"In every family picture ... my mother was wearing a habit."
February 14, 2012 11:28 AM Subscribe
Totally thought this was going to be about incest and family shame. Glad it wasn't. Very sweet story.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 11:37 AM on February 14, 2012 [9 favorites]
posted by Foci for Analysis at 11:37 AM on February 14, 2012 [9 favorites]
Happy Valentine's Day indeed.
From the article:
"You know, we live in a culture where men are not really celebrated for love," says Fugelsang. "And so for me, the most defining personal dynamic in my life has been watching a man madly in love with his wife."
I had a teacher I respected a lot who said once that was the best thing he could ever do for his sons -- show them how much he loved their mother -- even (to a point, obviously) through physical affection. I thought it was goofy -- maybe even creepy -- at the time but, thinking back to it, even though it wasn't something that my own dad ever would have said, it was certainly something he did. Even my relationships that didn't work out were improved by having my parents to compare it.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:39 AM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
From the article:
"You know, we live in a culture where men are not really celebrated for love," says Fugelsang. "And so for me, the most defining personal dynamic in my life has been watching a man madly in love with his wife."
I had a teacher I respected a lot who said once that was the best thing he could ever do for his sons -- show them how much he loved their mother -- even (to a point, obviously) through physical affection. I thought it was goofy -- maybe even creepy -- at the time but, thinking back to it, even though it wasn't something that my own dad ever would have said, it was certainly something he did. Even my relationships that didn't work out were improved by having my parents to compare it.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:39 AM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
Jack Fugelsang was the Assistant Principal of my middle school.
posted by the1inBK at 11:40 AM on February 14, 2012 [8 favorites]
posted by the1inBK at 11:40 AM on February 14, 2012 [8 favorites]
I took the bait.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 11:43 AM on February 14, 2012 [6 favorites]
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 11:43 AM on February 14, 2012 [6 favorites]
I love that I live in a world where this sentence just gets tossed into articles with no explanation.
A risky stem-cell treatment in Thailand afforded him a few more years.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:49 AM on February 14, 2012 [4 favorites]
A risky stem-cell treatment in Thailand afforded him a few more years.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:49 AM on February 14, 2012 [4 favorites]
Misread the sentence on hospice as "hit my mom mercilessly," and thought it was an odd comment to include.
It actually reads "hit on my mom mercilessly."
Which is much nicer.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:53 AM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
It actually reads "hit on my mom mercilessly."
Which is much nicer.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:53 AM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
It's a really, really awesome thing to see a person's life defined by the love they hold for something or someone, and to see how that ripples outward to the people around them.
Gonna go give my wife another hug now, kthx.
posted by Mooski at 11:54 AM on February 14, 2012
Gonna go give my wife another hug now, kthx.
posted by Mooski at 11:54 AM on February 14, 2012
If a nun and a monk can find love together (those crazy kids!), there's hope for all of us!
posted by gkhan at 11:55 AM on February 14, 2012
posted by gkhan at 11:55 AM on February 14, 2012
*sniffle*
posted by luminarias at 11:56 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by luminarias at 11:56 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
If a nun and a monk can find love together (those crazy kids!), there's hope for all of us!
My wife's family has some family friends who are a former priest and former nun, and according to them, former priest always marry former nuns. This might have been covered in the article, but it was crashing my work computer.
Also, she has some great stories about being a nun in the 60s, which apparently involved a lot of being high.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:59 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
My wife's family has some family friends who are a former priest and former nun, and according to them, former priest always marry former nuns. This might have been covered in the article, but it was crashing my work computer.
Also, she has some great stories about being a nun in the 60s, which apparently involved a lot of being high.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:59 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
Also, she has some great stories about being a nun in the 60s, which apparently involved a lot of being high.
Just nuns having fun!
posted by Snarl Furillo at 12:02 PM on February 14, 2012
Just nuns having fun!
posted by Snarl Furillo at 12:02 PM on February 14, 2012
Happy Valentine's Day!
That was sweet. Love is important.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:02 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
Sometimes I think the husband and I are a little over-huggy, and maybe we are, but I feel the same way; it's so important for our son to see us being loving to one another as well as to him.
posted by emjaybee at 12:10 PM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 12:10 PM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
I'm in the middle of reading Middlesex.
posted by Obscure Reference at 12:17 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by Obscure Reference at 12:17 PM on February 14, 2012
The fact that I knew who their son was before clicking through, and without having heard the NPR piece, says something about me, namely: that I am entirely too obsessed with the Stephanie Miller show (where he guests/guest hosts) and the associated Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour.
John is known as the Ecclesiastical Mook on the show, due to his high level of religious literacy and his family's, ahem...religious background.
posted by gillyflower at 12:17 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
John is known as the Ecclesiastical Mook on the show, due to his high level of religious literacy and his family's, ahem...religious background.
posted by gillyflower at 12:17 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
This is actually the second time I've heard of this happening. (damn, on preview it's now the 4th...)
I went to a Catholic, all-boys high school in a southwest suburb of Chicago. Sophomore year we all had to take a class on the Gospels for one semester. The teacher looked to me like an crotchety old man whose face perpetually said "GET OFF MY LAWN." How wrong I was.
It was at a high school retreat when he told us his story about how he was a brother and he had met a woman who was a nun and how they fell in love. While I don't remember the details of the story, I remember that the anguish in his decision to leave the brotherhood was matched by the love that he had for woman he was going to marry.
