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An old timer's first time medical marijuana experience
February 16, 2012 8:57 PM   Subscribe

A retired grandfather receives his medical marijuana card. He's never smoked before, and is trying it because he feels he is taking too many pills to control his back pain, anxiety, rage, and more. His exploration of the logistics (especially the pipe lighting techniques) is really quite charming.
posted by punocchio (49 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
Someone should have told him about the Launch Box.
posted by Dodecadermaldenticles at 9:07 PM on February 16, 2012 [7 favorites]


Hee!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:09 PM on February 16, 2012


Anybody give him some Grateful Dead records to set the mood? Or in this case maybe Tommy Dorsey?
posted by jonmc at 9:10 PM on February 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


They're letting him suck the flame through the carb instead of telling him to touch it to the herb just to fuck with him. Assuming this was made by someone he previously yelled at I can see why they might be having some fun at his expense.

Still kind of a dick move, though.
posted by clarknova at 9:14 PM on February 16, 2012


That was neat. I don't understand those glass bowls with carbs though. When did they add carbs to bowls?
posted by Ad hominem at 9:14 PM on February 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


When did they add carbs to bowls?

When every glass piece began to have pretentions of bonghood.

So about 1998.
posted by clarknova at 9:18 PM on February 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


The launch box is good but the Volcano is what grandpa really needs
posted by smackwich at 9:20 PM on February 16, 2012


Grandpa seems to have gotten the hang of the bowl just fine.
posted by Jon_Evil at 9:29 PM on February 16, 2012


At 00:42 seconds in, the intake lady says "You... taked a number of medications."
posted by Specklet at 9:31 PM on February 16, 2012


The launch box is good but the Volcano is what grandpa really needs

Dear God, no. Do you hand chainsaws to people trying to learn how to whittle?
posted by deanklear at 9:32 PM on February 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


Getting high is too complex now. They don't even make peice of shit plastic bongs anymore. They are all $900 silicate lab peices with diffuser arms and percolators and ash catchers. I was confronted with one of those glass pipes with a carb a few years back, made me swear off for good.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:32 PM on February 16, 2012


My friend's father went through an awesome transformation through similar circumstances. When her and I first started hanging out, I met him a few times - my memory from those days was of a stuffy ex-Hollywood suit who had moved his family up to Canada just for the school system. Generally he just stressed and complained and argued with his family about everything. Then ... his heart pretty much failed him. I think he came close to death a few times.

I'd heard from her that he was being given medical mj but (of course) complained about it and tried to fight the doctors' recommendations. After that my friend moved away and I didn't hear much, until last year when her grandfather passed away and she came back to deal with his possessions. I offered to help drive her around.

We were at the grandfather's condo when her dad showed up, wearing cargo shorts, skate shoes, a ball cap and a backpack. My first thought was of Gavin on Kids In The Hall. He kept wanting to pull his vaporizer out of his backpack, but the rest of the family wouldn't let him, so instead he got out a small pharmacy of thc tinctures and repeatedly offered some to me, despite my "I gotta drive, man!" objections.

I liked him a lot better that time.
posted by mannequito at 9:39 PM on February 16, 2012 [15 favorites]


My first thought was of Gavin on Kids In The Hall.

And now he's hip, he's cool, he's 45!
posted by ripley_ at 9:50 PM on February 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


He needs a vaporizer. Wasting his time with the bowl.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:54 PM on February 16, 2012


Was I the only one thinking dude had smoked some other stuff seeing his approach to hitting the weed pipe?
posted by Matt Oneiros at 10:14 PM on February 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


Was I the only one thinking dude had smoked some other stuff seeing his approach to hitting the weed pipe?

I figured he had just seen too many movies and didn't know the difference between drugs/techniques. After all, the reason he figured it out is because he used to smoke a tobacco pipe (which is essentially the same thing, except, you know, not glass). It's like he suddenly clued in: wait, tobacco is a plant; pot is a plant; maybe you smoke them the same way!
posted by asnider at 10:31 PM on February 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm not against medical marijuana at all, but from the sound of it this guy needs some therapy as well (or instead of).
posted by Defenestrator at 10:36 PM on February 16, 2012


Ad hominem: "Getting high is too complex now. They don't even make peice of shit plastic bongs anymore. They are all $900 silicate lab peices with diffuser arms and percolators and ash catchers. I was confronted with one of those glass pipes with a carb a few years back, made me swear off for good."

You can still buy rolling papers.

Granted they are carbon filtered / rice paper hybrids they require a basic origami class to roll properly but you can buy them.
posted by Bonzai at 11:06 PM on February 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


Grandaddy Purple!

