometimes, the kicker misses, and down by one with 10 seconds means you just lost the game


Well, no. It's simple math really. A field goal from that range is like 99.9%. The odds of the other team scoring with x minutes left on the clock are fairly well known, and almost certainly higher than .1% with over a minute left, and would rapidly approach 0 as you run down the clock.

The Patriots should have let them score as soon as they got into 'almost certain' field goal range, and the Giants should have just kneeled the ball down to run the clock out.
posted by empath at 11:41 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm thinking Eddie Vedder with a ukelele next year.
posted by Dr. Zira at 11:50 AM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


That'll have people dying for the days of lip-syncing again.
posted by kingbenny at 11:53 AM on February 6, 2012


the Giants should have just kneeled the ball down to run the clock out.

Probably, but imagine how hard it must be to turn down an opportunity to score the touchdown that wins the Super Bowl! That's what I saw in Bradshaw's body language as he hesitated a moment and let himself fall backwards into the end zone: "I probably shouldn't but seriously COME ON. Fuck it. Yeah this is happening now"
posted by Hoopo at 11:54 AM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Coldplay. You know it's inevitable.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 12:05 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


> We're not going to get newer music until we get younger staff running the Super Bowl.

I joked with the 20-something guys I was watching the game with that, when they're my age, Beyonce will be the half-time entertainer.
posted by mmrtnt at 12:18 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


belichick's call is what great football is all about. it's surprising. it's gutsy. and if it had worked, he would have been a goddamned hero. i went into the game hoping somehow both teams would lose, thought the patriots would win, and found myself rooting for the giants as the game went on. i really dislike belichick. i can't believe he's still BEST COACH EVER after spygate (and i was giddy they lost that super bowl - ain't no way you deserve a perfect season after you're caught cheating that hard). however, i loved that call. it got me rooting for it to work.

just think about sean peyton in his super bowl - if that onside kick had failed, what a fucking idiot everyone would say. that was a move that wasn't backed up by the stats. belichick's was, he knew it, and he did what he had to do to give his team a chance. in the pre-game interview with brady, he was asked if he'd rather be up by a couple points and on the sidelines in the final moments of the game or down by a couple points and fighting for the win. brady without pause said "give me the ball." he got exactly what he wanted and his receivers came up short.

it was a fantastic game.
posted by nadawi at 12:27 PM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


I joked with the 20-something guys I was watching the game with that, when they're my age, Beyonce will be the half-time entertainer.

Beyonce or J. Lo for sure, in time. The real gutsy call for next year would be Jay-Z.
posted by msalt at 12:32 PM on February 6, 2012


Kanye West.
posted by Artw at 12:34 PM on February 6, 2012


Nope. My money's on Fleetwood Mac.
posted by mudpuppie at 12:37 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Note by the video poster: No copyright intended!

Yes, well...
posted by Mental Wimp at 12:45 PM on February 6, 2012


MIA is of course letting the side down for her fellow Brits.
posted by Artw at 12:47 PM on February 6, 2012


I made comments that I didn't think MIA belonged in the same "vapid party-rock/pop star" category as LMFAO and Ke$ha the like

Well she does now. I did catch part of it and I was all "oh, is that Nicki Minaj" ... "who's the M?" ... "that can't be MIA can it?" ... "oh shit, i think it is," ... "nice boots, i guess" ...

Wow. I guess if you're going to "sellout," it's hard to do it in grander style. And then to try to "backslide" or hedge her bets/marketing budget with the middle finger ...

How embarrassing all around.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:29 PM on February 6, 2012


Coldplay. You know it's inevitable.

I think this was the strapline for the last album, right? Or was that Buy it, or the next child is called Mylo Xyloto?
posted by running order squabble fest at 1:42 PM on February 6, 2012


Bon Jovi?
posted by ZeusHumms at 1:50 PM on February 6, 2012


You guys have it all wrong, next year's superbowl will be a Van Halen reunion that will spark a new reunion world tour. With a special appearance by the Bangles.
posted by Vindaloo at 1:50 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Still, the best performance this evening was by the Pats defense during Bradshaw's ass-backwards tumble into the end zone for the game winning TD. I could watch the gif 10,000 times, look at the Pats running around like mad pretending like they wanted to stop him.

That GIF/play encompasses a lot of what sucks about football as a game or sport. (and yeah, it's about as "new" as proclamations that "Detroit is going through a rough stretch" ...)

The Patriots should have let them score as soon as they got into 'almost certain' field goal range, and the Giants should have just kneeled the ball down to run the clock out.

Yes, exactly. Great sport. Enjoy your GW FGs! A thrilling end, etc.

