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flowchart friday fun
February 10, 2012 11:01 AM   Subscribe

Flowcharts explain it all. Here is a flowchart guide. You dropped food on the floor - do you eat it? Should you have a cookie or a drink? Can you cook? (via) Look, a coffee pot! Playing D&D or WoW? Sex-act morality? Internet anger? Panflute? Which social search site should you use? Are you a cat or dog person? Are you a horse? Species identification. Are you happy? Should your band cover this song? Which Mahler symphony did you hear? Should you shave your legs?
posted by flex (32 comments total) 34 users marked this as a favorite

 
Some of these are great. The cookie one does a great job of summarizing in written form my preexisting practice on the matter.

Great post.
posted by grouse at 11:05 AM on February 10, 2012


So You're Thinking About Making A Post To Metatalk.
posted by cortex at 11:08 AM on February 10, 2012 [6 favorites]


Whoa, I was just thinking about doing a Tom the Dancing Bug post like an hour ago.
posted by DU at 11:11 AM on February 10, 2012


(I guess it's now obvious which link I clicked. Not first though! Third.)
posted by DU at 11:12 AM on February 10, 2012


Which Mahler symphony did you hear?
Was it the good one? ----YES---> #6
     |
     NO
     |
     v
Who cares

posted by Wolfdog at 11:39 AM on February 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Should you shave your legs can be simplified to:

Are you planning on getting laid tonight?

1) Yes ---> Shave
2) No -----> Fuck it
posted by desjardins at 11:51 AM on February 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


If there is one on "should I eat this?" and one on "should I DTMFA?" we can close down AskMe.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:55 AM on February 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


Should I work for free? (previously)
posted by svenni at 11:56 AM on February 10, 2012


In case anyone is coming here for Mardi Gras.

Where to drink in New Orleans.
posted by St. Sorryass at 12:21 PM on February 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Should you shave your legs can be simplified to: Are you planning on getting laid tonight?

Gender, sexual orientation, cultural context, physical fitness and current relationship status are factors that need to be taken into account. In my case, inexplicably shaving my legs for the first time would probably leave my wife confused, somewhat alarmed and definitely less likely to sleep with me. I'd at least need some kind of cover story. You might think "hey look, I'm taking up competitive swimming" would cover it, but no, the speedo would just further cut down my odds.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:26 PM on February 10, 2012 [11 favorites]


So You're Thinking About Making A Post To Metatalk.

Beanplating whether or not I should contemplate a plate of beans.
posted by asnider at 12:27 PM on February 10, 2012


What baseball team should you root for
posted by T.D. Strange at 12:29 PM on February 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is the flowchart that made me realize why my Mage: The Awakening game was floundering with my casual-gamer-type players.
posted by kaibutsu at 12:29 PM on February 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Hey, holy shit. One of those (the cover song one) is mine. Right on.
posted by COBRA! at 12:33 PM on February 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


What's with the "Your call" on the should-I-eat-it one? Wouldn't it be improved if the whole thing were reduced to that? In fact, that could apply to all of these, if we're going to let decision trees have the "ah, fuck it, we're sick of making this" node.
posted by thewumpusisdead at 12:50 PM on February 10, 2012


some of my favorites:

bacon flowchart

Is it paleo? flowchart
posted by vespabelle at 12:57 PM on February 10, 2012


justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow: The original "should I shave" flowchart was pretty clearly geared towards women; most men don't go out in skirts or wear leggings. Also, I don't see how relationship status factors in: I'm married and I may or may not get laid tonight. Same situation when I was dating. Also also, what does fitness and body shape have to do with shaving? I guess if you're disabled or very obese, it'd be more difficult/impossible, but come on, we're getting into serious beanplating for a lighthearted graphic.
posted by desjardins at 1:13 PM on February 10, 2012


Sorry, you didn't mention body shape, I read that in there somehow.
posted by desjardins at 1:13 PM on February 10, 2012


Hey, holy shit. One of those (the cover song one) is mine. Right on.

Nice! So what do I do given that Thin Lizzy are also hometown heroes?
posted by TwoWordReview at 1:21 PM on February 10, 2012


I think "Covering Thin Lizzy is always a good idea" trumps all other considerations.
posted by COBRA! at 1:23 PM on February 10, 2012


Good call!
posted by TwoWordReview at 1:25 PM on February 10, 2012


The "should we cover this song" one is right on. I just don't get the Thin Lizzy love and I wish my band mates would stop it.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 2:12 PM on February 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


I've found the answer to "should we cover this?" is "if you have to ask, no."
posted by Gygesringtone at 4:22 PM on February 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow: The original "should I shave" flowchart was pretty clearly geared towards women; most men don't go out in skirts or wear leggings. Also, I don't see how relationship status factors in: I'm married and I may or may not get laid tonight. Same situation when I was dating. Also also, what does fitness and body shape have to do with shaving? I guess if you're disabled or very obese, it'd be more difficult/impossible, but come on, we're getting into serious beanplating for a lighthearted graphic.

It's hard to do a flowchart in text form. Let's try this:

Should a comment on Metafilter be taken seriously?

10 did the commenter read the linked article/previous comments? If no then GOTO 180
20 is the comment a clever sarcastic remark? If yes then GOTO 170
30 is the comment trying to be a clever sarcastic remark? If yes then GOTO 180
40 does the comment seem obtuse? If no then GOTO 60
50 might it have been deliberately obtuse? If yes then GOTO 170 else GOTO 180
60 was the comment an ideological knee jerk reaction? If yes then GOTO 170
70 did the comment sound needlessly hostile? If no then GOTO 120
80 deliberately hostile? if yes then GOTO 180
90 PRINT "Take not to heart all words that are spoken lest you think your friend is cursing you"
100 GOTO 190
120 does the commenter know what he/she's talking about? If no then GOTO 180
130 are you likely to remember the comment for more than ten seconds? If no then GOTO 190
140 REM "So we're looking at an insightful argument or an interesting story"
150 SAVE "favorite", 8, 1
160 GOTO 190
170 PRINT "That's just a bit of snark, sarcasm and/or loudtalking"
180 PRINT "The internet makes idiots of us all"
190 PRINT "Don't take it too seriously"

My previous comment: 10-20-30-40-50-170-180-190
Don't take it too seriously.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 5:18 PM on February 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Sorry, I've been a little wound up since someone threatened to shoot my laptop.
posted by desjardins at 7:42 PM on February 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm going to go eat a cookie now.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:44 PM on February 10, 2012


vespabelle, please tell me the "is it spice?" with no article means, is it spice?
posted by d. z. wang at 9:07 PM on February 10, 2012


Choose Your Own Operatic Philip Glass Adventure
posted by rmannion at 3:53 AM on February 11, 2012


Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal: How To Talk About The Economy
posted by flex at 1:59 PM on February 11, 2012


Dogmageddon: Your pocket guide to morality (direct link to flowchart here)

classic flowchart bonus: the original criteria for the proper tactical usage of the phrase "oh snap!"
posted by flex at 11:57 AM on February 15, 2012


Where you should've gone to high school in St. Louis (direct link to flowchart here)
posted by flex at 12:40 PM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Nice; my high school is on flex's chart. Apparently, I would have enjoyed it more if I owned a ricer and chewed tobacco. As it were, it blew.
posted by kaibutsu at 10:44 AM on February 18, 2012


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