You know what I'm talking about. Shit, have you ever looked in the mirror and noticed how the wrinkles in your skin are spelling letters? Hah! That one says "boat"! Jeez, I was on a boat during the Korean War. I ate a dish there called Bim Bam Boat. Shoo wop a woppa ding dang. No, I'm kidding about that. Now I'm hungry. I'm not really that hungry, but I'm thirsty. I'm thirsty three and a third! Times two! But I'm not two timing, because that would be Wong. I didn't really meet a guy named Wong in Korea, but I did my best to do him right. Holy shit, is that your elbow? Jesus probably smoked pot... Hey, wait a minute... listen to this... what if Jesus smoked pot and the whole angels thing was named Wing? No, that's Wong. Haaheehaheehaheehee. You know, in my day, we didn't have this stuff. Think about it. No, really. Think about it. We had Doris Day! She was hot. She was a hot Day. But not a hot date. That would be wrong. Or ring. Have you ever noticed how funny the word "ring" sounds? Ring a ding a ding. That's a song by Frank Sinatra, you know. I'm still hungry. Are you going to eat all those chicken wings? With elbow macaroni? Holy shit, did you ever think that if somebody's sitting on the right hand of God then maybe somebody else is sitting on his elbow?

Why haven't I noticed that before?
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:10 PM on February 16, 2012 [13 favorites]


Why not just go for help butter and hope it cures cancer as a side effect of baking?
posted by rough ashlar at 11:14 PM on February 16, 2012


Somehow I assumed the $10 thin glass bowl with a carb on the side had been around basically forever. It's a pretty elegant piece of technology, and they must be quick to produce if you know what you're doing with glass.
posted by brennen at 11:21 PM on February 16, 2012


Ad hom, are you from the parallel dimension? I've never seen a glass pipe without a carb.
posted by flaterik at 11:27 PM on February 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


Maybe it is a west coast thing? I had never seen a glass pipe before 2 years ago. They were all the metal type with screens.
posted by Ad hominem at 11:48 PM on February 16, 2012


Wait until he sees a double rainbow.
posted by arcticseal at 12:14 AM on February 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


What's a carb?
posted by Sebmojo at 12:39 AM on February 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


Was I the only one thinking dude had smoked some other stuff seeing his approach to hitting the weed pipe?

He said specifically he'd smoked a tobaco pipe before.

Stoners make everything too damn complicated. "You've got to take a huge gulp and hold it in!!!" -- If you don't smoke weed very often you'll get perfectly stoned without any heroic effort.
posted by Paris Hilton at 12:43 AM on February 17, 2012 [3 favorites]


And, according to the BBC documentary on pot that I saw (their 3 part drug series, marijuana, MDMA, cocaine, was really interesting and shockingly nonjudgmental to american ears), holding it in doesn't affect the amount of active ingredients absorbed. I have no idea if that's true or not, but they said it in a british accent so it was authoritative sounding.
posted by flaterik at 12:50 AM on February 17, 2012 [7 favorites]


Was I the only one thinking dude had smoked some other stuff seeing his approach to hitting the weed pipe?

No, I also suspected that he'd spent some period of time with his lips clamped around the devil's dick.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:45 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Paris Hilton: "if you don't smoke weed very often you'll get perfectly stoned without any heroic effort."

maybe the second time

the first time (ever / after a long time) is often a dud
posted by idiopath at 4:04 AM on February 17, 2012


What's a carb?

Is butter a carb?
posted by piratebowling at 4:17 AM on February 17, 2012 [4 favorites]


Re: carbs. Back in the mid-70s there was an actual mail order catalog called "Mellow Mail" which sold an array of pipes, bongs, mirrors, razor blades (yes, cocaine was part of the mix) etc. and I can attest that many, many pipes in that catalog included carburetors. The idea was to allow the smoker to add air to the mix when drawing from a particularly intense bowl, thus cooling it down. And yes, they worked.

This was cute although I did think letting the guy coat that poor pipe with carbon was pretty dickish.

Meanwhile it's interesting that once again the media is full of news about a possible prescription drug fatality, whereas a fatal dose of marijuana has yet to be determined.
posted by kinnakeet at 4:55 AM on February 17, 2012


My mother made peanut butter pot cookies for my grandmother (with permission), but she decided it made her dizzy and anxious. My aunt, who has MS, took them instead. She asked her GP for a prescription, but the doctor said that medical marijuana was more expensive and lower quality than the stuff she could get on the street.
posted by jeather at 6:16 AM on February 17, 2012


Having uh, educated some friends on proper technique, I enjoy stuff like this.

BTW, at least around these parts, you can definitely still get crappy basic plastic bongs, but you should stay away from them. You can get just as simple glass ones that are not hard to use at all. You don't have to mess with bubblers and ash catchers and ice chambers and all that shit.

But yeah, vaporizer.

a Carb is a carburetor... a hole in a pipe or bong that you cover at first, but then release in order to let fresh air in to mix with smoke and / or clear the chamber of smoke. Despite what you see in movies where they pass their buddy the bong FILLED with billowing smoke, that is acutally really bad etiquette. You clear your chamber mister, or no muchines for you!
posted by utsutsu at 6:47 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


no muchines for you!

Oh man, now I really, really want a muchine, regardless of what it is.
posted by kinnakeet at 7:05 AM on February 17, 2012 [3 favorites]


Oh man, now I really, really want a muchine, regardless of what it is.