Clint Eastwood: I'm [gravelly-voiced, Christian Bale-era] Batman ... talking over the same damn exact footage of Joe Lisboa's hometown again.

Oh, God, that was one of the few I saw. "Detroit's had a rough time lately." Oh yeah? No shit. It's been almost 50 years!

The sheer shamelessness of ending the show with 'world peace' absolutely astounds me.

Seriously.

We generate shit-tonnes of carbon dioxide, squander limited energy resources hither thither, and encourage our youth to waste their hard-earned money on plastic crap that ends up in the Pacific gyres.

But World Peace, y'all! G'night and god bless!
posted by mrgrimm at 1:51 PM on February 6, 2012


Van Halen, Journey, and Tom Petty are all good calls, but if I had to put money, I'd go with Lady Gaga or Adele.

Also, I'm not better than any of those who say she looked bad, but I thought Madonna looked fantastic (yes, great boots (and nice fishnets too!)). The dancing was another story.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:04 PM on February 6, 2012


Hey, did I say that epic Nictoris cosplay was a bad thing?
posted by Artw at 2:07 PM on February 6, 2012


Karl Rove is offended by the Clint Eastwood ad, uses the phrase "Chicago-style politics."
posted by dirigibleman at 2:17 PM on February 6, 2012


That's what I saw in Bradshaw's body language as he hesitated a moment and let himself fall backwards into the end zone: "I probably shouldn't but seriously COME ON. Fuck it. Yeah this is happening now"

"Hold everything!" Bradshaw's mind screamed, fighting to be heard above the din of his body language's self-congratulatory whoops. "This is going to be the single most watched moment of my life, my only shot at legend, the iconic finale in the highlight reel of my very existence - and it looks like I'm a toddler falling down on my bum in the sandbox under the weight of my soiled drawers. Dear god stop, stop STOP STAAAAA . . . aw, shit."
posted by gompa at 2:24 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


nadawi: "i can't believe he's still BEST COACH EVER after spygate"

I took this opportunity to bone up on the soi-disant Spygate. I'm not a Patriots fan. My team doesn't play in the AFC so I didn't really know the ins-and-outs.

From what I'm reading, the scandal is that they used a video camera to record the signals so they could send a numb-nuts like Walsh to do it. I gather no rules would have been broken if they had employed a sketch artist with an eidetic memory or some other more expensive approach.

Of course opponents are going to try to steal the signals. They all know this. That's why coaches cover their mouths when they call in the plays. The teams have so much money that having people on staff for the specific purpose of signal intercept seems almost de rigueur these days.

All of which is to say that I stand by my earlier statement. Belichick strikes me as the kind of person who won't put up with bullshit, and it shows in his interactions with the League and the Coaches' Association. There's no denying he's a rules lawyer, q.v. his ignoring league guidelines and donning his trademark hoodie. There's also no denying he's got one of the finest minds for football of all time, even if he is a jerk and the coach of a team America loves to hate.
posted by ob1quixote at 2:29 PM on February 6, 2012


Popbitch claimed that for a while her people were calling her Oldfrapp, after the star she was imitating at the time.

The irony in this is that Goldfrapp themselves occupy a similar niche in the pop ecology. They're effectively cool hunters, digging through the underground/counterculture for ideas that have legs and adapting them to the mass market. To whit: In short, if you want to see where the avant-garde was 18 months ago, get the latest Goldfrapp album.

I wonder if they're going to do Afrobeat, chillwave or brostep next.
posted by acb at 2:30 PM on February 6, 2012


Karl Rove is offended by the Clint Eastwood ad, uses the phrase "Chicago-style politics."

Karl Rove is a dick.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 2:36 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


It was a decent football game but not an entertaining one.
The final drive failed in a banal way, the winning drive was purposely slow, the touchdowns were unspectacular, though the ass-fall was amusing.
There was no story, no great redemption from injury, poverty, drugs, katrina. The teams didn't appear to hate each other all that much.
If it wasn't a superbowl we would have forgotten about it already.
posted by captaincrouton at 2:47 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what Ron Artest had to do with Like a Prayer.
posted by WASP-12b at 2:48 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


If it wasn't a superbowl we would have forgotten about it already.

I forgot about it before it even happened.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:53 PM on February 6, 2012


i never said belichick wasn't a great football mind - i agree that he is. i just also happen to think he's a cheater and isn't called on it because of how high his esteem is.
posted by nadawi at 2:56 PM on February 6, 2012



Lot of new world order symbols in half time. Roman empire,devil horns, falling into pit, eye of odom,world peace. I'm sure there were more.