He was (and still is) one of my most favorite teachers and inspirations of all time. The man had more passion and energy for teaching than any teacher I had before or after him. His main takeaway was that Jesus' message was about LOVE; you could tell by his interactions with other faculty, students, and his family that he took the message to heart. How many Catholics (or any other Christian) can you say do the same?
posted by photovox at 12:19 PM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
I went to a Catholic, all-boys high school in a southwest suburb of Chicago. Sophomore year we all had to take a class on the Gospels for one semester. The teacher looked to me like an crotchety old man whose face perpetually said "GET OFF MY LAWN." How wrong I was.
It was at a high school retreat when he told us his story about how he was a brother and he had met a woman who was a nun and how they fell in love. While I don't remember the details of the story, I remember that the anguish in his decision to leave the brotherhood was matched by the love that he had for woman he was going to marry.
He was (and still is) one of my most favorite teachers and inspirations of all time. The man had more passion and energy for teaching than any teacher I had before or after him. His main takeaway was that Jesus' message was about LOVE; you could tell by his interactions with other faculty, students, and his family that he took the message to heart. How many Catholics (or any other Christian) can you say do the same?
posted by photovox at 12:19 PM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
This is a terrific story (and I'm so glad it didn't go the way I was afraid it was going to go). It is inspiring to hear about that level of devotion. Thank you, tractorfeed.
posted by agatha_magatha at 12:22 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by agatha_magatha at 12:22 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
Add to the list of Priest/Nun relationships: Vows: The Story of a Priest, a Nun and Their Son by Peter Manseau, editor of religion commentary blog Killing the Buddha.
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 12:22 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 12:22 PM on February 14, 2012
My step-mom has a cousin who was a Marist Brother who married a nun (Sisters of St. Joseph if I recall correctly). They were both teachers and continued to teach after leaving their orders. Their children grew up with very high academic expectations, naturally.
posted by tommasz at 12:32 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by tommasz at 12:32 PM on February 14, 2012
My mother-in-law was a novitiate who left the convent to get married. Her brother was a priest who quit his vows to marry a woman who was also a nun -- they even got a special dispensation from the Vatican to do so and he is allowed to perform sacraments. However, none of them are practicing Catholics today.
posted by briank at 12:33 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by briank at 12:33 PM on February 14, 2012
The tweets totally made me tear up.
And there's something that I never thought I'd write!
posted by gaspode at 12:34 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
And there's something that I never thought I'd write!
posted by gaspode at 12:34 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
A risky stem-cell treatment in Thailand afforded him a few more years.
I take it Jack and Peggy left the Catholic church when they got married?
posted by dubold at 12:36 PM on February 14, 2012
I take it Jack and Peggy left the Catholic church when they got married?
posted by dubold at 12:36 PM on February 14, 2012
I take it Jack and Peggy left the Catholic church when they got married?
From the tweets:
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:05 PM on February 14, 2012
From the tweets:
My Dad heard about a joint Israeli-Thai stem cell treatment in Thailand, using one's own stem cells from blood.The Catholic Church only objects to the use of embryonic stem cells, not adult stem cells. But even adult stem cell treatments still require FDA approval, and all the associated years of clinical trials, which is (I presume) why the treatment could not be done in the US.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:05 PM on February 14, 2012
*sniffle* Damn you, metafilter. Second link in a half hour that's made me tear up.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:39 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:39 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
This is a touching story. If only more relationships/marriages were like this....
posted by Anima Mundi at 2:04 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by Anima Mundi at 2:04 PM on February 14, 2012
Who needs over budgeted underwhelming romance films when we have wonderful real stories of love here?! I need to get some more tissues.
posted by tokidoki at 2:07 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by tokidoki at 2:07 PM on February 14, 2012
My wife had the good fortune to have Jack Fugelsang as her American History instructor in CC just after she decided to resume her education. His enthusiasm and encouragement played a huge role in rekindling her academic spirit and helping her realize that she was capable of excelling in school. We're both very sad to hear of his passing.
posted by gimli at 2:13 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by gimli at 2:13 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
Fucking awesome. The pictures in the slideshow were great, too. Thanks for the post!
posted by V4V at 2:21 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by V4V at 2:21 PM on February 14, 2012
My college roommate's parents were ex-nun + ex-priest. She had a field day with some of my wilder hair color experiments, bless her...
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:40 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:40 PM on February 14, 2012
The Catholic Church only objects to the use of embryonic stem cells, not adult stem cells. But even adult stem cell treatments still require FDA approval, and all the associated years of clinical trials, which is (I presume) why the treatment could not be done in the US.
posted by DevilsAdvocate
This is one of those eponywhatsits, isn't it?
posted by dubold at 3:39 PM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by DevilsAdvocate
This is one of those eponywhatsits, isn't it?
posted by dubold at 3:39 PM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
And my mother has had a tough time since then. I think that she realized that her love was every bit as deep as his. And she used to complain to me about how she would say, you know, oh, he won't stop telling me he loves me. I'm so sick of it. I don't know what to say. He just says I love you all day long. It drives me crazy. And then she said to me last month: I would give anything to hear him say it again.
Something keeps flying into my eyes each time I read this.
posted by the cydonian at 5:35 PM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
Something keeps flying into my eyes each time I read this.
posted by the cydonian at 5:35 PM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
My friend's parents were a novice and a�.brother, I think. As I have it, they met and within a week both left their respective orders in order to be together.
Delightful, delightful people: smart, principled, generous. They raised two wonderfuls sons who I feel lucky to know. He passed some years ago, but she kept in touch with the other women in her class/cohort/whatever and still visits them regularly.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:24 AM on February 15, 2012
Delightful, delightful people: smart, principled, generous. They raised two wonderfuls sons who I feel lucky to know. He passed some years ago, but she kept in touch with the other women in her class/cohort/whatever and still visits them regularly.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:24 AM on February 15, 2012
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posted by anya32 at 11:35 AM on February 14, 2012