But...but...the best part about watching tortoises do anything is that they do it really slowly! This takes all the fun out of it. Case in point. posted by phunniemee at 8:51 PM on February 10 [7 favorites]
I like how the turtle dude spaces out his bunch of grapes to last the whole meal. posted by Burhanistan at 8:52 PM on February 10 [10 favorites]
the turtle dude
until you flip that little bugger on his back, you've no way to know that it is a "dude". posted by HuronBob at 8:55 PM on February 10
You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, HuronBob.
The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. posted by The demon that lives in the air at 9:00 PM on February 10 [23 favorites]
his=its (pot calling kettle black syndrome happening here.....I HATE it when that happens!) posted by HuronBob at 9:00 PM on February 10 [1 favorite]
Well, you dont need to flip them on their backs, you just need to feel the underside of their shell.
If the underside is concave, it is a male (concave in order to sit snuggly on top of female shells while mounting, if you will forgive the expression). If it's flatter on the underside, its a female. There may, of course, be variations on this overall theme. posted by greenhornet at 9:02 PM on February 10
I didn't say you had to leave the darn thing upside down to die... just flip it for a quick check . posted by HuronBob at 9:02 PM on February 10 [1 favorite]
you just need to feel the underside of their shell.
Good way to get slapped (at least that's my experience). posted by HuronBob at 9:04 PM on February 10 [2 favorites]
Funny how he seems to save the fruit for last posted by The Whelk at 9:05 PM on February 10
Funny how he seems to save the fruit for last
I expect that a creature that moves as slowly as a tortoise knows a thing or two about delayed gratification. posted by jedicus at 9:10 PM on February 10 [9 favorites]
Today I learned that tortoises don't (or at least, a particular tortoise doesn't) like strawberries very much. posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:15 PM on February 10
You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back
Today I learned that tortoises don't (or at least, a particular tortoise doesn't) like strawberries very much.
Well, I dunno. Have you ever tried picking slimy slices of strawberry off a concrete slab with just your mouth? It's really, really hard. posted by Sys Rq at 9:48 PM on February 10
But...but...the best part about watching tortoises do anything is that they do it really slowly! This takes all the fun out of it. Case in point.
Please, please tell me that noise was added in post. If that's a natural turtle humping noise, I just... I just don't know to react to reality any more. I enjoy being pessimistic, dammit. posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 11:04 PM on February 10
I could deal with the noise in phunnieme's link, but I would happily live without seeing tortoise penis ever again.
Tortoise eating salad is fantastic, though, and now I want blueberries. Good call, tortoise caterer. posted by belissaith at 12:11 AM on February 11
I'm no expert, but yes, desert tortoises do like strawberrys. They shouldn't have them too much, because of the sugar overload though. On the other hand , "Buddy", my neighborhood Sonoran desert tortoise eats them all the time, and he's ~45 years old. Likes bananas too, but they smear all over his face. posted by atomicmedia at 8:00 AM on February 11
My favorite part of the video was the hypertortoise in the first 5 seconds. That approach! he's hungry, and he knows what he wants, and what he wants is where you are. Bzzzzp. beeline. Tortoiseline.
It is my fervent hope that all tortoises are secretly capable of hypertortoising, they just don't because they'd use up their ecosystem's awesome quota too quickly. posted by Fraxas at 10:21 AM on February 11 [3 favorites]
So that's how he outran that pesky rabbit. posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 10:50 AM on February 11
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 8:50 PM on February 10 [8 favorites]