Between smart meters and bike lanes being signs of a Communist conspiracy, Lady Gaga being an Illuminati mind-control slave and now Madonna inserting Satanic images into her Superbowl show (to say nothing of Dan Brown and his imitators), America seems to have fallen in love with omens and the idea of powerful, secret symbols (without all that liberal egghead cause-and-effect hokum). I wonder how long until the talk-radio-listening working poor start painting sigils above their doors and/or sacrificing small animals to ward off evil spirits.
posted by acb at 2:56 PM on February 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


There was no story

Sure there was a story. Once upon a time, there was a BAHAHA HOW YOU LIKE THAT BOSTON!?!
posted by Hoopo at 3:04 PM on February 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


All I know is that I picked the Giants to win (+3.5) and PAY ME BEEYOTCH EASIEST PICK EVAR.

Yeah, too bad I didn't call Vegas before the game. I picked Giants win, with a score 21-17.

Also, on a different note, MIA's gesture was very pig-style.
posted by foxhat10 at 3:07 PM on February 6, 2012


I laughed guiltily at the SNL weekend update wise crack about Madonna.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:15 PM on February 6, 2012


nadawi, clearly you hang out with the wrong people, because all of the football people I know always refer to him as the cheater.

That's one of the main reasons I was rooting for the Giants even though they beat my Niners.
posted by Carillon at 3:18 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


LMFAO Im Sexy and I Know it He-Man Mash up Dance Party
posted by Artw at 3:24 PM on February 6, 2012


nadawi, clearly you hang out with the wrong people, because all of the football people I know always refer to him as the cheater.

That's one of the main reasons I was rooting for the Giants even though they beat my Niners.


The people who like him are people who want to be like him. Someone with the stones to say "fuck you" to anyone who gets in his way. That, or they just don't mind a jerk as long as he is *their* jerk.

He is a cheater and an ego-maniac. Even if everyone does it (trying to steal signals), it's still cheating. He is what's wrong with football, as far as I am concerned.
posted by gjc at 3:29 PM on February 6, 2012


Wait a second....have we ruled out Elton John? How about Billy Joel?
posted by triggerfinger at 4:33 PM on February 6, 2012


Re: Madonna; I want the name of her surgeon. I am so not kidding. He/she does amazing work.

Re: future halftime bands....Devo. They might be giants. Meatloaf.
posted by dejah420 at 5:07 PM on February 6, 2012


They Might be Giants would be awesome.

Hello America! Are you ready to be WHIMSICALLY CHARMED?

Guest stars Barenaked Ladies causes scandal by appearing to flip the bird while playing a microtheremin solo, but they are so charmingly apologetic that everyone forgives them immediately.
posted by running order squabble fest at 5:15 PM on February 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


Bon Inver.
posted by Mental Wimp at 5:32 PM on February 6, 2012


Decent vs indecent.
posted by scalefree at 5:36 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Give Devo the halftime show. Please.

Also, Karl Rove can kiss my white ass.
posted by vibrotronica at 6:39 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Glsen was supposed to air an anti-bullying commercial featuring members of the Phoenix Suns, but I never saw it. Did it run?

It was intended for the folks at the game - you can see it here: "At Super Bowl XLVI, 70,000 spectators plus a parking lot full of 80,000 fans will see our ThinkB4YouSpeak PSAs, on the big screen outside the stadium. That's 800,000 impressions over the course of the day."
posted by mediareport at 7:30 PM on February 6, 2012


Late to the show here. I stopped reading maybe forty comments in, bemused.

I never watch any of this garbage, truly not my scene. I don't like the whole big entertainment extravaganza, I don't like all the sparkles, I think the whole thing is a big shallow mess. I know that it's a huge thing, and others really get off on it, but I think it sucks. I live in Austin and there's a reason that I do, we have this thing here called "music" and I sortof like it.

But everybody getting onto Madonna for stumbling, for not gracefully going out to pasture, for not trying to "act age-appropriate"? You're over there singing "The Old Gray Mare She Ain't What She Used To Be" and thinking Madonna needs vitamins? I bet every one of you is at the moment I key this in shoving corn chips dipped in crappy bean dip into your head, I'd bet dollars to dimes that you couldn't do one percent of what that woman does, and has been doing, for over thirty years.

She's smokin' fucking hot, and I don't give a damn if she got it from a surgeon or her genes, I'd give a hundred bucks to kiss her thighs, you dogs would be all over her if you had even a smidge of a chance. But you don't, she'd laugh at you, she's been eating men better than you and I for thirty years, not leaving even a trace of them; they think they're going to fuck her, they're beating their chest, they climb into her bed and they're just gone. You don't fuck a woman like her, she fucks you, leaves nothing but a grease spot. And then she's on to a yoga mat, stretching like a cat that just ate a bitty mouse. (Sean Penn got out just in time to save his life, those deep lines cut onto his face speak to his time with her...)

