Must I hammer it in?

February 14, 2012 9:43 AM

Weirdo vintage Valentine's Day cards.
posted by OverlappingElvis (24 comments total)

Holy shit, I recognize some of those. I'd write more, but I have to find my misplaced bottle of Geritol.
posted by exogenous at 9:47 AM on February 14 [6 favorites]

This one immediately made me think of the part in Dark Knight Returns wherein Bats reveals that he has a bright logo on his chest because it gives mooks an easy (but bulletproof) target.

Also: D: D: D: D:
posted by griphus at 9:48 AM on February 14 [1 favorite]

Are some of these for children? By which I mean, I understand that in American schools it's common to give 'valentines' to your classmates, rather than as anonymous declarations of love.

Either that, or someone's realised witht he Batman card that nerds need love too.
posted by mippy at 9:54 AM on February 14

When I glanced at the name on the blog I first thought it said Mitch McConnell, which made it even stranger.

I wonder what current kids valentines will seem wildly inappropriate in 50 years?
posted by TedW at 9:56 AM on February 14 [1 favorite]

The ones that prominently feature firearms, death and the "aim to please" sentiment might well have appealed to Mr. Capone &c.
posted by obscurator at 9:58 AM on February 14

*still stunned silent*
posted by infini at 10:03 AM on February 14 [1 favorite]

I can't help... imagining... he's just about to turn the gun around...
posted by Acheman at 10:04 AM on February 14

These brought me right back to grade school. Now I feel really old.
posted by stinkycheese at 10:08 AM on February 14 [2 favorites]

Tracking the vintage + valentine tags on Tumblr will get you similar weird cards. (A couple NSFW. One what-the-actual-fuck card)

I particularly like the card with a creepy, leering moon: Under the moon.
posted by book 'em dano at 10:41 AM on February 14

I particularly like the card with a creepy, leering moon: Under the moon.
posted by book 'em dano at 6:41 PM on February 14


Me gusta
posted by Decani at 10:44 AM on February 14 [2 favorites]

I think the site crashed.
posted by amro at 11:22 AM on February 14

I would love to get that little batgirl one.
posted by benito.strauss at 1:17 PM on February 14

His site also has sparkly .gif glitter cards, like this one.
posted by benito.strauss at 1:22 PM on February 14

This one was apparently given out by a young John Bongiovi
posted by TedW at 1:32 PM on February 14

Does anyone happen to get this one? I can't figure it out. Unless the joke is just "HA HA PEOPLE TALK DIFFERENT IN PLACES".
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 1:52 PM on February 14

Maybe I'm weird, but I wasn't thinking this was a cannon at first glance. Yikes!
posted by orme at 2:54 PM on February 14 [2 favorites]

Ouch! The little paper ones take me back to grade school. I'd love an FPP explaining how this annual classroom ritual of humiliation became a "thing". Do schools still have sanctioned exchanges between 8 year olds?
posted by bonobothegreat at 3:27 PM on February 14

Does anyone happen to get this one? I can't figure it out. Unless the joke is just "HA HA PEOPLE TALK DIFFERENT IN PLACES".

The non-Chinese-literate reader is invited to imagine that the Chinese part is describing naughty acts.

(BTW, does it actually say something, or is it gibberish?)
posted by BrashTech at 3:38 PM on February 14

Do schools still have sanctioned exchanges between 8 year olds?

Yes indeed. My eight year old came home today from school with a big bag of small paper cards and candy. Also special instructions to "brush your teeth tonight", which I thought was cute.
posted by stinkycheese at 3:44 PM on February 14

Good lord, who thought these up? I wish there was some kind of attribution for the artist so I could see the rest of their work. Is there, or was there some kind of creepy Hallmark Co. somewhere.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 5:02 PM on February 14

Wait, does that thermometer have a raging hard-on?
posted by Strange Interlude at 5:06 PM on February 14

that looks more like a hemorrhoid in his mercury :D
posted by liza at 6:26 PM on February 14

Which generation was using these? Were my grandparents pervy?
posted by davidpriest.ca at 7:29 PM on February 14

The non-Chinese-literate reader is invited to imagine that the Chinese part is describing naughty acts.

You can read it as saying FUCK in english if you squint a bit.
posted by bystander at 2:31 AM on February 15