Comments on: Comments on 11317

Post number 11317

machaus — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:15:01 -0800

From the poorly chosen headlines department. I guess the Seattle Mariners need a better "reliever." (NYT link, you know the drill...)

By: msacheson

msacheson — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:19:04 -0800

I saw that earlier and thought, "Yup, Colon was strong to the end."

By: internal

internal — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:25:21 -0800

Must have had too much Mexican food?

By: ChrisTN

ChrisTN — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:34:16 -0800

So, what, if he just plays half a game, is that a semi-Colon? (rimshot) Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week!

By: davidmsc

davidmsc — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:45:32 -0800

Colon...Mariners...hmmm...seem to recall Homer telling John (Waters) that "you guys (homosexuals) made the Navy a floating joke!" Or words to that effect. Life imitates art. And ChrisTN: hope your day-job is secure... ;-)

By: Rubicon1

Rubicon1 — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:22:18 -0800

If you can't take the heat, stay out of the Colon. Mariners' official reply: It's not the heat; it's the humidity. And, finally, when they make Colons illegal, only criminals will have Colons. (I'm not sure about that one). Remember to tip your servers.

By: arco

arco — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:28:52 -0800

If they rested him for a game, would they be giving Colon a blow? [i hate myself when i do things like this]

By: MetalHead

MetalHead — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:34:30 -0800

arco, you beat me to it. If he was a reliever: "Colon blows the save". Ouch, that hurts even me. I won't be quitting my day job either.

By: Rubicon1

Rubicon1 — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:35:01 -0800

The weird thing is, the last time he faced the Mariners, they licked him. And did ChrisTN intend the "rimshot" quadruple entendre, or was that just good luck?

By: machaus

machaus — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:37:22 -0800

Rectum? He threw 12 strikeouts against 'em!

By: arco

arco — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:46:11 -0800

Regarding Colon, doesn't the windup hurt? or I think there's an operation to help with Colon's windup. [okay, that was a bit of a stretch...]

By: Rubicon1

Rubicon1 — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:47:13 -0800

I can't help myself--here's a few more: I heard he got behind early on, but then worked his way back on top and drove it home. He spotted each batter two balls before sending anything down the middle, but managed to get twelve of them to whiff. I have now officially regressed to sixth grade level. While we're here, d'ya ever type the number 55378008 into a calculator and then look at it upside down? I got tons of this stuff.

By: Rubicon1

Rubicon1 — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:48:50 -0800

Last one, I promise. The thing about Colon is, he's usually pretty solid but every once in a while he's apt to submit to a blowout.

By: Rubicon1

Rubicon1 — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:48:50 -0800

Last one, I promise. The thing about Colon is, he's usually pretty solid but every once in a while he's apt to submit to a blowout.

By: Rubicon1

Rubicon1 — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:48:56 -0800

Last one, I promise. The thing about Colon is, he's usually pretty solid but every once in a while he's apt to submit to a blowout.

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:51:44 -0800

OK you need a timeout now rubicon

By: machaus

machaus — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:52:42 -0800

promise?

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 15:54:33 -0800

When he throws out his arm: Distended Colon. And loading a bowl before the game: High Colonic. And of course what he'll need when he has that career-threatening injury: Exploratory Colon Surgery

By: davidmsc

davidmsc — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 16:08:51 -0800

Slightly off topic, but I've gotta hear what you think: Shouldn't our Secretary of State's name be pronounced "Coll-in" and not "Cole-in?" That's always bothered me.

By: phoenix enflamed

phoenix enflamed — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 16:12:15 -0800

Best part of the headline is you didn't need to log into NYT to see it...

By: clevershark

clevershark — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 18:32:29 -0800

What if he doesn't make next year's squad? Will the headlines read, "Mariners Cut Colon Loose"?

By: arco

arco — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 19:06:46 -0800

Either that or "Mariners Dump Colon."

By: gleemax

gleemax — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 19:35:28 -0800

You people are damn funny.

By: crasspastor

crasspastor — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 20:23:18 -0800

Colon doesn't play for the Mariners. He's an Indian, Colon he is. FYI

By: bjgeiger

bjgeiger — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 20:23:59 -0800

Maybe "Mariners given Colon-ectomy."

By: arco

arco — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 20:46:21 -0800

crasspastor: I knew that, dammit, and I still didn't catch myself... Well, how 'bout this: "Indians' Colon Blows Away Yankees" I'm assuming a match was involved! I'm picturing something from the French and Indian War... [please stop me]

By: Jairus

Jairus — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 21:58:55 -0800

I've managed to spray Cherry Coke everywhere while laughing, I hope you guys are happy. When my roommate wonders why his keyboard is sticky, I doubt he'll accept any excuse that involves the word 'colon'.

By: arco

arco — Wed, 10 Oct 2001 22:35:38 -0800

One more before I go to bed. First, some background: Pittsburgh has a new ballpark called PNC Park, named after a bank. Therefore: "Colon Tested at PNC" (say it out loud, and say the ballpark name slowly)

By: houndyboy

houndyboy — Thu, 11 Oct 2001 00:52:12 -0800

"Yankee Swingers Tied In Knots By Colon: Vow Revenge"