Of course she's on her way out the door; as London says in his spectacular short story A Piece of Steak "Youth will be served." It's in The Artist, too, an awkwardly beautiful, totally painful scene, Bérénice Bejo's Peppy stating the truth in a flip manner, oblivious that the man she loves, who these words will hurt deeply, stab to his core, no idea that he's seated directly behind her, hearing every word -- that's just good writing, and great acting, Jean Dujardin and Bérénice Bejo soundlessly stating elemental stories as well or better than they've ever been told.

Anyways. Madonna. Her time is going — as is mine, and yours; this thing is finite — and I'm damn glad she's making the best of it all. She is A Star, has been and will be. Not my flavor art but I do love Art and hers is strong, the Art of being A Star. I truly do love love love Lady Gaga, esp compared to Ms. Madonna, but the fact is that Lady G and Madonna don't compare, other than the fact that they both LIVE the Art of being A Star better than most people ever could, or ever have, they've both of them got the jam to carry it off so goddamn well...
Now wait just a minute, M. dancestoblue, I thought you don't like all that glitz jive blah blah blah, how can you say that and then couple paragraphs later say you think Lady G rocks? Well, she's just insane, is all, and she is musically talented, I've seen her play songs she's written on the piano and she's not just a cut-out. But mostly I just love her because she's totally nucking futs.
posted by dancestoblue at 8:53 PM on February 6, 2012 [12 favorites]


Oh man, I had only seen snipets of Vahalla Madonna, not the whole thing. After having Dennis it I can now say that Madonna can be in as many neo pagan roman fascist rallies as she wants. Just wow.
posted by The Whelk at 9:58 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Give Devo the halftime show. Please.

Blue Man Group.

After having Dennis, I tried a little O'Brien.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:42 PM on February 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Devo would be awesome. Sadly, Van Halen is very likely, if reuned. Finally David Lee Roth will find a stage large enough for his personality.
posted by msalt at 6:46 AM on February 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


Snoop Dog
posted by caddis at 6:52 AM on February 7, 2012


dancestoblue: Wow. I don't know if agree with you, but I would like to buy you a drink and just...listen. And, I'm glad to see that the adderall shortage has passed, at least in Austin.
posted by seventyfour at 7:06 AM on February 7, 2012


And the marketing juggernaut of LiveNation/ClearChannel continues with Madonna announcing her 2012 tour dates this morning.
posted by hippybear at 7:20 AM on February 7, 2012


I bet every one of you is at the moment I key this in shoving corn chips dipped in crappy bean dip into your head

You would lose that bet. A dip without meat is a dip wasted.

(But seriously, is LOLyrFAT really a thing we want to be saying to each other?)
posted by running order squabble fest at 7:49 AM on February 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


Give Devo the halftime show. Please.

Or alternately, Einsturzende Neubauten. I mean, they let U2 do it.
posted by philip-random at 8:33 AM on February 7, 2012


seventyfour: "dancestoblue: Wow. I don't know if agree with you, but I would like to buy you a drink and just...listen."

Umm, yeah, a drink. Well, that's a nice idea of course, and I do appreciate the offer, but probably it's best for all concerned that I not have any drinks anymore...
posted by dancestoblue at 5:43 PM on February 7, 2012


Am I alone in wanting to see The Birthday Party play the Superbowl?
posted by arcticseal at 7:17 AM on February 8, 2012


The inevitable: Satanic Ritual Performed at The NFL Half Time Show
"Pentagram/Baphomet on her crotch. Also you can see sight of abuse if you look close enough at her crotch"
posted by Sailormom at 8:00 AM on February 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


From that (awesome) link:
The entire act was sending a subliminal message to the world, and that message is the following. ”Take heart, lovers of pleasure. Our satanic messiah is about to appear with great power to usher in world peace so that everyone (who worships Satan ) can have a good time.

Sold!
posted by COBRA! at 8:46 AM on February 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


The comments on sailormom's link were just painful to read. I had to stop reading after a while as the stupid was burning me.
posted by arcticseal at 4:48 PM on February 11, 2012


Peter David tests his Madonna theory
posted by Artw at 10:47 AM on February 15, 2012


Madonna's Super Bowl XLVI Halftime Show Re-Done By Brazilian Drag Queens.
posted by ericb at 1:58 PM on February 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


That deserves its own fpp, amazing
posted by Forktine at 2:30 PM on February 22, 2012


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