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Oh, Those Severed Heads
February 24, 2012 10:13 AM   Subscribe

Planning of Municipal Bus Line 11A Three Weeks Into the First Ron Paul Administration. "Stop 3: Union Street to Walk Hill Street – It depends on your definition of “impassible.” Since the Postal Service was disbanded and PCP was legalized on the same day, roving bands of rival mail carriers seem to behead each other a lot in this area. I guess I’m saying it depends on any given driver’s tolerance for driving around severed heads."

The piece was written by Andrew Golden, who had an earlier McSweeneys piece looked at by Language Log.
posted by mreleganza (17 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
It depends on your definition of “impassible.”

impassible (comparative more impassible, superlative most impassible)
(chiefly theology) Unable to suffer, or feel pain.
Unable to feel emotion; impassive.
Incapable of suffering injury or detriment.

impassable (comparative more impassable, superlative most impassable)
(of a route, terrain, etc.) Incapable of being passed over, crossed, or negotiated.
(of an obstacle) Incapable of being overcome or surmounted.
(of currency) Not useable as legal tender.
posted by zamboni at 10:18 AM on February 24, 2012 [6 favorites]


You don’t want to know. Let’s just leave it at this: it has something to do with the 14th Amendment no longer applying to the states, child labor in anthracite mines, and that pulsating orb that reads minds found in the basement of the Federal Reserve before they blew it up.
Cute--it reads like a combination of what Paulistas believe and what anti-Paulistas believe an actual Paul Administration would be like.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:20 AM on February 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


mreleganza: The piece was written by Andrew Golden, who had an earlier McSweeneys piece looked at by Language Log.
"He was wrong on all counts. This is not the first evidence that McSweeney's needs a joke checker.

I know, it's just a joke. But if a joke make obviously factual assumptions in passing (say, that Kansas is east of Missouri, or that Jacques Chirac is a leader of the socialist party), and these assumptions have nothing to do with the funny part of the joke, then it kind of spoils the fun. Especially if the funny part is supposed to be about how some people are ignorant of elementary facts and skills."
Burn! And it's true! Double burn!
posted by filthy light thief at 10:21 AM on February 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


I see that McSweenys has joined the growing number of sites that hate people on tablets and phones who visit their sites occasionally. I have learned this through their method of mentioning they have an app.

Which is saying they have an app in some kind of ridiculous notifier that appears, shouting (in a visual manner) "HEY WE HAVE AN APP DOWNLOAD IT NOW, DAMN YOUR EYES, NOW!!!"

McSweenys is slightly less annoying than some (Rupert Murdoch's Pits of Voles earned him at least a spare millienium in Hell for his), but I don't know anyone so dedicated to McSweenys they go there repeatedly, daily, to read things there.

Also, this piece: mildly amusing but the writer has never really ridden buses in Newark, NJ, where that kind of stuff was normal in the late 80s/early 90s.
posted by mephron at 10:43 AM on February 24, 2012


mephron: "HEY WE HAVE AN APP DOWNLOAD IT NOW, DAMN YOUR EYES, NOW!!!"

Wait, are those websites run by Sam Hall?
posted by filthy light thief at 11:22 AM on February 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


GOOGLE RON PAULOCALYPSE!
posted by vibrotronica at 11:29 AM on February 24, 2012


Hey zamboni, now do "hording"
posted by ook at 11:29 AM on February 24, 2012


I want to like this...but the writing style is hard to digest. This persons whole website seems like some sort of inside joke to which I am not privy. For that, i do not like it....but the wifi article is funny.
posted by jnnla at 11:33 AM on February 24, 2012


Which is saying they have an app in some kind of ridiculous notifier that appears, shouting (in a visual manner) "HEY WE HAVE AN APP DOWNLOAD IT NOW, DAMN YOUR EYES, NOW!!!"

Yeah, but in their defense their ipad app has a pretty cool easter egg art piece (skip to ~2:30) in it that almost justifies the and and halfway justifies their flippant disregard for the HiG.
posted by michaelh at 11:43 AM on February 24, 2012


Typo: almost justifies the ad* and halfway
posted by michaelh at 11:44 AM on February 24, 2012


The lion's share of political contributions by servicemembers and defense industry workers is going to anti-war, "soft on Israel," also-ran candidate Ron Paul. In fact, the battle for their dollars isn't even close: Paul has raised at least $282,868 from individual active-duty servicemembers and Pentagon employees—more than four times what the other three Republican presidential candidates have raised, combined. ... "Clearly there's something about Paul that appeals to some members of the military," says Viveca Novak of the Center for Responsive Politics, which provided Mother Jones with the most recent tally of military contributions. "Whether it's that he speaks his mind, wants to end foreign engagements, has a libertarian's view of the world—we can't say."
posted by Trurl at 11:45 AM on February 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Hey did you ever notice how McSweeney's kind of approaches humor with like a lab coat and a pair of tweezers?"

Ironically the only time Molly came even close to being funny.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:49 AM on February 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


Is there some particular information I'm missing that I'm not quite getting here? I mean, I know who Ron Paul is, but I'm not seeing how any of the rest of what they're talking about fits into....whatever this is.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:11 PM on February 24, 2012


Is there some particular information I'm missing that I'm not quite getting here? I mean, I know who Ron Paul is, but I'm not seeing how any of the rest of what they're talking about fits into....whatever this is.

Well, since he's the most libertarian candidate, this is a sendup/parody of a libertarian administration quickly descending into Mad Max-style quasi-anarchy.

I thought it was quite funny and I still like McSweeney's. (blows raspberry)
posted by mreleganza at 12:27 PM on February 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I thought it was quite funny and I still like McSweeney's. (blows raspberry)

Hear, hear!
posted by jsr1138 at 12:39 PM on February 24, 2012


I'm curious as to why the bus went by the interstate on the way from Edgewood to the CDC, when everyone knows it goes up Briarcliff.
posted by Panjandrum at 1:23 PM on February 24, 2012


This is sort of a near-perfect example of what Chris Onstad was talking about in Achewood nine years ago.
posted by uberchet at 12:33 PM on February 27, 2012


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