what do you do?

February 24, 2012 9:01 AM

You have woken up in a dark room.
posted by flex (34 comments total)

A little weak. I got caught in a loop looking for a light switch, then getting told it was dark, then looking for a light switch, wash, rinse, repeat.
posted by Samizdata at 9:10 AM on February 24

A little weak. I got caught in a loop looking for a light switch, then getting told it was dark, then looking for a light switch, wash, rinse, repeat.

I think that's the joke?
posted by eugenen at 9:18 AM on February 24

Instead of participating, I am going to wax nostalgic about the Choose Your Own Adventure books I read as a kid. Those books totally hold up, right?
posted by jabberjaw at 9:20 AM on February 24

This is so unrealistic. Stagger to the bathroom isn't even an option.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:20 AM on February 24 [3 favorites]

Apropos of nothing, the narwhal ring holder linked on that page just screams "one in a million, doc!"
posted by Burhanistan at 9:22 AM on February 24

Anyone else bamboozled by that hyphen between the "is" and "a" in the second paragraph?
posted by 3FLryan at 9:22 AM on February 24

You are lying! I never hit you! YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!!!
posted by Fizz at 9:25 AM on February 24 [1 favorite]

Well I'm going to get the lamp of course.
posted by Mister_A at 9:27 AM on February 24

Those books totally hold up, right?

Oh hells yes. I still have one about Superman somewhere. It is poorly written but I like the times when Superman runs into some red kryptonite and turns into a baby, etc.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 9:30 AM on February 24

eugenen: "A little weak. I got caught in a loop looking for a light switch, then getting told it was dark, then looking for a light switch, wash, rinse, repeat.

I think that's the joke?"

Oh, joke. Gotcha.

Ha. Ha ha.
posted by Samizdata at 9:33 AM on February 24

My whole life is a dark room. One. Big. Dark. Room.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:35 AM on February 24 [2 favorites]

Ended up running into the walls and turning on the light switch with my blood, and dying. Sweet.
posted by cashman at 9:39 AM on February 24

Hey, I found the light switch.

Well, sort of.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:40 AM on February 24

uncleozzy's body is apparently slumped atop mine.
posted by cashman at 9:41 AM on February 24

want. to. kill. that. guy. 's. voice.
posted by RollingGreens at 9:45 AM on February 24 [2 favorites]

I felt around for the light switch, asshole.
posted by cmoj at 9:49 AM on February 24

That wasn't a light switch. But thank you.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:55 AM on February 24 [6 favorites]

Ah, the 100% good ending... is not really 100% good.
posted by uncleozzy at 10:03 AM on February 24

John Robertson on The Dark Room, his merciless and hilarious YouTube game (interview)

"John Robertson has created a monster. The Australian stand-up comedian’s YouTube adventure game The Dark Room has been played over 220,000 times in less than three weeks. While many have entered The Dark Room, few have found their way out, and the comments on YouTube are filled with cries of despair, from players trapped in Robertson’s devilishly clever puzzle-box adventure.

Channeling the spirit of classic text adventure games, Robertson’s Floating Head character mocks and chastises players as they fail to so much as switch on a light. I spent nearly an hour being berated by The Floating Head yesterday and came nowhere near discovering the near-mythical “good ending.” Resisting the urge to unplug my computer, I instead got in touch with Robertson, to ask about his inspiration and to find out if he will ever reveal the solution to The Dark Room..."
posted by flex at 10:21 AM on February 24

This seems like a fun idea.
posted by zarq at 10:48 AM on February 24

I got called a dirty pantsless brickworks slut! How did he know?!
posted by peppermind at 12:11 PM on February 24 [2 favorites]

Just because 220,000 people played it in 3 weeks doesn't mean it's any good.
posted by LoudMusic at 12:37 PM on February 24

I think I found the "good" ending, which turned out to be a rather weird monologue involving bicycles. Or perhaps that wasn't an ending at all?
posted by pharm at 12:57 PM on February 24

There is a video called "100% Good Ending." It had 990-ish views when I found it. It links to the credits, which had only about 370, I think. I'm pretty sure that's the "real" ending. Or at least was, at some point, the real ending.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:06 PM on February 24

I must have done something wrong. I wound up at a video called "100% Happy Ending." But my work blocked it for some reason.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:23 PM on February 24 [2 favorites]

"You have woken up in a dark room"
>Grope around for film opener and developer tank
posted by WaylandSmith at 1:35 PM on February 24 [1 favorite]

I wondered what James Pedeaston was doing after all these years.
posted by Smedleyman at 4:28 PM on February 24

Apparently I am a brick wall whore. And also that is the name of my new band.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 5:31 PM on February 24 [1 favorite]

Needs more Brian Blessed.
posted by hot soup girl at 7:51 PM on February 24

It's dangerous to go alone! Take this map
posted by reynaert at 1:58 AM on February 25

Couldn't you have used somewhere less obnoxious than mediafire reynaert? Even scribd...
posted by pharm at 2:03 AM on February 25

scribd
posted by reynaert at 2:21 AM on February 25

Thanks reynaert!

So the "good ending" (which is the only ending I didn't find!) is not really all that good after all?
posted by pharm at 5:21 AM on February 25

A CYOA as narrated by psuedo-Daniel Day Lewis.

_{i bled to death after running head first in to a wall.}
posted by codacorolla at 7:56 AM on February 25