God was being a dick to me. I should have known God would be a dick.
February 8, 2012 4:36 PM Subscribe
On The Bro'd: Every sentence of Jack Kerouac's On The Road, retold for Bros.
For the whole trip Dean was crazy stoked about all the shit we passed, all the shit we talked about, all the shit that people texted him. Dude was fucking crazy. “And for real no one can tell us that Four Loko is actually dangerous. We’ve partied with that shit. You remember, Sal, when I first came to Columbus and Chad King and I drank like five in a night. Wasn’t that shit awesome? It’s all cool, Four Loko isn’t bad for you, if you can handle your shit. All that bullshit about it causing drunk driving is bullshit. It’s bullshit!” He punched the steering wheel; the Wrangler Unlimited kept on rolling.
For the whole trip Dean was crazy stoked about all the shit we passed, all the shit we talked about, all the shit that people texted him. Dude was fucking crazy. “And for real no one can tell us that Four Loko is actually dangerous. We’ve partied with that shit. You remember, Sal, when I first came to Columbus and Chad King and I drank like five in a night. Wasn’t that shit awesome? It’s all cool, Four Loko isn’t bad for you, if you can handle your shit. All that bullshit about it causing drunk driving is bullshit. It’s bullshit!” He punched the steering wheel; the Wrangler Unlimited kept on rolling.
This post was deleted for the following reason: and then I was like "dude, did you hear something from the basement" and he goes down there and there's a Smirnoff Ice and I'm like "ha ha, bro, you just got twiced!" -- cortex
I think of Dean Moriarty, no homo.
I think of Dean Moriarty, no homo.
I think of Dean Moriarty, no homo.
I think of Dean Moriarty, no homo.
posted by stinkycheese at 4:39 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
I think of Dean Moriarty, no homo.
I think of Dean Moriarty, no homo.
I think of Dean Moriarty, no homo.
posted by stinkycheese at 4:39 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
Are 'bros' and 'hipsters' the only choices among todays young people?
If so, damn am I glad to be fucking old.
posted by jonmc at 4:40 PM on February 8, 2012 [9 favorites]
If so, damn am I glad to be fucking old.
posted by jonmc at 4:40 PM on February 8, 2012 [9 favorites]
Cannot be unseen.
posted by mek at 4:41 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by mek at 4:41 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
Only meant to do that twice, dernit.
posted by stinkycheese at 4:44 PM on February 8, 2012
posted by stinkycheese at 4:44 PM on February 8, 2012
So... they haven't changed it much at all?
Well, except for the typwewr... well, shit.
posted by deanklear at 4:44 PM on February 8, 2012
Well, except for the typwewr... well, shit.
posted by deanklear at 4:44 PM on February 8, 2012
Damn you, spotty search function!
posted by T.D. Strange at 4:45 PM on February 8, 2012
posted by T.D. Strange at 4:45 PM on February 8, 2012
Oh I see, they took a tumblr blog and turned it into a real 10$ a pop book. Sigh.
posted by T.D. Strange at 4:47 PM on February 8, 2012
posted by T.D. Strange at 4:47 PM on February 8, 2012
Cool story bro.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:48 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Ad hominem at 4:48 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
Artw has it. Between the drinking and the sexing, "On the Road" is pretty bro-friendly.
posted by drezdn at 4:48 PM on February 8, 2012
posted by drezdn at 4:48 PM on February 8, 2012
He who satirizes bros should see to it that he himself does not become a bro.
posted by gurple at 4:49 PM on February 8, 2012
posted by gurple at 4:49 PM on February 8, 2012
ok, so if you draw a line from On The Road, through Bright Lights Big City, to On The Bro'd. You will see that people have not changed for almost 60 years it seems.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:53 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Ad hominem at 4:53 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
Between the drinking and the sexing, "On the Road" is pretty bro-friendly.
Between the drinking and the sexing, it's pretty...young male friendly.
posted by jonmc at 4:53 PM on February 8, 2012
Between the drinking and the sexing, it's pretty...young male friendly.
posted by jonmc at 4:53 PM on February 8, 2012
Between the drinking and the sexing, it's pretty...young male friendly.
When I first read it, I wasn't old enough to drink. Then, after I was 21, and we all shuffled off after last call, I realized it was mainly about a guy hanging out with his other heavy drinking friends.
posted by drezdn at 4:56 PM on February 8, 2012
When I first read it, I wasn't old enough to drink. Then, after I was 21, and we all shuffled off after last call, I realized it was mainly about a guy hanging out with his other heavy drinking friends.
posted by drezdn at 4:56 PM on February 8, 2012
More. Start with The Sun Also Rises.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:56 PM on February 8, 2012
posted by Ad hominem at 4:56 PM on February 8, 2012
When I first read it, I wasn't old enough to drink.
Same here but I did anyway.
posted by jonmc at 4:58 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
Same here but I did anyway.
posted by jonmc at 4:58 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
holy shit that is a lot of goddamn effort for a weird joke based on a bad pun
posted by p3on at 5:02 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by p3on at 5:02 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
Sticking around waiting for the red bar of death, but if I'm commenting in a dead thread, I might as well admit, I've oft questioned why young, closted, "straight acting" Me was so into Kerouac but realized, looking at shirtless pics of him in a recent thread, why.
I hope 20 years younger than me isn't problematically attracted to straight identifying but drunk curious bros. But I doubt it.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:02 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
I hope 20 years younger than me isn't problematically attracted to straight identifying but drunk curious bros. But I doubt it.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:02 PM on February 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
Please tell me the original manuscript was done on a single roll of toilet paper..
posted by obscurator at 5:10 PM on February 8, 2012
posted by obscurator at 5:10 PM on February 8, 2012
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posted by Artw at 4:38 PM on February 8, 2012 [8 favorites]