I hope it's like a poutine.
posted by grubby at 7:08 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


That "Holy Shit" look @ 2:23 is priceless.
posted by eggman at 7:11 AM on February 17, 2012


maybe the second time

Sociologists in the house may be reminded of Howard Becker's classic essay, 'Becoming a Marjiuana User'.

And there's an essay by one of the Critical Criminologists (or someone from the Centre For Contemporary Cultural Studies) that, referring to the above has a section titled "Howard Becker: change your dealer!"
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:16 AM on February 17, 2012


I died laughing when I first saw that clip. Why wouldn't someone say "You are doing it wrong!"

I mean these film people obviously have seen people smoking pot, if they don't do it themselves. I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face during his carbon coating technique. Straight to laugh city for me! (Full disclosure, I was high while watching it, but I probably would have laughed regardless).

Another thing was later on when he said it wasn't for him, cannabis is like any other substance, but with a twist. Your body needs to be acclimated to THC and cannabinoids and every strain is different.

I don't know, a pot is like coffee to me. You just get use to it with the added bonus of no withdrawls (unlike caffeine, my first love and a bitch if you ignore her)
posted by handbanana at 7:21 AM on February 17, 2012


Mandatory viewing of this clip for any proponent of D.A.R.E, Partnership for a Drug Free America, District Attorneys, Asst. District Attorneys, etc., etc . . .

"I've seen paintings like that . . ."

And don't get me started on the logic William J. Bennett spouts in this NYT Opinion piece from Wednesday . . .
posted by eggman at 7:22 AM on February 17, 2012


I died laughing when I first saw that clip. Why wouldn't someone say "You are doing it wrong!"

Because it's a clever put-on? Dude's 66, meaning he was born in 1946, and 22 in 1968, the summer of love. He's well within the weed-smoking era, but a few years short of the peak pipe smoking era of the fifties. That bit about attempting spark the bowl by applying flame to the bottom? I call bogus but I'm amused anyway.
posted by Gordion Knott at 7:44 AM on February 17, 2012 [3 favorites]


She asked her GP for a prescription, but the doctor said that medical marijuana was more expensive and lower quality than the stuff she could get on the street.

Isn't the whole point of the prescription to make it not (or at least less) illegal?
posted by Meatbomb at 7:54 AM on February 17, 2012


Isn't the whole point of the prescription to make it not (or at least less) illegal?

Well, yes, which is part of why the suggestion was amusing. Though realistically, no one in this city is going to get busted for personal amounts of pot, and if someone does, it's not going to be a 50 year old white woman who is both very rich and actually sick.
posted by jeather at 7:57 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


At least in the US, the doctors do not provide actual prescriptions for the use of cannabis, rather a "recommendation" to do so. This is to get around the Controlled Substances Act, which classifies Cannabis and its derivatives as a Schedule 1 drug. Being a Scheduled 1 drug means physicians cannot prescribe the substance without prior authorization of the DEA.

Mind you heroin, marijuana and pretty much all the fun psychedelics are schedule 1. Surprisingly cocaine, and methamphetamine are schedule 2.

Here is more info to understand the Controlled Substances and their classification.
posted by handbanana at 8:21 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Was I the only one thinking dude had smoked some other stuff seeing his approach to hitting the weed pipe?

He said specifically he'd smoked a tobaco pipe before.


He's referring to his initial attempts to light the bottom of the pipe itself. That's not how you smoke a tobacco pipe. To smoke tobacco or marijuana, you generally light the plant matter in the bowl directly.

Lighting the pipe from the underside is used for drugs that need to be cooked into a vapor to prevent the active ingredient from being destroyed. It's the classic method for "smoking" opium & hash, and the contemporary method for freebasing powdered drugs like cocaine, speed, heroin, many pharmaceuticals, and various hybridized or crystallized forms of the same.
posted by snottydick at 9:14 AM on February 17, 2012


Jesus, why isn't there some volunteer heads to show him the ropes, and make sure he's not the kind of personality that freaks out or gets paranoid?
posted by clvrmnky at 9:37 AM on February 17, 2012


Jesus, why isn't there some volunteer heads to show him the ropes, and make sure he's not the kind of personality that freaks out or gets paranoid?


THAT would be a fun job requisition to write!
posted by punocchio at 1:35 PM on February 17, 2012


While the whole smoking mechanics mixup was amusing, I think my favorite part was the last third, as he ventures out into the world and just starts experiencing things without a filter, without reservations about trusting his observations. There was this tone to his voice, of just a little bit of wonderment coming out, and the lack of self-consciousness in expressing it. That feeling of vicarious first discoveries was really very cheering.
posted by FatherDagon at 1:50 PM on February 17, 2012 [4 favorites]


the first time (ever / after a long time) is often a dud
I'm sure it depends more on the weed then the n00b.
posted by Paris Hilton at 2:23 PM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Mind you heroin, marijuana and pretty much all the fun psychedelics are schedule 1. Surprisingly cocaine, and methamphetamine are schedule 2.
Cocaine solutions use by eye doctors to numb your eyes, rather then novocaine. Methamphetamine is actually pretty commonly prescribed for ADD
posted by Paris Hilton at 2:25 PM on February 17, 2012


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